The Bad Girl and the Baby (Cutting Loose)

by Nina Croft

  “No, we’re not. But thanks. I’m pretty sure you saved Matt here from doing something he was sure to regret.”

  “Really?”

  Both of them studied him, and he held himself very still to avoid squirming. He considered denying it, but hadn’t he thought the same thing only seconds before?

  “I haven’t known him long,” Darcy continued, “but long enough to know that Matt here”—she waved a hand in his direction—“likes things in their proper place.”

  “And his proper place isn’t screwing around on top of your desk?”

  “Definitely not.”

  “So I saved him from a fate worse than death?”

  “You’re a positive heroine.”

  He thought about saying something, but what? His brain had turned to mush. Darcy moved past him and picked up something from the floor—the papers he’d brought for signing. They must have been knocked to the floor when he’d put Darcy on the desk. She carried them around the other side, sat down in the chair, and pulled a pen from the drawer. As he watched, she scribbled her signature at the bottom of each page and then held them out to him.

  He took them from her, glanced down, and then folded the papers and put them in his pocket.

  “Does he talk?” Regan asked.

  “Sometimes too much,” Darcy replied. “I actually quite like him when he’s quiet.”

  Matt decided he was outnumbered. It was time to go. He cleared his throat. “I take it you’d like to see Lulu this weekend?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “I’ll call you with the arrangements.” With a last nod, he turned and walked past the brunette and out of the room. Sam was still at the reception desk as he passed.

  “Thanks for that, mate,” he growled, and escaped the building.

  Chapter Eight

  “The saying ‘the blind leading the blind’ comes to mind,” Regan said.

  It was Friday night, and their weekly catch-up. Even though they supposedly lived together, both Regan and Summer spent most nights with their men. They made an effort to come back occasionally, and Darcy knew that was because they were worried about her.

  That was sort of weird. She wasn’t used to people worrying about her. From an early age, she’d been the one to do the worrying. Looking out for Emma. Maybe she’d done too much, turning her sister into someone who needed to be looked after and had misguidedly thought she’d found that in Steven.

  They were in a local wine bar, drinking chocolate martinis and talking about the totally alien subject of toddlers. She’d been asking for advice, but honestly between the three of them, they had exactly zero experience with children. And as their communal lack of practical knowledge became clearer, the knots in her stomach tied themselves tighter.

  She didn’t get nervous.

  And now she acknowledged to herself—she was terrified.

  She’d read her books on child care from cover to cover. They hadn’t helped. Apparently, two-year-olds were a sort of combination of mini-tyrants and people-eating monsters. What would she do if Lulu acted up?

  They were going to the zoo, which was apparently Lulu’s favorite place. What if she got away, crawled into the lion pen, and got eaten? Or was trampled by elephants? Pecked to death by parrots?

  The potential for disaster was limitless.

  She downed her drink in one go.

  “You’re looking panicked again,” Summer said. “Have another martini.” She waved down a passing waiter and ordered another round.

  “Maybe it’s time to change the subject,” Regan said. “From darling little Lulu to her Uncle Soldier Boy.”

  “And maybe it isn’t,” Darcy replied.

  “Come on, Darcy. You can’t not tell us. I was totally traumatized when I walked in on you—sorry about that, by the way. But Sam was worried.”

  She’d managed to avoid talking to Regan about the situation that day by disappearing into her bedroom and locking the door. She hadn’t been ready to talk. Traumatized pretty much described her reaction as well.

  She’d known he fancied her that night at the club, though she’d believed he’d gotten over that attraction as soon as he’d discovered who she was. But it wasn’t really his actions that had shocked her, but her own.

  She hated him.

  While she knew it wasn’t fair and rational, she couldn’t get over the connection and the resemblance to his brother. Or so she’d thought. Then he’d kissed her and everything had gone tits up, and five minutes later, she’d been on her desk with his hand down her pants.

  How the hell had that happened?

  But best orgasm ever.

  Or maybe it had just been so long since she’d had an orgasm that wasn’t self-induced. And it had felt so fucking good.

  She pressed her thighs together as though she could bring back a little of that feeling.

  “Aw look, she’s gone all dreamy,” Regan said.

  “Leave her alone,” Summer rebuked, but she sounded amused.

  Great, her friends were so funny. But they deserved to know what was going on. They’d been so supportive. If it wasn’t for Regan, she wouldn’t have the report on Steven, and without that, she doubted she would have ever gotten Matt’s attention.

  I don’t know what happened,” she said. “One minute we were sort of trading insults, and the next he was kissing me. I think he took offense at me calling him stuffy and was trying to prove otherwise.”

  “And is he? Stuffy I mean?” Summer asked.

  “He doesn’t look stuffy,” Regan added. “He looked hot. Like super-hot.”

  “I’ll tell Nate you said so.”

  “Hey, I might be engaged, but that doesn’t make me blind. No, your Captain Matt is hawt!”

  Darcy had a flashback to him standing there, shirt undone, with what looked like a truly impressive erection trying to get out. She wanted to see that erection. Hell, she’d wanted to more than see it. She’d craved it deep inside her, where it had no right to be. Even now, just the memory made her all hot and wet and needy. She shifted in her seat and sighed. This whole thing would be easier if he was short, fat, and bald. “Yeah, he’s sort of stuffy. He likes to have rules, and he likes everything set out just so. And I’m…”

  “Chaos incarnate?” Regan suggested.

  She liked that, though it was probably a bit of an exaggeration. She just didn’t do well within confines, whether mental or physical. It had made prison super hard for her.

  “Anyway, it was a bad idea, and it won’t be repeated.”

  “Why?” Summer asked.

  “Because, while in most things we are total opposites, I suspect neither of us is the happily-ever-after type. And we’re all Lulu’s got, so we need to find a way to get on. Sex will only complicate that. I need to stay objective.” Which meant she’d never get to see that erection for real. Life wasn’t fair. But there were other erections, which came with fewer complications. She glanced around her. The place was busy and there were lots of men around. One of them at the bar caught her gaze and smiled. She looked away. Perhaps she just wasn’t ready for dating yet.

  “Maybe you’re right,” Regan said. “And are you convinced he’s not like Steven?”

  “I think so. Though every time we meet, I get this overwhelming urge to wind him up. See what it takes to make him lose his temper. But so far, the only time he’s come near to it is when I suggested he might be like his brother.”

  “That’s good. What happened to his parents? I take it they’re not around.”

  “They’re alive. But they immigrated to Australia when Steven was sixteen—or so Emma told me. Steven went with them but came back five years later. Matt stayed here. He was a year older than Steven and he’d just joined the army.”

  “Which would explain why they weren’t close,” Summer said.

  “Yes. And Emma told me Steven had a sister born soon after they left.” Another aunt. Maybe one day Lulu would meet her. It would be nice for her to have some other family. Bu
t Australia was so far away.

  Time to change the subject. “So, what do I do if I’m in the middle of a crowded place and Lulu starts screaming?”

  “Run,” Regan suggested.

  Definitely the blind leading the blind.

  “I have an idea,” Regan said. “I know someone who’s had vast amounts of experience with children.” She pulled out her phone and pressed a number. “Mom, we have an emergency. How do you fancy a chocolate martini?” A minute later she put her phone away. “She’s on her way.”

  …

  He was nervous.

  There, he’d admitted it.

  Though nervous wasn’t quite the right word. On edge? Wary? Horny?

  Don’t go there.

  He’d been trying not to think about Darcy over the last couple of days. He’d been busy at work, which was good; it took his mind off sex. Diana, the new nanny, was working out well. She was a lovely woman. Lulu liked her and was behaving better than he’d ever known her to. He was also pretty sure Diana was interested in him but too professional to make it obvious. Which made him respect her more. She was the sort of woman he should be seeing.

  He had a training exercise coming up in a couple of weeks. He would be away, out of the country for five days. He was hoping she’d stay over. If not, he wasn’t sure what he would do. Though that had been part of the arrangement with the agency. He hadn’t been on active duty since before Steven died, and he was eager to get back. This new role was something he’d been working toward.

  A little niggle of guilt prodded him in the middle. He glanced to where Lulu sat on the floor, her expression concentrated, a small frown on her face as she tried to put a puzzle together.

  The work would be dangerous, and he had responsibilities now.

  What if he were killed? What would happen to Lulu? He didn’t think Darcy would want the obligation of a child full time, despite the effort she’d expended to be part of Lulu’s life. He suspected, reading between the lines, that much of that was due to guilt. And because her sister had asked her.

  Maybe his parents would step in. He’d half expected them to offer when Steven died. But money was tight, and only his father had made it to the funeral. His mother had stayed in Australia with his sister, and the subject hadn’t come up. Maybe he needed to talk to his mom.

  Through the window, he saw Darcy walking up the driveway. She was right on time—no doubt making an impression, since he was guessing she wasn’t normally the punctual type.

  She wore the same black dress she’d worn the other morning. It almost touched the ground. Over it, she wore a denim jacket, and she had flat black boots on her feet, and a big black bag over her shoulder. If it was any consolation, she looked nervous as well. Her lower lip was caught between her teeth.

  They were all going out today. He’d told her when he called that he wouldn’t go with them in the future, that he’d allow her some alone time with her niece. But this first time, it was better for Lulu if he accompanied them.

  The doorbell rang. Lulu looked up. “Wait here, sweetheart.” Did she look anxious? She’d started acting up whenever he left. Diana said it was normal for her age. But that didn’t stop him from feeling guilty. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

  Lulu smiled. “Woof.”

  She was so sweet when she wasn’t being a total nightmare.

  Darcy had her finger raised to ring the bell again when he opened the door. She dropped her hand and gave him a tentative smile. Her face was free of makeup, though she had a black stud in her nose and long black drop-earrings against her slender throat.

  She opened her mouth, closed it, and then licked her lips, pulling his gaze to her mouth. He’d been doing his best to banish the memory of that mouth. Now, the taste of her flooded his mind.

  Not happening again.

  “I’m scared,” she said.

  “What?” He’d been focused on getting his wayward thoughts under control.

  “I don’t know anything about children. I don’t know what to do.”

  He liked her more for the admission. He guessed she wasn’t the sort of woman to admit to shortcomings with ease.

  “You’ll be fine,” he said. “When I first met her, she was so small I thought I’d break her if I got too close.”

  “I bought her a present.” She shrugged as though uncomfortable. “A couple of presents, actually. I hope that’s all right.”

  “I don’t really approve of presents except on designated days.”

  That chased the apprehension from her eyes, and they flashed as he’d known they would. “Designated days. Are you serious?”

  He was, but decided not to push it. He needed this to go smoothly, and if she called him stuffy again, he might be tempted to prove otherwise. Again. And that was so not happening.

  “I’m sure it will be all right this one time.” He thought for a moment. “As long as it doesn’t involve sugar. Lulu and sugar do not mix.”

  He led her to the living room and pushed open the door. Lulu scrambled to her feet, her eyes wide as she saw Darcy. Presumably, she remembered her from the other day. “Come and say hello to your Aunt Darcy,” he said, holding his hand out to her.

  “Aunt?” she asked. She sounded suspicious.

  “She’s your mother’s sister.”

  “I has mother?” She blinked up at him.

  “Everyone has a mother. Yours just isn’t here any longer. But Darcy is her sister.”

  “Lulu want sister.”

  This was something new. The nanny had been taking her to a playgroup, and she’d decided that she wanted a sister of her own. He didn’t quite have the heart to tell her it wasn’t on the agenda.

  “You wouldn’t want a sister. Not really,” he said. “You’d have to share your toys.”

  “Oh.” She thought for a moment. “More toys?”

  “Never going to happen, sweetheart.” Her eyes narrowed, and he continued quickly before she could get the bit between her teeth. “Now, say hello to your aunt.”

  Darcy crouched down so she was eye level with Lulu. “Hi there. We met the other day.”

  Seeing them together like this, the family resemblance was clear. The hair, the distinctive shape of the eyes. There was Asian blood in there somewhere, he was guessing, though Emma had shown no sign of it. She’d been the perfect English rose. Blond, blue-eyed, creamy skin. Both Lulu’s and Darcy’s had a slight ivory tint.

  “Hello.” Lulu didn’t sound convinced, and Darcy cast him a worried glance. She really was scared.

  “Now might be a good time for that present,” he murmured.

  “Oh, right.” She tugged the bag off her shoulder and delved inside, then brought out a pink wrapped package.

  Lulu pursed her lips but took the parcel, shook it. “Puppy?”

  “No, not a puppy,” she said.

  “Thank Christ,” Matt muttered.

  Lulu tore off the paper, and peered at the offering with narrowed eyes. “Lulu not like dolls,” she said.

  “Since when?” he muttered. It was an MMA fighter doll in a white judo suit. Cute. It even had short blond hair like Darcy.

  “Oh,” Darcy said, then frowned. “I didn’t like dolls, either.” She reached into her bag again and pulled out a second package. She glanced at him as she handed it to Lulu, and he just shrugged. You never could tell with Lulu.

  She tore it open, revealing a little outfit identical to the one the doll was wearing. Lulu was intrigued, he could tell.

  “You want to wear it?” he asked.

  She stuck out her lower lip then looked at Darcy. “No.”

  God, she could be a little bitch.

  “Then let’s go.”

  …

  By the time the car pulled up outside Matt’s house, Darcy was as limp and deflated as an inflatable bouncy castle with a puncture. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t even contemplate repeating the process next week.

  Glancing in the mirror, her gaze fixed on Lulu—asleep at last. Or ma
ybe not. The little girl’s eyes were open, and she stared back unblinking, no doubt contemplating her next evil move. Why did anyone do this to themselves? She’d told Matt the other day that she liked chaos. Just not this much.

  “Sorry about your dress,” Matt said as he turned off the engine. “And the bruise—she didn’t mean it.” When Darcy didn’t answer, he gave her a quick sideways glance. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just wondering how quickly I can get my uterus removed.”

  He grinned. “Yeah. I know the feeling. When I got her, she was sort of cute. That lasted a couple of months. Then I got back from a short deployment and she’d learned to move on her own. And Christ, she metamorphosed into the creature of chaos you saw today. Each time I come back, she seems to be that bit more hyperactive. Diana—the nanny you met the other day—says she needs more of a routine, but my life doesn’t work like that.”

  Darcy suspected she needed less of a routine, not more. She was too like her; she needed to be kept off balance, or boredom kicked in.

  “Lulu tired.”

  The voice came from behind them.

  “Hallelujah,” Matt muttered. “It had to happen. She’s running on empty.” He got out of the car, and Darcy did the same. Should she just go now? It sort of seemed anti-climactic.

  “You want to come in while I put her to bed?” He grinned. “She really is sweet when she’s asleep. Then I’ll call you a cab.”

  His words surprised her. He’d been pleasant enough during the day, if a little distant. She’d gotten the impression he was trying his best to not interfere. To let her get to know Lulu. It must have been hard, because it was abundantly clear to her that she was going to have to work on her maternal skills. Which right now were non-existent. Hell, she hadn’t even gotten the presents right.

  She had no fucking clue.

  “I’d like that,” she said.

  She waited while he unfastened Lulu from the child seat and pulled her into his arms, then grabbed the enormous bag with her “things.” How could one little girl need so much stuff? A normal person took less on a two-week vacation than Lulu needed for one afternoon trip. But then, Darcy had seen inside the bag, and Matt had just about every possible scenario covered, including an alien invasion and the end of the world.