Worth a Thousand Words

by Stacy Adams

  “And you don’t think that includes Brian?” Indigo was almost afraid to hear her answer.

  Rachelle shook her head. “I’m not saying that it doesn’t, Indigo. Brian is a nice young man with a good heart and a great future. But sometimes rushing things can alter plans and hinder goals and get everybody involved off track. I hope that you and Brian do make it, and that you’ll have a wonderful life together. I just want to make sure that before you settle into being someone’s wife, you know who you are and exactly what you want to accomplish as an individual first.

  “I was wrong for not congratulating you after Brian’s announcement last night.” Rachelle leaned toward Indigo and covered Indigo’s hand with her own. “But last night took both Gabe and me back to the days when we made choices so we could fit in with our social circle or meet our families’ expectations, rather than because they made us whole individually and as a couple.

  “We talked about that with Tate and Taryn on the way home. Not because we wanted to put them in the middle of their parents’ relationship drama, but because we want them to understand how complicated life can get. The key is to keep prayer at the forefront of every decision. If God gives you a peace about the choices you’re making, then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, especially me.”

  Indigo sat back in the chair and folded her arms. “I guess I do need to pray about this. That’s the one thing I haven’t done.”

  Rachelle frowned. “You know better than to skip that,” she gently scolded. “Let me tell you this—don’t pray for God to make your marriage work or to change Brian’s heart about getting married right away or any of the things I already know you’re wrestling with. Pray that he sends you the husband he wants you to have, in the season you’re supposed to marry him, and that he gives you clarity about when to say ‘I do.’ Pray that he’ll give you peace when you’re making right choices and make you very uncomfortable inside when you’re headed down a dangerous path. If you ask him to do that, he will.

  “Sometimes the feelings will be subtle, but if you’re tuned in enough to God, you’ll know it’s him speaking through your circumstances.”

  Indigo frowned and held up her ring finger. “See this beautiful diamond? My heart leapt when Brian slid it on a few weeks ago. I felt excited and terrified. I felt special, but also . . . obligated? Do you know what I mean?”

  Rachelle nodded. She appeared lost in thought before she replied. “I know you’re tired of hearing my story, but I’ve been there,” she said. “Listen to your feelings. Honor how God is trying to speak to you.”

  Indigo sat back in the chair and closed her eyes.

  She retreated in her mind to the night before and how she felt when Brian persuaded her to set a date for their wedding in August. First the dread, then the need to please by appearing exuberant, then the fear of saying “not right now.”

  His angular, deep brown face and megawatt smiled filled her mental picture box. She dwelled on how safe and happy she felt whenever she was wrapped in his arms, and suddenly, the mild tension that threatened to overtake her dissipated.

  What would she lose by becoming his wife now, when he was clearly ready to jump the broom? A chance to shoot photos for some of the nation’s top magazines and for galleries that bought fine art images? It was more, she realized. She’d be giving up, or at least altering, a longtime dream of doing things that had become as important to her as breathing.

  What would she lose by insisting on a long engagement? The adoration of a good man who wanted to celebrate and support her? There was no guarantee that he would wait, or that she’d find this kind of love in another relationship.

  Indigo opened her eyes and stared into Rachelle’s. She hadn’t budged from the edge of the desk, and she was still eyeing Indigo.

  “I know,” Rachelle said. “I don’t have any answers, but I’m praying for God to give you clarity, sooner rather than later.”

  10

  Brian made a controlled, swift swing and hit the tiny white ball at just the right angle. He held his breath and watched the arc of its travel.

  Yes!

  Another eagle.

  He looked at his father, sitting in the golf cart, and grinned.

  “Ready for another round or do you need a break, old man?”

  Otis Harper grinned and rested a hand on his protruding belly.

  “Fishing is my thing. I’ll never beat you in golf, Son,” he said. “I just enjoy watching you show off. Now that you’ve done that a few times today, let’s go and get something to eat.”

  Brian laughed. “I’ll gather my equipment so we can get outta here.”

  Twenty minutes later, father and son were sharing a platter of ribs and coleslaw at the legendary Stubb’s Restaurant, in Austin’s Red River district. Since it was summer, few college students bustled about, but there were enough locals and tourists to keep the area thriving. Because it was a prestigious college town, the city was quite cosmopolitan, especially compared to Jubilant.

  Though Jubilant was a student hub too, the small, private Everson College boasted an enrollment of just four thousand. The demographics of Everson’s student body and faculty were similar to Tuskegee’s, and Brian had often teased Indigo about leaving her hometown to spend four years in its twin environment.

  Today, Brian was appreciating his Texas roots and the accompanying Southern hospitality. The leggy waitress set another platter of coleslaw in the center of the table and refilled both men’s glasses with sweet tea.

  She straightened her skirt, patted her cornrows, and smiled at Brian.

  “Remember, if you need anything else, my name is Anita.”

  She waited for a response.

  Brian’s dad cleared his throat. “Thank you, Anita,” he said, his gravelly bass echoing in their corner of the restaurant. “This is fine for now.”

  When she disappeared around a corner, he sat back in his chair and stared at Brian, who continued to wolf down his food.

  “I used to pull ’em like that too,” he said.

  Brian tried to laugh and choked mid-bite. He took a swig of tea to quell his coughing, then finished chewing.

  “Alright, Daddy,” Brian said. “There you go as usual, telling me too much of your business. I don’t want to get you in trouble with Mom.”

  His father laughed. “She knows how I got her—it wouldn’t be a surprise. She wasn’t an easy catch.”

  Brian raised his eyes. He thought about the ambivalence Indigo had been trying to hide since the day he proposed. “Really? How did you two work it out?”

  His dad leaned forward and popped a piece of corn muffin in his mouth. “I ain’t gone tell you all my secrets, but I’ll tell you this—one fine, loyal woman who has a good head on her shoulders and a good heart is worth her weight in gold, compared to hundreds of gorgeous women looking for a man to take care of all their needs. I realized that your mama was going to be my partner as well as my lover and my friend, and when we got involved in church, I saw that she was going to serve God with me too. I couldn’t beat that with a stick. She held out for a while to make sure I was her best catch, but I made sure she knew I was.”

  Brian took it all in and gazed out of the restaurant’s palladium windows. Hadn’t he done all of that with Indigo? He looked at his father.

  “Indigo has passed all of those tests, but I think she’s trying to go to grad school before we get married. I’m not so sure about waiting.”

  His dad grabbed a toothpick from the holder in the center of the table and began working it through his teeth. “Can’t she go to school or find work wherever you’re stationed? They need good photographers everywhere.

  “A man of your stature, doing the great things you’re going to be doing as a commissioned officer and Navy pilot, needs to be in a stable relationship so you don’t get off track. Plus, it will look good to your commanding officers if you’re settled. You’ll be one of the first men they turn to for the plum assignments because they’ll
know you’re dependable.”

  He hadn’t been a fighter pilot, but Otis Harper had served in the Navy for twenty years before retiring to Austin with his family to open a carpet supply business. He had ranked high during his years of service and was discharged with honors.

  “When are you thinking you’ll tie the knot? After your twelve weeks of training?”

  “We talked about that when I visited a few days ago, and she agreed,” Brian said. “Now she’s changed her mind and has started asking about a long-distance marriage or engagement.”

  Brian shrugged. If he had his way, they would elope tomorrow, so they’d have a few days together before he left for Rhode Island. He pulled himself out of his reverie and looked at his dad.

  “She’s in the middle of her photography internship at the newspaper right now, and when that’s finished, she’ll be heading to New York for grad school. I don’t know when I’ll be able to pin her down.”

  “She’s a great girl, but you sure she’s the one? You and Shelby seem to talk quite often. Sure there’s nothing there anymore?”

  Brian sat back in his seat and ran his hand over his low-cut hair. “Come on, Dad. You know Indigo and Shelby are best friends. What would that look like?”

  His dad shrugged. “I’m just checking. You two basically grew up together at Grace Temple. She’s going to Officer Candidate School with you. Could be that you and she have feelings for each other, despite her friendship with Indigo. Happens all the time.” Brian was used to his dad nudging and trying to direct his path, but today Dad was getting the best of him. He tried to keep his cool.

  “Naw, Dad, it’s not like that,” Brian said. “I’m not messing around on Indigo with her best friend. If anything, I’m trying to get Shelby to talk Indigo into a wedding sooner rather than later. If Indie has her way, we’re looking at a two-year engagement. I’m not feeling that.”

  But sometimes Shelby understood him better than Indigo, or better than he understood himself. She was just a friend, yet today, she must have telepathy.

  His cell phone rang and her number appeared on the caller ID screen. Brian warily eyed his father.

  “I was just thinking about you,” he told Shelby when he answered.

  “You and every other man I know,” she quipped. “Just checking in to see what time you’re planning to arrive in Rhode Island. I’ll get there with my folks on Saturday evening. I thought we might be able to have dinner with each other and with our parents, before the four of them leave.”

  Brian felt his father watching him and lowered his head and his voice. “I don’t know about that.” After the comment Dad had just made, he didn’t want to stir the pot.

  “Your folks are there with you now and you can’t talk, right?”

  Shelby was good. “Call me later,” he said.

  “You and Indigo settled on a date yet?” she asked.

  Now he was annoyed. She was posing another question she already could answer.

  “Only if you’ve urged her to. Help a brother out, okay?”

  Shelby’s minute-long pause seemed like an eternity. “You just do the right thing, Brian—by you and her.”

  He shifted in his seat. “Gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

  Otis Harper eyed his son and picked up another toothpick.

  “I’m not telling you whom to marry, Son, I’m just saying follow your heart.”

  11

  Indigo stood in the foyer of St. Peter’s Baptist Church, waiting for devotions to end so she and Brian could enter. She reached for his hand and tucked her palm in his.

  She loved this man, and she was going to miss him. They had dated for three years in college and had seen each other just about every day until last year, when the company he worked for had relocated his job from Tuskegee to Dallas.

  Tonight he and his parents would fly to Rhode Island, and tomorrow he’d officially begin Officer Candidate School, or OCS as he always called it. She was excited for him, but she was also nervous about what this meant for their future.

  She wore his ring and knew she had his heart, but she also knew he was human, and if she weren’t there every day, things could change. Was he afraid of the same thing? Was that why he was clamoring to get married right away?

  As things stood today, they were planning to tie the knot in this sanctuary on August 25. That date gave her some bargaining room to win him over. If Brian relented and agreed, she could still become his wife and show up for grad school a week later.

  The ushers opened the doors of the church just as the choir launched into the beginning strains of her mother’s favorite song these days. Deacon Kevin Bonner lifted the microphone from a stand near the edge of the choir loft and cradled it close to his lips.

  “Never would have made it, never could have made it, without you . . .”

  Indigo spotted Yasmin sitting on the last pew with several of her friends. Years ago, when Mama’s struggle with alcohol made headlines in the Herald, some of those same girls and their parents had shunned her baby sister. The fact that Yasmin had moved on, and that she herself still considered this church a haven, was a testament to God’s ability to heal and her parents’ humble example of how to forgive.

  An usher led her and Brian toward the front of the sanctuary to two seats next to Mama and Daddy.

  Indigo’s parents smiled when she and Brian paused at their row and slid into the pew. Indigo saw tears in Mama’s eyes and squeezed her hand. This song made Mama weep every time she heard it. Marvin Sapp’s lyrics were a perfect testimony for her. Since joining Alcoholics Anonymous seven years ago and admitting her dependence on vodka, she had reclaimed her life. She received help for the hip injury she had once coped with by drinking and now shared her story with others as often as possible, to free them from whatever problem served as their prison. She was stronger. She was wiser. She was a better wife, mother, and person than she’d ever been.

  Indigo decided in this moment that if her mother could make it through those difficult days, she too could do anything. She could use this gift of photography in fulfilling ways, and she could be a good wife.

  She reached for Brian’s hand again. “We’re going to make it, okay?” she whispered in his ear.

  He grinned at her and nodded. She wanted to stroke his goatee or hug his shoulders but instead turned her attention where it belonged, focused on God and this worship service.

  It was great to be here this morning with both of her parents, who had been taking turns coming so someone would always be home with Aunt Melba. Rachelle and Gabe had come by the house this morning to keep Melba company so Irene and Charles could attend service together.

  The choir rendered another selection, this time an Israel and New Breed praise and worship song, and Indigo stood to her feet to give thanks for the path her life was taking, as well as Brian’s.

  Then Pastor Taylor approached the podium and opened his Bible to Matthew 11:30. He read the Scripture before walking away from the lectern to stroll back and forth across the raised landing, clutching a wireless mic.

  “I can almost guarantee that every single person in this place woke up this morning and asked God to do something for you today. Maybe it was something simple, like help with finding a good spot in the church parking lot this morning. Or maybe you asked him for something big, like to heal your body from cancer or some other chronic disease. Or maybe your request was somewhere in between the minor and the life-changing. Whatever it was, I can also guarantee you that God heard it.”

  He paused for effect and surveyed the crowd. “Yep, he heard it. The question is, were you asking from a place of integrity, a place of peace, a place of trust? Did you really give it over to God so he could take care of your request, or did you ask for his help while continuing to brainstorm your own solutions?”

  Silence enveloped a sanctuary that moments before had been filled with boisterous musical praise.

  “You see, most of us want it both ways,” Pastor Taylor said. He spoke slo
wly and thoughtfully, as if addressing a roomful of timid kindergartners. “We want God to fix things or grant our desires, but we want him to do it in the way that we think is best. We want the answer now, in the fashion that we’ve decided would be perfect. Am I telling the truth up in here?”

  He seemed oblivious to the chorus of amens and mopped his face with a handkerchief. “God wants you to ask and then release it. Ask him, then trust him. When you step out of the way, he will fix whatever is troubling your soul.”

  Indigo glanced at Brian. His eyes were glued to Pastor Taylor, but it was clear that he hadn’t heard a word. He sat as if transfixed, wringing his hands.

  She touched his arm and leaned toward his ear. “Wake up, babe.”

  Brian squirmed and gave her an awkward smile before turning his attention to the pastor. Why did he seem uncomfortable? Was he upset that she had been stalling on a wedding date? Was he nervous about leaving for Navy training? Indigo couldn’t recall having ever seen him in this kind of mood before.

  Indigo returned her focus to Pastor Taylor. She didn’t hear the rest of the sermon, though. Instead, she talked to the Lord herself.

  God, please let me hear from you about what to do. If you want me to marry Brian now instead of going to graduate school, let me know. You know I want to be a professional photographer. You know I want to work for magazines and in other mediums. Am I wrong to pursue these dreams when the man I love has other ideas? Please tell me what to do. Or better yet, God, can you just fix it? Pastor Taylor says you can. Make this work out so Brian and I both can be happy, okay? Amen.

  In the movies, the answer would be revealed right about now.

  Indigo’s heart sank when she realized God wasn’t going to tell her what to do before church service ended. The one thing she did know was that she couldn’t hang up her camera to please her fiancé.

  She was going to have to wait, and like Rachelle had already told her, listen like never before.

  12