The Conan Compendium

by Various Authors

  "I thought I would drop in and surprise you," Lalo said, "although I am certain almost everything surprises your apelike companion there. What is going on here?" He grinned his perpetual grin, and even Conan had to return a smile.

  "I shall explain and introduce you to Tull later," Conan said. "At the moment I think it best we leave before the fog clears."

  "Come, come, Conan, does the fog ever clear for you?"

  Elashi laughed, and that surprised Conan not in the least. These two should marry. She would be more than a match for the straw-haired fellow.

  Deek and Wikkell proceeded in their silken boat, but more cautiously than before, sculling slowly. They arrived in the vicinity of the confrontation between their respective mistress and master, nay―make that ex-mistress and ex-master―as the final wisps of magical fog began to clear from the water. They were in time to see Chuntha leaving rapidly upon a raft made of what looked like two dozen of Deek's brothers and Rey directing his moving dock toward the nearest shoreline.

  "I wonder what happened here."

  Deek could not speak in the boat, but his curiosity was no less than Wikkell's. He waved his tail in agitation.

  "I agree," Wikkell said. "Best we not get too close. They don't see us, and I for one would prefer to keep it that way. Let us find a cove or small bay and lay low."

  Wikkell turned the small boat. He glanced over his shoulder. "Not that it matters any longer," he said, "but I do not see the people we were sent to fetch. I wonder if they have escaped? We might still find them."

  Deek shook his head in negation.

  "You're right. We are committed now. Although perhaps we might induce those three to help us. They seem very lucky, and it would not hurt to have them on our side."

  If we happen to run into them, Deek thought.

  "If we happen to run into them," Wikkell said.

  Odd, Deek thought. They were beginning to think a lot alike. This might well be the start of a beautiful friendship―assuming they lived long enough to enjoy it.

  * * *

  Fifteen

  Tull's immediate reaction upon attaining dry land was to flee back toward the place where they had been captured. Conan was of a different mind.

  "The wizard will expect that," he said. "Better we should proceed in the opposite direction."

  Lalo agreed. "Despite your appearance to the contrary, that is actually very clever."

  Conan shook his head. Lalo's curse could turn even a compliment into an insult.

  The four of them moved quickly along the fogged shore, hoping to be well away before the cover evaporated.

  Not five minutes later, another series of tunnels branched off to their right. Tull turned to Conan. "What do you think?" he asked.

  "You're asking him?" Lalo said to Tull. "There must be more than a bit of slack in your wits, old man."

  Tull reached for his knife.

  "Wait," Elashi said, catching Tull's arm. "Lalo here is under a geas."

  "He'll be under the ground if he does not curb his tongue," Tull said.

  "He cannot help insulting you―that is his curse."

  Tull considered this. "Really? What a strange thing to inflict upon someone."

  "Not to interrupt this discussion," Conan said, "but we are apt to suffer much worse if we stand around and allow ourselves te be retaken by the wizard."

  "Aye," Tull said. "So which way?"

  "That one," Conan said, pointing at the nearest tunnel. He glanced at Elashi to see if she planned to gainsay that, but for once the woman was silent. She was watching Lalo.

  Into the tunnel they fled. After twenty minutes the corridor bifurcated, and they chose the right-hand fork and continued on. Shortly the narrow pipe blossomed out into a wide, low-roofed chamber, the floor of which was littered with large, pillow-shaped stones. The four sat upon one of these stones to catch their breath.

  "Perhaps one of you nit brains would be so good as to explain what is going on here," Lalo said.

  Elashi looked at Conan. "I think he means you," she said.

  "You are so much better with words," Conan told her. "You tell him."

  "Very well." Elashi explained their adventures of the last few days. Tull added background material about the caves and the ongoing battle between the witch and the wizard. When they were done, Elashi asked Lalo how he had come to be there.

  "As it happened, I wore thin my welcome at the village inn. I insulted the owner's ugly daughter once too often and he showed me the door. An old story. So I decided to take the dangerous route, feeling I had not much to lose. I saw evidence of your passage―the dead watchbeast and the Harskeel's men, looking somewhat worse for the local scavengers having been at them. And I passed almost entirely through the area without incident… until the ground opened beneath my feet and I fell into the huge lake below. I thought certain my time had come to leave this world for the next. Imagine my surprise when I saw the three of you standing on a dock practically right in my path."

  "I can imagine," Conan said. His voice was dry.

  "Well, anyway, what has that tiny mind of yours come up with for a way out of here?"

  Curse or no curse, if Lalo kept talking that way, Conan doubted if he could maintain his temper much longer. He smiled benignly, though, and said, "At first we merely thought to find a way out, to escape."

  "At first?" Elashi and Tull echoed in unison.

  "Aye. After that last episode, our plans changed somewhat."

  "They did?" Tull and Elashi said.

  Conan continued. "Aye, they did. We now have in mind collecting some of the valuables amassed by either the witch or the wizard or both, to pay for our troubles here. Then we will leave."

  "Are you mad?" Elashi asked.

  "Not at all. You will recall Tull telling us that both the witch and the wizard have assorted jewels and gold, collected in their caves through centuries of robbing passersby."

  "Aye," Elashi said. "So? You cannot expect to simply stroll into the stronghold of a magician and steal such valuables."

  "And why not? The witch and wizard are both out here looking for us, are they not? Recall that worm raft we saw. Think about it―where is the last place you would expect them to look?"

  "He is mad," Elashi said to Tull,

  Lalo laughed. "Perhaps, but there is nothing wrong with his plan, despite the fact that it was hatched by him. When the farmer is in the field, the hens are ripe for the fox."

  "You have taken leave of your senses as well," Elashi said.

  Lalo nodded. "Doubtless after years of smiling so. As you might suspect, I have little love for wizards, and being compensated by one pleases me greatly. With enough money, one may insult anyone and get away with it. A rich man can buy companions who will withstand much for sufficient payment. Or mayhap even find another mage who can lift the spell. With great wealth comes great respect. I shall be happy to assist you, you barbarian buffoon."

  Conan smiled. "Glad to have your help, Lalo."

  Elashi and Tull looked at each other.

  "Maybe Conan does have something," Tull said.

  Elashi said, "Oh, he has something all right―half the wits of a bedbug!"

  "I am open to suggestions," Conan said.

  Despite herself, Elashi grinned. She shook her head. "All right, I take your point. I have no better idea. At the moment, anyway."

  "Then we shall do it," Conan said. "I think I can direct us back to Tull's hideaway. Can you lead us to the wizard or the witch's chambers from there, Tull?"

  "Aye."

  "Then let us be on our way."

  Conan felt good about his plan. He figured that they owed the witch and the wizard much for all the grief those two had caused them. What better blow to strike than one that would provide financial benefit in the process? As Lalo had said, sufficient money would make a soothing balm. A most soothing balm indeed…

  Though they had grown used to each other's company, Wikkell and Deek decided that it would be best to return
to their own people as soon as possible. With the witch and the wizard away from their chambers, the time would never be better for the worm and the cyclops to approach their own kind with their plans to depose the evil humans.

  So when Chuntha and Katamay Rey went deeper into the far reaches of the Sunless Sea searching for the three humans, Deek and Wikkell turned -their craft homeward.

  They sculled the little boat along until both were hungry and tired, then stopped to make a meal upon assorted fungi and to rest themselves.

  "It will not be easy, you realize."

  "N-n-no. O-our p-p-people w-w-will b-be a-afraid."

  Wikkell nodded and munched upon a brownish mushroom with a slimy cap. "And rightly so. Both the wizard and the witch are powerful. Many of us may die. It will take some convincing. I fear my brothers may feel I am merely trying to save my own hide."

  "T-t-true e-enough."

  "Certainly. But in the long run, it will be better for us without such tyrants as rulers."

  "I-in th-the l-long r-r-run, w-we a-are a-all d-d-dead."

  "Yes, to be sure. But look at us, for instance. We get along well enough, though I confess I had misgivings early on."

  "A-as d-d-did I."

  "But there is no reason your people and mine cannot be friends, save for those two who rule."

  "A-a-agreed."

  "We must convince our brothers and sisters to take the long view, Deek. Why, we might even create some kind of joint council, your folk and mine, with input from the plants and perhaps even the bats and Whites. Bring prosperity to the caves, instead of the boots of Rey and Chuntha upon our throats."

  "Am-am-ambitious i-idea."

  "True. But united, we could certainly defeat even such powerful beings as those two."

  "O-one w-w-would h-hope."

  Wikkell smiled and the green light played upon his thick teeth. "Here, have some of this slimeball."

  "Th-thank y-you, f-f-friend."

  Deek caught the succulent fungus in the gash that served his kind for a mouth. Normally the worms kept their mouths hidden under a flap of tough epidermis, never revealing the orifice except to the most trusted of friends or a mate. At this point Deek felt that if he could not trust Wikkell the one-eye, he likely could not trust anyone.

  "We might well go down in history," the cyclops said, reaching for another slimeball.

  "O-or i-into th-the l-l-lime pits," Deek said.

  Yes. There was that, too.

  Katamay Rey's anger flowed through him, tempered somewhat by fear. The stranger in the caves―Conan, he had heard the female call him―ran loose once again. A bad sign, considering the crystal's prophesy. Of course it was the Witch's fault. Somehow she had caused the ceiling to fall in almost upon them, and her construct or thrall, whichever it had been, had very nearly hit its target, save for Rey's quick warding action. The following attack, with its blasted fog and his counter, had depleted the magical flux "so that he had been unable to deal the witch the crushing blow she so justly deserved. In fact, had a bit more of the mantalogical energies been drained, the very dock upon which he stood would have dissolved, and that would have been a fine predicament to have faced.

  When at last the fog had cleared, both witch and quarry where nowhere to be seen. There was barely enough flux left to construct the never-ending dock to chase them. The going was slow at first, until the wizard and his cyclopes departed from the defluxed region, back into the farther reaches of the Sunless Sea. Oh, she was going to pay, Chuntha was, and twist properly in the doing of it.

  Chuntha's raft had very nearly come apart while battling the wizard. The magical glue had softened and the entire construct had shifted and wobbled before she had enough sense to turn her craft and beat a fast retreat from the immediate area close to Rey. Fortunately, she emerged from the space where the magic had been drained before her raft became a collection of worms once again. The glue solidified and Chuntha sparked the magicked screw to higher rotation. The beautiful barbarian had escaped, and no doubt he and his party would be running for all they were worth, away from the wizard. Chuntha merely had to retrace her earlier course along the waterway until she spotted them, or some trace of them.

  She had the advantage of the wizard now, and she meant to utilize it fully. She wondered what that apparition had been falling from the ceiling, but did not worry overmuch about it. Probably some spell Rey had cast incorrectly, and it served him right to have it backfire so. That was not her concern; the man she sought was, and she intended to bring all her energies to bear upon his retrieval.

  Having abandoned the raft and taken the route along the shore, the Harskeel arrived at the end of the confrontation between witch and wizard. As the magical fog still enshrouded the scene, the Harskeel realized that there was perhaps more than a bit of danger here for itself and its quest. Quickly the Harskeel ordered the bats dispersed, to return later. It found a large, horseshoe-shaped rock to crawl under and conceal itself.

  From out of the fog a raft of giant white worms appeared, bearing a beautiful, naked woman. This craft went back the way the Harskeel had just come.

  Moments later the fog dissipated and the wizard was revealed, ranting upon a dock in the middle of the waterway.

  Of Conan and his companions there was no sign.

  After a moment the wizard began walking upon his dock and a new section of it appeared in front of the marching cyclopes. They followed the path of the witch's worm raft.

  Interesting, the Harskeel thought. It had been beyond the edges of the fog, and Conan had not come this way. Since the barbarian was not held captive by either witch or wizard, he must then have gone in the opposite direction. Aha! The witch and the wizard moved in the wrong direction; too bad for them, but not for the Harskeel.

  As soon as the wizard moved from view, it would summon those stupid Bloodbats and resume its quest. With luck, it might be some time before wizard or witch realized their error; with more luck, perhaps they would destroy each other, although the Harskeel thought it best not to depend greatly upon that.

  The wizard and his cyclopes marched along the magical dock and out of sight. Now, where were those moronic bats?

  * * *

  Sixteen

  With his uncanny sense of direction fully operative, Conan managed to lead the party of four through twists and turns that eventually ended at the hideaway Tull had constructed.

  Oddly enough, the bat cave, which had to be traversed again, was empty of those winged creatures. Not that Conan particularly cared where they had gotten to, as long as that place lay far away.

  "My," Lalo said as he observed Tull's hidden alcove, "quite the nest-maker, are you not? Pity you aren't female, you'd make some man a fine wife."

  Tull's smile was obviously forced, and he kept toying with the handle of his dagger.

  Conan could well see how it would be necessary for Lalo to be an adept in some form of combat. Even when you knew about the curse, Lalo tended to grate upon the nerves in a hurry. To break the tension, Conan asked, "Which is the closer―the witch's abode or that of the wizard?"

  "Each is about the same distance from here, I reckon," Tull said.

  "Hmm. Then which would likely hold the most booty?"

  Tull scratched at his bearded chin, considering the question. "Depends on what you're looking for. The wizard, he has a fondness for gold. It don't tarnish like silver nor rust like iron, and the caves are some damp, as you no doubt have noticed."

  "Ah, that sounds promising," Lalo said.

  Both Conan and Tull held their silence for a moment, waiting for Lalo to add an insult, but none was forthcoming. That was almost irritating in itself.

  "Then again," Tull finally continued, "the witch, she has a liking for precious stones. Rubies, emeralds, fire-rocks, like that."

  Conan considered that. Such a choice was most interesting. Gold? Or gems? A dilemma. "Can we perhaps raid both chambers?"

  "Madness," Elashi said to Lalo. "Whatever wits he may ever hav
e possessed, they are gone now. Greed makes you stupid, Conan."

  Conan ignored her, but Tull's next comment scotched the idea of a dual robbery.

  "Not likely," Tull said. "They are maybe the same distance from here, but in different directions. It's two days' march between 'em, easy."

  "Too bad," Conan said. "Well, the witch's chambers, then."

  Elashi raised one eyebrow at Conan. "Why so?"

  It lay upon the top of Conan's tongue to answer that he thought dealing with a witch―a woman―would be easier than dealing with a wizard―a man―should anything go wrong. Recalling his travels with Elashi so far, however, he realized that to speak such reasoning aloud would only irritate her arid bring forth an undammed flow of invective. For some reason, Elashi seemed convinced that women were the equal of men in practically all things, and Conan had no desire to listen to another of her tirades. Perhaps, he thought, he was learning to deal with women after all.

  "Well?" she said.

  Conan thought quickly. "Well-cut jewels are more valuable than gold, and much lighter. We can carry more gems than coin."

  That made sense, and Elashi nodded.

  Conan kept his face an expressionless mask, though he was smiling inside. There was nothing wrong with the way his mind functioned, Lalo and Elashi's carping to the contrary.

  "Then let us wait no longer," Conan said. "Lead on, Tull."

  Wikkell's labors among his fellow cyclopes had not been spectacularly successful. Their resistance had been somewhat more than he had anticipated.

  As he trudged along a back tunnelway to meet

  Deek, he recalled one of many similar conversations: "Attack the wizard? And the witch? Are you daft?"

  "Certainly there is some risk," Wikkell began.

  "Some risk? By all the demons in Gehanna, Wikkell, those two will certainly turn us into ooze if we dare oppose their will."

  "They are but two, and we are many."

  "So said the slug about the pair of falling boulders, brother. There is much room upon the floors of these caves for puddles that once were such as we."