by HELEN HARDT
I rolled my eyes and threaded my fingers through my hair. “Tell me, and we’ll both know. Your brother’s just crazy. Simply crazy. There’s no other explanation.”
Marj sighed. “I don’t know that he’s crazy, but he does have issues.”
“Issues? This goes way beyond issues. Your brother’s just going to have to understand that he doesn’t own me. I’m going to go into Grand Junction and get my whole fucking body tattooed to spite him.”
Marj let out a giggle. “No, you’re not.”
“Fine. Okay, I’m not.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out, trying desperately to calm down. “But I am going to go to Grand Junction and get a tattoo. No matter what he says.”
“That’s certainly your right. Normally, you know I would never tell you not to do something that you want to do, but…”
“But what? Surely, you can’t be telling me that you agree with him.”
“I’m not saying that.” She smiled. “And don’t call me Shirley.”
I burst into giggles. Trust Marj to pacify me with a stupid-ass joke.
“See, I knew I could make you laugh. Let’s go to the kitchen and have a glass of wine. We’ll talk this out.”
While Felicia was busy in the kitchen getting dinner ready, Marj poured two glasses of wine, and we went out onto the deck.
“Now,” Marj said. “Spill it. What the hell is going on?”
I sighed. “I wish I knew.” I looked down at my glass of wine and swirled the liquid a little. “He told me he loved me today.”
“Oh my God, that’s fantastic!” Marj clapped her hands. “I don’t believe it.”
“I didn’t either. I mean, I believe it, I just couldn’t believe he said it.”
“Did you say it back?”
“I actually said it first.”
“Wow.”
“I told him he didn’t have to say it back. That I understood if he couldn’t, and it was okay, but I just needed him to know how I felt.”
Marj took sip of wine. “Talon wouldn’t say he loved you unless he meant it.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I didn’t push it. I didn’t even mention it. I didn’t ask him to repeat it. I just wanted to savor it, and I didn’t want to give him any chance to take it back.”
“It’s weird to think about…you and Talon.”
“I know.” I understood what she meant. Her brother and her best friend—it had to be strange for her. But even more strange was the fact that Talon was so…walled off.
Time to change the subject. I hadn’t yet told Marj about her birth certificate and what I had learned from Wendy Madigan. I bit my lip for a minute and then took a sip of wine. I couldn’t tell her that Larry was investigating her and her family.
I took in a breath and then exhaled. “By the way, I was doing some routine investigation at work last week when I came across an article in the local paper when Talon returned three years ago.”
“Yeah, there was quite a to-do about it,” she said.
“How come you never told me he was such a hero?”
“He wanted us all to keep it quiet. He begged us to. I’m still not sure why, but I felt I owed it to him. It was his story to tell, not mine.”
Ryan had said those exact words to me when I went to him months ago, asking him about Talon. It wasn’t his story to tell.
What story? Was Ryan talking about Talon’s heroism? About his time in the military? I had no idea.
“I thought we didn’t have secrets, Marj.”
Her cheeks pinked. I had embarrassed her.
“I know, Jade, but Talon felt so strongly about this…”
“You don’t need to explain. And I haven’t forgotten that I just kept a whopper from you up until about a week ago.”
She smiled.
“Anyway, when I read the story, I got to thinking about those documents we had found. So I did a database search for your birth certificate, and the weird part is that your birth certificate shows you only as Marjorie Steel. This is the official document at the Colorado records department.”
“Okay, then why does the one downstairs say my first name is Angela?”
“Well, I researched that a little. There was a name at the bottom of the article about Talon, Wendy Madigan. She used to be a field correspondent for NNN. Do you recognize the name?”
“Wendy Madigan? No, I don’t.”
I wasn’t about to divulge the fact that her father had engaged in a decades-long affair with the former newswoman. True, we weren’t supposed to have secrets, but that… Marj wasn’t ready for that.
“I called her because I was curious why the news story was only shared locally. Turns out she had used her clout to keep it out of the national news at Jonah’s request.”
“Doesn’t surprise me.”
“Anyway, I asked her about your birth certificate, and she told me quite a tale.”
I quickly relayed what Wendy had said about Marjorie’s mother naming her Angela and then removing the name when she survived.
“No kidding? I was premature?”
“You didn’t know?”
She shook her head. “You sure can’t tell to look at me. I’m damn near six feet tall.”
“Were you ever small for your age?”
“Nope, always the tallest girl in the class. God, it was painful before the guys in school shot up. And even after, I was still taller than half of them.”
I smiled. “You were always the most gorgeous too, I bet.” But I had to change the subject yet again. “I know this is a hard topic for you, but what exactly do you know about your mother?”
“I don’t know a lot. At least not firsthand, because I don’t remember her. I’ve seen pictures of course, and I look a little bit like her, though I have my dad’s coloring, same as the boys, but my face is shaped like hers, and my lips.”
I nodded.
“I know she was troubled. I mean, why else would she have killed herself?”
I nodded again. Marj was probably not the best person to be asking about Daphne Steel. The boys remembered her and would be able to tell me more. But so far, they had been tight-lipped about anything concerning family.
“Crazy,” Marj continued. “So I was supposed to die?”
“Yeah, and I’m sure glad you didn’t.”
“Me too.”
We laughed together and drank some more wine.
“Out of curiosity,” I said, “I also checked out your parents’ marriage certificate. The official version in the Colorado database says your mom’s maiden name was Warren, like you guys always thought.”
“That is curious.”
I swallowed a mouthful of wine. “I don’t really know what to make of it all. Somebody somewhere got into the records database, probably a long time ago, and made those changes in the permanent records. It had to be someone pretty high up in the government to have that access.”
“Or my father paid for that access.”
I had wanted to say that, but I was glad she had. “I have given that a bit of thought. Especially since I’m pretty sure Talon paid off Toby’s Tattoo Parlor not to work with me.”
“Well, I’m not particularly proud of it, but one of the benefits of having this kind of money is that we can afford to buy certain things.”
Felicia opened the door and stuck her head out. “Dinner is ready. Is Mr. Talon coming home?”
Marj sighed. “Beats the heck out of me, Felicia. I think Jade and I will have our dinner out here, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. I’ll bring it right out. You want some more wine, ladies?”
Marj giggled. “Of course.”
Felicia brought us two plates of spaghetti and meatballs along with the bottle of wine we had opened and left in the kitchen. I inhaled. Mmm. Rustic tomato and beef. Nothing better.
We dived into our meals and were chatting about nothing in particular when Felicia came back.
“Pardon me, Miss Jade, but there is a Col
in Morse here to see you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Talon
“What is it, Tal?” Jonah stood in his house, wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks. “I was just about to take a dip.”
“Great. I’ll join you. We need to talk.” I walked past him into the foyer and through the kitchen out to his backyard, where his kidney-shaped pool was waiting.
“You brought your trunks?”
I shook my head. “I’ll wear my boxers. You know I don’t care about that.” I gulped down the lump that had formed in my throat. “I… I told Jade I love her.”
Jonah slapped me on the back. “Really? That’s great, Tal.”
“Really? Is it really great?” I tunneled my fingers through my hair. “You know I don’t have any business loving anyone, getting involved with anyone.”
“You have just as much business as anybody else. Especially if maybe you go back to see Dr. Carmichael again.”
“I don’t know if I can. I need to resolve so much. Which reminds me, I had a really weird revelation today.”
“Yeah? What was it?”
“One of those guys. Remember all that I ever remembered before was that one of them had that fucking phoenix tattoo on his forearm? Oh, and you’ll never believe this. Jade wants to get that exact same tattoo.”
Jonah jerked his head forward. “Say what?”
“Yeah, she saw it in a book at Toby’s. Out of all those fucking tattoos, she chose that one. Unreal. So I did a little research. The guy who designed the tattoo can’t remember who he gave it to, but said it was a fairly popular design twenty to thirty years ago. He only remembers putting it on someone’s forearm a few times. I’m going to see if I can get his records.”
“If he still has them.”
I let out a sigh. “Yeah. I know. He’s this old biker guy who says he was stoned half the time back then. I’m going to get a court order or something to go through his records.”
“Why don’t you just ask him to see the records?”
“I should have. I was freaking out so much over the whole thing that I didn’t think of it.” I rubbed my chin. “Now that you mention it, that’s what I’ll do. He’s very cooperative when I throw a few bills around.”
“Most people are, bro.” Jonah chuckled. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
I shook my head. “No. I had a revelation, like I said.”
“What was it?”
“One of the guys, not the tattoo guy, and not the one I remember having a really low voice. The third guy, the one who seemed to be more of a follower. Anyway…he was missing the littlest toe on his left foot.”
Jonah’s eyes bugged out. “How did you remember that all of a sudden?”
“Damned if I know. Things just come to me sometimes. Like a couple weeks ago, I had a dream or flashback or something, and I remembered those guys taunting me with a full glass of water that was just outside my reach. All of a sudden it made sense why I wake up in the middle of the night, pour myself a glass of water, and then stare at it and don’t drink it.”
“Talon, don’t you realize that if you went back to see Dr. Carmichael, she could help you with all of this? She could probably bring more memories to the surface.”
I scoffed. “You think I want to remember that shit? I remember enough of it as it is.”
“But don’t you see? These are clues. We could still catch these guys.”
“Are you kidding? Those guys have got to be long gone if they know what’s good for them. Not all criminals are stupid, you know.”
“Then why are you chasing the tattoo clue?”
Hell, I didn’t know. Because…because I had to do something. But why? I’d never had any urge to do anything about this before. It had been my cross to bear, and I lived with it. “I don’t know.”
“I think I do,” Joe said.
Not surprising. My older brother thought he knew everything. “You don’t know shit.”
He laughed. “Maybe not. But I think I know why you’re raring to do something now, why you’re following that tattoo lead. It’s because you want to move forward. Finally. Because of Jade.”
Jade. Somewhere, stuffed into the recesses of my mind, did I actually think I could heal? Become worthy of her love?
Did my brother know everything?
I chuckled to myself. No, he didn’t. But he might be right about this. Damned if I was going to admit it though.
“You got nothing to say to that?” my brother asked.
“Nope.”
Jonah let out a guffaw. “Means you think I’m right.”
“No comment.”
He shook his head, laughing. “Have it your way. But back to these leads. Any lead is better than none. So far we have a phoenix tattoo on the left forearm and a missing pinky toe on a left foot. That rules out the majority of the men in the world.”
“Yeah, I thought of that. So I ran to the computer and did a search, but nothing came of it. I’m not sure what I was thinking. There’s no database of guys missing toes out there.”
“I know you never wanted to do this before, but maybe it’s time we hire a P.I. Those guys could still be found. They could still pay for what they did to you.”
If I ever found any one of them, he’d pay. At my own hand. I couldn’t say that to my brother, though. “Maybe. I’ll think on that. But what are the chances of catching those assholes this late in the game? It’s been twenty-five years, Joe.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’ve been thinking about something else.”
“What’s that?”
“I think it’s time we tell Marjorie the truth. About everything.”
Marjorie? Jade’s best friend? From whom she had no secrets? Oh, hell, no. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“She’s just…not old enough to handle it.”
“She’s twenty-five. The rest of us had to handle it when we were half that age.”
“Well…” And the truth came out. “She’ll tell Jade.”
“Not if we tell her not to.”
“Look, Joe, you and Ryan and I decided a long time ago that the past was best left buried and we weren’t going to unearth it. Just as much for your sake as for mine.”
“But you’re unearthing it, don’t you see? By following this lead about the tattoo and now about the missing toe. Are you planning to just let that go? And if that was your plan, why did you go chasing all over to Grand Junction to find the designer of that tattoo?”
I sighed. “Pour me a Peach Street, will you?”
Joe headed to the kitchen and returned a minute or so later. He handed me a drink. “Come on. Let’s go outside and sit by the pool.”
We situated ourselves in a couple of chaise longues, and I took a slow sip of my bourbon. Damn good stuff, Peach Street.
I recognized the contradiction. Here I was, still wanting to bury the truth, yet I had gone on a wild goose chase trying to hunt down that tattoo. And now here I was all excited that I remembered something about another one of those fuckers.
On the other hand, we had decided long ago to bury it.
As if reading my mind, Jonah said, “I know what we decided a long time ago. But we were kids then, Talon. Just immature kids. You were embarrassed, humiliated, and hurt, and we all understood that. Even Mom and Dad. Now we’re adults, all in our thirties, and quite frankly none of us will ever be able to move on unless we all face this. Together.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Do you truly love Jade?”
I wished I could lie to him. Better yet, I wished I could say “no, I don’t” and not be lying. Jade would be better off for it. But I couldn’t do either. I nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“Do you want a life with her?”
Again I wished I could lie, for her sake. “Yes, I do.”
“If you want a relationship with Jade or anyone, you have got to face this and put it behind you. And the only
way to put it behind you is to confront it, accept it, and find some way to deal with it.
“Hey, guys.” Ryan walked out, sporting some trunks and a towel around his neck. “Hey, Tal, I didn’t know you’d be here. I just came over to take a dip.”
Jonah let out a laugh. “Ryan, you have a perfectly good pool at the guest house.”
“Maybe I wanted to hang out with my bros.”
“You didn’t even know we’d be here.”
Ryan let out a loud laugh. “True enough. But you’ve got the good booze here.”
“You, the wine man?”
“Hey, I’m allowed to have a craving for Peach Street every once in a while. Tal finished up my bottle the other night.” He held out a hand. “Don’t get up. I’ll just help myself.” He came back with a drink and the bottle. “So what’s going on with you guys?”
“Well,” Jonah said, “your brother here is in love.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Yeah, but this time he told her,” Jonah said.
“No shit?” Ryan said. “Good for you, Tal. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
It irked me when he said shit like that. Ryan was always jovial. Well, of course he was. Nothing had happened to him. I’d saved his ass that day. I pursed my lips and didn’t respond.
“And I was just telling Talon,” Jonah said, “that I think it’s time we tell Marjorie the truth.”
Ryan shook his head. “No, I disagree.”
“Thanks, bro,” I said. “That’s exactly what I said.”
“Why dredge all that shit up now?”
“Because Talon’s in love, damn it, and he’ll never be able to have a normal life with Jade until we all deal with this. Why do you think none of us have had serious relationships, ever?”
“I like playing around the field, basically,” Ryan said. “I assumed the same for you guys.”
“For God’s sake, I’m thirty-eight years old,” Jonah said. “It’s high time I settle down. The two of you aren’t getting any younger either. Don’t you want kids?”
I shook my head. “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t bring an innocent child into this horrible world.”
“Tal, what happened to you was awful. Heinous. Unimaginable. But it doesn’t happen to most kids. Most kids have great lives, and look around you. Look at all that we have. All this is ours. We need a legacy to leave it to.”