by Xavier Neal
“Madden McCoy,” she scolds.
“Sorry,” a sheepish apology immediately escapes. “I just...are you okay?” Moving towards her, my eyes glance around the room looking for evidence of The Devil still being close by. “Is everything okay?”
“I'm fine,” she insists. Grandma Maggie pats the bed beside her chair. “Sit.”
With a nod I do as I'm told.
Hold all bullshit jokes to yourself. Grandma Maggie is an extended member of the family to me. Triple D and Merrick knew Aunt Kelli and Uncle D to step in for our parents, but Grandma Maggie was there too. Before my brothers were old enough to invade everything I did, she would pick the two of us up from school and take us for ice cream. She'd bring Knox over no matter where we moved to hang out with us. When Knox moved into the apartment with us, Maggie made me make two promises. The first being to always remind her granddaughter to come visit. She didn't need my help in that department, but I agreed. The other was that I had to come visit at least once a week. This was long before we had to move her into this place. I've kept up my end of the deal. I don't make promises I won't keep.
Grandma Maggie puts down the book she was reading before I interrupted. “You taking good care of our girl?”
“As best as she'll let me,” I retort. “You know, Knox.”
“Girl is as stubborn as the day she was born. Her mother was in labor for twenty-three hours. I knew then anything involving her would be like trying to move a boulder. When she was five she wore the same t-shirt every day for two straight weeks. Never mind the fact I hid it in various places to try to prevent that.”
I smirk and fold my hands together. “It was pink. With big white polka dots and a matching white bow in the back.”
Oh yeah. I remember. I made some little shit eat dirt for trying to make fun of her. Damn right I cared that much about her even then.
“It was,” Maggie sighs. “Anyway this isn't your usual day. Is everything alright?”
“I have to ask you something,” I start slowly.
“If it's for Knox's hand in marriage, the answer is the same as it was when you were nine. Yes.”
Okay. So fucking shoot me. I wanted to marry her before my life fell to shit. You think my brothers are the only ones who ever wanted what my parents had? I remember what it was like before they were born. I remember how engulfed they were with one another before more McCoys started popping out and even after. I wanted that. Part of me somewhere deep down still does. I'm just not fucking stupid enough to believe I'm gonna actually get it. How can I even compete with pretty boys like the dick who drove up this afternoon? Hell, I apparently couldn't even beat out Asher all those years ago for her. Yeah. That news still fucking burns.
Pulling out my phone, I flash her the photo of The Devil. “Did this man approach you today?”
She leans over. “He did. He offered me a dance in the ballroom. A little handsy. Nothing to be too worried about.”
Bile rises in my throat. “Did he say anything to you?”
“Complimented my sweater and thanked me for the dance. Said he was Lucy's grandson's best friend. You know Lucy.”
There is no Lucy. At least not here. Lucy was a neighbor they had when I was seven. They haven't seen or talked about her for over twenty years. She's actually one of the people Grandma Maggie swears she talks to every day when her mind taps out. It means he played on her weakness. Even worse it means he knows what it is.
Another wave of discomfort rolls over me. I offer her a smile with a nod.
“You wanna explain how you know him?”
I hesitate, “Not really.”
Grandma Maggie leans back in her chair. “Should I be worried?”
The woman isn't a saint. Looks it. Sounds like it. But she's not. More importantly she's well aware that neither am I. I've always kept the illegal business out of her face, and she's always only chosen to see the man I wanna present, not the one I have to be. Not the one who got her granddaughter tangled with Drug Lords or his family killed.
“But if you see him again, report him. I'm gonna talk to the front about how he made it past security.”
“Madden, he's Lucy's grandson's cousin.”
See. Her disease must be having a time with her today.
“Right. But I'm just going to make sure he doesn't bother you again. Just trust me Grandma Maggie. He's not a good man.”
“But Lucy-”
“Even Lucy thinks he is, okay?” Suddenly a little bit of fear rises on her face. I place a hand on hers. “I'll never let anything happen to you.” She delivers a stern look. “Or Knox. Definitely never Knox either. My word.”
When she smiles widely, I let out a long sigh.
At least I haven't let her down yet.
With a gentle pat on my hand she assures, “You're a good man, Madden. When will you see that?”
When it becomes a fact and not an opinion.
A wave of quietness fills the air for only a brief moment. “You want a cookie?”
I give her a quick nod. “Oh yeah. I need one after a day like today.”
She stands and slowly moves her body towards the other side of the room. “What happened today?”
A confession regarding your granddaughter fucking my old best friend came out on the same day her ex....whatever showed up too. Ideal after professing I wanna have kids with her some goddamn day. The timing of all of that is fucked up, don't you agree?
Sternly she says, “Madden.”
“Uh...” my mind stumbles with a polite way to answer.
“Out with it.”
Curious if she remembers anything about the tryst, I ask, “Do you ever remember Knox hanging with this guy named Asher?”
When she turns around with her cookie tin she shakes her head.
“He was a little shorter than me. Blonde. Blue eyes. Looked like Hitler's wet dream of Nazi perfection.”
Not jealous...
“Madden,” she sighs. “The only guy I ever remember my granddaughter hanging around or even talking about is you. Almost three decades of you.”
I let out a sigh.
Shut up. I know I'm being childish.
“Now, chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin.”
“Do you even have to ask?”
Oatmeal raisin. Always.
After changing the discussion to hear about the rest of Grandma Maggie's day, I exit, rip the front desk a new asshole about the breach of protocol and head back to my car with my phone pressed to my ear.
Two rings is all it takes before Butcher answers, “McCoy.”
“We have a problem.”
“The only problem I have right now McCoy can be solved with a pair of lips and my zipper down.” There's a female giggle in the background. “And it's about to be.”
Yanking my car door open I bite, “The Devil was spotted.”
There's a rustling before he questions, “Where?”
“Keep Living Retirement Center.”
“When?”
“A little over an hour ago,” I growl. “I thought you couldn't find him.”
“He hasn't been spotted.”
“Well he has now.” Hitting my head against the back of the seat I shut my eyes. “I need a member watching the facility around the clock.”
Butcher chuckles mockingly. “We don't work for you, asshole.”
“You get me 'round the clock eyes on the building insuring me he doesn't step foot inside and I'll get you those two prospects you need.”
Silence settles on the phone. In a lower tone he complains, “You fucking know I'm looking for prospects and are just now offering?”
“I don't play the cards in my hand until I need to.”
“Smart man.”
“I'm not alive by luck.”
Even if it feels like it at times.
“Get me two creditable prospects and you can have your round the clock security.”
“Done.”
Butcher states, “I don't want a pair of pussies
that have been sniffing around your nuts because they wanna be you when they grow a pair. I want two real warriors.”
“You'll have them.” Clearing my throat I bark, “I want that motherfucker found.”
“Send me the video feed. We'll see what we can do,” Butcher replies.
I hit the end button, forward the video and throw my cell phone against the passenger car door. My hands curl tightly around the steering wheel, the stress of the day’s events crippling my ability to breathe.
Why would I ever deserve happiness? I put everyone I love and care about in the direct line of danger. I told you Knox deserves better than this shit style life I would deliver. She deserves whatever apple pie, picket fence bullshit that cock sucking Lexus prick can deliver. Me on the other hand? The only thing I deserve is the bullet to the chest I'm probably gonna take seconds before I deliver one to his head.
Knox
I poke at the mashed potatoes on my plate while trying not to glare at Melody and Destin who are lovingly flirting at the table.
Do they have to do that around the food? I don't want my shit contaminated. What do you mean love is not contagious?
Destin moans beside me lost in the euphoria he's feeling from his meatballs.
To be fair they are good. Before Melody it was only me to cook for all the McCoys, but now we share the responsibility. More times than not, she wants to do it because it helps her pass the time being cooped up in the apartment. After years of slaving in front of a stove to keep them fed, I welcome the break.
The front door swings open grabbing all of our attention. Madden doesn't make eye contact as he tosses his keys on the kitchen counter. Instantly my heart drops into my empty nauseous stomach.
“Mad Man,” Destin calls to him. “You gotta have these sticky meatballs.”
Drew wiggles his eyebrows. “I know why my meatballs are gonna be sticky.”
“Bro,” Destin whines. “I'm eating.” His brother gives his a crooked look before he caves, extending his fist for a bump. “Yeah. It was a good one...”
Triple D at their finest ladies.
“Not hungry,” Madden states and continues towards his bedroom.
“Madden,” Drew shouts, which stops him. When he turns back around with his eyebrows lifted he says, “My girl made dinner. You should have something. You know, be polite.”
“If he's not hungry, he's not hungry,” Melody softly interjects.
“Oh he's hungry,” I inform her. “He's just pissed off and can't use his big boy words to say it.” Tossing my hair over my shoulder I snap at him, “Isn't that right, Madden?”
His stare lands on me. It heats mine until I'm forced to look away.
Never been more thankful looks can't kill or cause heat strokes.
“Why's he upset?” Melody whispers to Drew.
“Because Knox is a Fox,” her boyfriend replies with a vindictive smirk.
Helplessly I shriek, “Stop fucking saying that!”
“Why?” Madden growls. “Why is it alright for some fucking beach dick head to call you that, but your own family can't?”
“Well cause it's creepy,” Destin playfully mumbles receiving another fist bump from his brother.
I will bump their heads together before this night is over. I can feel it.
“He's also probably still a little pissed off to find out his best friend when we were in high school deflowered his girl,” Drew's addition causes Madden's footing to stumble.
Fuck me. How did he...how?!
“Wrench sang when you went away to lunch. Didn't take more than Mel's left over lasagna.” Drew kisses her cheek. “That shit was amazing.”
She thanks him with an innocent smile.
His growl is terrifying. “You fucking gave up your first time to my best friend?”
“Old best friend! We were like eighteen! It was forever ago! Are you really gonna give me shit about that-”
“Don't forget the Fox dude,” Destin helps his brother who doesn't need it.
“And that?” My fork flops onto the table. Standing up I move his direction. “How dare you be so fucking hypocritical!”
Calmly Madden questions, “Hypocritical?”
“Yeah genius! How dare you wanna fucking throw me over the coals for something I did when at that point in time you were just learning that burning rubber meant more than leaving tire marks on the ground? Better yet how dare you have the balls to stand in my face and throw a temper tantrum because some guy I used to fuck who I am now only friends with showed up without warning to get his car fixed! Not his dick touched! His car fixed! You don't get the right to piss and moan with the parade of tramps I've witnessed every morning for years! Years! You don't get to be a dick to me about it! So knock it off!”
That came out a little more polished than I thought it would've. Originally there were a lot more F bombs in there.
Unexpectedly, Madden takes a step towards me. “You wanna know why I'm pissed off?”
“I know why-”
“No you don't!” He bites so sharply I stumble backwards. “You're right, Knox. Every piece of ass I've nailed since we've lived in this apartment has walked right past you. You have watched every one of them walk out that fucking door. You think that it's because I didn't give a fuck about you, but you're wrong. I didn't give a fuck about them. I threw out the trash in front of you so you could see they would never mean a goddamn thing to me. I walked them past you, past the one woman in my life that fucking matters to me to remind them that I'll never be more than that one night fuck they had.”
That's oddly....sweet?
“I'm pissed Knox because I've never hid shit like that from you.”
“Omission is just a different form of lying.”
“Then congratulations for lying to my face two ways.” My mouth jumps open. “I've always been honest and up front because they didn't fucking mean anything. Whether we were thirteen, eighteen, twenty-six or even fucking now. I have NEVER fucking kept that shit a secret! But knowing you were keeping a friend says a lot more than you wanna fucking admit just like fucking my best friend all those years ago does. You were attached to both of them. They meant something more than mindless sex to you.” His voice drops down to a volume that lets me know how hurt he really is. “So don't look me in my fucking face and tell me I have no right to be a dick when it's you who betrayed me.”
Breathlessly I argue, “Betrayed is a strong word, Madden.”
He shrugs. “Is it?”
It is, right? Right?
His eyes move to the rest of the dinner party who is silent. “Not. Hungry.”
Madden turns around and walks off. When his bedroom door slams, I jump, the tears I don't plan on shedding clogging my throat.
So maybe, I didn't think about it like that. That doesn't mean I'm some cheating skank because I kept them a secret. It doesn't mean I don't love Madden as much as he loves me. The only thing it means is I was discreet. What do you mean why was I discreet? Because....because...Well...Because I didn't want anything to ruin the chance of someday possibly being together someday after the sun finally set. Why does it feel like now I have?
Madden
Strolling out into the kitchen, I tighten my belt. Surprised at the sight of Triple D leaning against the front door, I stop at the end of the hall.
This can't be good. These fuckers only wake up early for free food, sex, and emergencies.
I command, “Move.”
“No,” Drew denies.
“No?”
“No,” Destin repeats.
“I am in no mood, Triple D.” Folding my arms across my chest I grunt, “Fucking move. I need to get the shop open.”
“Wrench is opening the shop,” Drew announces. “And you're gonna stay in this apartment until you and Knox work this shit out.”
Apparently he fucked his brains out last night.
“No.”
Destin shakes his head. “You don't get to say no, Madden.”
Con
fused by the statement I lean my face forward. “Excuse me?”
“Look,” Drew starts. “In relationships-”
“Do not give me relationship advice,” I grouse.
“Too late,” Drew fights back. “You fucking need it. You and Knox have been doing this he loves me, he loves me not bullshit since we were kids and now that you're finally somehow at the same place, don't just throw that shit away because your goddamn feelings are hurt over some assholes she used to fuck.”