Privileged

by Stevens, Madison

“Please,” his voice was hoarse. “Just listen to me.”

  “About what?” I turned and trapped him with all the anger I felt. “You can kiss whomever you want.”

  “She kissed me,” he said.

  I snorted. “I can see you were really trying hard to get away.”

  I snapped my hand away from him and popped the lock manually. When the door opened, I stuck a leg out.

  “This,” I said quietly, “this is why we can’t work.”

  I got out and slammed the door behind me. When I heard the other door open and shut, I beeped the doors locked.

  “Well, well,” a familiar voice said from the side. “How have you been, Emma?”

  Chet. Shit. Why did it have to be then of all times? My knees went weak and stomach rolled as I struggled to remain upright.

  “Don’t you talk to her, Chet.” Gavin charged around the car to my side.

  Chet hadn’t changed over the past few years, still slicking his bright blonde hair and tanning far too much. Unsurprising, he looked like he’d had more than a few to drink and was itching to make someone miserable.

  “What?” Chet gave a smug smile “You just get done banging her?”

  My hand shot to Gavin’s chest before I even knew it had. He pushed against me toward him.

  “Shut your fucking mouth,” Gavin growled at him. His eyes blazed with a fury I had never seen before.

  “Let’s just go.” I slipped my hand a little lower to his stomach and felt the muscle ripple there.

  “Yeah,” Chet went on. “It’s great when they’re virgins. All tight and shit. Too bad she’s such a frigid bitch.”

  Gavin pushed past my hand, his fists already clenched in rage.

  “You got something to say?” Chet laughed as Gavin stalked him. “Or you just gonna lose it again? Did you tell her about that part of you? The psycho one that broke everything in my fucking room? The one that Mommy and Daddy had to sweep your shit under the rug?” Chet looked over to me now. “You must be doing something different for him than I got.”

  One second I was staring at his smug face, and the next he was on the ground. The crunch and howling yell that followed filled the air. Chet lay on the ground holding his gushing nose. Gavin stood over him, fist still clenched.

  His body drawn taut, he was poised for his next strike. Fear coursed through me. Aside from the one time I hit Chet, I had never even seen a fight. I hurried to Gavin and stepped in front of him.

  “Hey,” I said. Gavin continued to stare down Chet who was now behind me. I placed my hands on either side of his face and force him to look at me. “Let’s go,” I said softly.

  His eyes seemed to focus back on me. I could still feel the rage just below the surface, ready to burst out at any moment.

  To the right I head the rustle of leaves as others made their way over.

  “What’s going on, Em?” Grace called as she came around the corner, Dean and Julia not far behind.

  I took my hands away from his face and slid one into his hand. The other I tossed the keys to Dean.

  “Can you drive her to our place?” I said, talking over Grace.

  Dean nodded and stared between us all. Whatever he thought, he kept to himself and walked over to the car.

  “Em?” Grace stared between Gavin and myself.

  “I’ll explain at home.”

  Chet groaned behind me, and I turned to look at him.

  Disgust didn’t even begin to cover my feelings for him. I turned and pulled Gavin behind me toward his car.

  Without looking, I passed Julia along the way.

  “He’s my date,” she said with a sneer.

  “And now he’s mine,” I tossed back without stopping.

  Gavin’s hand tightened around my own.

  Silently, we walked to the car. I climbed into the passenger seat and waited for him to talk. Instead Gavin started the car and drove toward home.

  * * *

  When the car came to a stop, I waited for him to say something, but he sat grim-faced beside me in silence.

  “Gavin,” I said softly.

  “He’s right,” Gavin turned to look at me. “I went psycho that time.” His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “The idea of him touching you…” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

  “Hey.” I touched his arm, and when he finally looked over, I felt the years of pain.

  “I’m no good for you, but I can’t seem to stay away.”

  A lump formed in my throat as I took in his words. It was just sweet and sad. My heart ached at his words.

  “Let me stay,” he said quietly. “Let me stay tonight.”

  I opened his mouth as if to protest but stopped when he placed a rough finger to my lips.

  “Just sleeping.” He smiled. “I just want to hold you.”

  I nodded and his fingers fell away.

  We slipped back into the comfortable silence as we made our way to the dorm.

  Once inside Gavin walked past Dean and Grace to my bedroom and shut the door.

  Grace turned to me in awe. She opened her mouth, but stopped when I held up a hand.

  “Just sleep,” I said and laughed when she quirked a brow. “Really, just sleep.”

  “What happened?” Dean said from beside her.

  “Chet was a dick, so Gavin punched him,” I said simply.

  “And that’s it?” Grace crossed her arms.

  I shrugged. “That’s it.”

  “Just sleep? Because I swear if I hear my brother and bestie going at it, I’m going to vomit.” She scrunched up her nose as if the thought and I laughed.

  “Just sleep,” I said. “Good night, Dean. Thanks for the dance.”

  Dean grinned at me and nodded at me as if he were wearing his normal hat.

  Smiling, I walked toward my door and listened. No sound came from the other side.

  Slowly I went in and was shocked to find Gavin sitting on the edge of the bed in just a pair of jeans, his bare feet firmly on the floor, elbows crooked on his knee, his head in his hands..

  He looked up when the door shut. His face was drained from the day. Knocking off the boots first, I made my way to the bed. Keeping eye contact, I unhooked my bra from inside my shirt and slipped it through the arm hole. Next came the pants.

  As I slipped them down, Gavin turned and lay down on the other side of the bed. Not that there was much room to move being a twin. After my pants hit the floor, I reached up and unraveled the messy braid. After turning back, I found Gavin staring at me with interest. A red blush moved across his chest.

  “Do you need the light?” I asked.

  Gavin shook his head.

  I flicked off the light and dived under the warm covers. I tried to pull them further but found myself locked in on one side.

  “Gavin,” I said, touching his bare arm. “Get under the covers.”

  “That’s not such a good idea,” he said tightly.

  I sighed. “Gavin, I’m tired. We’re not doing anything. It will be fine.”

  The room was quiet for several moments. Finally, I felt the bed lift as he stood and there was rustling. The sound of his belt hitting the floor made me smile.

  A draft from his side of the bed filtered in as he flipped the covers down partway. He slipped in behind me. His cool chest pressed against my back. He slipped an arm around my middle, and I stiffened at the contact.

  “Thank you,” he whispered against my ear.

  Squeezing his hand, I tried to settle my breathing.

  Aside from my short time with Chet, I had actually never slept in a bed with a man. The feeling was strange and comforting in a way that hadn’t expected.

  Before long I felt his steady breathing and relaxed against him. He shifted slightly in his sleep to pull me closer to him. I found the move endearing and smiled sleepily. I didn’t know where this was going, but it might be worth finding out.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I woke up the next morning and stretched lazily. A few muscles
groaned at the pressure, and it took a few moments to figure out why. Slowly the night before came back to me. My hand shot out to the other side of the bed but found it cold and empty.

  Sounds filtered in from the living room, and I relaxed a little. I didn’t know what I was going to do with Gavin or how things would even work, but we could do this. He was worth it, and he obviously thought I was. Someone didn’t have feelings like that for someone the only mildly cared for.

  I sighed and brought the pillow over my now bright face. It seemed so wrong that I would find the out of control side of him so hot, but there it was. When he lost it over me I couldn’t help but get a little weak in the knees. Now some of the might be from the fright of it all, but there was more than a smidgen of lust mixed in there.

  The pillow flopped onto my chest, and I hugged it there. Things were just so different, and I didn’t know if I could keep up.

  The clatter of dishes in the sink roused me from my thought.

  I jumped up and made a run for the bathroom. Mouth clean and hair mostly tamed, I grabbed a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Barefoot, I headed for the living room.

  The sun was already filtering in, so it must have been after nine. I stopped when Grace came into view. Scanning the room, my stomach dropped. When I turned back to her, she seemed to look anywhere but my face.

  “Gavin said he had an early morning,” she said, looking out the window.

  My heart hit my throat. This was not a good way to start things. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to remember he might actually have things to do. He hadn’t planned on spending the night here and people actually did do work on Sundays. My stomach rolled. It wasn’t often and certainly Gavin wasn’t known to do this, but change happened.

  After a few moments, Grace looked back at me from the window. Her normally bright eyes had lost their unusual shine, and I was left felling apprehensive about the situation. Something had changed in her, and I felt broken despite not knowing why.

  “Mother called this morning,” she said flatly. “She’ll be picking us up for Thanksgiving break here in two weeks since the campus will be shut down.”

  I shrugged. Spending Thanksgiving week with the Lockes wouldn’t be much different than any other year, well except the undeniable attraction I shared with Gavin.

  “Sounds good,” I said.

  Her cold eyes hit me once more, and I shivered at the lack of warmth.

  “No, this year father only wants close friend and family.” She turned away and mumbled. “We’ll be spending the week with Julia and Chance.”

  I choked on the air in the room. Pain lanced through my chest.

  “You’ll what?” I whispered.

  Her hands gripped the sink, but she didn’t look back. “Sometimes things change.”

  Tears stung my eyes as I rushed from the room. My bedroom door banged shut behind me as I sank to the floor with my back to it. Large tears streamed down my cheeks and nose. A sob broke from my chest, and I couldn’t seem to stop.

  Being dismissed by Gavin was one thing, but Grace I couldn’t take. I took in a shuddered breath as another round of tears made their way out. We had been friends for so long. It just didn’t make any sense.

  My phone chimed above me on the desk.

  Two words.

  Gavin: I’m sorry.

  I squeezed my eyes, so I didn’t have to see the words. It hurt. More than it should.

  I looked back down. The previous text came into view and all started to add up.

  I wasn’t who they wanted Gavin with. Hundred to one this really came from Mr. Locke. He was the only one with enough power to maneuver this sort of thing.

  My phone rang loudly. Unknown flashed on the screen.

  “Leave me alone,” I cried into the receiver and hung up.

  I tossed my phone on the bed and buried my head into my hands.

  Going on without Gran was hard enough. I didn’t know if I could do this without Grace.

  I flopped from the floor onto the bed and buried my head into the pillow. I cried until my chest ached and throat hurt.

  After some time, the tears stopped flowing and I was able to think. Not just about how things sucked but about what I was going to do. If things were going to change then I needed to decide just where I was going to land in all of this.

  Only one thing was certain, I couldn’t trust anyone.

  * * *

  “So you have any big plans for the break?” Heather said as she flopped into the seat next to me.

  I had found over the last week that she was not only very funny but lots of fun to be around. We had actually made time to get to know one another, and it had gone well. Not that I planned on letting anyone in again, but it was nice to have someone to talk to.

  It had been very quiet around the house. I knew Grace was trying her best to not be home when I was and I was glad. Seeing her would have stirred emotions, which would lead to a fight. Part of me wanted to call her up and tell her what a chicken she was being, but it wouldn’t do any good. She had chosen class over friendship.

  Gavin, on the other hand, had been harder to avoid. Monday rolled around, and he was there. This time he sat several seats over from me. It was far enough that we weren’t talking but too close to really be out of my life.

  My smile to Heather faltered as he walked into the class, jeans slung low on his hips. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping so well. A shadow seemed to hang around him. I shook my head. This wasn’t my problem. They were the ones to cut me out, not the other way around.

  “I’m going to my Gran’s house and that’s about it,” I said, trying to maintain the smile.

  I could feel his eyes on my back and tried to ignore his presence.

  “Oh that sounds nice.” Heather smiled brightly. I was certain she knew there was something up between Gavin and myself but being a nice person, she never pushed. “Does your Gran make a big meal?”

  I smiled sadly. “She used to. I’m actually going to sort through some of her things she left me.”

  Worry knitted Heather’s brow. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

  I shook my head and smiled. “Not a problem. It’s been a while. Going to be weird being there with her not around.”

  “You aren’t going to do this alone are you?” I could see her glance over my shoulder and tried not to picture him sitting there.

  I shifted uncomfortably. “I invited Dean, but he’s going to visit his family on the break,” I said. “You wouldn’t be interested, would you?”

  Heather laughed and put her arm around me. “I thought you’d never ask.” She smiled and leaned in. “Now I’ve got to go to my grandparents during the first half, but I can join you on Friday. There’s a great dive just off the water that we can go to with lots of pretty women.” She wrinkled her nose. “Or men, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

  I laughed for the first time in a week and started to feel better about the trip. I scrawled the address onto the paper and smiled at James as he entered the class.

  There were things this week had taught me. If I wanted things to go my way, then I’d need to learn to do a little more ass kissing. Not only had I signed up for the class with James next semester, but I was joining a small group to discuss what we were learning. It wasn’t my idea of fun, but if I wanted to get ahead then I needed to start playing the game.

  As James leered at Heather and me together, I suppressed a shudder. Next semester was going to be more difficult than I expected.

  “Before we begin our discussion of Wuthering Heights, I’d like to mention your assignment over fall break.” He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “When we get back we’ll only have one more class together, a week to study, and then finals.”

  My heart skipped at the idea of this class finally being over. I’d get to move on from all this stuff with Gavin and concentrate on the important stuff.

  “So,” James began as he paced the front area. “Since we’re talking about love and relatio
nships,” he continued and I groaned inwardly, “I would like for everyone to find one line that sums up what you feel about love.”

  James surveyed the class, and I plastered on the fake smile. Great, not only did I need to find something I could live with saying but something that wouldn’t damage my standing with James.

  Couldn’t I just bang my head against the table to show the bloody mess for how I feel? I could certainly be less messy than the actual thing.

  “Take your time on this. There is no right or wrong answer.” I swallowed and looked down at the paper I was doodling on.

  “So, Wuthering Heights, what do you all think so far?” I kept my eyes cast down and prayed he didn’t call on me. “Emma, care to share?”

  I cursed in my head and looked up. “Well…” How to handle this? “I think it’s a very sad story that doesn’t really have a loud happy ending.”

  I smiled. That was more than a little diplomatic. I leaned back and enjoyed the moment. Maybe next semester wasn’t going to be as bad as I was thought.

  Chapter Fourteen

  After putting the last of the things into the car, I stood frozen as the limo made its way to our dorm doors. My stomach dropped, and I knew there was no avoiding seeing Mrs. Locke.

  The tall slender blonde stepped out into the chilled air. The cold stare she shot me struck something deep. This woman had never even looked at me the wrong way, if only to appease my mother.

  A tight smile spread over her thin lips, and I now understood what she and her husband had in common. They were willing to crush anyone that got in their way.

  “Hello, Emma dear.” She leaned forward to give a half, non-touching hug. “I’m so sorry about Thanksgiving this year, but I’m sure you understand wanting to keep it just to close friends and family.”

  I plastered on my own fake smile. “That’s no problem. I have my grandmother’s estate to look over.”

  “Oh that’s wonderful dear.” She stared, distracted, over my shoulder. I could feel the heat rising at the obvious dismissal.

  “Besides, it’s the perfect opportunity to see what my mother has been up to.” Her sharp eyes turned back to me and, for a flicker, I saw the real Helen Locke.