by HELEN HARDT
“Marj will pop out some kids,” Ryan said.
“Maybe, but we need to carry on the Steel name.” Jonah rubbed his temple.
“Maybe she’ll have them out of wedlock.” Ryan swirled the whiskey around in his glass.
“Ha-ha. I’m serious. It’s time to face this, head on.”
“You know, guys,” I said, “this really has nothing to do with either of you. It’s all on me. It’s my decision.”
Jonah shook his head. “I am so fucking sick of you saying that, Talon. This affects all three of us. We all died a little that day. Ryan and I not nearly as much as you. I get that. But I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve protected you. And Ryan, he’s only here because of you. Because you protected him like I should’ve done for you. You think we don’t both harbor a hell of a lot of guilt over that? You know we do. I say it’s time we all move forward.”
I scoffed. “It’s real easy for you to say, Joe.”
“You know what? No, it’s not easy for me to say. Do you think I’m looking forward to sitting our baby sister down and explaining what happened twenty-five years ago? Are you kidding me? But she deserves to know how she came into this world, why she goes by her middle name, why her mother fucking committed suicide, for God’s sake.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Joe kept right on yelling.
“Dad went to a lot of time and trouble and money to cover this up when it happened, but I’m wondering if he didn’t do us all a disservice back then. We were never allowed to deal with it. We swept it under the rug. Then poor Mom couldn’t deal with it. So she fucking offed herself. It’s time for this all to be over.” He slammed his hand down on the wooden arm of the Adirondack chaise longue he was sitting in.
Ryan’s lips trembled, but he did not speak. That was Ry. He accepted the fact that this was my decision. I was his big brother. I was his hero. I had saved him that day. He would never go against my wishes. I knew that as well as I knew that my name was Talon John Steel. If I fought Jonah on this, Ryan would be right behind me, having my back.
But was it worth the fight anymore? If I worked through this and came out alive on the other side, could I have a life with Jade?
Because a life with Jade was what I truly wanted. Ached for. I would never be able to live without her. She had become my obsession. As vital to me as the oxygen I breathed.
So I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I turned to Ryan, and I said, “It’s time.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jade
Colin was here? Hadn’t my ex-fiancé already given me enough heartache and headache to last the rest of my life?
“Could you tell him to go away, Felicia? It’s Saturday night, and I really don’t want to be bothered.”
“All right, Miss Jade.”
A few minutes later, Colin walked out onto the deck.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Jade. He just stomped right past me. I couldn’t stop him.”
“Oh my God. I’m sorry, Felicia. Are you okay?”
“Of course. He didn’t touch me or anything.”
I eyed Colin. “Darn good thing, or I might have him arrested for assault and battery.” I said the last through gritted teeth, referring to him having Talon arrested for the same. Granted, Talon had beaten the snot out of him, but I couldn’t say I was too sorry. This was the guy who’d left me at the altar a few months ago.
“Why in the hell are you back here?”
“Your new boyfriend and I have a court date on Monday. Have you forgotten?”
“I struck a deal with Talon’s attorney. You don’t even have to be here, Colin.”
“Yes, but I have a few words to say to the court. Like maybe I’m not happy with the deal that you struck.”
“You’re going to be getting full restitution.”
“I don’t give a shit about restitution, Jade. You know I don’t need any Steel money. I have my own. I want to see the guy rot in prison.”
“He’s not going to prison for a misdemeanor assault, no matter what you do. Have you forgotten that we have an eyewitness? Namely me?”
“Yeah, also the prosecuting attorney on the case. No way should you be handling this, Jade.”
I opened my mouth but shut it quickly. He was right. I had so many conflicts in this case, but my boss, the unethical Larry Wade, had insisted I take it.
“If I read the Colorado statutes correctly, he can get up to six months in prison for misdemeanor assault.” Colin smirked.
“Yeah, and as the city attorney on the case, I don’t think it’s worth the taxpayers’ time or money to pursue this any further. I’m pretty sure the court’s going to agree with me.”
Colin nodded. “Sure. Because Steel is a homeboy. He’s probably got the judge in his pocket.”
Marjorie stepped forward then. “You take that back, Colin. My family may have money, but we are decent citizens, and we don’t buy people.”
Colin rolled his eyes. “Do you think I was born yesterday, Marj?”
“Oh my God, Jade. How did you stay with this asshat for seven years?”
I had no clue. Seven years of my life down the toilet. What if I had married him? He stood there, his dirty-blond hair slicked back, looking ever so sanctimonious in his pinstripe navy-blue suit and yellow tie. Who wore yellow ties anymore? Hello, Colin? This is the eighties. We want our tie back.
“What are you doing here now? The court date isn’t until Monday, and you can easily get a hotel room until then. Why can’t you leave me in peace?”
“I want to take you to dinner.”
“Not that I would go to dinner with you anyway, but Marj and I are just about ready to sit down to eat. Felicia made some awesome spaghetti.”
“Oh, I think you’ll come to dinner with me.”
“And why in hell would I do that?”
“Because if you don’t, I’m going to make things really difficult for both you and Talon Steel come Monday morning.”
My heart lurched a bit, but I—hopefully—concealed it, willing myself to remain calm. “Seriously? You’re going to threaten me? Threatening an officer of the court? Threatening a defendant?” I looked over at Marj. “You’re my witness. He just made a threat.”
“That wasn’t a threat, Jade,” Colin said. “It was just a fact. You think this kind of thing doesn’t happen in court all the time? God, you are naïve.”
“If you don’t leave now,” Marjorie said, “I’ll call the cops and have you escorted off my property.”
“Simmer down, Marj,” Colin said. “This is between Jade and me.”
“Well, Jade is on my property and currently under my protection.”
Colin let out a snort. “Under your protection? What are you, a gangster now?”
“It’s a good thing my brothers aren’t here,” Marj said. “They’d kick the shit out of you again, and neither one of us would stop them.”
“You’d better watch what you say too,” Colin said. “That sounded kind of like a threat to me.”
“Just a fact.” Marj curled her lips into a saccharine smile.
I shook my head. “Colin, you think you’re so damned smart, but really what you are is arrogant. You don’t know anything about how the law works. Now get out of here.”
“Not until you agree to have dinner with me.”
“She will do no such thing,” Marj said.
“She has a mouth. Let her speak for herself.”
“I’ll tell you what. If I agree to go to dinner with you, will you be gone by Monday and just let this deal happen?”
Colin was silent a moment, his jaw clenched. Then, “All right. You’ve got a deal. You go to dinner with me tonight, and I won’t appear in court on Monday.”
“Fine.”
“Jade…” Marj began.
“And Marj is coming with us.”
“Oh, no. That wasn’t the deal.”
“The only deal was that I would have dinner with you, Colin. You didn’t specify that it would b
e a private dinner.”
“Come on, you know exactly what I meant.”
I pulled my best innocent face. “I’m afraid I didn’t. You know how naïve I am.”
“Fuck this. Forget dinner. I will see you in court on Monday at nine a.m. sharp.” He stomped off the deck.
Marj was gnawing on her bottom lip. “I hope he doesn’t make things really bad for Talon.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think he can.” I hoped to God I was telling the truth. “I’m the city attorney. This is my call. As long as the judge agrees to the plea…”
“What?”
This time I bit my lip. I didn’t know anything about the judge in the Snow Creek Municipal Court. Could Colin buy her off? He certainly had the money, and he was mad as a rabid dog right now, thinking Talon was going to get off after beating him to a near pulp a couple weeks ago.
“Do you know the judge, Marj?”
She shook her head. “No, not well. Everybody knows who we are though.”
Even if Colin couldn’t pay off the judge, he could still show up in court and outline all the conflicts I had in the case and screw up the deal. I couldn’t take the chance. I had to protect Talon. Without saying another word to Marj, I ran the other way through the house and caught Colin as he was getting into his car.
“I changed my mind. I’ll have dinner with you tonight, if you promise to leave and not come to court on Monday.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Talon
My brothers and I drove into town to Murphy’s Bar for a little celebration. It wasn’t every day we decided to dig up the past so we could bury it once and for all.
I ordered Peach Street, of course. Jonah ordered a CapRock martini, and Ryan ordered a glass of his own wine.
Sean Murphy chuckled as he poured it. “You come in here and pay me for what you get for free, Ry. Now that’s a damn good customer.”
“We like to support the businesses of Snow Creek.” Ryan lifted his glass.
Sean, being the nonintrusive bartender that he was, turned around and focused on his tasks at hand, leaving us to talk.
“I guess I’ll go back to that Dr. Carmichael,” I heard myself saying.
“Great, that means I don’t have to get Jade to move back in to get you to go,” Jonah said. “And she does come highly recommended.”
Joe was the one who had given me her name a few weeks ago. “How did you come by her name, anyway?” I asked him.
My brother cast his gaze to his martini. Even in the dimness of the bar, I could see his cheeks pink up a little.
“Well?”
“I…met her at a bar in Grand Junction one night.”
I cocked my head. “Are you serious? You sent me to a shrink you picked up in a bar?”
He jiggled his martini. “No, no, it wasn’t anything like that. I was in the city a couple months ago, you know, at the agricultural conference. There was some kind of psychological conference at the same hotel.”
“So you’ve met her.”
“Yeah.”
I took a drink. “Then how come you two acted like you didn’t know each other when you saw her at the ER after I fainted?”
Joe’s threaded his fingers through his black hair accented with silver. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to say ‘good to see you again’ and then not have her remember me…”
This was getting good. He liked her. “Okay, fine. So what happened at the bar?”
“I was down there in the evening, chatting with some of the guys, and Melanie…err, Dr. Carmichael…came in alone.”
“And you picked her up.”
“No, I didn’t pick her up. She was alone, and she looked kind of… I don’t know. You’ve seen her. She’s a looker.”
“Yep, blond and beautiful. Tall too.”
That got Ryan’s attention. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
“Anyway, there was an empty stool next to me, and she asked if it was taken. I said no. The guys I was talking to excused themselves, and then there we were. We just talked a little, and we exchanged cards. She said she was working on a book about recovering from childhood trauma.”
“So you naturally thought of me.”
“Well…yeah.”
“And that’s all? She wasn’t highly recommended?”
“Actually, she is highly recommended. When I found out what she did for a living, I Googled her first off. She’s handled lots of cases like yours. I also talked to some of the other attendees at the psychology conference. Apparently she gave a couple workshops that were very well attended and informative.”
“And you had the hots for her,” Ryan piped in.
Joe shook his head vehemently. “Nothing like that happened. I swear. I haven’t had a woman in…well, too long to tell you the truth.”
“Has her book come out yet? Maybe I’ll give it a read.” Not that it would matter. I had read heaps of books and research on cases like mine. It hadn’t helped me recover, but it did help to know I wasn’t alone in the world.
Joe shook his head. “Nope. It hasn’t come out yet, as far as I know. I check every now and then.”
“You check?”
“Yeah, what of it? I’m obviously interested in the subject too.”
“Joe, you do have the hots for her,” Ryan said, laughing.
“So I find her attractive. What’s the matter with that?”
“Nothing from where I’m standing, bro.” Ryan took a sip of wine. “So both my brothers are smitten.” He laughed again.
“Yeah, she’s nice to look at,” I said. Of course, she was no Jade. “That really doesn’t matter to me. Can she help us?”
Joe took a sip and then put down his drink. He turned and met my gaze. “Tal, you truly are ready, aren’t you?”
“I said I was, didn’t I?”
Joe shook his head. “I know what you said. But it’s that last word you said that clinched it for me.”
“Yeah? What did I say?”
“You said, ‘can she help us?’ Not ‘can she help me?’ You’re finally seeing us as a team here. That’s huge.”
I inhaled and let the air out slowly. “I’ve always seen it that way, Joe. It’s just…” It was just that they hadn’t gone through it. Yes, they had their own demons that they were fighting because of it, but they hadn’t lived the horrors. Hadn’t been beaten, starved, molested. “It’s just…”
Jonah placed his hand on my forearm. “I understand. I always have.”
Maybe he had always understood, in his own way. Maybe I hadn’t given him enough credit. I’d been so busy having my little pity party and trying to destroy myself that I hadn’t been able to see it. But I no longer wanted to destroy myself. I wanted to live. I finally had something to live for—Jade. And loving Jade had opened my eyes and restored my sight. I could finally see what else had always been there to live for—Joe, Ryan, Marjorie, my ranch.
And me.
I wanted to live for me.
I opened my mouth to try to put this into words to my brothers, but Joe squeezed my forearm.
“It’s okay, Tal. You don’t have to say it.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “Thanks,” I said gruffly.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Me either,” Ryan said. “I should be thanking you.”
“You have, Ry, many times. You don’t have to anymore.”
Awkward silence reigned for a few moments, until Jonah cleared his throat. “So how do you want to handle this, Tal? You take the lead on this. Do you want to go see the doc by yourself at first? You want us to go with you? Would you rather we not go at all? We’ll do this your way, won’t we, Ry?”
“Absolutely,” Ryan agreed.
“Thanks,” I said again. “I’ll go myself first. It’ll be difficult, and I don’t want you to see me like…that.”
“Talon,” Ryan began, “you don’t have to—”
“No, Ryan. This is his call.”
“Okay.”
My younger brother nodded.
“But if you guys want to go. I mean, if you feel like you have your own issues…” I let out a sigh. “I get it. I do. This has affected all of us. I haven’t been able to see anyone’s pain but my own, and I’m sorry for that.”
“Tal,” Jonah said, “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say ‘I’m sorry’ without wincing through it.” He let out a chuckle.
“I guess I’m seeing things a little differently these days.”
“A good woman can do that,” Ryan laughed.
“I don’t know that it’s Jade…” Yeah, right. They’d never buy that. “Okay, so it is Jade, but caring for Jade… Goddamn it… Loving Jade has made me see everything more clearly. Not just what I feel for her, but you guys, Marj, myself. Everything looks different now. I know I’ve been selfish.”
“Tal…” Ryan started.
“No, Ryan, let me say this. Just because I went through hell doesn’t give me the right to be a jerk. And I’ve been one. Hell… I’ve got to tell you… God, this is embarrassing…”
Joe started to speak, but I held up my hand to stop him. I had to do this.
“When I went into Grand Junction, sometimes it was to hook up with some one-night stand, but other times…”
“What?”
“Other times…I’d walk through skid row, purposely trying to get mugged, so I could beat up the muggers.” At my brothers’ shocked faces, I held up my hand again. “No, don’t worry. I never did any lasting damage. Heck, I didn’t beat them as much as I beat that asshole ex of Jade’s.” I looked up to the window.
And speak of the goddamned devil. I stood, anger raging beneath my skin. “Fucking A.”
Across the street, coming out of Enzio’s…
Ryan and Jonah stood.
“That’s Jade,” Ryan said. “Is that…?”
I nodded and walked out the door, my pulse racing. My brothers were close at my heels.
I crossed the street faster than a lightning bolt and was ready to pummel the bastard, when Joe pulled my arm back.