Denial

by R. M. Walker

  “It wasn’t us,” Josh said. “Did you do it?”

  “Me? What? You think I blew it in?” She snorted. “I wasn’t touching the table either. One of you must have done it.”

  Nate frowned at the table and shrugged. “Weird.”

  “I was thinking if it had carried on a little bit more it would have gone down.”

  Had she made it go in? She shuddered. Her grip on the cue tightened.

  “Try and push another one.” Nate stretched out as if he was going to take a shot.

  She focused and willed them to move. Nothing happened, and she sighed heavily. It hadn’t been her. It was just one of those things, like when something fell off a shelf for no apparent reason. Slight earth tremors or subsidence maybe, but not her.

  The overhead PA system clinked on, and a number was called out in a static, bored sounding voice.

  “That’s us,” Matt said. “Let’s leave this and change our shoes. Don’t worry about it, Lily.”

  “I don’t have magic,” she said. “It can’t have been me.”

  Nate slapped his cue stick on the table and glared at her. “Of course you do. Stop denying it!”

  “What I meant is”—she glared right back at him—“I’m just this vision thing, I can’t do the sort of stuff you can do.”

  Jake stepped up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder, his mouth by her ear. His hands crept around her waist to hold her against him. “You made flowers grow with your magic. You heard the trees with your magic. You do have it, it’s just not like ours. You might have done it subconsciously in frustration. Don’t sweat it, Lily Pad. You’re gonna be fine.” He kissed her cheek gently, and then he moved back from her, took her cue, and placed it on the table.

  Nate came towards her, looking sheepish. “Sorry, I jumped to conclusions,” he said.

  She sighed heavily and smiled. “Well, it’s not like I haven’t given you cause to jump to that conclusion. I’m sorry too.”

  “C’mon, let’s see what your aim is like. But for god’s sake, remember to let go of the ball, or you’ll be heading down the lane face first,” he said.

  She laughed at the mental image. “I’ve played ten pin bowling before, so we’re safe from that outcome.”

  “Teams or individual? Oh! We’re uneven,” Jake said. “Problem of five.”

  “Individual,” Matt said. “And I intend to beat your twin asses!”

  “Yeah, yeah, Matthew, you couldn’t beat us if we were blindfolded.” Josh sniggered. “However, if Lily ends up being a strike kind of girl, she’s on our team.”

  Her hands were caught by the twins, and she was tugged forwards.

  “Unlike you losers, I won’t need her help,” Matt said.

  Josh flipped him off, and Matt laughed as he went ahead of them.

  Lily shook her head and looked back at Nate. His glasses were off, and he was rubbing his right eye.

  She pulled free from the twins and waited for Nate to catch up. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He slid his glasses back on and took her hand as they carried on walking. “I’m fine. Just got something in my eye.”

  “How good is Matt at bowling?” she asked.

  “He’s better than the rest of us,” Nate said. “How good are you?”

  They stopped by the desk and exchanged their shoes for the supplied bowling shoes.

  “Not brilliant. I can keep it out of the gutters most of the time,” she said, following him to the lane that was theirs.

  “Order of play.” Matt came over. “Oldest as usual. Lily, you’re older than all of us. You go first.”

  “I am, aren’t I?” She grinned at him. “Seeing as I’m the eldest, I think I should be the one to boss you around. Give Nate a break.”

  The twins hooted with laughter, and Nate snorted loudly, a smirk on his lips.

  “I’m not the leader because I’m older, Lily May. I’m the leader because I’m wiser.”

  “Yeah, right!” scoffed Josh.

  “Wiser, my ass.” Matt laughed. “You go on thinking that, Natey boy, and we’ll go on humouring you. You though”—Matt turned to Lily, one eyebrow raised—“you want to boss us around, do you?”

  “I could use a few slaves,” she said casually as she crossed to the ball rack for their lane.

  “Oh, is that right?” Matt stepped up behind her and slid his hands onto her hips. He nuzzled her neck, and tingles shot through her.

  “And what would you require your slaves to do?” he purred into her ear, turning the tingles into a shudder.

  “My homework, chores, laundry, drive me places, peel and feed me grapes—the usual things I guess.” She couldn’t stop the laugh that left her. It turned into a gasp as Matt nipped her ear.

  “And what would be our reward for being obedient slaves?”

  “The knowledge that you’d served me well,” she replied loftily.

  “I think someone needs to be reminded we’re all equal.” Matt stepped back, laughing.

  “You are so right! Nate, Matt says you are all equal... under me.”

  “Well, damn, we can be under you any day. Just say the word, Lily Pad.” Josh waggled his eyebrows.

  Her face flushed as she realised how the twins had taken her words. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

  “That’s a darn shame,” Jake said with a wicked grin. “Keep it in mind.”

  Her cheeks burned as visuals of him underneath her crept into her mind.

  Nate took pity on her as he drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Ignore them. They’re being prats.”

  “Yeah, we’re Neanderthals, Lil.” Jake placed a hand on her back. “Just slap us if we get out of line.”

  “I wouldn’t ever slap you,” she said seriously.

  “That’s good to know,” Josh said. “But we have no intentions of doing anything that would make you slap us anyway.”

  “None of us do,” Matt said.

  “C’mon, Lily, show us how well you bowl,” Nate said.

  She picked out her ball and got into position at the start of the lane. She swung the ball and let go. It flew down the middle of the lane, smashed into the middle pin, and brought down the other nine with it.

  “Strike! Holy shit! She’s on our team!” Josh hollered, and she high-fived them.

  Matt picked her up and swung her around, making her laugh. “She’s on my side. Aren’t you, Lily Flower?”

  “I’m on all your sides!” she announced, grinning down at him.

  “Good answer,” he said and lowered her to the floor.

  “And we’re on your side too,” Nate said. “If everything else goes to shit, we will always have each other.”

  “Aye!” The twins held out their fists in front of them.

  “Aye!” Matt immediately lifted his own hand to touch theirs, forming a semi-circle with their fists.

  Aye!” Nate added his fist leaving a space between him and Josh. He looked over at Lily and raised an eyebrow at her. “Do I have to remind you to keep up yet again?”

  Lily stepped between Nate and Josh and lifted her fist to touch theirs. The humour slid away, leaving an intense silence. They watched her as she looked down at their fists.

  “Aye,” she whispered.

  She heard their collective sigh and realised they’d been holding their breath, waiting for her response. A shiver started at her fingertips and crept up her arm. It spread through her slowly like creeping treacle: thick, warm, safe. She looked up at them, her eyes darting between them. Did they feel it?

  “Magic, it’s magic,” Matt whispered, his eyes meeting hers. She knew they felt it too.

  “The circle is complete,” Josh whispered. “A circle of five.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked.

  “It means we’re family, Lily May, and we always will be.”

  Contentment flowed through her, and she knew it wasn’t just her feeling i
t. She smiled slowly at them. This was worth everything; this was what she wanted.

  A circle of five. Family.

  Bleeding

  “Lily! Wake up!” Josh nudged her.

  She jumped, realising she hadn’t heard her name being called for registration. Panicking, she lifted her hand in the air. “Here!” she called.

  Josh groaned, and Jake lowered his forehead to the desk.

  “We moved on from you when the first couple of times met with no response. Good to see you’re back with us, Lily, even if you’re not Wayne Brown.” Drew’s voice was filled with humour, and she blushed fire-red as the class began laughing. He sent her a smile and carried on with the register.

  She slumped down onto her folded arms in embarrassment.

  “Where did you go?” Josh whispered.

  “What?” She looked at him sideways.

  “He called your name twice before moving on to Wayne. You were miles away.”

  What had she been thinking about? She couldn’t remember. Doubt crept into her mind. Was it an absence seizure again? She hadn’t had one for several years, but when she did have them, shaking her didn’t bring her around.

  She shrugged. “Away with the fairies I guess.”

  Jake snorted, and she realised the saying took on a new meaning.

  She looked over and waggled her eyebrows. “They have wings and can fly.”

  “Cracked.” He shook his head, a grin tugged his lips. “You are completely cracked.”

  Jake’s name was called and Josh answered, and then Jake answered for Josh. She figured it had become a habit for them.

  Josh tapped the back of her hand with one finger. “Too much sea air last night,” he murmured.

  Lily smiled as she remembered spending Sunday with them on the beach. They’d taught her how to lay and start a fire on the shingles with dried sticks, seaweed, and surprisingly, no magic.

  “Well, we won’t be doing that again for a while. Weather is on the change,” Jake said and sat back. Drew had finished registration and was seated behind his desk, marking papers and ignoring everyone around him.

  “You can tell?” she asked.

  “Yeah, we can smell it in the air,” he said, picking up the strap of her bag and flipping it back and forth on her hand gently. “Rain is coming in.”

  “Is that because of... y’know?” she asked, looking around at Josh. She caught him grinning at Jake over her head before he turned away, and she knew instantly they were winding her up.

  “Yeah, just us though. Not the others,” he said casually, his fingers working over his bag buckle.

  “Wow, that must be cool,” she said, keeping a straight face. “Being able to tell if it’s going to snow, storm, rain. I’m impressed.”

  “We’re impressive, what can we say?” Josh sent her a wink and went back to staring at his bag.

  “Well, let’s hope you can tell what the weather is going to be like better than you can bullshit me,” she said in fake wonder.

  “You swore, Lily Pad. We’re going to start a swear tin for you. A fiver every time you swear,” Jake said, grinning at her.

  “You want me to put a fiver in a tin for using one mild swear word while you lot swear like troopers? Will you be putting in when the F word is raining down around me like leaves in the autumn?”

  “The F word?” Josh moved closer to her, moving her bag so he could rest his head on his hand as he looked at her. “Which word would that be, Lily Pad? Fudge?”

  “Food?” Jake asked.

  “Fiver?”

  “Fish?”

  “Frankfurters? You need to be specific,” Josh said.

  “You know what word I mean.” A blush rose on her cheeks. They were teasing her again, and they were loving it. So was she.

  “Well, we would if you told us,” Jake murmured. “We could end up bankrupt just because every time we said a word starting with an F we had to donate to the swear tin.”

  “Help us out, Lily Pad.”

  “You know!” She narrowed her eyes at Josh.

  “Oh, she means that F word, Jacob. Fingers,” he whispered, and she rolled her eyes at him.

  “No, and you know what word I mean.”

  They slid closer to her, leaning their cheek on their hands, their faces inches from hers as they watched her.

  “Say it, Lily Pad, say it,” Josh whispered, and she widened her eyes at him.

  “Josh!”

  “Go on, Lily, just so we’re clear. Say it,” Jake said and moved even closer to her. They were both crowding her, legs pressed against her own.

  “Dare you.” Josh smirked at her.

  She rolled her eyes again. “How old are we? I’m not going to say it just because you dare me.”

  “Say it, Lily Pad. We won’t let it go until you do.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we want to hear you say it,” Jake said, and his voice dropped several octaves.

  “Oh, for goodness sake. Boys!” She blew out her breath and shook her head. “Fuck. Happy now?” The heat crept back into her cheeks. She wasn’t a prude, but her mother didn’t swear and never allowed Lily to swear. And when it did slip out, it made her feel uncomfortable.

  “Bloody hell, yes.” Jake sighed. “Say it again. Nothing else, just fuck.”

  She looked at him as if he was mad. His eyes had gone dark. “Fuck,” she whispered. They both shuddered against her, and it sent a thrill through her.

  “It’s the blush as well, Joshua,” Jake whispered, staring at her lips. “You blush when you say it, Lily. It makes us want to kiss you.”

  “Amongst other things,” Josh added quietly.

  Her blush became an inferno of heat on her cheeks as she glanced between them. A stirring in the pit of her stomach made her shift in her seat, and she heard them groan.

  The overhead bell rang, making Lily jump and the twins pull back from her. They exchanged glances, and she blew out her breath. They affected her in ways that she’d never experienced before.

  “Lily! One moment before you leave!” Drew called out to her and waved a piece of paper that she recognised as her permission form for the trip on Friday.

  “What now?” Josh muttered, as he moved behind her to the end of the aisle.

  “You boys go on. Lily is capable of answering any questions without your help,” Drew said sharply when they started to follow her to the front. A few others watched them, wondering what was going on.

  “Wait by the door for me, please?” she asked, her voice low. She didn’t want to make a scene, or at least no more than usual when she held both of their hands.

  Josh swore under his breath as they both stalked over to the door and waited in the doorway with their arms folded, identical scowls on their faces.

  “Lily, not sure what happened, but there’s no signature here.” Drew held the form out to her, and she took it with a frown.

  “I asked her to sign it last night. She must have forgotten. I picked it up this morning and didn’t check it, just left it on your desk. Will tomorrow be too late?”

  “No, that’s fine.” He straightened the papers he was marking. “In fact, I have those books if you’re still interested. You can bring the form across when you pick up the books this evening if you like? Bring the boys if they’re with you.” His voice was low as he stood up, his body turned sideways to hers, but she heard him clearly.

  “Okay, thanks.” She wondered if the twins had heard. She hoped they weren’t getting ready to kill him.

  “All right then, off you go. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Good morning, professor.” His first class started to come in.

  “Morning. Settle yourselves down. The Kaiser is on the cards today, and not a chief in sight,” he called out then looked back at her.

  “Professor?” she mouthed at him, remembering he had told them not to call him that.

  He smirked, stepping closer to her.
“I’m not having twelve-year-olds calling me Drew. There’s a reason I choose to teach in a uni. I’m better with adults.”

  “Lily! We’ll be late!” Josh called out, his voice tight.

  “Go on. Your guardians are champing at the bit again,” he said softly, his eyes back on the kids filling up the room. “All right you lot! Keep it down! We don’t need a full-on riot just to sit down.”

  She laughed and made her way towards the door where the twins had moved to let the kids in.

  “What did he want?” Josh muttered as they made their way quickly to Maths.

  “My form for the trip. Mum must have forgotten to sign it.” This was the perfect time to tell them. “He’s got some more books for me.”

  Neither of them said anything, but they weren’t happy. They joined the last of the students going into the classroom.

  “It’s fine. He said you can come if you want,” she said.

  “We don’t want.” Jake snorted.

  “And you shouldn’t go in by yourself; remember what Jonas said,” Josh reminded her as they settled into their seats.

  “I’m just picking up books from him.”

  “Good morning, rabble! You’re going to love me enough to call your firstborn after me when you see what I have for you today.” Mr O’Connor came into the room wearing a cardigan that looked like he’d killed a rainbow, and in its dying throes, it had exploded all over the wool.

  “What the hell has he got on?” Lily whispered. It was so furry, like mohair. Big splotches of bright colours covered every inch. And to make it worse, his trousers were a pea green cord.

  “Seems like Madame Fontaine dressed him today.” Jake sniggered. “Happens at least once a year.”

  “Why would she dress him?” She was unable to take her eyes from where he was setting up a complex maths problem on the board.

  “She’s his wife. We think he loses some sort of scholastic bet with her, like who’s got the dumbest new kid or something.”

  “His wife? She’s his wife?” She thought of the tiny French teacher, and in some strange way it made sense; a cute, highly weird sense.

  “They’ve been married forever,” Josh whispered. “Met when she came over as a French exchange student. Returned the following year and got married. She’ll tell you all about it if you ask her. She loves talking about it.”