No Turning Back

by Susan Lewis

  It was from Johnny Johnson, the private investigator, who’d included a hard copy of the email he’d sent almost two months ago apologising for not being able to help with her search and informing her that Nick Jensen had written the letter to Saturday Siesta. Clearly Mr Johnson was much quicker off the mark with his investigations than he was with his accounts, Eva reflected.

  After writing Mr Johnson a cheque and slotting it into an envelope she sat thinking about Nick for a while, feeling, to her surprise, less anger towards him than usual, as she wondered where he might be now and what he was doing. Of course it would be the easiest thing in the world to find out, she only had to pick up the phone to Bobbie, but she wouldn’t, because all she actually wanted from Nick Jensen was to know where their son might be. And if he knew that, so would Bobbie, and since Bobbie would never have kept that information from her, she was being ludicrous all over again even to think this way.

  So what should she think about? Patty and Don? Christmas looming on the horizon? She’d considered inviting Elaine to keep her, Rosie and Elvis company on the big day, but maybe Patty had already beaten her to it. Even if she hadn’t, their stepmother would be bound to feel horribly torn between them, so maybe she, Eva, ought not to put her through it. Livvy would probably feel torn too, and Jake. And then there were Don’s brothers and their wives, who always came to Dorset for the celebrations. She wondered if they’d already arranged to go and stay with Don and Patty at the barn. The very thought of everyone celebrating together around Patty’s table, the turkey in the Aga, the wine flowing, a roaring fire, silly hats, gaily wrapped presents was tearing her apart inside. Both her sisters-in-law had been in touch after the break-up to say how sorry they were, and to insist that if there was anything they could do she must let them know. She hadn’t heard from either of them since, but there again she hadn’t contacted them either.

  ‘Do you reckon we ought to chase up our Christmas cards?’ Livvy said, coming back into the office. ‘We put the order in ages ago, so they should have been here by now.’

  ‘I’ll do it,’ Eva told her. ‘We probably ought to start thinking about what we’re going to put in the window too.’

  Livvy tilted her head to one side, as though trying to get a better look at Eva’s face.

  ‘What?’ Eva asked.

  ‘Nothing. Except, I guess … Well, I don’t suppose you’re looking forward to Christmas much, are you?’

  Eva’s eyes went down. ‘Not really,’ she confessed, ‘but there are a lot of people out there who are a lot worse off than I am, so I’m going to try my best not to feel too sorry for myself.’

  Livvy stood looking at her for a while.

  Eva threw out her hands. ‘Wasn’t that a good enough answer?’

  ‘It was great,’ Livvy assured her, ‘I’m just like, you never know, it might not turn out to be as bad as you think.’

  As Eva’s heart turned over she tried to smile.

  ‘Honestly, it might not,’ Livvy insisted. ‘I mean, anything could happen between now and then.’

  Getting to her feet, Eva said, ‘If you’ve found a way of turning back time, then that would probably do it, but since I guess you probably haven’t I’ll love you anyway for your optimism and make sure Santa sees you’re properly rewarded.’

  ‘Actually, I reckon you’re the one he’s got his eye on,’ Livvy told her mischievously, ‘but then, show me a bloke who hasn’t?’

  Laughing, Eva said, ‘I know you don’t expect me to answer that, so tell you what, I won’t.’

  ‘And you haven’t told Eva any of this?’ Elaine was saying the next morning, as she took the cup of tea Patty was passing her.

  ‘I dare not,’ Patty replied, sitting down at the table where she’d been going through the household accounts when Elaine turned up. ‘At least, not until we know if the girl is genuine.’

  Elaine nodded agreement. ‘It would be awful to get her hopes up, only to find out it’s all some ghastly scam on the part of some tabloid hack trying to make a name for themselves.’

  ‘That’s what Don’s afraid of, and given the timing of this girl’s sudden appearance on the scene, straight after all the coverage for the show … Except Livvy says the girl has been in the shop before.’

  Elaine looked interested.

  ‘They thought she was a shoplifter,’ Patty said wryly. ‘Apparently Jasmine even threw her out once, which I suppose ought to make us wary in itself, in case the girl’s after some sort of revenge.’

  Elaine looked doubtful about that.

  ‘So do you think there’s a chance she does know where he is?’ Patty asked hopefully.

  ‘Of course it’s possible,’ Elaine replied, ‘but you already know that. The big question for me, if it is genuine, is what role are his adoptive parents playing in it all?’

  Having asked herself the same question a hundred times, Patty sighed as she stared down at her tea. ‘I’ve no idea,’ she answered. ‘The girl says she’s his cousin so I guess she must know them – I wonder if she realised that Livvy’s his cousin too?’

  Elaine watched her walk to the sink and waited until she seemed to reconnect with the fact that she wasn’t alone. ‘I mean if it is him,’ Patty finally added.

  ‘Come and sit down,’ Elaine said gently.

  Looking surprised, Patty said, ‘I’m fine.’

  Elaine smiled. ‘And I didn’t even ask.’

  Patty seemed confused.

  ‘If you don’t mind me saying, you look awful,’ Elaine told her bluntly. ‘How much weight have you lost since all this happened?’

  ‘I’ve no idea. It doesn’t matter …’

  ‘Yes it does, and I happen to know Don is worried about you too, which is mainly why I’m here.’

  ‘Why? What did he say?’

  ‘Just that, that he’s worried, and seeing you now, so am I. You’re not yourself, Patty, that much is clear, and I have a feeling you’ve been avoiding me lately, so let’s put an end to that, shall we, and try to get to the bottom of …’

  ‘There’s nothing to get to the bottom of,’ Patty interrupted. ‘Honestly, everything’s fine. We just need to get this sorted out for Eva …’

  ‘Which will happen in its own time. Meanwhile, you’ve got something bottled up there that …’

  ‘Guilt!’ Patty broke in with an unsteady laugh. ‘That’s what it is, pure guilt. I’ve stolen my sister’s husband and now I’m trying to live with it. Or him – and I don’t know if I can do either.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ Elaine murmured. ‘This is very much what I was afraid of.’ Her eyes didn’t let go of Patty’s for a moment. ‘But that’s not everything, is it?’ she challenged quietly.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Patty countered.

  Elaine waited for her to answer the question herself.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Patty insisted.

  Folding her hands together, Elaine kept her tone gentle as she said, ‘You must show Eva the note your mother left.’

  As Patty’s eyes closed her fists clenched at her sides. ‘Why does everyone always care so much about Eva?’ she seethed. ‘What about me, and the way I feel? Don’t I count for anything? Am I so … so … Oh for God’s sake …’ As she started to break down, Elaine went to take her in her arms.

  ‘I’m OK, I’m fine,’ Patty told her.

  ‘No you’re not,’ Elaine argued, ‘far from it, in fact, which is what happens when your conscience is eating away at you.’

  ‘I told you …’

  ‘Please, listen. I’d like you to come and stay with me at the retreat for a few days.’

  Patty shook her head. ‘I can’t. I have to work, and I need to be here for Don. No, Elaine. I really appreciate the way you’re trying to help me, but I’m fine, honestly.’

  ‘Then your definition of fine is very different to mine. However, I won’t try to force you, I just want you to think over what I’ve said, about the note, and about coming to stay, and if you cha
nge your mind you know where I am.’

  ‘Thanks, Dad,’ Jasmine said, opening the car door to get out.

  ‘Don’t I get a kiss?’ he protested.

  Leaning back towards him, she planted a dutiful peck on his cheek and picked up her bag.

  ‘You know, if there’s anything you want …’ he began.

  ‘I’m cool.’

  ‘How are things with your mother?’

  With an exasperated sigh, she said, ‘You could have asked me that when we were at the cafe having breakfast, so why are you bringing it up now? You’re going to make me late.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I guess I should have. Are you – are you OK about staying at Eva’s? You know you’d be very welcome at the barn.’

  ‘Oh what, and just dump Eva the way you did? That would be really nice of me, wouldn’t it? But then you’re used to doing things like that.’

  Smarting, he said, ‘Jas, I swear, leaving my wife isn’t something I make a habit of.’

  Jasmine’s face was strained as she replied, ‘Funny, that’s not how it looks from where I am.’

  Sighing, he tried to reach for her hands but she snatched them away. ‘You might not believe this,’ he said softly, ‘but no one means more to me than you.’

  Her voice was choked with tears as she snapped, ‘Then how come Eva’s the only one who ever makes me feel like I matter?’ and springing out of the car she slammed the door shut and hurried off out of the car park, knowing she’d be long gone before he could turn his enormous Merc around, or even park it to come after her.

  With bitter tears stinging her eyes, she marched up South Street, wishing with all her heart that she could leave home altogether and come to live here, with Eva and Livvy, and never have to see either of her parents again. Except her father was in Dorset, of course, so there was no getting away from him, and for him to have said that she meant more to him than anyone was total, utter rubbish, because he never showed it and anyway she didn’t want him to care about her. She had her job now, and she was going to do well in her A levels, and at uni, and when the time came she was going to ask Eva if she could become her business manager, or something like that, because more than anything she wanted to carry on being a part of Perdita’s. Livvy might even let her share the flat upstairs, or maybe Livvy would have moved into a bigger place by then, because she was obviously going to be rich and famous.

  She didn’t see two girls coming out of the Electric Cinema café until one of them jostled into her and stepping aside she was about to treat them to a filthy look when she recognised them as the girls she’d practically thrown out of the shop.

  Quickly putting her head down, she hurried on.

  ‘Hey, wait!’ one of them shouted. ‘Are you the girl who works at Perdita’s?’

  Terrified, Jasmine swerved round a market stall, darted in past the next one, then dashed down the lane to the shop.

  ‘Blimey, what’s up with you?’ Livvy cried, as Jasmine practically threw herself in through the door and shut it behind her. ‘Are you OK?’

  Jasmine tried to nod. She was looking back down the lane, praying she hadn’t been followed. ‘I think so,’ she panted. ‘Oh God, they scared the hell out of me.’

  ‘Who?’ Livvy asked, coming to peer down the lane with her.

  ‘Those girls. You remember, the ones I threw out, they were only …’

  ‘Oh my God, you’ve seen them?’ Livvy clasped hold of her. ‘Where are they? What did they say? No, don’t worry about that, just stay here,’ and tearing open the door she took off down the lane into South Street, searching frantically for a little blonde fountain of a ponytail and a dyed-black shaggy thatch with luminous pink streaks. Spotting them outside the Electric Cinema, she ran breathlessly up to them. ‘Sadie? I’m Livvy, remember? You came in …’

  ‘Of course I remember,’ Sadie interrupted. ‘I was just coming to see you.’

  ‘Oh thank God, thank God,’ Livvy gasped with a laugh. ‘What you asked me about my aunt …?’

  Sadie regarded her warily.

  Suddenly overcome, Livvy choked, ‘Oh God, look at me,’ trying to wave her tears away. ‘It’s … I think you could … What I’m trying to say is my mother would like to talk to you. I’ll call her right now. She’ll come straight away.’

  Patty was turning into Duck Lane on her way to Seatown when Livvy rang. Using the steering-wheel controls to click on, she said, ‘Hi darling, did you get my message earlier …’

  ‘Mum, listen!’ Livvy cut in excitedly. ‘Sadie came back. She’s here with me now, at the shop with her friend Tara. And Mum, wait for this … Oh my God … his name’s Richie and he only lives in Chard!’

  Unable to continue driving Patty pulled in to the side of the road, struggling to hold back her emotions. His name was Richie. And Chard was just over the county border in south Somerset, no more than twenty miles away.

  ‘Are you still there?’ Livvy cried. ‘Oh please don’t say we’ve been cut off.’

  Making herself speak, Patty said, ‘I’m still here.’

  ‘Mum, you have to come. They said they’ll wait. Where are you?’

  Having lost a sense of her surroundings, Patty tried to think. ‘Uh, not far, I can be there in ten minutes. Where’s Eva?’

  ‘At home doing her charity stuff, the way she always does on Saturdays.’

  ‘OK, but take the girls for a coffee just in case she decides to come into the shop. We need to be absolutely sure about this before we break anything to her. Can Jasmine manage on her own for an hour?’

  ‘I guess so. I don’t see why not. Actually, it’s down to her that we found them, only she ran away from them because she didn’t realise we were looking for them.’

  Breaking into a tearful laugh, Patty said, ‘But you’ve got them now. This is great news, Livvy. Do you really think they’re telling the truth?’

  ‘Yeah, actually, I do, but you need to speak to them yourself.’

  Still dazed by it all, and afraid in case it didn’t work out, Patty replied, ‘OK, just don’t let them go.’

  After ringing off and turning the car round, she connected to Don. ‘The girl Sadie has turned up,’ she told him, her voice thick with tears. ‘She and her friend are with Livvy at the shop. I’m on my way there now. Apparently his name … His name’s Richie. Oh God,’ she sobbed as she laughed. ‘Do you think it’s going to be all right? They’re not tricking us, are they?’

  ‘I’m going to dare to hope not,’ he said. ‘Do you want me to come with you? I can be there in ten.’

  ‘No, both of us might be too much. I think it should be just me and Livvy for now. Apparently Jasmine found them.’

  ‘Does Jasmine know?’

  ‘I presume she must by now. She’s going to be at the shop on her own while Livvy’s with me, so it might be a good opportunity to go and have a chat with her, if there aren’t too many people around, you know, explain things a little.’

  ‘OK, will do. Now listen, I want you to go into this carefully, because we still don’t know what motive they might have for tracking Eva down, or, more to the point, how they’ve managed it.’

  ‘I hear you,’ Patty replied, ‘but let’s try to stay optimistic.’

  ‘Of course,’ he said softly, clearly wanting to offer the right encouragement.

  *

  Twenty minutes later Patty walked into the Electric Cinema cafe to find Livvy tucked into a far corner, with two teenage girls. As she threaded her way through the tables to join them she couldn’t help being aware of how apprehensive she was feeling – and relieved to see no one she knew.

  ‘Sadie, Tara,’ Livvy said, as Patty reached them, ‘this is my mum, Patty. Like I already told you, she’s Eva’s sister.’

  Smiling at the girls, Patty shook hands with the blonde one. She guessed she was Sadie, given the silver S dangling from a chain round her neck. She was as petite and clear-complexioned as a doll, and indeed looked like one with her wide blue eyes and rosebud lips. The othe
r girl was heavier and wearing far too much make-up, Patty thought, but most kids did these days, including Livvy, so she wasn’t going to hold that against her.

  ‘We’ve ordered some coffees,’ Livvy told her as she sat down, ‘and then we thought we probably ought to wait for Sadie’s mum to get here. She’s on her way and she wants to talk to you, if that’s OK?’

  Surprised, but pleased by this unexpected news, Patty looked at Sadie as she said, ‘Of course. Is she in Bridport, or does she …’

  ‘She’s at my nan’s down in West Bay,’ Sadie informed her, ‘so she should be here any minute.’

  Patty glanced at the other girl, then back again. ‘And – and Richie?’ she dared to ask, the unreality of it making her emotional all over again.

  Sadie shrugged. ‘He’s at home, I think, or he might have gone to watch his mates play rugger. He’s the team captain, but he got an injury a couple of weeks ago so they’re not letting him back in the side until he’s properly fit.’

  Feeling an instinctive surge of concern, Patty said, ‘I hope it wasn’t anything serious?’

  ‘Something to do with his shoulder, but he says he’s fine.’

  Sitting back as their coffees were delivered, Patty waited for the server to leave before saying, ‘So you’re his cousin?’

  Sadie nodded as she took a sip of her cappuccino. ‘His dad is my dad’s brother, only his dad died about four years ago.’

  Patty wasn’t entirely sure how to react to that, but was saved from saying anything as Sadie suddenly called out, ‘Mum! Over here.’

  Turning around, Patty saw a petite, harried-looking woman with neat fair hair and large anxious eyes coming towards them. Her parka coat had seen better days, as had her bag, but since she hadn’t expected to be meeting anyone new today, least of all Richie’s natural aunt, Patty could only wish that she wasn’t dressed quite so smartly herself. ‘Hi, I’m Patty Preston,’ she said, getting to her feet and holding out a hand to shake.

  The woman’s face relaxed a little as she smiled. ‘Isabelle Larch,’ she said, taking Patty’s hand. ‘Everyone calls me Izzie.’