Strange Animals

by Chad Kultgen

  Although he was now absolutely certain his purpose in God’s plan was not only to find Karen Holloway but also certainly to stop her from delivering her child into the world, James felt he was growing closer to knowing how he would be called to do that. He was convinced that it would be through testifying to Karen Holloway, showing her the true power of the Holy Spirit and ultimately converting her to Christianity. Once converted, she would see how she’d been manipulated by Satan and seek to have the child baptized, at which time the satanic spirit that dwelled within it would be destroyed. But he wasn’t sure why he had not yet found his opportunity. He waited for signs from God, and he knew they were right in front of him, but Satan was obscuring them. His task was difficult, but he would remain vigilant.

  As he turned a corner with his vacuum cleaner into the first room off the hallway, he entered a room full of file cabinets. James saw that one of the drawers near the bottom of one of the file cabinets had been left ajar. As he bent down to slide it shut, he noticed that the drawer contained patient medical records. He knew this was no coincidence, and he checked the other drawers. They were all unlocked. This was another sacred boon from God. This was the result of God’s own hand. He took a brief moment to wonder if God himself had been in that room only seconds ago, and then he wasted no more time searching through the cabinets for Karen Holloway’s information. He wasn’t sure that she was even a patient at this specific doctor’s office, but he thought it was very likely that she was, or God wouldn’t have sent him there, wouldn’t have guided him into that room, wouldn’t have left that one drawer open and the rest unlocked. He vowed to God that if he was able to find her records, he would take it as an undisputable sign that he was brought to Los Angeles to stop her from bringing about the end of the world by giving birth to the Antichrist.

  James stood in front of the file cabinet containing the records for patients with last names ending in G, H, and I. He pulled a few files out and sorted through them, sure that he was about to uncover the home address of Karen Holloway. But before he could get through the files, his supervisor walked into the room and asked him what he was doing. James didn’t want to lie—he knew it would require him to break one of God’s commandments, one of God’s perfect rules—but he saw no other option. He reasoned that God would forgive him this one sin if it was in the service of his greater purpose. He told his supervisor that when he came into the room there were some files on the ground and he was merely trying to put them back in the correct place. The supervisor explained that she’d been standing there for more than a few seconds and she witnessed James looking through the files. She knew he was lying, and it couldn’t be tolerated. She terminated him without hesitation and told him that someone from the cleaning agency would contact him to let him know when he could collect his final paycheck. She then demanded that he turn over any keys or access cards he might have on his person as well as his employee identification badge. For a brief second James thought about withholding some of his access cards, but he immediately fought this dishonest impulse, silently cursing himself for lying in the first place.

  James offered no defense for himself. He knew that what he had done was wrong. He knew that the open drawer and the unlocked file cabinets were all more tricks of Satan. He knew that he had lied to his supervisor only because Satan had tempted him. In the elevator, he cursed himself for being so stupid. Why would God ever want anyone to lie on his behalf? He should have known at the moment he felt the urge to lie that Satan was behind it. Who else but the Father of Lies? He hated himself for having come so far, having done everything right along the way, only to have his purpose invalidated by the very being he was fighting against.

  He dropped to his knees in the elevator, clutched his hands together as tight as he could, and wept. James begged God for forgiveness. He apologized for succumbing to Satan’s will without even knowing it. He admitted that he was nothing more than a weak-willed human being, fallible and prone to mistakes. He urged God to give him one more chance to carry out his final goal, which he was convinced involved stopping Karen Holloway’s evil plan. He pleaded with God to take mercy on him and allow him to prove his obedience. He promised God that he would suffer anything in his glorious service as long as it meant that he was forgiven and considered righteous once again. He knew that even this faltering, even this giving in to satanic temptation, was somehow part of God’s plan. It had to be. And that meant that God might still have James in mind to carry it out. So James asked him one final time, before the elevator got to the ground floor, to give him one last sign to guide him on the last leg of his journey. James promised God that if he could just be told what to do, he would carry it out.

  James left the building and got in his car. He wiped his tears and started the engine. As the car started, the radio turned on, and James heard a morning DJ explaining that areas were being roped off near one of the exits from Cedars-Sinai hospital and paparazzi were already starting to camp outside the barriers. The rumor was that Karen Holloway was very close to her due date, and everyone was speculating that this is where she would emerge to give the world the first glimpse of her new baby.

  James thanked God for this sign and promised him that no matter what the consequences were for him personally, he would carry out the plan.

  chapter

  thirty-five

  Karen was sitting on the couch as Paul unpacked some of his clothes and hung them back in their closet. Though her back and hips were still aching, she was happy. She was happy to be back in her old apartment, the place she had considered home for the past several years. She was happy that Paul was moving back in. She was happy to see what the rest of her life would be like with him and with their child. She had never thought she’d experience a moment like this, but she was glad for it and couldn’t imagine it being any different.

  Karen shifted on the couch a little to ease the ache in her lower back and heard a plainly audible pop. This was followed by the feeling of warm liquid filling her underwear, soaking her pants, and even through to the couch. She looked down to see that she was sitting in a huge puddle of liquid, and she knew her water had broken. Her heart started to beat faster and she began to sweat. She screamed, “Paul!” He ran into the room and she said, “We have to get to the hospital. This shit is happening.”

  Paul had been briefed by Karen’s parents on the proper procedure for a smooth trip to the hospital and eventual delivery of the baby. Paul said, “Okay. Okay. Fuck. I’ll get the bag of shit, and you—no, not you, I’ll call your parents, too. You get . . . you get nothing. Just do what you need to do to get ready. Okay. Seriously. I’ll get the shit, call the parents, and get the car running. Do you need help or anything? What’s going on? Jesus fucking Christ.”

  Karen said, “Yeah. You get the bag, call the parents, and then wait for me. I’m going to change my pants because these are soaked. We might also need a new couch after this. And then maybe help me out to the car. Oh, shit, and call my doctor.”

  Paul said, “Okay,” and proceeded to make the necessary phone calls as Karen went into the bathroom to clean up. As she walked, she could feel liquid leaking out of her vagina with every step. Even after taking her pants off, sitting in a tub for a few minutes, and putting on a new pair of pants, fluid was still trickling down her legs. After grabbing a bathroom towel, she had Paul help her out to the car, which he already had running and loaded with toiletries, clean clothes, baby outfits and other items they would need during the hospital stay. Then, once he was in the car, he laid the towel on the passenger’s seat and Karen got in.

  As Paul pulled out of the driveway, Karen looked at their apartment. She knew the next time they came to this place, to their home, they would not be alone. That phase of her life was over, and the realization scared her. She couldn’t help wondering what her life would be like in that moment if none of this had happened, if she hadn’t skipped a pill, if she had never gotten pregnant. She wondered what other dissertation she might have conco
cted. She’d still be in school working on it. She and Paul would have very likely never separated. She certainly wouldn’t be on her way to the hospital to give birth to a child. And the world would have never known about her. For a moment she wondered whether that would have been preferable to the life she was about to lead. But then she let the matter drop. She didn’t see the point in comparison.

  Once they arrived at the hospital, Paul double-parked and helped Karen into the lobby. He stayed with her while she checked in and waited until a nurse brought out a wheelchair. Then Paul went out to deal with the car while the nurse helped Karen into the wheelchair and then started wheeling her back into the labor and delivery area of the hospital.

  As she was sitting in the chair, Karen could still feel some fluid leaking out into her pants. She could also feel some of her first contractions. They weren’t painful, but they were hardly comfortable. Karen could feel the muscles at the top of her stomach get very hard for a few seconds, then let up. It was almost like the onset of a muscle cramp, but not quite. She could understand how this would eventually become increasingly painful.

  Once Karen was wheeled into her room, the nurse helped her into a hospital gown and told Karen that she could leave her socks on if she preferred to. Karen hadn’t given it much thought, but decided to leave them on, thinking that there was no point in suffering cold feet along with all the other agony she was about to endure. This nurse helped Karen up into the hospital bed and told her that another nurse would be in shortly, as well as the doctor who would be overseeing the delivery of her baby. Karen said, “Did you call Dr. Kang, my doctor?” The nurse explained that Dr. Kang had been notified, but it was unlikely she’d be able to make it. The nurse assured Karen that this was all normal protocol, and the doctors who were on duty at the hospital had delivered thousands of babies and were more than qualified to deliver hers.

  The nurse then inserted an IV into the back of Karen’s hand. Karen was told that this IV would deliver necessary replenishing fluids, which she was certain to lose a lot of during the birth, as well as antibiotics for group B strep. Then the nurse said, “Okay, now I’m going to have to do a little check to see how dilated you are.”

  Religion was important. It was the only thing that gave people a reason to live. It was the only thing that gave people an idea that something might exist after this life. And helping people in this life was the surest way to get a good spot in the next one. Science had its place in making the lives of people on Earth better, but beyond that there wasn’t much point in it. Space exploration was a waste of time and money. Sex was something that people outside of marriage could engage in, but it was much better if it was between a husband and wife, because it meant more. Having a child was one of the most important things a person could do, if not the most important. Not only was it important on a concrete level to continue the species, but it was also deeply fulfilling on a personal level. Helping people to bring new lives into the world was almost as fulfilling. These were things that the nurse understood to be true.

  The nurse put on a rubber glove and squirted some lubricant on her fingers, rubbing it over as much of her hand as she could. She said, “Okay, spread your legs a little, and let’s see how close your— Do you know the sex?”

  Karen said, “She’s a girl.”

  The nurse said, “Okay, let’s see how close your daughter is to coming out and saying hello.”

  Karen tried to remain still as the nurse inserted what felt like her entire hand into Karen’s vagina. The pain was intense and sharp. The stretching of the skin was like nothing she’d ever experienced. It felt as though it might rip, but it didn’t. The pain was made more intense as the nurse forced her hand deeper into Karen’s vagina. She could feel pressure from the baby moving down toward her vagina, and pressure from the nurse’s hand moving up into it. She tried to breathe and think of something else. The nurse removed her hand, giving Karen immediate relief, and said, “You’re at a five, which is coming along pretty well. We want to get you to about a ten, and then you start pushing, and with any luck, that’ll be all we have to do.”

  Paul came in the room and said, “Hey, your parents are here. Do you want them to come in or wait in the waiting room?”

  Karen said, “I guess they can come in if they want.”

  Paul said, “Okay,” and went back out in the lobby to get them.

  The nurse brought out several large pads and helped Karen position herself so that they could be placed under her lower back, buttocks, and vagina. Karen said, “What’re the pads for?”

  The nurse said, “Childbirth is pretty messy. We like to try to keep things as neat as possible. Makes it easier on everyone. I’ll probably be changing these out a few times during the delivery, too.”

  A doctor came into the room. He said, “Hello, I’m Dr. Gibson. I’m going to be delivering your baby today. How are we doing?”

  There was certainly no God. Humanity was the result of random particles coming together in exactly the right way to form life that evolved over millions and millions of years. There was no greater meaning or purpose to anything. Science was the best way to know everything about existence and our place in it. Medicine, specifically, was one of the best ways to know everything about humanity. The need for sex was a basic primal instinct, and one that still served our population very well, and it had nothing to do with love. That was a great misconception. Eventually there would be no need for sexual procreation, and our drive to seek out sexual interaction would evolve away. Until that time, babies needed to be brought into the world safely. These were things that Dr. Gibson understood to be true.

  The nurse said, “She’s at a five, and everything looks normal.”

  Dr. Gibson said, “Great. You feeling okay?”

  Karen said, “A little nervous, but other than that, yeah. I’m okay.”

  Dr. Gibson said, “This your first?”

  Karen said, “Yeah.”

  Dr. Gibson said, “You have nothing to worry about. We’re going to take good care of you and your baby. Is anyone else coming into the delivery room for you, or . . . ?”

  Karen said, “Oh, yeah. My parents and my, uh, boyfriend are coming in right now.”

  Dr. Gibson said, “Okay, okay, perfect. New boyfriend or old boyfriend—like, father-of-the-baby boyfriend? Sorry if I’m prying, I just followed your story pretty closely. I guess you could say I’m kind of a fan. Sorry.”

  Karen couldn’t help smiling. She said, “No need to apologize. He’s my old boyfriend, and we’re back together. He is the father.”

  Dr. Gibson said, “Okay. Great. Great. Anyway, I’ll be back in a little bit once things really start moving. But everything looks great so far.” Then Dr. Gibson left.

  The nurse said, “He really did follow your whole story. We all did, really. Anyway.”

  Paul, Robert, and Lynn came in the room together. Lynn said, “Oh my God. I can’t believe this is actually happening. Oh, Jesus. Robert, can you believe this?”

  Robert said, “It’s something. That’s for sure. Do you want us in here, honey?”

  Karen said, “Of course. If you guys want to be in here, I totally want you in here.”

  Lynn moved over to Karen and hugged her. She said, “I know this has been insane, but I’m so happy this worked out like this and Paul is here. It’s just perfect.”

  Karen said, “It’s not really perfect. It’s already starting to hurt pretty fucking bad, and I imagine it gets worse. So not perfect at all.”

  Lynn said, “Are you going to have an epidural?”

  Karen said, “As soon as it’s available. My back is fucking killing me.”

  The nurse said, “If you can move from side to side a little bit, that can sometimes help.”

  Karen started moving back and forth as she gripped her mother and Paul for stability. She said, “Not really helping much. I’m also dying of thirst and I’m hot. Sorry to be complaining so much.”

  The nurse laughed and said, “
I think you’re going to be complaining a lot more. I’ll get you some water and some ice.”

  For the next few hours, Karen ate ice, drank water, and rocked back and forth while her parents and Paul tried to soothe her as best they could. The contractions were coming much closer together, and they were much more painful than they had been in the beginning. Karen’s hair was matted to her forehead with sweat, and the pain was so bad that that she had begun gritting her teeth with each successive contraction. Seeing the obvious signs of labor, the nurse said, “I think it might be time to deliver this baby. Let me just do one more check.”

  She lubricated her hand and slid it back into Karen’s vagina. The pain was much more intense than the first check, and Karen screamed. The nurse said, “I know. I know it hurts, but we need to see if you’re ready. And it looks like you are.” The nurse removed her hand from Karen’s vagina and said, “Let me get Dr. Gibson.”