Marilyn's Ghost

by Lorena Franco

  “Okay, Pam. It seems coherent to me after everything.”

  “Great, we agree on something.”

  Marilyn shrugged her shoulders and sat on the dressing room sofa. Pam smiled, putting her bad mood aside when she saw her makeup artist arrive. Once more, she would help her put herself in the experienced character of Catherine.

  When she exited the dressing room and headed to the set, she ran into Richard who was speaking amicably with Adam, already in character as Edward. When she got to them, she kissed Adam on the lips, which Richard was not expecting. And he did not seem to take it badly, on the contrary.

  “So you two…” the agent started saying, smiling satisfied.

  “Yes, we’re a couple,” Adam announced happily.

  Pam however, looked at Richard with annoyance. She thought it would make him uncomfortable. She really did. But she was wrong. Her agent was as happy as Karl to see the two main actors of Story of Two Souls were in love. Of course, that sold. It sold a lot. And the rest did not matter. Pam could not hide her fury and left to get a coffee in the catering area. What Pam did not know, was that Richard was a born-actor and he had learnt to hide pain well. Even so, he kept talking to Adam as if everything were fine, while Pam had a coffee with her ghost.

  “I mean, it bothers you that it doesn’t bother you… You’re not in love with Adam, Pam. You’re lying to yourself, my dear,” Marilyn said without waiting for an answer. Pam looked at her fixedly whilst making a discreet movement to show that she was not right. “Of course I’m right, but time will tell. Anyway, now focus on your work. Love is a terrible distraction, my dear.”

  Pam nodded and went to talk to Karl, who was focused on one of the monitors, checking that there were no errors in the backgrounds.

  “How is my favorite actress?” he greeted her, giving her a hug like the ones he used to give to Marion Cotillard.

  “Very well, a little more rested,” Pam answered, winking. This was something she had learnt from the inimitable Marilyn, who was still next to the coffee machine watching Richard.

  The day happened without any problems apart from him. Richard’s presence on the set made Pam uncomfortable and not even she knew why. “It’s something professional, purely professional,” she told herself to try to convince herself. And then there was Adam… So attentive and always so perfect…

  The hours passed quickly in the Warner studio where the rhythm continued to be as frenetic as Marilyn and Pam remembered from the days of filming Toward the Light. The commodities of a studio, not having to worry about pedestrians looking at the camera distractedly or weather issues made the job easy and they got straight to it. Even so, they finished filming very late and the only thing that appealed to the actors was to go to their respective homes, lay in their respective beds and sleep, sleep until the alarm rang scandalously and provocatively at five in the morning. It was that way for weeks.

  Applause. Laughs. Sighs. Tears. More laughter. And fits of laughter. And many hugs. That was how the filming of the movie Story of Two Souls ended and Karl still had a few months ahead of him to finished preparing one of the films he was most proud of. It was all thanks to those two young actors he had trusted and who had given themselves body and soul to the project.

  “Guys, I promised you the result would be as spectacular as you were,” he announced emotionally. “And I’m happy about your relationship. You were made for one another, I see,” he told them even more emotionally. “I’m going to be locked up for a few months with the production, editing, soundtrack… but when you least expect it, you’ll get a call from me and we’ll see each other again,” he promised, giving each of the young actors a warm hug.

  Adam and Pam remained alone in the company of their two ghosts. Marilyn wanted to go home and for Pam to have time to keep watching Will Smith movies with her. Paul Newman, for his part, was afraid of the moment the young Adam would get bored at home and start drilling his ghostly head.

  “Well, this journey ends here,” Adam said sadly. “I would have liked to keep filming this movie with you my whole life. You are the most special thing that has ever happened to me, Pam.”

  “More than Hollywood?”

  “Much more. I want to be with you, Pam.”

  “And I, you, Adam.”

  “Would it be too fast to move in together?”

  Marilyn’s jaw dropped. Paul Newman rolled his eyes, terrified. Marilyn’s mouth was still open. Pam looked at her ghost and knew immediately what her answer would be.

  “It’s a bit rushed, Adam. Let’s continue as we are now, okay?”

  “Okay,” the handsome actor agreed.

  Marilyn sighed in relief and smiled at Pam, who couldn’t imagine sharing her house with someone who was not the blonde diva.

  “I’m glad you told him no,” Marilyn said, sat next to Pam beneath the willow tree.

  “Adam is great but he can be a bit insane,” Pam admitted, laughing.

  “Would you marry him?”

  “Marilyn! What kind of a question is that? I’m not even twenty-five, I’m not thinking about those things yet.”

  “By twenty-five I had been married a few times,” the diva giggled. “I imagine it was another era, right? But are you in love?”

  “Yes, of course yes,” Pam answered without sounding too convincing.

  “So enjoy the moment. But don’t loose focus. Now is the time to show the world that you are a star. Walk strongly on sets and carpets.”

  “And this is where I must continue to play a character?” Pam asked, undecided.

  “As I have always told you, do not loose your essence, Pam. But yes, in a certain way, you must play a happy and forever smiling character. Nice to everyone and helpful. so that you are adored, so that you are loved. Even so, when you come home, be yourself. Always. And don’t let yourself be manipulated by anyone.”

  “It seems like you’re speaking from experience.”

  “You already know I am, Pam. You know I am.”

  CHAPTER 15

  I’M SELFISH, IMPATIENT AND A

  LITTLE INSECURE. I MAKE MISTAKES,

  I’M OUT OF CONTROL AND AT TIMES

  HARD TO HANDLE. BUT IF YOU CAN’T

  HANDLE ME AT MY WORST,

  THEN YOU SURE AS HELL DON’T

  DESERVE ME AT MY BEST.

  (Marilyn Monroe)

  Life went on for Pam and her ghost, their diary full of parties, important events, charity dinners and what most scared the young actress, interviews on dazzling sets which she was already used to and was managing it stupendously, as if she had done it her whole life. Richard and Pam’s publicist organized her agenda, and even though the actress felt like a puppet at some point, she knew she could not complain because all of this was part of her most wished-for dream.

  There were only a few days left before the film Toward the Light would be shown in cinemas around the world. The trailer had already been a sensation and Pam could could hardly leave home without been followed by the paparazzi or admirers. Richard seemed like a constant bodyguard while Adam seemed to have become the love of her life, day after day. It annoyed Marilyn greatly that the young and attractive actor stayed over with Pam who was busier and busier and did not seem to not have time to give her the attention of before. Although the diva’s ghost felt left out at some point, she was still there with her sweet. She gave advice although in certain areas she no longer needed her guidance. Makeup artists and stylists came to the young actress’ house to prepare her for every engagement that came up and it was clear that Marilyn was of an era very different to current fashions.

  “I’ve certainly never had my hair put up like that,” Marilyn told her one day when Pam had an interview with BBC Entertainment and her hair was pulled up in a high bun.

  “You don’t like it?”

  “You look gorgeous but those bangs are too rebel for the elegant dress you’re wearing… I don’t know, I don’t know… They know what’s best.”

  Pam would
travel to New York for the screening of Toward the Light. She would also go to the Los Angeles screening, but because she had a secondary character, she would not travel to Europe for the rest of the screenings like the main character Marion Cotillard would. Although it irked her a little, she would rather it be this way because her agenda was already quite full. And that overwhelmed her a little.

  “Marilyn, I have a weight on my shoulders,” Pam admitted the evening before the screening of her first film. “It’s an awful anxiety,” she continued, putting her head in her heads.

  “Girl, you and your stress… Eat chocolate and vanilla ice-cream, form one of those huge tubs they sell in the supermarket,” Marilyn answered with a malicious smile. “I liked it…”

  “I can’t even go into a supermarket anymore…” Pam complained.

  “Dear, do you know what day it is today?” Pam shook her head. “It’s out first anniversary! We met a year ago today.”

  Pam began to cry, so did Marilyn. They sobbed next to a candle and Marilyn sang her unmistakable Happy Birthday sensually, as if she were once again in front of John F. Kennedy. But instead of saying Mr. President, she thought of saying Miss Star, causing indescribable emotion in Pam.

  “Now you are a star, Pam. Shine always like you do now, dear,” Marilyn wished, smiling sweetly.

  Pam went to the screening of Toward the Light with Adam. The couple was cheered by all those present, even more than Marion Cotillard. Adam and Pam turned out to be an attractive couple that attracted attention and could presume to have thousands of followers worldwide. The couple could not believe the moment they were living. Karl stayed with them at every moment and told them that the movie Story of Two Souls was a masterpiece they were continuing to work on to finalize in a few months.

  Marilyn and Paul Newman saw the film Toward the Light from the back of their cinema room where all those present were immersed in the imaginative story.

  “Marilyn, remember that you promised Pam you would leave when she won an Oscar?” Paul asked, smiling. “I promised Adam I would leave when his first film was screened.”

  “You mean that…”

  “I’m leaving, dear Marilyn. My time has come and Saint Peter is waiting for me wth open arms,” Paul answered, satisfied with this mission accomplished.

  “Paul, I’ll miss you.”

  “We’ll see each other soon, blondie. I’ll be waiting with a Dom Perignon in paradise,” old Paul Newman told her with a wink.

  “Thanks, Paul.”

  Paul walked slowly towards the large screen of the cinema room, at the moment in which Adam appeared onscreen, playing a sad beggar with powers in his hands. Paul Newman starred at his actor shining on the big screen as he had always dreamed and disappeared behind a light that only Marilyn and he could see. Marilyn’s ghost cried silently, and knew that her moment would also soon come.

  After the screening of the film Toward the Light many more screenings came. The romantic comedy Moments she had participated in with Robert Pattinson, who was nicer and more attentive to Pam and all her comedies full of famous stars that the young actress had also starred in. Elegant dresses, extremely expensive jewels, perfect makeup and hair that would be imitated by hundreds youngsters. That was Pam’s life. But when she got home, she sighed with relief and became herself again, without losing her essence just as Marilyn had recommended.

  “Rest… Your life is getting exhausting. And I’m losing strength,” Marilyn told her.

  “Are you okay?” Pam asked, worried.

  “The important thing is that you are okay. I have already told you that I won’t leave you until you win an Oscar,” Marilyn answered, thinking that her friend Paul Newman was waiting for her in paradise with a glass of Dom Perignon. If Newman had something, it was that he always did as he promised.

  “I’m still overwhelmed, Marilyn. On the one hand I’d love everything to be like before, when I wasn’t sure how to make ends meet at the end of the month, working in a hamburger restaurant and listening to my parents telling me I would never achieve anything. At least I could leave the house without being stopped every two minutes.”

  “Don’t start with that, Pam. It was what you wanted a year ago, it was your dream. How often do dreams come true, Pam?”

  “Not often.”

  “Look, one of your dreams is close to coming true,” Marilyn told her, looking through the window.

  Richard came with good news, as always. Pam would start in a new romantic comedy alongside a well-known actor. Her career was becoming unstoppable and everyone wanted to work with her.

  “That’s stupendous,” Pam smiled, offering her agent a lemonade.

  “And speaking of more personal things,” Richard murmured whilst Pam and Marilyn looked on expectantly. “I’m getting married,” he continued in a serious voice.

  Marilyn and Pam, surprised, shrieked a little at the same time. Pam was not sure if she should dive into the pool and disappear or hug her agent and congratulate him sincerely. Richard was marrying one of those models that constantly went to his house. Finally, one of them had made him come to his senses and realize that aged thirty-one, it was time to have a more stable life than he had up until now, sentimentally speaking. And although he still saw Pam in a different way than he would have liked, the cordial and increasingly professional relation that existed between the two of them, pushed him to take the decision to get engaged with Steff. Adam also had a lot to do with it. He saw him more and more at Pam’s house. The press spoke of them as the it-couple and celebrity gossip shows predicted a long and happy future for them.

  “That’s… that’s great, Richard! Congratulations,” Pam said, finally.

  “Yes, I’m very happy. Of course you’re invited to the wedding,” Richard told her solemnly.

  But what Pam wanted least of all was to go to the wedding of the person she had felt so much for, for whom she perhaps still felt.

  That night, Adam and Pam went out to dinner together. Pam spoke to him about the new project she had at hand.

  “A romantic comedy. That’s great, Pam! I’ve been offered an action movie,” Adam said happily. “I’m going to have to crush it in the gym because I will have to be on par will Vin Diesel…”

  “It’s with Vin Diesel?”

  “It is.”

  “Congratulations!” Pam exclaimed, happy for her boyfriend.

  Everything seemed perfect between them. Of course, the following day they saw photos of themselves dining and walking through Los Angeles in almost all the celebrity papers. But they were now used to being watched and spied on constantly. It sufficed to know how to behave at all times and to not do silly things that could compromise them and hurt their image for their admirers or their chances for future projects that would not work with problematic actors. They continued to attend to the best ceremonies, parties and screenings. And more screenings… and finally, they got a call from Karl telling them the production of “Story of Two Souls” had finished and that there would be a private screening for the team.

  They were all moved by the beautiful love story of the film. In combination with a teary and incredible soundtrack, the whole team was very satisfied with the work they had accomplished over the course of those marvelous and unforgettable eight months of shooting between Rome and Los Angeles. And of course it was something special for Adam and Pam… it was the project that had brought them together. It was painful though for Adam to not have his ghost at his side. Paul Newman would never see his great acting in Story of Two Souls because it seemed he was in a hurry to head on up… However Marilyn could live the story from the obscurity of the theater, hidden in the shadows. Pam glanced at her from time to time to watch her face. She could see many tears falling down the cheeks of Marilyn’s ghost. Emotion, smiles, it all shined in her droopy eyes. It moved her and Marilyn loved Story of Two Souls. Will Smith had been moved back to second place so that Pam Miller could become the favorite actor of the diva nicknamed the “blonde bombshell.” />
  “Pam, it’s a wonderful film and you were marvelous. Really, I’m so proud of you, and when you say you wouldn’t know what to do without me, well, I think you already do my dear. You are going to know how to get a move on for yourself and that everything you have achieved has been due to your own talent. Right from that audition in which you shone, you have shown you are a star,” Marilyn told her back at home.

  “Don’t remind me that one day you will leave my side, blonde bombshell. You still have so much to teach me.”

  “No, I have no more to teach you. My mission is coming to an end, sweetie…”

  Pam didn’t want to admit it, but her “blonde bombshell” was lacking strength. She no longer had her initial momentum to get Pam moving and begin a shining professional trajectory. It was as if her spirit was fading away at moments, as if her time on earth, after having wandered for over fifty years, was finally coming to an end.

  Pam did not love seeing how Richard was going to the altar with Steff, a stunning model of thirty-something. The marriage was large, ostentatious and she had to admit, unforgettable and dazzling. Marilyn preferred to avoid it to not see how it broke Pam’s heart into little pieces, although she managed to hide it well from Adam’s hand.

  Two days later, the moment of the screening arrived and the world tour of the movie “Story of Two Souls”. They were not wrong. That Adam Williams and Pam Miller were also a couple in real life provoked unheard of expectations and the film was one of the most popular of that year, becoming a romantic drama that women of the whole world fell in love with. And so did men.

  Pam travelled with Adam and her inseparable ghost to present the movie in cities across the globe: London, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Berlin, Mexico City, New York, San Francisco and even cities in Japan. The three weeks of promotion, interviews and traveling from one place to another left the young actress exhausted and weak. But even so, she smiled, smiled and blew kisses to all her fans just as Marilyn had recommended. Pam was loved. She was always nice, without loosing her essence, without loosing herself. She knew that if someday she was lost, she would just have to go back to Gettysburg to breathe easy for a while with her parents.