"What are you doing here?"
Chapter 16
Let’s Dig Us A Hole
~Gia~
The past three weeks have been the longest of my life. I haven't eaten properly, consuming Twinkies and HoHo's at every turn, and Mt. Dew has become my best friend. So, needless to say, I'm wound for sound and mentally preoccupied with the loss of a certain cowboy. I've even been wearing the jersey he loaned me. Now the damn thing smells like funk and that’s not doing anyone any good.
Speaking of best friends, I haven't talked to Sadie since the night I picked my stuff up. She's left me message after message but I haven't returned any of them. I'll call when I feel she's learned a lesson or when I'm ready, whichever comes first. Hell might even freeze over by the time that happens.
As for Jen and I, we exchanged numbers when she dropped me off at home. She's called me a couple of times since that night to see how I'm doing and to let me know about Dirk’s newfound obsession with yoga. She told me that she finds it funny as hell to watch her man try to bend around all pretzel-like in his Pinocchio boxers. Someone should really burn them. Actually, scratch that because the thought of Dirk in a pair of spandex, doing the Downward Facing Dog, is positively revolting. I wished her good luck with that, but not before she texted me a picture of the yoga king in action. Needless to say, I almost threw up a in my mouth.
As the days pass I find myself missing those crazy ass people more and more. Sure, Jen still scares the crap out of me, but I think she'd scare anyone within a ten mile radius. Dirk, well, I'm sure I can deal with his smelly pits and crass behavior if it means being back on that ranch again. Then there's Roman. He's the reason my stomach has been getting tied in knots every time I watch an old episode of Bonanza. First off, don't knock it. Second, I need something to try to keep me in tune to the cowboy way of life. But even Little Joe Cartwright can't fill that void.
Everything's pretty much a disaster. My life, my house, my lack of hygiene, even my job is becoming a problem. My boss said that if I didn't snap out of it and get some kind of article written by next week, I'd find myself unemployed. The whore’s even been on a downhill spiral. She just sits on a log underneath that big oak tree, sobbing nonstop. The other day she scribbled in the sand, "Quit being a hag and go back!"
Trust me. I’ve thought about it, but there’s no way Roman will ever forgive me for how I deceived him. Hell, I know I wouldn’t. Besides, I tucked tail and ran. I ran from something good, from the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My stupid self took off, leaving behind a wonderful man. But what the hell else was I supposed to do? I mean, I basically hit the guy with a shit ton of stupidity. What did I expect him to do? Open his damn arms and say yes to giving up his super jizz? Yes. Yes I did. I was a damn idiot and I deserve to be unhappy and lonely. Roman deserves so much better than me. Hell, after everything he's been through he deserves all the happiness. I didn't know his past, and I didn't know his heartache. What I asked him for, expecting him to say yes, was the lowest. I’m sure he hates me.
God, I feel sick to my stomach.
I huff out a defeated breath and head to the kitchen for another round of junk food when I hear a loud banging on my front door. I stand still, pulling the terry cloth belt of my robe tighter around my waist. I try to smooth the rat's nest that has developed on the back of my head with no luck. As the banging continues I reluctantly move toward the front door and take a deep breath before swinging it open.
"Go on. Get your shit. You're coming with me."
If it were anyone else, I would've remembered to grab the baseball bat I keep hidden behind the front door in case of intruders.
"I'm not dressed." I scratch at my armpit and walk back toward the kitchen. “And I do not have any intensions of leaving this house for you or anyone else.”
"And ya smell like pits and ass. Ever hear of a shower?"
“I don’t care.”
“Well, ya should care. That stink could kill a rhino.”
I spin on my heel and immediately regret it as the words come out of my mouth. “Check it out, Jen. I don’t need you or anyone else coming up in my house telling me what they think I should be doing. Got it?”
“Well, I see your balls have dropped, Missy.” Jen steps up to me and the corner of her mouth lifts. “But I’d watch the next words that might come flying outta that trap of yours ‘cause your liable to get my size eight rammed up your butt.”
“Why can’t you just leave this alone, Jen?” I pull the tub of chocolate ice cream out of the freezer and jam a Twinkie in the center of it. “I’m not going back there. Ever.”
Grabbing a wooden spoon, I head back into the living room and flop down on my couch and begin shoving my face full of sugar. I try to ignore Jen when she takes a seat on the coffee table in front of me. Her icy, penetrating stare unnerves me and I have no other choice but to look at her out of sheer awkwardness.
“What?”
“Go get your shit so we can go.”
“I told you that I’m not going…”
“Okay, check it out,” she replies with a frustrated huff as she snatches the tub of ice cream out of my hands. “I am so tired, and I mean dog fuckin’ tired, of all this friggen’ sulkin that you and our resident cowboy have been doing for the past three weeks. Between Roman smellin’ like a goddamn foot and you with those feel sorry for me responses over the phone, it’s like dealin’ with a couple of love torn teenagers. You both need to figure this crap out ‘cause if you don’t, I’m gonna have a fuckin’ anxiety attack and those ain’t pretty, Missy. Now. Get. Your. Shit. We’re burnin’ daylight.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t even showered.”
“Your stuff. Now. I’ll meet you outside.”
Ten minutes later I find myself tucked away in Jen’s beat up truck.
"I don’t even know why I’m doing this,” I say, pulling my hoodie up over my head. “Besides, once he takes a good whiff of me he’ll send my ass right back down the road. You’ll see. And then you’re just gonna have to drive my ass right back here. Serves your ass right for butting in.”
I watch out of the corner of my eye as Jen shakes her head and chuckles. "Ya know what, Gia?" And now I'm blown away. This is the first time she's ever called me by my true name. "You and Roman are sure a couple peas in a pod. Y’all are made for each other. Sure as shit.”
I raise a brow because now she has my complete attention.
"That's right," she says, keeping her eyes on the road, "You two are a couple of sad cases mopin' around like someone stole just the last piece of cake, and you're both stubborn as hell."
I cross my arms over my chest. "What do you mean?"
With a click of her tongue, she replies, "You'll see."
My heart starts to stammer in my chest the moment I realize that Jen’s jumping on the freeway that leads straight to the ranch and straight to Roman.
"You’re seriously taking me back there, Jen?" I begin to panic. There is no way in hell I can return to his house after what I did, no matter how much I want to see him. "Jen, for real. I thought you were just messing around. Take me home please. Like, now."
She whips her head in my direction and glares daggers that could definitely maim a group of innocent bystanders. When she lights the Marlboro that's jammed between her lips and cocks a brow at me, I’m more than unready for her reaction.
"Oh, you do not want to piss me off, Missy. All I've done this week is watch that big ass overgrown man-child moan and groan around that fuckin’ ranch. He's lucky I didn't bitch slap his butt outta that funk. I’ve never seen a man wallow in so much self-pity before. I’m surprised he hasn’t grown a pair of titties yet. Gia this and Gia that. Makes ya want to vomit, and poor Dirk is about to explode without his best friend. Roman’s like a goddamn teenage girl after her first breakup. It’s goddamn pathetic and it needs to stop. So you and the man-child need to figure this shit out. Got me?"
Twenty minutes later I notice the turn of
f to Roman’s ranch come into view. I slink back in the seat and let Jen’s words sink in as we hit the dirt road that leads to the ranch house, but before I can really take her words into thought, I see Dirk and his ugly ass gunning right for us.
"What in the hell? Dirk, I’m gonna kick your ass! What in the actual fuck?" Jen slams on the brakes, sending my forehead flying right into the dash.
"Damn!" I rub the tender skin on my face. “Brake much?”
"Jen! Ya can't go up there, baby!" Dirk yells, hopping off his quad, running toward the truck as he throws his arms out in front of him like a deranged ape.
"And why the hell not?" Jen asks. She gets out of the truck and slams the door behind her. "Spit it out, Dirk. I don't have all day.”
"Well, ya see.” Dirk rubs the back of his neck, shifting from foot to foot before taking a deep breath and leans toward his girlfriend and whispers into her ear. “Earlier…”
As soon as he pulls back, a screeching noise erupts from Big Jen’s mouth.
"She's a dead bitch! Oh, that heifer’s gonna die today!"
I shrink back into the seat as she hops back inside the truck, revs up the engine and barrels down the dirt road, leaving a cloud of dust and her man behind.
"Wh-what's wrong?" I squeak out.
Jen cuts her hard, steely glare at me with her nostrils flared wide.
"You ever dig a six foot hole?" she asks, directing her eyes back to the road.
What? "No?"
"Well good. Now’s about a good time to learn so today's your lucky day," she says, lovingly stroking the shotgun on her lap. "I got me a bitch to kill and I'm gonna need a hole."
What. The. Fuck.
Chapter 17
Say Hello To My Little Friend
~Roman~
"I fucking told you to leave."
My blood slides thick through my veins as the bitch actually starts to laugh in my fucking face. What I wouldn't give to punch the heartless broad right in her perfectly enhanced nose, a nose, I might add, I paid for. But my mother taught me better.
"Oh, c'mon, Roman. You don't mean that. Be honest. You missed me."
The urge to hurl quickly sets in as soon as the viper slowly runs her index finger down the center of my bare, heaving chest.
"I haven’t forgotten about you, Roman. Remember all the good times we had?" The look on her face is menacing at best. It’s not the first time she’s ever had that conniving glint in her eye, and the other leggy blonde standing next to an expensive white Town Car hasn’t escaped my notice as she fluffs out her cherry red hair in the passenger side window.
"Some things never change do they, Tara? Always bringing Sasha for back-up," I say, pulling away from my ex's hold. "Still haven't figured out how to fight your battles on your own, I see."
That fake, sweet smile on her face is enough to make me wish I was anywhere but on my front porch facing the woman who burned me years ago.
"I want you off my property, Tara.” My tone is cold and clipped as I pry her fingertips from my chest. “Right. Now.”
A sinister expression flashes across the woman's features as her eyes become dark and downright vicious.
"You know, Roman. I thought we could do this like civil adults, no hostility and maybe even see if there was still a bit of spark left between us. But apparently I was wrong. And even now, looking at you," the bitch sneers, waving a hand near my face, "I wouldn't touch your horrid ass with my sister's overused pussy. You look like shit, Roman, and you smell like it too."
I shake my head as frustration begins to claw its way to the surface. I’m ready to explode as I roughly scratch my beard, trying to push down the desire to beat the shit out of the woman. Every painful memory starts to flood my thoughts. I hate this bitch. What in the fuck did I ever see in her? Everything’s fake from her nose to her tits, right down to her fucking fingernails.
I lean in just inches from the callous broad’s face and whisper, "If you don't get the fuck out of here, I’m gonna…"
"What, Roman?" Tara throws her arms out to her sides. The low, devilish laugh she lets out is enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. "What the fuck are you going to do? You touch me and I'll have your sorry ass thrown in jail."
"Why are you here, Tara? The real reason."
As much as I’d like to floor the beast with tits, I have no doubt that she will, in fact, have my ass thrown in jail for even breathing on her. I cross my arms over my chest and stretch to my full height in an act of possible intimidation and wait for the woman I once held on a pedestal to answer me.
"I need money. Three grand," she replies without looking directly at me as she gives her freshly manicured nails a once over. “I know you’ve got the money, Roman.”
“You have got to be out of your fucking mind! I don’t owe you a fucking penny!” The tone in my voice causes both women to make eye contact with me. “First of all, I wouldn’t give you a dime even if it meant saving your pathetic life, and second, your undeserving ass will never get anything from me ever again. So why don’t you and your fucking minion, get the hell off my goddamn property!”
A smug expression laces her features. “No. That isn’t going to work, Roman. You see, as far as I’m concerned, this pretty little place you’ve built for yourself could all go away with one quick phone call. Last time I checked, a little bit of blackmail and one phone call to the police could make it all disappear.”
For the fucking life of me, I have no idea what this evil bitch has up her sleeve and I’m not about to stand here and find out. She’s gotta go.
As soon as I start down the steps Tara makes no attempt at a response. She even refuses to move and continues to stand in front of me, waiting for me to cave. My attention is pulled away from my ex when I see Jen’s truck hauling ass down the road and headed straight for us. When the truck brakes right in front of my house is causes dirt and dust to whip up around us.
"You!" Jen points over at Tara as she hops out of the driver’s seat and makes a beeline for the woman who happens to stand a taller with her chin jutted out defensively. "You need to get the fuck out of here before I blow another hole up your ass."
“Listen here, bitch,” Tara replies, pursing her lips and arching a perfectly groomed brow as she stares Jen down. “I don't know who the fuck you think you’re talking to, but I suggest you back off, you redneck piece of trash."
And…she’s a dead woman.
With a cock of the Wonder Woman painted shotgun, Jen points the double barrel right upside Tara’s temple and leans in and whispers, "I am the motherfuckin’ redneck bitch that's ‘bout ready to give your ass a one way ticket to meet your maker, you cum guzzlin’ twatwaffle. I could kill you right now but I don't wanna get blood on my shoes. So, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna take a deep breath, count to three and give you and your fugly friend over there a head start to get the hell off this man’s property.”
Tara’s eyes go wide and I’m silently fist pumping the goddamn air as Jen takes a deep breath and readies her weapon.
“And if your pasty ass ain’t gone by the time I get to three, my friend over there already has a shovel and is ready to dig us a hole to bury your ass in. So I’d suggest ya haul ass to that car faster than a turd down a slip n’ slide because my aim is pretty fuckin’ good. On your mark, get set…”
I hadn’t noticed that Gia was standing near the passenger side of Jen’s truck when this shit storm started, and when she sees me make eye contact with her, it takes all that I have not to rush over to her.
As soon as Jen punches out her open threat, I watch as Tara and her sidekick quickly make their way to their car. At the sound of an engine roaring to life, we all watch as Tara and Sasha peel out and speed down the driveway with dirt and dust flying in every direction.
It’s the voice of reason that speaks first. "And you two! Fix this shit,” Jen says, pointing her shotgun toward Gia and me.
I look over at Gia, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulde
rs when I look into her eyes. God, how I’ve missed her. Now that she’s here I have no idea what to say. So many things I’d like to say to her run through my mind, and just as I’m about to take the plunge and make the first move in fixing this shit storm we’ve both have had a hand in creating, my intentions are put on the back burner when the grumbling sound of a quad flies down the road and right toward us.
"Jen!" Dirk waves his arm wildly in the air. "Jen! What did ya do, baby? Is anyone dead? Sweet Jesus, Jen! Who’d ya kill, baby?"
“I didn’t kill anyone, Dirky,” Jen replies as she plants a kiss on the top of Dirk’s balding head. “Now let’s get the hell outta here so these two blazing idiots can deal with their shit. Besides, mama needs a spam burger.”
My eyes land on Gia as emotions start to swirl and my heart begins to beat faster. As the dust starts to settle I stand with my feet planted firmly on the ground. I’ve never been this uncomfortable in my entire fucking life. But I’m about to take the bull by the nuts and go for it.
"You look like shit, Gia."
"Well, you smell like ass."
The sides of her mouth lift in a slow grin as I close the distance between us.
"Shower?"
Chapter 18
That Ain’t No Rubber Duckie
~Roman~
I’m a grown ass man and should be able to handle this clusterfuck we’ve gotten ourselves into.
"I started the shower in the guest bathroom," I call out to her as I round the corner.
As much as I’d like to jump into the shower with her, I don’t think it’d be such a great idea. We need to talk and I’m almost certain she feels the same way.
"I also left you a towel. Do you have a change of clothes?" I ask as I look around the living room and come up empty handed. “I could get you something.”
I watch Gia shake her head and finally notice that she’s wearing the jersey and sweats I gave her when she was here three weeks ago. Seeing her in my clothes makes my stomach knot up and causes a fatty to sprout in my jeans.
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