The carpet of earth and dead leaves was soft beneath my paws. A thin morning mist hung in the air between the sparse scattering of trees out here. It didn't seem like an ideal hunting spot.
I was starting to tire when Cyan finally padded to a halt and shifted back into his human form. It took it as a signal for me to do the same, and once I was standing on two legs again I leaned against a tree to catch my breath, waiting for him to speak. He regarded me with a long stare, and I couldn't quite keep the glower out of my eyes.
"You even look at me like you don't have any respect for your alpha," he said.
"Yeah, well we're obviously not out here to hunt. What are you going to do, bury me in the woods so I won't bother you any more?"
Cyan gave a dry chuckle and paced deliberately in my direction. "All I ask for is a little respect, Lyssa. Why is that so hard for you to manage?"
"You know why," I said under my breath. "Because of what you make me do with you."
"I make you, do I?" He came to a halt in front of me, resting a palm on the tree as he leaned in close. "You never say no. Don't pretend it isn't better with me than with anyone else in the pack."
"I don't even have a choice! Nobody else in the pack pushes it unless you tell them to. Why can't you let me decide for myself who I want to be with?"
"And who would you choose, if I did?" he said, brushing his nose past my hair as he inhaled my scent. "One of the others, or the alpha who leaves you satisfied every time? You cling on to your pride far too tightly, Lyssa. You don't realise that I always know what's best for you."
You don't know what's best for me, I thought, struggling to ignore his intimate advances. He was doing it again. Using my instinct against me to wear me down.
"But you know... I like that," he said. "You're not just an obedient little bitch, you'd be fit to be an alpha's mate if it weren't for your instinct. You're lucky I'm not like other alphas."
"What are you saying?" I tried to pull away, but he trapped me against the tree with one arm either side of me against the trunk.
"I'm saying, be my mate, Lyssa. My proper mate. Respect me. Obey me. And you'll have more status than most wolves like you could ever dream of."
"Are you kidding me?" I tried to squirm away again, but he caught my shoulder and shoved me back against the tree.
"When do I ever kid around with you?" he snarled. "Who else do you think would want you for a mate? Nobody. You're lower down in the hierarchy than an infant. Nobody wants to take care of a female who loses control at the first sniff of another male."
I tried to reach up and slap him, but he caught my arm easily and twisted my wrist until I cried out in pain.
"See how much fire you have in you?" he said. "And nobody will ever care. Not unless you're the mate of an alpha. You wanted me to give you a choice? Well, here you go. Choose me, or choose to stay at the bottom of the pack for the rest of your life."
I struggled in his grip, but I could already feel the heat running through my body as his possessive touch excited me, sapping away my will to resist.
"What kind of choice is that? You know I'll say yes the second I lose control!" I spat.
"Hurry up and choose, then. I don't care what you say once you're a bitch in heat. I want you to say it, not your wolf."
Even though every fibre of me wanted to scream no, I made myself consider it. I had to force myself to think, to weigh up my options before the feral longing for my alpha overwhelmed me.
He was being more than generous. Most pack leaders would have been ashamed to have a werewolf like me as part of their following, let alone their mate. I was destined to live on the bottom rung of our society for the rest of my life. Or, I could take Cyan up on his offer and instantly attain the highest status a female could ever hope for.
And he did satisfy me. He always satisfied my instinct when I was in heat. Even now I wanted to lean forward, kiss the rugged stubble on his chin, let him hold me down and claim me...
I screwed my eyes shut and shook my head, struggling to get a grip. I had to remember that I wasn't the only one with a strong instinct here. Cyan had to dominate. He had to. It was as much a part of his nature as sleeping and breathing. Was this just a way to finally break the last rebellious little member of his pack? Would he really go that far, to take me as his mate, if it meant finally silencing me once and for all?
"No!" I exclaimed, struggling again. "No way in hell, I won't be your mate!"
Cyan's growl rumbled in his throat. He glared at me, fingers tightening on my shoulder. "You will, Lyssa, once I show you what you are without me." In a second his lips were on mine, pressing insistently, his tongue working its way into my mouth. I tried to bite him, but as soon as my jaw started to tighten the bite turned into a passionate nibble, tugging his lower lip between my teeth as I moaned with longing. My body was simmering with heat, plunging over the tipping point as I lost control of my thoughts and gave in to my instinct. His hand slid up the front of my tank top, calloused fingertips scraping against my smooth stomach and sending shivers through me. Cyan's other hand went to my neck, squeezing firmly as he held my head back for a deep kiss.
I was panting already, tugging at his hunting jacket in a fever. He held the kiss, letting me feel his hands all over my body, and then pulled away. I didn't even realise what was happening until he had my jacket off my back. Taking one of the sleeves, he wrapped it around my right wrist and tied it in place with a tight knot. For a second a chink of understanding slipped through my haze.
"What are you doing?" I managed to blurt out before Cyan stepped behind the tree, dragging my tied arm behind him, and reached around the width of the trunk to snatch my unbound left wrist. I felt the other sleeve of my jacket knot around my forearm, and I was trapped. Cyan didn't even need to hold me any more; I was tied against the tree with my wrists bound together on the far side by my jacket. My alpha stepped back, looking down at me as I sank to the ground in confusion, still squirming against my bonds.
"How well can you handle that instinct of yours on your own, Lyssa?" He bared his teeth in a humourless grin. "Let me know if you've reconsidered my offer once you get back to camp—if you can get those knots undone."
Panic began to overwhelm my lust as Cyan turned and walked away. He couldn't do this. I needed him, I couldn't rein in my instinct by myself.
"Please!" I screamed as he started to disappear between the trees. "Come back, please, I'll do anything, I'll be your mate, Cyan, I need you!"
My chest was tight. My heart felt like it was about to burst. I threw myself forward, trying to tear my arms free from the jacket, but the sleeves only dug into my wrists tighter. I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing from side to side until the rough bark had chafed my arms raw.
Cyan was gone. I filled my lungs and wailed in anguish, hoping he might hear me and come back.
Please. He had to.
The fire burned in my belly and between my legs, desperate for someone to satisfy it. My wolf was awake and wild, demanding that I find a mate to satisfy her. I began to lose my grip on coherent thoughts, only able to fixate on the desire for a male. I thrashed and tugged at the jacket, growing angrier and more desperate by the second when it refused to budge. Why couldn't I get away from this tree? Why had Cyan gone? I fancied I could still smell his lingering scent, even though there was no way my human nostrils could have picked it up. I yanked my arms again and felt a burst of pain in my elbow as it struck against the tree. Why couldn't I get away?! I tugged and thrashed until my shoulders were sore, knowing that there had to be a mate waiting for me somewhere nearby. If only I could get away from this tree I'd surely find him. I had to.
After what seemed like an eternity of fruitless struggling I slumped forward and began to sob. My whole body was shaking. I felt delirious. The heat burning through me was maddening, and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. My mind went blank, and as I focused on the throbbing pain in my shoulders a brief sliver of Lyssa broke through the fog
of my instinct.
Undo the knots.
I didn't understand at first, but my mind was drawn to my wrists, to the tight bonds securing me against the tree. I closed my eyes and let my fingers curl. I felt leather, crinkled and tough. The sleeves of my jacket. Every second I focused on feeling for the knots I felt as though something inside me was about to snap. My wolf was screaming at me to stop this and start fighting again.
No, I told her, this will get us free, don't you see? But she wouldn't listen. All she understood was tearing at her bonds until they gave way. If it hadn't been for the pain in my arms I would've given in and started struggling again, but a deeper instinct told me that the tendons in my shoulders might give way before the heavy stitching of my jacket did. Even a wolf understood pain.
I forced myself to breathe deeply, feeling for the knots around my wrists. One of them was too tight to even attempt, but a deep crease in the sleeve tied around my left wrist was loose enough for me to work my fingers into and tug gently. It didn't seem to budge. I screamed in frustration, throwing myself forward and feeling my arms explode with pain. Once I'd clawed back enough control to subdue my instinct for a few seconds, I tried the knot again.
This time it shifted, and the shiver of elation that ran through me gave me the strength to give it another light tug, then another, and another. The knot finally slipped loose, and I collapsed forward into the carpet of dead leaves in a sobbing heap. I was free. My head snapped up, scanning the forest with hungry eyes. I caught sight of the last place I'd seen Cyan and staggered to my feet, tripping and stumbling in an ungainly sprint as I tried to catch up with him.
He was still nowhere in sight. I glanced left and right, panic building in my chest. I didn't know this part of the woods. I had no idea which way he could have gone. I couldn't even be certain which way it was back to camp.
My wolf would know, I thought. I couldn't tell which thoughts were Lyssa's and which belonged to my wolf any more, but if I shifted now there would be no hope of controlling my instinct any longer. It was the last straw, the final barrier between a werewolf's humanity and their animal impulses. A vivid memory flashed through my mind of the first night I'd been bitten. I remembered crashing through the bushes, terrified. I was scratched and bloody, clutching at my leg where the wolf had sunk his teeth in.
I shuddered, the memory having an instantly sobering effect on me. That was the only time my instinct had ever forced me to shift before, and it was the most powerful deterrent I could think of. But I still needed a male. Even my memories weren't enough to hold off the urge forever.
I staggered from tree to tree, heading in what I hoped was the direction of our camp. My vision swam with each step. My instinct was a pot of boiling water, threatening to bubble over and scald me at any moment.
If I could just make it to the next tree. And the next. And the next.
After too many trees to count I realised I wasn't going to make it. My head roiled with thoughts of a male mating me, sharp teeth on my neck and powerful hands holding me down. My nose was filled with phantom scents of flesh and sweat and passion. My muscles trembled with the effort of every movement, and beads of perspiration streamed down my neck. The jacked still trailed behind me in the leaves, dangling from my wrist, forgotten.
I couldn't do it any longer, I couldn't go on without my wolf's legs to carry me. I stumbled and fell to my knees, and, when the effort to stand proved too much, began to crawl.
Something rustled nearby. I raised my head and blinked, half-blind with the sun in my eyes. Was it afternoon already? How long had I been out here, stumbling through the leaves? A brown shape burst through the foliage, dashing straight towards me. A male? It had to be. I needed him, whoever he was.
The second Hawthorne reached me and shifted out of his wolf form I was clawing at his jeans, struggling to pull myself upright, my legs refusing to support my weight.
"Thorne," I whimpered, "take me, mate me, I need you!" I tried to yank at his belt, but his hands were on mine in an instant, holding me back.
"Oh, Lyssa, what did he do to you?" I heard him say as I struggled.
"Mate me!" I repeated.
"I can't! You know what'll happen. You have to get a grip!"
"I can't!"
"Try." He knelt down so that he was level with me. "You won't get back to camp like this. I'll help you, just like you asked me to."
"I can't," I sobbed, tears spilling from my eyes. "I just can't, Thorne, it's so hard." I lunged for him again desperately, and my lips brushed his chin for a brief second before he pushed me back, squeezing my hands together between his.
"Think of the most human thing about you. What have you never let go of since becoming a werewolf? What's still around that reminds you of your old life?"
My eyes were fixated by the movement of his lips, but an image of my sister flashed through my mind for the briefest of seconds. When it did, my vacant expression tightened.
"Good," Thorne said, squeezing my hands tighter. "Whatever it was you just thought of, think of it again. Don't think of anything else, no matter how hard it is. The longer you can focus, the easier it'll get."
I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the warmth of Thorne's hands and the closeness of his body.
My family. My sister. I'd been with them the night I was bitten. We'd had a barbecue in the back garden, even though it was the end of summer and far too cold already. Ellie told me about how her friend Martin had lost his big brother's ball over the back fence when he came over to play. I'd offered to go find it. Past the fence at the end of the garden, into the dark, endless woods behind our house, the ones Ellie had always been scared of... Then there were fangs and howling and wet blood.
I gasped, startled as the image sent another surge of heat through my body. Hawthorne held my hands tight.
"Stay focused. You can do it, Lyssa, come on."
I groped for another memory, trying to ignore the pangs of lust that threatened to distract me.
Walking Ellie to her first day of school because Dad was away working and Mom was too drunk to get up. Helping her with homework. Playing video games when we both decided homework was dumb and boring.
I felt my heat beginning to cool.
"Take deep breaths. Taste the air, think about how it feels," Thorne said. "It's not the same as when you're a wolf. You're not a wolf. You're Lyssa."
I did as he instructed, and the phantom scents that had been assaulting my senses began to disperse. I wasn't a wolf. I couldn't smell things that weren't there.
I risked opening my eyes, and even though the world still had a hazy look to it, the forest seemed much more solid than it had before. My longing for Thorne was still intense, but it was tempered by the thought of what he might do to me if I threw myself at him again. His instinct was dangerous, just like mine.
"Don't rush it," he said. "Just keep thinking those thoughts for as long as you can." He squeezed my hands again, and this time rather than lust the motion brought reassurance. I closed my eyes and thought of my sister, breathing deeply and letting the cool forest air fill my lungs. Gradually, the flushes of heat began to subside. My spikes of desire became fewer and farther between, until the roaring blaze had dulled into a warm simmer.
"Okay," I said at last, my voice husky. "I think I'm okay."
"Can you stand?"
"I don't know."
Thorne eased me up slowly, letting me lean on his shoulder as my quaking legs struggled to support my weight. My arms still throbbed painfully from my encounter with the tree, but the pull of my instinct was nowhere near as debilitating as it had been back then. I hadn't squashed it completely, but I was holding it in check. Hopefully I could stay in control long enough for us to get back to camp.
"What happened?" Thorne asked softly, untying the jacket sleeve from around my wrist and brushing it clean, before hanging the scuffed garment around my shoulders.
"Cyan tied me to a tree. And he made sure my instinct was flaring up. He just
left me there, Thorne."
"He's taking this too far," Thorne muttered, then shielded his eyes to look up at the position of the sun. "Think you can manage the walk?"
I nodded and took a few tentative steps, still leaning heavily on my rescuer. He stumbled, but quickly caught himself again and steadied me.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Just tired. I was running for over an hour to try and find you. It's a good thing I did."
"Why did you come looking?"
He grimaced. "When Cyan came back without you I was worried. When I asked him about it he wouldn't tell me a thing. He just smiled and said you had something to think over."
"I didn't know you were so considerate." I tried to give him a nudge, but the effort sent another quiver of lust rippling through me.
"I suppose you forgot about that tea I made for you last night, then. You know, the tea that got us into all this trouble in the first place?" Thorne smiled. "I suppose we're partners in crime. Besides, I like you."
"Cyan said you'd be in trouble if you ran off with me again."
"Well, some things are more important than your alpha's approval. Even if some wolves tend to forget it."
"You're very... human, Thorne," I said.
"I have to be. You're going to have to be too, if you want to control that instinct of yours."
I clung to his shoulder and limped along beside him. Our progress was slow, but as long as I thought about my sister and home I could keep putting one foot in front of the other.
"We're not going to make it before nightfall." Thorne said after we'd been walking for a couple of hours. "I forget how much faster we move as wolves."
"Sorry for being a slowpoke," I said.
"I don't mind you being a slowpoke, I mind us getting stuck out here in the open. I know Cyan's paranoid about the other werewolf packs, but he's still got a point about straying too far. We're not in our own territory out here."
Wild Instincts - Complete Edition (Werewolf Erotic Romance) Page 3