Forever

by Jacquelyn Frank

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly to him, reaching out to cover the hand that held Leo’s. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I know that. And I do know you as well. Menes notwithstanding, you are a strong man with a great focus on doing what’s right. And I should know after these past couple of days that there are things in this world of which you have a far better understanding than I do. Jackson, I’ll take care of him until your help arrives. You know that I will and I know you know me and just how stubborn I can be.”

  By the time she said that last part his anger was visibly gone and he even spared her a small smile as he reached for a cloth and began to help her clean the blood away from his friend’s wounds.

  Kamenwati let Ahnvil shove him into the small bedroom. Judging by the size of the house and the grand appointments within it, it was probably intended as servant’s quarters. Ahnvil shut the door, the rough stone beast shifting form from grotesque to human with a wide shrug of his shoulders, his wings collapsing to his back and then disappearing altogether. He did not, however, rid himself of his stone skin. Kamen might have told him there was no need for it, as he wasn’t planning on battling him or es expression on his face for itihlycaping his present situation. No. Kamen was not always a fool. He knew he was, at present, in the safest place on earth.

  But neither did he hold out much hope that they would be any match up against a god. Spell work had conjured him from the depths of obscurity, perhaps magic could reverse that. But even if there were an enchantment that could be applied to the situation, Kamen didn’t know what it was. In the end that was what this would boil down to. Finding the spell to reverse his foul stupidity, and then finding magic users powerful enough to wield the spell and yet manage to keep themselves alive throughout the process.

  But outside of himself and Odjit, he didn’t know of anyone else strong enough. Perhaps Tameri, Odjit’s powerful niece, but by his count she was only three weeks Blended. It would take much longer than that before Tameri’s power had grown to full strength. And that was the problem with the Blending. While it was different for everyone, whether it went easy or hard, it left them very vulnerable … and often didn’t reach full strength before they were hunted down and assassinated.

  “Leave it to you,” Ahnvil growled at him, “to loose hell on earth with no regard for the long term. That’s the problem with you Templars. You’re impulsive, shortsighted, and selfish. You care nothing for anything besides your personal agendas.”

  “Show me a single creature on this earth that does not crave. Show me one that will not go to great lengths to appease that craving, even if only to ignore it.”

  Kamen spoke quietly. He was stating fact, not defending his position. It didn’t matter anymore what he felt, what he needed, or what he wanted. All that mattered was righting the wrong he had done. Oh, it could never make up for all the thousands of other wrongs he had committed throughout his many lives as he had allowed Odjit to put blinders on him so that all he could see was her. Although it had not been her inasmuch as it was what she represented. He had been devoted to Odjit and the ideal he believed she stood for. To confess the ill in her would be to recognize the poison he himself had become by association.

  He had only wanted unity. The scrolls decreed there as his teeth c

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Some time later Jackson found himself sitting in a chair at Leo’s bedside, watching him while he slept and, expression on his face14ibig Nané reassured him, healed. After she had healed him she had said he was doing very well, considering the trauma he had gone through. Nané did what she did very well, her innate healing ability allowing her to bring Leo much further along. But her skills were only so strong and she had tired quickly. He had given her his leave once he knew Leo was out of danger and no longer in any pain.

  He needed to go to Kamen and rip some answers out of the son of a bitch. He needed to know if this was his fault. Had they gone gunning for Leo to try to get to Jackson? Did they pursue his friend after the altercation in the woods and then put him through this horror because of him?

  And he was thinking of putting Marissa in this kind of danger?

  “Oh god, Leo, she’s right. It’s insane to tell her I care for her one minute and then the next throw her in the middle of this train wreck our lives have become. But when I think of moving into the future without her by my side, it devastates me in a way I never thought I could feel for anyone other than you and Docia. It would cut my heart out if I lost either of you. You’re the closest thing Docia and I have to a brother … hell, Docia even tells people you’re our brother when in casual conversation. It just doesn’t occur to her that you aren’t.”

  And it wasn’t until that moment that he realized how much he had been missing Leo these past few weeks. Leo remembered nothing of the night Jackson had met death and reawakened as Menes’s host, so he hadn’t been able to discuss it with him. With his best friend and, yes, for all intents and purposes, his brother. And that had been hard. Keeping this secret, Jackson realized, had put Leo in jeopardy by not forewarning him he might have some dangers to face because of it.

  “Jackson, please, stop.”

  Jackson startled, standing up and swinging around to see Marissa standing in the doorway. He hadn’t even heard her, he who had this supernaturally acute hearing. He had been too wrapped up in his grief.

  She moved over to him quickly, surprising him yet again when she wrapped her arms around him and hugged herself to him. His hands fell hesitantly on her shoulders. He wasn’t quite used to this affectionate, warm side of her. She had always been so professional and crisp. It was funny, but he’d once fantasized about her … doing just this. Coming over to him and hugging him and telling him it was going to be all right.

  “You aren’t responsible for this,” she said, her voice whisper-soft in his ear. “The evil that did this to him is responsible. Leo will know that, I suspect. He always struck me … well, I don’t know him personally, but he’s ex-military … a war veteran … so he knows.”

  “Yes, but will he understand why I now have to make friends with that evil?”

  She pulled back. “You think that man did this?”

  “I … don’t know yet. I have to talk to him. And I have to talk to Leo.”

  “So talk.” The gravelly command came from the bed and Jackson whipped around so fast he nearly pulled her off her feet. But he was reflexively holding her against him as he moved closer to the bed and leaned toward Leo.

  “Dude, you look like shit,” Jackson said frankly.

  “At least I have an excu to make me feel …H betterse,” he said, chuckling gingerly. “What’s yours?” It was clear he was sore and uncomfortable, and when he moved to sit upright, Jackson instinctively wanted to tell him to relax and just lie down … but he knew the reaction he’d get from Leo and how he himself would behave if the tables were turned. Leo was going to come out fighting, rushing to get back to himself … to be something other than a victim.

  Luckily there was a trained psychiatrist in the room.

  “Mr. Alvarez,” she said sharply as she pulled away from Jackson. “You are far from well enough to bounce onto your feet and hit the ground running. Lay back down and heal,” she said, pointing to the bed authoritatively.

  “You know, that would be more compelling if I hadn’t seen you snuggling with Officer Huggy Bear over here.” Leo nodded toward Jackson.

  “Would it be more compelling if I sat on your chest?” Jackson bit out. The last thing he needed was Leo making her feel self-conscious, even if it was just a defense mechanism on his part.

  “No, but it would be compelling if she did.” Leo chuckled again, finding himself genuinely funny. And Jackson had to admit, no one did a one liner or a potshot better than Leo did.

  “Behave yourself. Do what the doctor says,” Jackson said, reading the pain Leo was putting himself in by the white, tight lines around his lips and the clench of his jaw. “Besides, I need you to tell me what happened.”r />
  “Fine. I’ll talk.” But Leo would be damned if he would do it lying down in a bed. He’d been strapped down long enough, now he needed to move. Then he needed to get his desert eagle and stick the muzzle right down the throat of the prick bastard who had done this to him. “It was that kid. From when Docia disappeared. The Down syndrome kid.”

  “Andy?” Jackson was aghast with shock and horror as he remembered what Leo had looked like an hour ago.

  That was when dizziness and his pal weakness paid Leo a visit, lecturing him about how much blood he’d lost. He gritted his teeth with anger, but stayed seated on the bed. He knew it wouldn’t do him any good to stand up only to end up back on the floor again.

  “Yeah, him. I turned my back on him because I thought he was harmless.” He laughed, full of wry self-recrimination. “He jumped me and … he’s a psychopath. A sadistic psychopath. I didn’t even think it was possible. But I should have known better than to turn my back on anyone. Won’t make that mistake twice, I’ll guarantee you.”

  “Come on, Leo,” Marissa scolded. “Down syndrome children and adults are some of the sweetest and more beautiful souls walking this earth. And because of their distinctive features it’s like an instant trigger for us to not see them as a threat.” She shivered visibly, rubbing at her arms. “My god. That poor baby has that kind of evil subjugating him? Isn’t there any way you can get the Templar soul out?”

  “Templar soul?” Leo echoed. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “No,” Jackson answered her. “At least, not that we’ve discovered.” Then Jackson took a breath and said to Leo, “This is going to take a little bit of explanation.”

  expression on his face Ahnvilihly* * *

  “Holy shit” was Leo’s response after a long minute of sitting in stunned silence. “You know, normally I would have called you insane for a story like that and rung up the crazy police to come get you,” he said, his resignation evident in his tone. “But the truth is, after what I’ve just seen and experienced, I’m a believer.” The last part came out of him in a bitter tone.

  “I’m sorry, Leo,” Marissa heard Jackson say softly. “Leo, I’m so goddamn sorry I put you in the middle of this. I think they were trying to get information on me; kidnapping you with the hope I’d beat the bushes frantically in a search for you and give myself away. I should have warned you. I should have confided in you.”

  “Listen, hotshot, before you start beating yourself up, I don’t think that’s why they came after me. I can tell you with a huge amount of certainty that this was revenge motivated. The South African prick who dragged me out of there told me as much.” His mouth went tight around the edges. “And as much as I would love his head on a plate … it sounds like a better tactical advantage to keep him alive … for now anyway. No, I’m far more interested in dealing with that little fuck who holds the real Andy a prisoner in his own body.”

  “There’s no way of changing it … the only way to get rid of Chatha is to kill the innocent kid,” Jackson said gravely. And he raised a quick hand to silence Marissa with a finger on her lips. “I don’t like it any more than you do, but there’s no way of destroying one without destroying the other. The most we could do is …” He hesitated, and she could see how distasteful this was for him. “We could catch him and force-feed him a modern psychotropic drug. It’s one of the only ways a Blending can be prevented and the only way it can be reversed. Modern mental health meds act like a trap, numbing the Bodywalker inside from being able to access the host’s mind and body. It’s like a paralysis. We can see and hear everything, but can’t so much as move a muscle.”

  “That sounds horrible,” she said, disgust over the whole situation climbing up from her belly and into her throat. She swallowed when the urge to throw up swam over her. “But it also sounds like the perfect prison for Chatha. If we can retrieve Andy, keep him here under our control, he could return himself to normal.”

  “Only, he’s been trapped all this time … seeing and hearing, a witness to heinous acts and crimes. It could be there’s nothing left of the original’s psyche after all of that,” Jackson said.

  “Well, it’s at least something to try,” she snapped at him, reaching a level of frustration that couldn’t be contained. “God! Why can’t you people just stay in that Ether of yours and just leave us alone!”

  She watched Jackson’s entire demeanor change, his jaw clenching as he obviously bit back a sharp retort. Instead he took a breath in slowly to calm himself a little. “Some of us would,” he said tightly. “But that existence, that never-ending numbness, can drive a soul mad. We may be incorporeal, but still have all our human urges. To live, to laugh, to love. What right do you have to say we don’t deserve that? We should stay in purgatory indefinitely? Do you know what that to make me feel …H better’s like? Do you know what it’s like to love someone with everything that you are and be this close to them and unable to fucking touch them? No. Clearly you don’t. You don’t know a damn thing about it because you’re so afraid of losing your precious damn self-control that it’s completely starved you of any goddamn empathy.” He turned to Leo while she stood there with her mouth open in shock. “Sorry, Leo. I’ll come back later.”

  He brushed past her and left the room, slamming the door in his wake and making her wince.

  “Oh man, has he got it bad,” Leo drawled, moving to lean back against the headboard. She could tell he was wearing out. She knew she should let him rest, but that remark compelled her to stay.

  “What do you mean?” she asked warily, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

  “Seriously? How can you not see it? He’s more than a little crazy about you, Doc. He has been for a while.”

  “For … a-a while?” This was Jackson’s best friend. His confidant. If anyone would know anything personal about Jackson and his feelings on a subject it would most likely be this man. “You’re mistaken. He only just … it’s because he wants me to die or whatever and let his queen come and take me over,” she said with no small amount of bitterness entering her tone.

  “Yeah? And what about the past year when he’s been mooning over you from afar? Doesn’t that count? I mean sure, he never crossed the line … You know,” he added thoughtfully, “maybe it was more like a year and a half. Yeah. That’s it. You’ve been here two years, right?”

  “Well I—yes but I …” She nervously licked her lips. “Did he tell you that?”

  “Did he ever say it to me straight out? Not on your life. He’d have died first before admitting he wanted something he couldn’t have. Oh. Hey. There ya go,” he said, smirking at her. “He did die first before admitting to it.”

  Marissa blanched, the understanding making her heart race like she was on some kind of thrill ride. “Because,” she said a bit breathlessly, “we worked together.”

  “Yeah. And this is a small town with a small precinct. People talk. So Jacks kept his mouth shut and respected you enough to keep his hands to himself. But I guess all that doesn’t matter anymore.” Leo paused as he eyed the shirt she was wearing. Jackson’s shirt. “So I’m assuming he’s making up for lost time. Dead queen or no dead queen, you’re very special to him Marissa. If you weren’t he would have gone after you with all his barrels blazing. He would have taken you to bed, scratched his itch as it were, and be on his way shortly after. It’s what he’s done all of his life. Has been ever since his parents died anyway. He doesn’t like to get too close to people. He doesn’t want to cope with any more loss if it can at all be avoided.”

  Of course. Of course, her mind cried out, forcing her to resist the urge to smack her palm to her forehead. What the hell kind of a shrink are you, Marissa Anderson? It was one of the reasons why he had taken losing Chico so hard. And the reason why he’d gone ballistic when Docia had died. It must have just about killed him to walk into Leo’s place and see all to make me feel …H better that blood, thinking his best friend was most certainly dead. Christ, and all she’d been
doing was worrying about protecting herself.

  “You’re going to want to go after him now,” Leo prompted her.

  “Yes. Yes I am,” she said absently. “You rest and I’ll …” She didn’t finish because she was already hurrying after Jackson.

  In the bed, Leo chuckled. At least something good might come out of this, he thought. Leo wasn’t feeling so hot, but preferred not to get comfortable. The pain would keep him awake for a while. Maybe that would protect him from the nightmares he knew were going to come for him. It had happened in the war. It had happened three years back in Nicaragua. It most certainly would happen again.

  Damn.

  He would have killed for some cold hard Jack Daniel’s right about then.

  * * *

  Why is this house so damn big? she thought with frustration as she searched for Jackson. She didn’t find him in his room or the kitchen or the main living areas, and she wasn’t about to poke into rooms she didn’t belong in. It had been wrong of her to do so the first time. She had known that but she had let her temper get the best of her … just like she had done now.

  He was right. She did try to keep her emotions in check. She had thought it made her a better psychiatrist, more professional, able to see a bigger picture rather than getting mired down in the emotions of her patients. What it had done was completely desensitize her to anyone and everything save her sister. Maybe she would have noticed …

  “Jackson?” she called, venturing out onto the deck and the moonlit night. She didn’t know where the switch was, so she was hoping the moon would provide enough light to find him if he was there.

  “Nope. Too busty to be Jackson.”

  “Oh! I’m sorry,” she said to the woman sitting in the shadows.

  “Don’t be. You don’t have the same ability to see in the dark as we do,” Diahmond said. “There’s not much in the way of privacy in a house with this many people in it.”