Sprig of Thyme

by Jenna Dawlish

  “When you called for Adella, was Mr Garner with you?” Flora asked.

  “Of course not. We saw him in Sydney Gardens and he seemed eager to walk with Adella. Though I don't see why, she is not anyway near as pretty as me and she's ancient; an old maid I'd say! But I think Mr Garner was trying to vex me, he gave me knowing glances before he walked off with Adella, I'm sure of it. Anyway, Mr Yates, is as rich as Mr Garner and probably richer, he works in the Stock Market you know. I think I might prefer him.”

  “Did she say what Mr Garner said to her?” Leonard asked.

  “No.”

  Leonard looked at Flora, “He must have mentioned or spoke of - ” then glancing at Mr Alther and Helen who were listening carefully he stopped. Flora nodded.

  Helen stamped her foot, “What, secrets? You two have a secret about Adella? Tell me what it is? I must know! How dare you have secrets without telling me.”

  “Sorry Helen, I don't know what you are talking about, Dr Preston and I have no secrets,” Flora said flatly.

  “Hmm,” Helen looked back and forth at Leonard and Flora, but neither gave an indication of guilt.

  “Well, the next time I see Adella, I will speak to her about it,” Leonard said and he put his hat on.

  “And get her to apologise!” Helen said.

  “Yes, and get her to apologise.” Leonard turned to the door, bid his farewell and left.

  ***

  Adella was in full slumber when something woke her. The first rays of dawn were starting to seep through the curtains of her bedroom as she came into consciousness. She heard footsteps and knew it was Leonard. However quiet he tried to be, she would always hear him. She was sure he had been out all night with a patient and would be tired, but she must speak to him straight away.

  Forcing herself up more quickly than usual, she hastily dressed, worried that Leonard was about to leave the house again. She wasn't about to let him get away. Her soft soled slippers made her steps almost silent as she went downstairs and stood in the kitchen doorway.

  Leonard had his back to her, cutting bread and cheese.

  “You were out all night then?” she said looking at his dishevelled clothes she remembered he wore the day before.

  He turned round quickly. “You should not creep up on me like that. I think you have added a few more grey hairs to my head!”

  He turned back, and continued cutting.

  “There is ham in the pantry if you want it,” she said.

  “Thank you.” But he did not move, and the quiet noise of his chopping of cheese and bread was all that could be heard.

  “I spoke to Mr Garner yesterday. The first time I walk further than the grocer's in weeks, and suddenly there he is.” She made an involuntary gesture with her hand.

  Leonard turned around, “Yes, Helen mentioned it. What happened, did he upset you? She seemed to think you had spoken out of turn to her. Of course Flora and I didn't believe it. But that doesn't matter for now. What did Mr Garner say to you?”

  “He made some wild accusations.” She gave a nervous laugh. “He said that Joel told you the reason why he abandoned me.”

  Adella watched as he flushed, opened his mouth to speak, but said nothing. He looked away.

  There was no surer sign of the truth. Her hand flew to her cheek in dismay. “He was not lying. How long have you known?” she whispered.

  “A few weeks,” he muttered looking at the floor.

  “And you never thought to tell me?” Anger seared through her and she stepped forwards. 'You've known all this time and you never thought to tell me?”

  “Look Adella, I can't tell you. He made me promise not to say anything.”

  “He made you promise! You should have made no promise of the kind.”

  “He told me as a patient tells his doctor, and I cannot betray that trust. And anyway, he only told me on the condition that I said nothing to you.”

  “Why? Am I your sister or not? Do you not know where your loyalties lie? What he did to me....you know what he did to me and now you know the reason and you will not tell me! These five years I have wanted answers. You have only known him for a few weeks and now he tells you!”

  “I cannot. I cannot.” He shook his head. “If I do tell you, you will go and see him. I know you will. Besides, he will tell you himself soon enough I assure you.”

  “But I will not speak to him if you tell me I will not tell another living soul. He would never know.”

  Leonard paused, then he shook his head once more. “No, even if I was unprofessional enough to tell you, if you knew the truth you would speak to him. You would not be able to stop yourself.”

  “Then I will tell him Mr Garner told me,” she said.

  “No. He would know it was me who told you.”

  Adella sighed deeply, more in the sadness from his betrayal than in anger. “I cannot believe you will not tell me. My own brother.”

  “I have not liked keeping this from you. Just know that, he is not the man you think he is.”

  “You are right. Not only has he wounded me five years ago, but he has turned my own brother against me. Is there no end to his evil? He is not the man I thought he was, he is a devil in disguise. Sent from the pit of hell to torment me.”

  “I – I cannot say anything further. But he is not a devil, he is an honourable man. If you knew the truth, but I cannot say. . .” His voice drifted off and he turned back to the sideboard, his head hung low. 'Damn him, why did Frederick tell her? He is the devil and I do not trust him,” he whispered.

  “I can see arguing with you is pointless. I know what to do next.” She turned and left quickly as silently as she had arrived.

  Leonard stood for a few minutes, lost in thought. It was only when he heard the front door that he realised she was no longer in the kitchen and wondered where she might be going at this early hour. He hoped it was to cool her anger, though suddenly he suspected she might be going to Joel. If she was..... he turned and walked to the front door to go after her. Then stopped himself. Perhaps it was a good thing she went to see him, if Joel would tell her himself then he would no longer have to keep the secret. He should have told her exactly where he had been all night, forewarned her, but he didn't have the strength. The death of a patient always left him feeling tired and numb for days afterwards.

  Chapter 14

  Adella pulled hard at the door bell and stood back. It rang loudly and echoed in her ears. Her eyes scanned the front of the building. Then she checked the window.

  Nothing.

  She rang the bell again.

  What was taking so long?

  Eventually the door opened. A footman looked her up and down.

  “I want to see Mr Polwarth.”

  “I'm afraid he is not accepting any visitors except on business,” he answered in a cool tone.

  “Business?” More anger seared through her. She didn't think she could get any more enraged than she already was. But now it reached new heights.

  The footman spoke again, “If you would like to leave a card I will pass it onto Mr Polwarth.”

  “Card? I will not leave a card. I demand to see him!”

  She pushed past him into the hall.

  “Come back, you are not allowed in,” he shouted.

  “Where is he?” She reached for the nearest door and flung it open.

  “Stop!” the footman said from behind her, but she ignored him and stepped in the room.

  The footman grabbed her shoulder, “I'm sorry sir, I tried to stop her. Miss, please come with me. You can't go in there.”

  She shook herself free and was able to see Joel a short distance away inside the room. He was seated in an arm chair by the fireplace. His face wore a look of surprise. “Get off me!” Then she turned to Joel and shouted, “You are not going to push me aside. You will speak to me whether you like it or not.”

  Joel stood up and paused momentarily, “Matthew, let her in, and close the door behind you.”

  The
footman did as he was asked, but with a look of disdain directed at Adella. Once it was shut, all she could hear was her own breathlessness.

  Their eyes locked. He stood waiting for her to speak and she noticed he grasped the back of the chair.

  “I want answers,” she said.

  He spoke in a quiet resigned tone, “Yes. Yes I know.”

  “You told my brother everything. Yet you would not tell me,” she spat.

  “No. But I will tell you now.”

  It threw her off guard.

  “You will?” she said frowning.

  “Yes. I will tell you everything. Ask any question. I will answer it.”

  He indicated to the armchair opposite him and she looked at it. After thinking for a moment, she sat down in deep confusion. He sat down too; a safe distance away from her she noticed.

  “Why did you tell Leonard your little secret and not me?”

  “I didn't think he was so little to be trusted.”

  “It was not him! He won't breathe a word, it was your friend Mr Garner who told me of the cosy little night you spent together talking about me and how you abandoned me. Yet I am the one who knows nothing of it. Tell me, is this your way of punishing me further?” She shouted now, and her voice became more angry with each word. “If it is, I would very much like to know what I did to deserve all this. Because all I ever remember doing was loving you and giving my heart to you.” The last words she spoke were full of anguish. Bitter tears rolled down her cheeks.

  At those last words he stood up and came towards her. But before he reached her, something stopped him. She looked up into his face towering above her as he shut his eyes, and drew breath.

  “Goodness Adella. You cannot know how it pains me to see you thus.”

  “I know nothing of your pain. Neither do I care.”

  “No. I'm sure you don't.” He placed himself back on the chair. “Now the moment of truth has come; to tell you everything, I find myself faltering. I have waited so long.”

  She did not expect that for an answer.

  He continued in a soft low tone, “I know I have hurt you. I know I have continued to hurt you. But you see, I had reasons. . .”

  Adella stared at him. “Reasons? What possible reasons would make a man behave as you did?”

  “Believe me, I do.”

  She folded her arms and with a defiant tilt of her chin said “Tell me.”

  He looked down and with a smile said, “I am fearful of your response.”

  “And you are smiling. This is no time for jest. It is as I thought; you are a miscreant and you take pleasure in my misery.”

  “No,” He said with a firm shake of his head.

  “Just stop making excuses and tell me what I want to know. I will be the one to decide if you are scoundrel or not. Tell me at once what I did.”

  “Good God, it wasn't what you did. I promise you that. It wasn't because I wanted to cause you pain. Nothing could be further from the truth in fact. I loved you. God alone knows how I loved you.” He took a deep breath. “I left you. . .I abandoned you, because. . .because of my brothers.”

  His eyes searched her face. She noticed a vulnerability about them.

  “Your brothers?”

  “Yes. You see, my father – he was controlling. Before I met you, he tried to force me to marry Cynthia. I didn't want to, so he imprisoned me for two months. When I got out, it was on my 21st birthday and I ran away. First to Scotland with Frederick and then Sidmouth. Where I met you.”

  “You were imprisoned by your father?” She gave a hollow laugh. “Nobody would do such a thing.”

  “My father did, in his own house.”

  “What do your brothers have to do with it?”

  “That day I left you, my father had found me. He threatened to lock up my brothers unless I married Cynthia. So I had to choose; you or them.”

  He paused, still staring at her and she at him. “I had to choose them, can't you see? They were children – Michael, the youngest, was only fourteen. I had to protect them.”

  In one swift movement he crouched down in front of her. His nearness did not affect her. She was confused. So completely confused.

  He grabbed both her arms with a firm grip. “I loved you. I did not lie to you in any way about my feelings. I wanted to marry you, but I had to give you up. I had no choice. I couldn't let them go through what I did.”

  “You loved me?” she whispered.

  “Yes. I still love you. With all my heart. Adella, I have longed to tell you. But I thought – I thought it best you hated me. I hated myself. It was better you didn't know the despicable truth about my family.”

  He stared at her, waiting for a reaction.

  “If this is true, why did you change your name and lie to me about who you were?”

  “I was hiding from my father. I wanted to tell you so many times.”

  There was still a niggling doubt in her head.

  “You are lying now. You only want to seduce me and finish the job you nearly did five years ago. What sort of man locks up his own son? You have made it up. It is a lie.”

  “No. No I am not. You have no reason to believe me. I have no way to make you realise I speak the truth now. But it is the truth.”

  She struggled free from his grasp, stood up and stepped back against the wall. Her hand touched the wall as though to ground herself.

  “I love you still Adella. I have always loved you. Every day of the last five years, you are the one who owns my heart. It was you I dreamt of. Your face I saw as I shut my eyes at night.”

  He walked slowly towards her and stopped just a few inches away.

  “No – this is no explanation. Why did you just not tell me. You are a liar.”

  “I am not. Not any more.” He gave a small laugh, “You cannot realise how many times I wanted to tell you.”

  He came closer. His lips almost touching hers.

  “I love you Adella.”

  She couldn't breathe. He was so close. She was trapped but powerless to move.

  What if it were true?

  He pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the lips. Tentatively at first, then with more force and passion as he seemed to gain confidence. She didn't move at first, then what seemed like both an age and an instant, she realised what he was doing. She tried to pull away, but he moved his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, encasing her in a strong grip.

  She struggled again, and he released her from the kiss.

  She whispered, “Please, let me go.”

  He let his arms drop but stayed close to her.

  “It is your turn to torment me now.” He said in a deep low tone. “You cannot realise what feelings you stir in me.”

  “Please - ” she tried to continue, but he interrupted her.

  “I love you and now that I am a free man, I must ask you. Marry me. This time, we can be wed in a mater of days – as soon as the death certificate is written.”

  She moved away from him, “A free man? Has Cynthia died?”

  “Yes, a few hours ago.”

  “Your wife has been dead a few hours and you are proposing to me.” She paused, then said in a low tone. “It is disgusting.”

  “But - ”

  “It revolts me.”

  “I never loved Cynthia. I was forced to marry her, against my will, against everything that I was. I loved you and now I am free, I have to take this chance, and take it quickly.”

  “Why? If you truly love me then you would court me properly and honourably.”

  He sighed, “I wish that I could. But my father is going to try and make me marry a wealthy widow. Michael is still not 21. He needs protection – as does my daughter. But this time I am not so young and easily coerced. Marry me Adella. I am going to stand up to my father and be rid of him forever. I have some money of my own, we won't be rich but you'll not want for anything. Certainly we'll have more than a tutor's salary.” He gave a wry smile.

  Confusion
racked her mind. She wasn't sure what she felt. To finally know the truth after all this time. Then to suddenly be asked again to marry him. She rubbed her temples, but it was in vain.

  “I need time to think.” She said eventually. “I can't switch my feelings on and off. It's been five years. If what you say is true, do you expect me to fall at your feet? It has taken me too long to get over what you did. While you say you have loved me, I have hated you.”

  “You believe me then?”

  “Yes,” she said quietly. “Yes, I suppose I do. Though I am sure I will regret it.”

  “You will think about my proposal?”

  “If you are determined to stand up to your father, marrying me will make no difference.”

  “It will to me.”

  She wanted the words to be true, but there was a nagging doubt. She needed space, and time to think. She needed to get away from him, but for a strange reason couldn't muster the strength to go.

  “I need more time to think this through.”

  He nodded. 'I will visit you tomorrow and we can talk again.”

  “No, I do not want you to call. Not yet. Not until your wife is at least buried.”

  He sighed, “Then after the funeral I will see you again.”

  She nodded and moved towards the door.

  “At least allow me to escort you home.”

  “No, I do not wish for it. I want to be alone.”

  “You always were too independent. I will not give you up again Adella,” he said.

  She did not reply, just slipped out of the door and to freedom.

  Chapter 15

  Adella closed the front door and slumped against it. She was numb and as the seconds ticked by she knew she had to act. How did she get home? She didn't remember a single moment of the walk back. But yet, here she was.

  She slowly made her way upstairs and went quietly past Leonard's room. The door was shut and she surmised that he was asleep after his long night. It was what she had hoped for. She could not face speaking to anyone.

  She curled up on the bed, her mind a turmoil. She wasn't sure what affected her the most. The fact that he still loved her or that he had given her up.