by Sia Wales
“Nothing can tear us apart, whatever decision you make,” adds Vuk, his eyes piercing holes into Donn.
“However things go …” I mumble, engrossed in my thoughts.
“I can’t allow you to cross the border,” roars Donn. “It’s too dangerous. There can be no argument, no compromise!”
“Right,” I mumble.
“Try to understand, I worry about you going into wolf territory, Donn continues. “If something were to happen, I couldn’t intervene. Do you really want the truce to be jeopardized? Is that what you want?”
“No.” I’m causing everyone pain. Everything I touch seems to crumble. I’m selfish, I just torture all those who care about me.”
“Then there’s nothing else to discuss,” says Donn. “And stop torturing yourself.”
“Right. I should concentrate my energy into tormenting you a bit more.”
Donn narrows his eyes, but betrays no emotion
“I must admit, Stella, your mind fascinates me. If nothing else, you see things differently than most people.”
“Right,” I agree. “I know I can be a bit eccentric at times, so seeing that my mind works in a roundabout way. So I’ve got no choice about Vuk?”
“Of course you have, in theory,” Donn says. “But why would you choose the most dangerous option?”
“Because that option allows me to see Vuk, my best friend. And that makes it a risk worth taking.” My expression changes as the words tumble out of my mouth. Donn looks at me incredulously.
“What a load of nonsense. Don’t you get it? His instincts are uncontrollable. And that makes you an easy target. Don’t you see that this worries me? If he were to transform and change, he could kill you.”
“I don’t think he could.”
Donn doesn’t answer, he limits himself to giving me a crushing stare, in eloquent silence.
“He can’t control his instincts,” he finally says, frustrated.
“I’m not saying he couldn’t hurt me if he wanted to. But he wouldn’t want to. I don’t believe he ever could.”
“No.” Donn shakes his head, cutting off my train of thought. “You can’t really know how things could go, and Vuk is aware of that. But now I have to speak to Graham before the meeting to sanction yesterday’s deal with the other members of the family.” I nod timidly as his hand takes mine.
“Do you mind if I do one thing?” Donn asks in that irresistible voice of his as he pulls me in for an embrace.
“Depends on what it is.”
“I don’t bite, you know?” he murmurs, his voice velvety smooth.
“Careful, Stella. I have my doubts,” cuts in Vuk. Donn throws him a nasty glance. I feel my face flush with embarrassment.
“Go ahead.” Donn pulls me behind him protectively. Vuk crosses his arms, he looks mad. I feel uncomfortable when I see Vuk’s reaction and my body stiffens in resistance.
“Donn, no. Be nice to him. You’re embarrassing me.”
“Please, please,” he repeats. “Remember you said I could.”
The words are spinning in my head, some of them not very flattering, others shamefully sweet and loving. But instead of embarrassing myself further, I just whisper.
“Ok.”
I signal with my eyes to Vuk for him to wait; he rolls his eyes and looks around the room. Donn wanders off and stops in front of the same window in which I admired Jason’s reflection earlier.
“You need patience, Stella. I can’t give you what you want right now, but maybe in the future.”
“I hope so.” But I’m not really sure what he means. He comes close to me and holds me tight in his arms, his lips brush against my ear. His sweet breath sends shivers throughout my body.
“I can’t stand this,” he says abruptly. “With everything you could have asked for, this is what you want?” He looks at Vuk, torment making his voice harsh and rough, as if he had a huge knot that needs untying in his throat. I stand still and watch him.
“According to the rules of the contract, you have to back me up,” he continues, more severely now, although he is struggling to betray no emotion. “Guaranteeing for someone is a big deal, at least in my world. And the pact was signed in blood, so to speak.” His eyes dart to my wrist. “Why are you pushing me away?” he asks breathlessly. His slight insecurity takes me by surprise, and I realize he’s not asking me this as the guarantor of the deal, but as Donn Brooks, the man.
I remain motionless, and my breathing becomes more regular. “Please, don’t misunderstand me,” I suggest. “You know … I don’t want to have to change …”
“Then don’t reject me,” he interrupts. “Anything but that.”
I nod slowly and wait for him to continue. He adds nothing, so I try to bring the conversation back round to where I want it to go.
“So … you’re saying I can’t go visit Vuk?”
“Stella, things won’t always be this way, it’ll all be over soon,” he assures me. “Do you know how hard it is for me to try to give in to a request like yours? Who, between the two of us, is more reluctant to give the other what they really want? You’re the unwilling party here. So I won’t consent to it unless I get something in return. And there’s nothing I’d like more than just being with you. Having you. You’ll always be my baby girl, Stella.”
“Oh, you are such …” I hold back, holding my emotions in making an effort not to blurt out a hasty response. No definition that is mean or terrible enough comes to mind. But the more I seem to be seething, the more amused he looks.
He chuckles and unfurls his perfect smile, bringing my hand up to his mouth to kiss the palm of my hand.
“Have you decided you are going to irritate me to no end?”
“Very mature, Donn, really. And to think you have several hundred years advantage over me.”
“You’re right about that.” he exclaims, his shining eyes still on me. “You know that my impatience and my feelings towards you are your best defense, baby girl.”
I shake my head stubbornly, not wanting to give in to him. “No,” I snap. “I can’t believe I fell for your bull again!” My previous cool composure is in shambles. But Donn just laughs and turns my hand over and starts playing with my fingers.
I watch his hand, afraid to look him in the face. I can feel the blood rising up my cheeks, the contrast between my burning body heat and his cold even more noticeable when he runs his icy fingers along my cheekbone.
“Why are you blushing?” he asks. I don’t even bother to look at him. “Stella, please, this uncertainty is wearing me out.”
I don’t answer, I can’t find the right words to say.
“Stella,” he scolds. His reproaching tone reminds me just how hard it is for him to keep his promises. He has already broken one today by reading my mind. And I don’t know what to think.
“Well, this thing between us couldn’t be any clearer than it already is,” I complain, throwing him a dirty look. My words make him reflect. He probably believed I was thinking about someone else, and he’s not totally wrong. “Plus, I’m a bit worried.” His body stiffens, but his voice remains silky smooth.
“Vuk … he’s what’s bothering you, right?” He spits out his name as if it were rotten meat.
“Can we talk about it? I’d like to widen your horizons, help you see the light.” My words are overly formal, maybe it’s the tension speaking.
“You’re looking to negotiate?” Donn notices my heart starting to beat fast and irregularly. “Are you ok?” he asks, calmer now.
“I’m fine, just fine.”
“Well? I’m listening.”
“I wanted to go over this ludicrous condition that’s part of the deal,” I say firmly.
“You’re the only one who finds it ludicrous.”
“I was wondering … is it negotiable?”
All trace of humor leaves his face, as he shakes his head somberly.
“No.”.
“I think it is,” I retort, pulling myself out of h
is arms. I turn around and look for Vuk. My fists are itching; they are in exactly the right mood to make contact, a hard form of contact, with someone. I’m surprised at myself. I’ve never been the violent type.
Donn grabs my wrists, looks into my eyes, and whispers.
“No.”
We stare at each other. Vuk is also looking at him threateningly, his eyes two narrow slits. Donn smiles for an instant, then lets go of my wrists.
“To be honest, there’s nothing more to agree upon as far as the deal is concerned.” If I didn’t know him so well, I would have never detected the slight vein of tension running through his words.
“So, you can impose any damn thing you want on me, like forbidding me to see Vuk. But I’m not allowed to speak my mind?”
“I can do without additional conditions. I need to concentrate on other details right now.” I eye him suspiciously.
“Like what? Let’s get everything on the table right now.”
Donn takes a deep breath, and when his anger subsides, his aquamarine eyes soften. I take a moment to observe the change, but my instincts are strong, I know what I feel. And he feels rejected again.
“You could have anything you wanted,” I add doubtfully.
“Not anything,” he whispers in my ear.
“I thought all you needed was to be king of your castle high in the sky. I’m really curious to know just what the hell else you could want!”
“You know what I want,” he grins. “I want you.” His delightful gaze is fixed on me, his voice drips warm honey. I stand still on the spot. Then his smile fades.
“I never earned the right to have you. But I reached out, played dirty and took you just the same, as if you were the apple in the Garden of Eden. I’m used to getting what I want. Always. And nothing’s changed. Now I want you. For starters. But it appears I can’t have you and that is terribly frustrating.”
Donn looks out at me from behind those long, dark lashes, with those turquoise eyes, so tender and yet so passionate. I study his gaze for an interminable moment.
“It’s pointless wishing for something that is already yours.” I hesitate a moment, my lips curve up into a slight smile. “You are my guarantor, so in some way, Donn, I am yours.”
He doesn’t reply. He looks at me with reproach, then sighs, letting go of my hips reluctantly.
“Ok, I’ll do my best,” he mutters, his eyes glimmering. “But you’re only trying to change the subject. Let’s get back to the real point of the discussion.” He looks relaxed, but my lips tighten.
“I won’t contradict the conditions, I swear. This is between you and me.” I clear my throat. “I’m surprised that we managed to come to a compromise the other evening in the tower. I thought we might be able to employ the same method to resolving another issue.”
He smiles, but his jaws tighten almost imperceptibly.
“Your safety is the only issue that counts,” he says. “To be honest, I’ve never felt quite as vulnerable as I do now, under your protection.”
“That’s something we can talk about some other time.” He seems to be having trouble keeping his patience intact.
I blush again, this time with indignation. My stomach churns and my eyes begin to water. I just want to run out of the room.
He looks at me a long while, as I try, pointlessly, to keep my gaze anywhere but on him.
“What is it?” he asks, softly.
“Nothing,” I lie.
“Are you offended,” he asks disconcerted, the liquid turquoise of his eyes glowing with confusion.
“No.”
“I assume you’re lying,” he replies taking my hand and brushing his perfect lips along my fingertips.
“Maybe your assumption is correct,” I snap impatiently, my eyes launching a thousand accusations at him. The seconds tick by. When his lips move to whisper something in my ear, I notice that his breath is becoming as heavy and fast as mine. I stand still, waiting for it to go back to normal.
“It’s a sin to desire what is not mine,” he confesses. “But as irresistible as you are to me, I have to wait until Jason makes a false move.”
“You think that makes you look like the good guy?”
“I don’t need to make myself look like the good guy to have you. And you know why? Because you want me too.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, baby girl,” Donn laughs, a colder, more daring nuance to his voice. “I may not be a squeaky clean knight in shining armor, but you know you do.”
“I told you, Donn. You can have anything you want.”
“I know that, silly girl. But I want you. You are top of my wish list right now. I want you, just like others want you. There’s a line forming behind me.”
I can’t quite figure out how someone as goofy, awkward and self-conscious as me could ever be on anyone’s wish list.
“Do I have to make them all stand up and confess to convince you? You want names? Some might even surprise you!”
I shake my head and take a deep breath. One question is hammering away inside my head. I know that it’s totally foolish.
“Why do you want me, Donn? I mean …”
“Maybe because I can’t have you,” Donn interrupts. “Or maybe because I feel for you so deeply. I want the integrity in you that I don’t possess.”
“The integrity you don’t possess?” He laughs at my expression.
“I have broken the majority of the fundamental rules shared by most beliefs. I have stolen. I have killed a lot of people, Stella.”
I’m startled by the sweet tone in which he offers this unexpected confession.
“Bad things,” I mumble. Donn shrugs, and I know why.
“Do they count for anything?”
I step back an inch, so as to gain better perspective.
“Not lying is another fundamental rule. I lie all the time,” I reassure him. “First off, to my dad.”
“Yes, but you do it so badly that it doesn’t really count. You’ve never killed anyone. That’s a far greater sin.”
“As far as you know.” I stammer. “But it’s still a sin.” He smiles and ignores my half-hearted attempt at a joke.
“No one believes your lies, you’re just not convincing,” Donn laughs. “Jeff plays along with your lies. Scott would rather lie to himself than have to face the truth. But I will do my best to keep you as far as possible from temptation.”
“I hope you will!”
“It might be too late for me. But I swear I’d rather go to hell than see you end up there.”
“And you’d like to see me go someplace that you couldn’t get in? Wouldn’t that be hell for you, huh? Just try to behave yourself!”
Donn stifles a laugh at my stage-like drama.
“I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything. I’ll be seeing you again soon.”
I lean my head against his chest, not wanting to watch him leave. When I look at him, he is so radiant and godlike that he takes my breath away. That face, the face of a dark angel, exudes desire from every pore. Before I can get my breath back, he kisses me confidently on the cheek, as though he’s certain of future victory. He slips out of my grasp and heads toward the door.
“But Vuk…”
I can hear the desperation in my own voice. How can I not allow the one thing that torments me to influence my decisions? The other day in the library, Vuk’s reaction was to lose his natural-born insolence, revealing the intensity of his pain. I can’t get the sound of that torment out of my head, it breaks my heart. Donn shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, I’ve made my decision, and it hasn’t changed.”
I am petrified as I hear his words echo against the walls of the room, as he disappears out the door.
I am alone with Vuk. I stare at him gloomily. I walk to the center of the room to pack my things away in silence. Vuk joins me, tugging on my sleeve.
“Stella?”
I don’t reply.
He elbows me playfully. The pencil slip
s out of my fingers. I wait for the clink it should make as it falls onto the table. But Vuk has caught it mid-air and placed it on a shelf. His arms are just as quick to surround me, his lips now half an inch from my ear.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is low, caring.
When I look at him, I try not to give away the pain I’m feeling inside. He looks perfectly cool and collected, he betrays no emotion.
“You’d never hurt me, would you?” I almost plead.
“No, Stella. Not as long as I am in my right mind,” he replies, his irritated tone makes my hair stand on end. He’s not upset with me, but with himself. “I think … I think he wanted to speak to me alone.”
“I could have worked that out myself.”
“He’s afraid we won’t stick to the pact,” Vuk says, stiffening. “He’s never gonna’ let us have our way.”
“I know. But he can’t stop me coming to your house. I want to meet your family.”
“Well, he’s not your legal guardian.”
“Right. I’m over eighteen, I can do what I like,” I say.
Vuk’s face shines with warmth, satisfaction.
“Shall we get outta here?”
“I don’t have my car.”
“I’ll give you a ride, take you home.” He breaks off, his mind working overtime. “Just a slight complication,” he says, trying with all his might not to show his concern.
“With?”
“You think Donn will get mad if I give you a ride home?”
I look at him. He’s relaxed again, back to his normal color, even though the fatigue shines through.
“Well, Donn keeps saying you can’t take me to your house, he never mentioned Medford. But there’s something else a bit more troublesome, and probably more dangerous too.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, the time has come to see Jeff again.”
“Yeah, right,” Vuk laughs.
“Lucky for you, you’re a gigantic, invincible werewolf!”
“Huh, right! But no one is Jeff-proof!”
We walk to the door, and peek out to see if Donn is hanging around in the dark corridor, but see nothing. With a dramatic flair, Vuk wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Phew, vampires sure take some getting used to!”