“No,” he answered. “I got hurt pretty bad. The doctors say I can't play anymore. If I do and get hurt again, I may not be able to recover. How was college?”
“I didn't go to college,” she answered quickly. “What are you going to do now?”
“I'm not sure,” he said. “I am going to buy a house. I want to coach football and do something working with kids who can't afford to play. I'm not sure what yet, but I plan on starting something. I want to help kids who were like me when I was little. I want them to have something to look forward to and someone to be there for them. Why did you not go to college? You knew exactly what you wanted to do. College was a very important part of your plan. We talked about it all the time. When I left, you were going.”
Why did he still have to be so wonderful, she thought? She could not believe he was sitting there telling her how he wanted to help kids without money and kids who did not have their dads. He had not changed one bit. Luke was still the most amazing man she had ever met. Just as she went to say something, Heather walked up and sat on Luke's lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. At the same time, Tammy, Leslie, and John walked up.
Jessica stood up quickly.
“I have to go,” Jessica said.
John reached out and grabbed her arm.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Jessica pulled her arm from his hand.
“I'm fine,” she said. “I need to leave.”
She moved her way through the people as fast as she could and hurried out the front door. Jessica ran down the driveway, got in her car, and drove down the street. She stopped a few streets over, parked her car, put her face in her hands, and cried. Why was he going to stay? When she found out he was not able to play football, she thought for sure he would stay where he was. Not for one second, did she think he would move home. He had not been in town for more than a day in the last seven years. She thought for sure she was over him, but after seeing him that night, she realized she would never be over him. He was her one and only love. She had dated here and there over the years, but never anything more than a couple of dates. Seeing Heather plop down on his lap and kiss his cheek was more than she could handle. She sat in her car and cried for what seemed like hours. Finally, she dried her face and drove home.
Chapter 5
Luke
Not long after Jessica left, Luke decided to go home. Heather wanted to stay, so she said she would get John to drive her home. Luke drove straight home and went to bed. All he could think about was Jessica. He could not believe she was at the party. She had on a revealing red dress. He was shocked at how low cut it was. Her beautiful brown eyes sucked him in, just as they always had. He wanted to wrap his hands in her long brown hair and pull her in for a kiss. She was prettier than he remembered. He pictured her in his mind a million times over the years, but she took his breath away that night. Why had she gotten so upset and ran when Heather touched him, he wondered? Jessica had broken up with him without any explanation. She had no right to get upset with him.
Jessica was his love. She was the reason he had never been home. The day he was leaving for college, she broke his heart. She never even told him why. He loved her and thought they were going to be together forever and have a family. He called her a few times a week for the first month he was gone. They would talk about what they had been doing, but each time he brought up their relationship, she would find a reason to hang up the phone. The last time he had called her, she acted different. Something had changed, but he had no idea what it was. She was short with him and he felt like he was inconveniencing her. When they ended the call, he told her he loved her. She didn't respond and just hung up. That was when he decided to stop calling her. He never understood why she didn't want to be with him anymore. Was there someone else? Did she not love him anymore? Was he not good enough for her?
When he saw Jessica at the party, he wanted to be mad at her. Every ounce of him wanted to ignore her, but there was something in her eyes when she looked at him. She looked so sad. When they talked, she seemed like a different person. His heart broke for her. When she ran off, he had no idea what was going through her mind.
Luke's mind wandered to their conversation earlier that night. She had a plan when they graduated high school. They were both going to college. He wanted to play professional football and she wanted to start her own business. It was very important to her. When he asked her about college at the party, she told him that she never went. It did not make any sense to him. He leaned back in his bed wondering. What had prevented her from her going after her dreams? She worked with Linda, so she never went on to open her own business. He tried to figure out if it was because of her family. They were happy about her going to college, so he did not think that was it.
He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. No matter what he did, he kept thinking about her. Was she married? Did she have a family? Did someone sweep her off her feet? Was she with someone better than him? Had she ever loved him? Luke let out a sigh as he closed his eyes again.
When Luke woke up, he felt exhausted. He knew he had only slept for a couple of hours, before he heard his mom moving around and smelled bacon. He threw on some clothes and made his way to the kitchen.
“How was your party?” she asked.
“It was okay,” he said. “Do you remember Jessica?”
“Yes, how could I forget her?” she asked. “She was a nice girl.”
“When is the last time you saw her?” he asked.
“I have not seen her in years,” she answered. “I heard she bought a house on same street as the high school, but I have never run into her anywhere. I see her mom from time to time, but she never mentions Jessica. She only talks about Renee.”
“Is she married?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” she said.
He finished his breakfast in silence and then went back to his room. Luke looked her up on the internet. He wanted to find her address. An address came up under her maiden name. If she got married, she had done it after she bought the house. It said she had lived there for six years. That was strange. She must have bought her house not long after he left. Why wouldn't she stay with her parents? She hadn't planned to move out until after she graduated from college. What had happened to her, he wondered?
Luke got dressed and headed out the door. He told his mom he was going to be looking at houses all day and that he would see her around dinner time. Luke knew how important it was to his mom that he was home. He tried to have breakfast and dinner with her each day. She would get used to him being home and he wouldn't feel like he had to be around as much. He was all she had. His father had taken off just after he was born. It was important to Luke that his mom was happy. If having him around made her happy, then he would make sure to be around as much as he could.
He got into his car and left. The address he found was on the same street as the high school, so he headed in that direction. Luke was nervous about what he was doing. He had no reason to go past her house. She probably had a husband and kids. There was no reason for what he was about to do. He knew he needed to move on. Maybe if he saw her happy family, he would realize and let go. He started down the street and looked down at the address on the paper. Slowly he drove down the street until he found the number that matched the one he had.
Luke pulled up in front of the house next to it and parked his car. There was only one car in her driveway. It was the same car he saw pull away from the party as he raced out the door after her. It was a house she used to hang out at after school. It belonged to one of her friend's parents. They had both spent time together sitting on the front porch steps at the end of the school day and after football games. The house was cute and he could tell some work at been done to fix it up, probably by her husband. The thought of her being with another man made his stomach sick.
He sat looking at the house, when he heard a laugh. A small child ran into the front yard from around the side of th
e house. A moment later, Jessica ran out from the side and tackled the child. They both rolled onto their backs as they laughed. The two of them stayed still for a moment and then made snow angles, before they got up. When the child stood up, he noticed it was a little boy with dark brown hair. Jessica stood up and brushed the snow from her jeans. Her long brown hair sparkled from the snow as she brushed her hands through her hair and laughed. Luke watched as the little boy started to roll snow for a snowman. He sat there for a few minutes. The little one looked to be around six or seven years old. Luke's chest tightened and he felt like he could not breathe.
Jessica seemed so happy. The two of them making a snowman was adorable. She had never been very good at making snowballs or rolling a snowman. In high school, he had always had to start the ball rolling for her. Luke wondered about her husband and little boy's father. Was she happy? What did the man have that he didn't? Luke knew he didn't have money and couldn't give her huge gifts, when they were in high school. He didn't think she minded. She seemed so happy with him, until that day she broke his heart. The more he thought about her being married, the more upset he got. He thought more about the little boy. If he was six, then she would have had to have gotten pregnant right after he left for college.
Had she been with someone else while they were together, or had she jumped right into bed with someone as soon as he left town? It sure did not take her long to move on. Luke had never moved on. He was devastated when he left. It had taken him months to even talk to a woman. He was so hurt, while she was having a good time with someone else.
Luke had never let himself fall in love again. He had one-night stands most of the time. A few times, he went out with the same woman for a couple of weeks. He never let himself have feelings for any of the women. It was all about sex for him. There was no way he was letting anyone hurt him again.
The more he thought about Jessica having a family, the more furious he became. It was supposed to be him having a family with her. He was so mad at her. If he had known, he could have moved on from her. He never knew why she broke up with him and always wondered it they would end up together. Not anymore. He wasted years thinking about her, and for what, no reason at all. Luke had worried about her all the time. He wondered if she was okay and if she had her own business. If he had known years ago, what he had seen that day, he would have saved himself a lot of time and worry. He shook his head and let out a growl, as he started his car and drove away.
Chapter 6
Jessica
Their snowman was finished. He was perfect. They named him Sam. He had eyes, a nose, and a mouth. They put a scarf on him so he would not get cold. Jessica took her little man into the house to warm up. Their snowman was in the yard, in front of their window, so he could look out at it every day. He took off his coat and boots and sat on the couch, looking out at his snowman. Jessica took off her coat and boots and headed to the kitchen. She put on water for hot chocolate.
“Do you think daddy would like my snowman?” he asked. “Did he like to play in the snow?”
“He would love it,” she answered. “Yes, he loved to play in the snow.”
“Do you have marshmallows mama?” he yelled from the couch.
“Yes,” she answered.
“Should we give the snowman some hot chocolate?” he asked.
“No, he likes the cold,” she answered, as she laughed.
She made their hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows and turned on a cartoon. He sat snuggled on her lap, as he drank his warm drink and watched his show. She hugged him tight, as she thought back to the night before.
She thought about the moment she looked up and saw those beautiful blue eyes, as Luke walked through the door at the party. Her heart raced just thinking about it. She was shocked when he asked her about college. Jessica thought for sure he already knew she had not went. She knew she had to get away from the party. He would have asked her more questions, and she wasn't sure how she would have answered him. When she saw Heather touch him, she thought she was going to pass out. Why did he have to be in town? Why didn't he stay away? How many times would she have to run into him? How was she going to make sure to avoid him? She felt tears run down her cheeks. Jessica did not want her son to see her cry. She scooted him onto the couch and told him she had to go get something from her room and would be right back.
She went to her bedroom and fell onto her bed in a pile of tears. Jessica reached under her bed and pulled out a box. Her hands shook as she took off the lid. Slowly she sifted through the contents as tears rushed faster down her face. Pull it together, she told herself. If he is going to stay, you have to figure out how to move on. It was easier when she could just watch his games on television. Everything was much different seeing him in person.
***
Her mind went back to that day he left for college. She sat with him, wrapped in his arms. Jessica knew she was about to do the hardest thing she would ever do. She knew if he was going to play football for college, he would never be home. There would always be somewhere to go with the team. He would be so busy with studying, practicing, games, and traveling. His ultimate dream was to play professional. He needed to keep his head completely on football. She was going to school close to home, so she could save her parents money. There was no way they could afford to send her to University of Michigan. She knew Luke would not be able to come home and she would not be able to visit. There only communication would be by phone or internet. She loved him more than anything in the world. He was her love, her everything. She also knew that for his dreams to come true, she needed to let him go.
She wanted him to have an amazing life. His father had left when he was young. It was always him and his mom. At college, he would be able to live for himself. She wanted that for him. He did not need to think about her while he was gone or wonder what she was doing. She wanted him to be free and live. He would have so much to get used to and so much to do. She wanted every decision he made to be for him. Jessica did not want to hold him back.
Jessica remembered the look on his face as she told him she did not want to be with him anymore. He was devastated. She had no good excuse, only that it would be too hard with him so far away. No matter what he said to tell her they would make it, she shook her head. She told him she wanted to stay in touch while he was away, but he was not sure he could do that. She could still remember the look on his face as she got into her car and drove away.
When Jessica got home, she cried for hours. There was a hole in her heart and she was devastated. She knew she made the right decision for Luke's future. Her sister sat with her every day for weeks. Renee tried to tell her it would get easier, but she really had no idea.
Luke called her a few times a week. They would talk about football or what she had been doing. After about a month, he quit calling. She couldn't believe it. What happened? Each time her phone would ring, she would get excited, but it was never him. She could not figure out what happened that he quit calling so suddenly. If he had slowed down his calls, she would have figured he was moving on. He had called her twice the previous week, and everything seemed the same as the week before. The last day she talked to him, she was not feeling well and it felt so good to hear his voice. The next week, she was excited and waiting for his call. She had something she wanted to tell him. His call never came.
Maybe he found someone else. She was sure he had found someone else. That was when she made another huge decision. She decided not to interrupt his life and to let him have his dream.
***
Jessica heard a small knock on her bedroom door and snapped back into reality.
“Mom, are you coming back out?” a little voice asked. “I want to decorate the tree.”
“I will be out in one second. Let me put something away,” she said.
She heard little footsteps fade back to the living room. Jessica put the lid back on the box and slid it back under the bed. She sat for a few minutes longer to dry her tears and then made her
way back out to finish her hot chocolate, which no longer had marshmallows. She laughed when she looked over at her little boy as he laughed.
Jessica had her tree put together before her son woke up that morning. She pulled all of the boxes from the attic so they could decorate. They turned on some holiday music and began decorating. She did the lights, while he put on the ornaments. He put them wherever he wanted, and she promised not to move them. She added a few to the top of the tree where he could not reach. Her favorite ornaments were the ones he made at daycare or school. Those were displayed perfectly in the middle of the tree.
When the tree was done, they stood back to admire their work. He was already busy with coloring, when she decided to make some cookies. Jessica went into the kitchen to prepare what they needed before he came in to help her. She was looking out the kitchen window thinking, when her phone rang and she jumped. She reached in her purse, as she juggled the things in her other hand and put the phone to her ear.
“Hey sis, how are you?” Renee chirped from the other end of the line.
“Okay. We made a snowman, decorated the tree, and are getting ready to make some cookies. How are you?” Jessica answered.
Jessica had mentioned to Renee, when she went home the night before, that she had seen Luke at the party. Her sister sat with her and hugged her while she cried. Jessica figured Renee was calling to check up on her. Even though her sister was two years younger than her, she had helped her through so much.
“I'm missing all that fun for work,” Renee laughed. “I don't have to work tomorrow and figured you could use a couple of hours to relax. Can I take little man tomorrow? I want to take him shopping.”
“If you want to,” Jessica answered. “We don't have anything planned. Are you sure?”
“I'm sure,” Renee said. “I need some time with my favorite nephew. We need some bonding time. I miss his little face. I will pick him up at noon. Is that cool?”
A Love Rekindled (The Game of Love #1) Page 2