by Ariel Tachna
If only he’d enjoyed the rest of the evening as much. Randy had been pretty much obnoxious except when the band was playing. Jaime wasn’t sure if he’d never noticed before or if his date was worse tonight than before. He knew he was less patient than usual with anything that kept him from home. For the past couple of weeks, he’d caught himself watching the clock at work, feeling the last hour drag like two, his thoughts fixed on Sophie and getting home to see her as quickly as possible. Tonight was no different, the thought of her going to bed without his giving her a good-night kiss almost enough to make him reject Randy’s invitation to linger for another round of drinks after the show ended. A quick glance at his watch showed the time already too late for Sophie’s regular bedtime, but she would be awake again during the night for a bottle. If Srikkanth was still awake when he got home, he’d offer to get up with her once, and if he wasn’t, Jaime could still sneak in for a kiss when he heard her wake up.
As Randy went to the bar to get their drinks, Jaime’s thoughts drifted back to Srikkanth holding Sophie before he left. He couldn’t help thinking how much Srikkanth would have enjoyed the concert and probably the break, although Sophie had been easier to deal with the last few days. Maybe he could offer to babysit for longer than just a run so Sri could go out for a movie or on a date. Even as he thought it, he knew he didn’t want that, a rather hypocritical thought given where he was at the moment. There was their agreement not to get involved with each other to consider, but a lot of things had changed in the past few weeks. He ignored Randy’s hints that they should go back to his place and resisted the other man’s blandishments urging him to agree to another date. Jaime wasn’t sure why Randy was trying so hard. It wasn’t like he was putting out or had any intention of doing so any time soon. When Randy persisted, Jaime finally snapped. “Look, we’ve had some fun together, but that’s all it is. Things have changed, and I won’t have nearly as much free time from here on.”
“We could still spend the time you do have together,” Randy said hopefully.
Jaime shook his head. “Thanks, but no.”
That was the end of easy conversation and sharing drinks. Jaime paid his portion of the tab and insisted he could take a taxi home. He just wanted to get away from Randy and back home with Sophie and Srikkanth where he belonged.
Chapter 7
“I was thinking about getting a rocking chair,” Srikkanth told Jaime as he was making dinner a few days later. Sophie was awake, and Jaime had offered to hold her while Srikkanth cooked. Sophie didn’t seem to have any complaints about it, sitting happily in Jaime’s lap while Srikkanth puttered around the kitchen. They’d fallen into a routine even before Jaime’s date, but since that night when Jaime came into his room while he was giving Sophie a bottle to kiss her goodnight, Jaime had hardly left Sophie’s side except to work and sleep. Sophie had started to recognize Jaime, too, reaching for him the same way she reached for Srikkanth. Srikkanth had vacillated between jealousy and relief for as long as it took him to remember that most babies grew up with—loved—two parents without their affection for one in any way diminishing their affection for the other. Once he’d given himself that kick in the pants, he’d stopped worrying about accepting Jaime’s offers of assistance. Besides, he didn’t know how he’d manage without Jaime’s help.
“That’s a good idea,” Jaime agreed. “I don’t know that it’ll fit in your room, though.”
“Yeah, I’d have to put it downstairs in the living room, but that puts it—and us—out in Nathaniel’s way even more than we already are.”
“You already know my opinion on that matter,” Jaime said, his lip curling at the thought of the ever more negative comments their third roommate had made over the past few weeks. “Sophie’s here to stay, so he can either get over it or move somewhere else.”
Srikkanth couldn’t argue with that except that it left him in a bind as far as the mortgage was concerned. He’d have to find another renter, and that would be even more difficult now that they’d have to tell any new housemate that there was a baby in the house along with two gay men. He couldn’t afford to force the issue.
“How long until dinner?” Nathaniel called from his room.
“About twenty minutes,” Srikkanth called back, checking the timer on the rice.
Nathaniel didn’t reply, but a moment later they heard the water running in the shower. Jaime rolled his eyes and refrained from mentioning again how much Nathaniel was getting on his nerves. Srikkanth knew already, and complaining didn’t do anything but spread negativity. His mother had lectured him repeatedly when he was younger about having a positive attitude and not adding negative energy to the world. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” was still her favorite adage. He wasn’t completely convinced she was right, but he’d learned the lesson anyway. He found it hard to be negative verbally in all but the most extreme circumstances.
About the time the rice was ready, Nathaniel came into the kitchen. “I’ll be moving out at the end of the month,” he announced. “I’ve found a new apartment where I’ll be more assured of peace and quiet. I can’t study with all the baby’s noise.”
Srikkanth nodded silently, knowing it had only been a matter of time. He did some quick calculating, trying to figure out how long he could afford to make up Nathaniel’s portion of the mortgage before he’d be in trouble financially. He figured he could make it a couple of months before they absolutely had to have a new roommate again.
“Thanks for letting me know early in the month,” he said finally. “The sooner I start looking for someone to move in, the better.”
Nathaniel nodded in return, serving a plateful of rice and curry and returning to his room to study.
“Do you really want to try to break in a new housemate with Sophie already here?” Jaime asked when Nathaniel’s door shut behind him.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Srikkanth replied. “I have to pay the mortgage, and I can’t make up the difference for very many months without a third person chipping in.”
“Can you pay half?” Jaime asked.
Srikkanth calculated quickly. “Yes, but that isn’t fair to you. You moved in with the understanding that you’d pay five hundred a month in rent.”
Jaime shrugged. “I can afford a bit extra, and we can use the extra room as a nursery. Sophie’s going to outgrow your room before too long. That way you’ll have a bit of privacy back as well.”
Srikkanth shook his head and stared at Jaime in bemusement. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because no one should have to raise a baby alone,” Jaime replied as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.
“I appreciate the offer,” Srikkanth said slowly, “but I’d feel better if I at least look for someone to take Nathaniel’s room. I’ll put some ads out tomorrow and see what happens.”
“Let me know if you have any interviews,” Jaime requested. “I’d like to meet whoever might be moving in.”
“Of course!” Srikkanth exclaimed. “It wouldn’t be fair to you to have someone move in without your approval. Whatever we decide to do, we’ll decide it together.”
Jaime left it at that as Srikkanth dished up a plate for him and set it on the table where he could reach it. Looking down at Sophie, Jaime smiled and kissed her forehead again before picking up his fork.
As he started to eat, Jaime tried to imagine adding another person to their table. It was easy to imagine Sophie there in a few years, but the thought of sharing her attention with a third adult now did not appeal at all. He told himself that was ridiculous, but his head didn’t seem to have any control over his heart in this matter. He could accept it and move on or fight it and fail. He figured he might as well accept it and figure out how to make sure he didn’t end up in an untenable solution. He doubted Srikkanth would find many takers anyway, given that they’d have to share the condo with two men and a baby, but Jaime decided right then to find a reason to reject anyone who was serio
usly interested. Sophie needed her own space, and so did Srikkanth, and that meant keeping Nathaniel’s room unoccupied.
“That’s quite a scowl on your face,” Srikkanth commented. “Is everything all right?”
Consciously, Jaime summoned a smile. “Yes, I was just thinking about the hassle of finding a new roommate. Are you sure that’s necessary? Couldn’t I just move down here so we can turn my room into a proper nursery? She can have her own bed, and you can get the rocking chair you were talking about earlier. And that way she’ll have a place for her toys.”
It was tempting, Srikkanth had to admit to himself, but it didn’t seem fair to Jaime. He’d see how things went with the interviews and go from there.
The smell of cigarette smoke clung to the clothes of the first person they met. Srikkanth had run out of space in the ad after mentioning two men and a baby in the condo and hadn’t had room for his usual no-smoker comment. He grimaced at the stench. Even across the room, he saw Jaime’s nose twitch and then Sophie’s little face scrunch up as the stale odor reached them. Srikkanth went through the niceties, but they all knew this was a pointless interview. “So you’re a smoker?” he asked after a few minutes.
The man shrugged. “I have one occasionally.”
“With the baby in the house, we really can’t have you smoking here,” Srikkanth said, not needing Jaime to tell him that.
“Oh, it’s not a problem,” the prospective renter said with a smile. “I can always go outside. You’ve got a patio, right? That’s fine for me.”
Srikkanth wasn’t sure what he thought of that, but he completed the interview anyway. The only time he’d ever accepted a roommate on the spot was Jaime, and while that had worked out incredibly well, he wanted to discuss any decisions with his friend, particularly since Jaime knew so much more about what Sophie would need than he did.
“No way,” Jaime said as soon as the man closed the door on his way out. “If he smokes enough to smell that strong, he’ll still expose Sophie to the toxins. Thirdhand smoke isn’t quite as bad as secondhand smoke, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for her.”
“I wasn’t sure,” Srikkanth agreed, “but it makes sense. I mean, it’s unpleasant to be around even if it weren’t harmful.”
“For all of us.” Jaime cradled Sophie closer protectively, glad he didn’t have to persuade Srikkanth out of this one.
Srikkanth nodded. “I’ll call him later and let him know to keep looking then. I’ve only had one other person interested. She’s coming at the end of the week to meet us.”
“She?” Jaime repeated, not sure how he felt about adding a woman to their comfortably masculine existence. Sophie didn’t count. Not at three weeks old, for sure!
Srikkanth shrugged. “I didn’t see any harm in meeting her. We’ve always had male roommates, but that’s more a question of the way it worked out than because of anything set in stone, at least for my part.”
Jaime tried to think about it objectively, but every image assailing him detailed the woman swooping in, seeing Sophie, and taking over her care, leaving Jaime, if not Srikkanth, out in the cold. “We can meet her,” he said, not able to work up any enthusiasm for the thought.
If Jaime hadn’t been looking for a reason to reject any roommate, he suspected he’d have been fine with Julie, the woman who came to interview with them on Friday. She was polite, had good references, had a steady job, and could move in immediately. The only problem was the fact that she only needed a place for six months while she was working on a project. Once that was over, she’d be moving out again. Before Sophie, that wouldn’t have particularly posed a problem for Jaime and Srikkanth. It gave them time to search for a longer-term roommate, but Jaime didn’t want a new roommate, short or long term. When the woman left, he turned to Srikkanth.
“I don’t like the idea of someone moving in for just a couple of months,” he said. “Sophie needs more stability than that. She’ll get attached to Julie and then Julie will be gone and she won’t understand why. If we’re going to have someone move in, it needs to be someone who plans to stay.”
“For how long?” Srikkanth asked worriedly. “I mean, we can’t expect someone to commit to moving in here with us until Sophie’s grown.”
“No, of course not,” Jaime agreed, “but we don’t want a revolving door either. At her age, she needs to form attachments that last more than a few months. It’s incredibly important for babies to have that kind of stability.”
“All right,” Srikkanth conceded. “I’ll tell Julie we’re not interested.”
They got a call about a week later from another person interested in their ad. Jaime grimaced behind his hand when Srikkanth told him, wondering what excuse he could possibly use to reject this one. He agreed to the meeting time Srikkanth proposed and spent the week plotting ways to convince Srikkanth not to let anyone move in. Ever.
The third applicant seemed like a perfectly reasonable guy, a shift worker at Good Samaritan who currently worked nights. Jaime could tell Srikkanth was leaning toward accepting him as a renter, and again, if it had just been the two of them, Jaime probably would’ve agreed. He wanted the extra space for Sophie though, so after the man left, he turned to Srikkanth with a disappointed look on his face. “I know she isn’t sleeping through the night at the moment,” he began, “but Sophie needs to learn the difference between day and night, and having someone on an opposite schedule risks throwing that all off. You don’t want her to be awake all night, especially when you have to go back to work.”
Srikkanth frowned. “Are you sure? I really liked this one.”
“I did too,” Jaime assured him, “but we have to think about what’s best for Sophie. Would you rather I call to tell him?”
In the end, Srikkanth had called, feeling it was his responsibility since he was the one who’d placed the ad. He let the ad expire at the end of the week, giving in to Jaime’s insistence that they use the extra room for Sophie. They couldn’t move anything in for her until Nathaniel moved out, but Jaime convinced Srikkanth to go shopping for her anyway. They could put the furniture in storage until the room was ready, he insisted.
As with everything else where Sophie was concerned, Srikkanth let himself be persuaded. They returned to Babies / Us in search of the perfect crib set and rocking chair. The rocker was easy. Srikkanth loved the gliders, so then the only question was what color wood and fabric to get.
“Let’s look at cribs and then you can see what matches,” Jaime suggested. “After all, there’s a lot more variety with the cribs than with the gliders.”
Srikkanth agreed and let Jaime take him over to the selection of cribs and bedding sets. He grimaced at the first several they passed, all frills and lace and princesses. “You aren’t going to be a prissy girl, are you?” he asked Sophie, asleep in her stroller. “I won’t know what to do with you if you are.”
“There are plenty of other options,” Jaime reminded him. “We don’t have to pick something just because she’s a girl. We can pick whatever we want for her. Even if it isn’t a typical thing for a girl.”
“Yeah, but I don’t particularly like the boats and trains and stuff for the boys either,” Srikkanth said.
“They’ve got gender-neutral stuff too,” Jaime pointed out. “Look at this one.” He showed Srikkanth a comforter set with four panes of different stuffed animals snuggled together. “This one isn’t girly at all.”
Srikkanth looked at it for a moment, stroking the soft material of the quilt. “It looks nice,” he agreed.
“And it’s on sale,” Jaime pointed out. “Half off, and for almost twice as many pieces as some of the other products.”
“Okay, okay,” Srikkanth laughed. “You’ve sold me. Now we just have to find a crib.”
Jaime grinned and followed Srikkanth to the furniture section of the store. “Pick something you can convert and that she can use later, not just as a baby,” Jaime advised. “Otherwise you’ll be buying new furniture for her again in a few ye
ars.”
“That makes sense,” Srikkanth agreed, walking slowly through the displays. He stopped finally at one in dark cherry. Studying the long sides that would turn into the headboard and footboard of a double bed, he decided they wouldn’t be out of place in a teenager’s or even an adult’s bedroom. “And it has a matching chest and armoire. So all we need is a cherry glider and footstool and we’ll be ready.”
“See,” Jaime teased. “I told you Sophie needed her own room. We can still use the playpen when she’s sleeping downstairs or when we want to keep her in one place while she’s awake.”
“If we’re going to have some extra room, maybe we could look at a swing for her too,” Srikkanth mused, glancing over at the display.