IGNITE

by Paradis, Lily

  “This is Callie,” Jenny said, raising her eyebrow. “You know, your dead stepmom’s child.”

  I looked at Dean incredulously. I couldn’t believe she was being so blunt about it. Callie just scowled at us and sniffled.

  “Wow Jenny,” Dean said after a moment of awkward silence. “Thank you for that superfluous introduction. I think it’s time for us to go.”

  As much as Dean made me nervous, I didn’t want to be left alone with Callie. I had no idea what do say to her.

  Jenny rolled her eyes and turned to her friend.

  “Call me if you need me, okay?”

  Callie nodded and sniffed again as she blotted her eyes with a tissue.

  Jenny hugged her and Callie stood there like a rag doll. I felt a pang in my stomach as the feelings of loss started clinging to me once again when I remembered how I felt when I lost my Dad.

  Dean turned to me and smiled weakly, but this was different than his flirtatious smile. It still had an edge, but it was much more serious, and almost sad.

  “Lauren Lindsay,” he said as he held out his hand.

  I took a deep breath. His personality would take some time to get used to.

  Wait, get used to?

  That meant I thought I would see him again after tonight.

  “Dean Powell,” I said as I took it, trying to match his casual demeanor.

  He smiled even bigger and squeezed my hand as his blue Henry Cavill eyes looked into mine.

  Jenny made a noise of disgust and opened the front door as she grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled.

  “Come on, lover boy,” She sounded exasperated.

  She probably had to do this all the time.

  “See you soon,” he said with a smile as he turned to follow her outside.

  My heart betrayed me and flipped.

  As soon as they were gone, I immediately realized how awkward it was that Callie and I were just standing in the entryway all alone.

  I tried to think of something to say, but nothing really seemed appropriate. “Oh, I’m sorry your mom died and now you’re stuck with a total stranger,” didn’t really cut it.

  Jed and Mary appeared at the top of the stairway where Jenny and Callie had been minutes before as if they knew I needed rescuing. Neither of them spoke a word as they descended.

  “Lauren,” he said, nodding to me.

  “Callie,” he placed a gentle hand on her arm. She still hadn’t said anything, and I wasn’t sure how to approach her.

  “Sweetie, I’m so sorry,” Mary said looking at me. “But we have to leave you now. We intended to spend the night, but Jed just got a call.”

  Jed was always getting bizarre and mysterious calls, but I was pretty sure they just wanted to integrate me into the environment as quickly as possible so I could get to know the kids so they could persuade me to stay. There was no other explanation for their sudden departure in this situation. Jed might be an honorable man, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t sly when he had to be.

  Callie all but stomped her foot and ran upstairs.

  Mary turned to follow her, but Jed stopped her, whispering a soft, “Let her go.”

  “We’ll call in the morning,” he said, looking at me. “There’s nothing more we can do tonight. Your car will be here tomorrow in time for you to take the kids to school. We think it’s best they try to continue their normal routines.”

  “School?” I asked, looking at Mary blankly. No one expected me to go back to school right after my Dad died. These kids were tough. Either that, or they didn’t understand just yet, as was probably the case with Emma.

  “Just make sure they’re awake by seven,” she said. “They can get ready by themselves. Callie will drive herself, you just need to take Chase and Emma. They’ll show you the way.”

  Apparently I didn’t get a choice in the matter. What about what I wanted to do tomorrow?

  “Make sure Chase takes his pills in the morning,” Mary added.

  I wondered what they were for and made a mental note to check the bottle before he woke up.

  Jed pulled me close into a bear hug that reminded me too much of my dad. When he released me, Mary hugged me tightly and stroked my hair.

  “It will all work out,” she whispered. “I promise it will, sweetheart. You’re so brave.”

  I didn’t feel very brave at all.

  “The second door to the left is the guest bedroom. You’ll find everything you need in there.”

  “Okay.” I was so tired I just wanted to go fall asleep as soon as possible and forget about my new responsibilities.

  They left, and I heard them quietly locking the door from the outside.

  I turned off the light in the entryway and dragged myself into the bedroom Mary suggested. I didn’t even bother to check to see what Jed meant by “everything I needed”. I didn’t care if I slept in my clothes or brushed my teeth. I just wanted to sleep. I walked over to the bed, got inside, then pulled the sheets over my head and shut my eyes.

  I WOKE UP with a start as I took in my surroundings when I realized I wasn’t in my own bed. After glancing at my watch to check the time since I was still without a working cell phone, I took a deep breath and crept upstairs, hugging my sweatshirt around me.

  I knocked softly on Chase’s door and it creaked open ever so slightly. I silently prayed that the noise and the sliver of light would be enough to wake him.

  “Chase?”

  I knocked on his door again and waited for a response. I was no expert at this.

  I decided to try Emma before I opened Chase’s door all the way, so I walked gingerly into her room. Her golden hair was all around her face and over the pillow.

  “Emma,” I said softly as I tapped her shoulder. “Time to wake up, sweetie.”

  She rolled over slightly and squinted her eyes at me where I sat perched on the edge of her bed.

  “Mommy?” she whispered.

  I bit my lip and my heart sank as it filled with sympathy for her.

  “No, it’s Lauren. Remember me? I’m taking you to school today, okay?” I put on the best smile I could muster.

  She just looked at me like she didn’t remember who I was.

  “I’m Dean’s friend. Do you remember meeting me yesterday when he was here?”

  Her eyes lit up at his name, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. He had even her under his spell, and she was in kindergarten.

  “Do you need help getting dressed?”

  She shook her head sleepily, her curls falling all around her face as she stretched. The ringlets were so naturally beautiful that girls would kill for that hair when she was older.

  “I’m going to go make you some breakfast while you put your clothes on. What do you want to eat?”

  She sat up and wrinkled her forehead like it was the most difficult decision of her life.

  “Mmmm, toast.” She said finally as she looked at me with a small smile, silently checking for my approval.

  “You got it. I’ll come get you in a couple of minutes, okay?”

  She nodded again and started to get out of bed, singing slightly as she moved some of her stuffed animals to the side, then tucked them back under the covers so they could sleep while she was at school.

  I envied Emma. She didn’t understand that what had happened to her mom was permanent yet, like the rest of us did.

  I sighed and shut her door, then went to go find Chase. For some reason he made me even more nervous than Callie did.

  I knocked on his door again.

  “Chase?” I said softly as I opened it. The room was dark, but as soon as the light hit his bed, I saw him shoot up, his eyes wide with terror.

  “Sorry!” I had never felt so bad about anything in my entire life after seeing the look on his face. “It’s just me, Lauren. I’m going to go make some breakfast. I’ll see you downstairs in a few minutes.”

  He just stared at me, so I smiled awkwardly and shut the door. I hoped he would get ready and come downstai
rs without any more prompting, but I had no idea how to parent adolescent boys.

  As I walked to the stairway, I passed Callie’s door. I could see that the light was on through the crack under the door, but decided not to bother her. After all, Mary said that she would drive herself to the high school while I drove Emma and Chase.

  I didn’t know what else to make, so I found some eggs in the fridge and scrambled them, then made some toast and put them on two kid plates. There was an ancient coffee pot, but it was better than nothing. I was hunting for some sugar when Chase came down first, rubbing his eyes.

  “Here, I made this for you,” I told him, handing him the plate.

  “Thanks,” he took it and sat down at the kitchen table without another word.

  “What time do we need to leave?” I sipped on my weak coffee.

  “Probably in ten minutes.”

  “Okay.” That didn’t leave much time for them to eat.

  Just then, I heard Emma’s little feet coming down the hallway. When she came around the corner, she was dressed from head to toe in pink with little glittery shoes and a princess crown.

  “Well good morning your highness,” I told her as I pulled out her chair at the table with a sweeping gesture.

  Chase smiled a little bit, which I took as a good sign.

  “Are you going to wear your crown to school?” I asked as I watched her pick apart her toast.

  “Probably.”

  I smiled as I finished off my coffee. Emma was quickly becoming my favorite.

  “Here, I’ll put your plates away,” I told them as they finished. “Go get your backpacks. Chase, remember to take your pills.”

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot.” He grabbed a bottle off of the counter and shook one into his hand, then used the rest of his orange juice to wash it down. They were for ADHD, so I knew he should take them, but didn’t want to embarrass him for it either if he was self conscious.

  As I was shutting the dishwasher, the sound of a door slamming made me jump.

  “What was that?” I asked Emma breathlessly as I clutched a hand to my chest. She was still standing in the middle of the kitchen practicing what I assumed to be her version of ballet.

  “Callie going to school,” she said flatly. “Can I show you my backpack?”

  I kneeled down to her level.

  “Of course,” I told her. “Meet me by the door in just a minute, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Are you all ready to go?”

  “Yes,” she said, looking up at me. “Wait, what’s your name again?”

  “Lauren.”

  “Lau-ren,” she repeated, drawing out the syllables.

  I studied her eyes for a moment.

  “You can call me something else if you want, if that’s easier for you to remember.”

  Her face lit up, as if I was sharing a secret with her.

  “You mean I can pick?”

  I laughed a little.

  “As long as it sounds like my name, so I know you’re talking to me.”

  “Ummm,” she said as she put her finger to her mouth and looked around. “I don’t know.”

  “You can think about it while you’re at school,” I said smoothing her hair back. “Did you brush your hair?”

  She shook her head deviously.

  “Go brush it and meet me by the garage door in two minutes,” I challenged her.

  She took off running toward the stairway and I grabbed my purse as I opened the door to the garage. I still didn’t have a key to the house, so I assumed this would be how I would get in and out until I did. I prayed to God my car would be parked outside, or else Chase and Emma were going to be late because we would end up walking.

  Thankfully, I could see it sitting in the driveway as the door went up. I fished my set of car keys out of my purse as Chase appeared and put his shoes on next to me.

  “Emma!” I called out. “Time to go!”

  “I’m coming, I’m coming,” came a panicked little voice, followed by the little girl that I was already so fond of.

  I realized in that moment that if I was going to stay, it would be for Emma. I shook the thought away because it made me feel like a horrible person. I wanted the best for her, but I wasn’t ready to be someone’s guardian.

  Chase was already outside holding onto the car door handle, impatiently waiting for me to unlock it. As soon as I did, he climbed into the backseat and dutifully helped Emma fasten her seat belt.

  Thankfully, there was a brand new cell phone sitting on the seat, which I assumed was also Jed’s doing. I wasn’t sure if it was activated yet, but closer examination would have to wait until everyone was safely dropped off at their destinations.

  Chase gave turn by turn directions while Emma just stared out the window.

  “What time do you get picked up?”

  I glanced at them in the rearview mirror.

  “Three thirty,” Chase answered shortly.

  “I’ll be right here waiting,” I told them as I parked in the hug-and-go loop in front of the school. Chase thanked me and got out, then immediately ran over to a group of friends. Emma didn’t budge.

  “Here,” I killed the engine and got out to open her door. “I’ll walk you in.”

  She pouted but took my hand as I led her to the front of the school.

  “Can you show me your classroom?” I asked kneeling beside her as I tried to turn her frown upside-down.

  She nodded and pulled me by the hand toward another door where I followed her inside. As soon as we got to a classroom filled with other kids that looked to be about Emma’s age, she stopped short.

  ”What’s wrong?” I asked her, bending down.

  ”I want Mommy,” she said, shaking her head as she started to cry.

  A woman that I assumed was Emma’s teacher came over. She wasn’t much older than me. She bent down and brushed Emma’s hair out of her eyes like she did it every day of her life.

  ”Oh Emma,” she said softly.

  Then she looked to me.

  ”I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said, and I could tell she genuinely meant it. She was one of those people that you could tell was truly meant to be an elementary school teacher. She still had that amazing innocent quality about her despite her age. She extended her hand to me.

  “I’m Ms. Abbott.”

  “Lauren Lindsay.” I held out the hand that Emma wasn’t clutching.

  “Yes, Jed emailed me early this morning,” she explained, worry still covering her face. “Is Emma up for school today?”

  She looked down at the little girl who had her thumb in her mouth.

  Emma shook her head and turned to me as she tucked herself under my arm and clutched my hand like it might fall off at any time.

  When I kneeled down and picked her up, I was struck by how natural it felt.

  “Emma, do you want to go to school today?”

  Her frown deepened and she shook her head.

  Ms. Abbott looked at me sympathetically.

  “Emma, how about I just see you tomorrow? Maybe a day with your sister will make you feel better.”

  I didn’t bother to correct her that she was barely my stepsister. Emma didn’t need that right now.

  “Does that sound like a good idea?” I asked Emma.

  She nodded but stayed silent, so I adjusted her in my arms and she put her head on my shoulder. Ms. Abbott helped me take her backpack off and sling it over my other arm.

  “Thank you so much,” I told Ms. Abbott. “We’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully in a better mood, right Emma?”

  She made some kind of incoherent sound, and her teacher gave me a weak smile.

  “Feel better sweetie,” she said to Emma, patting her back gently. “You too,” she told me with a look of understanding as she backed away into the classroom with the other kids. “It was very nice to meet you.”

  “You as well,” I said, grateful that Emma wouldn’t be in trouble for missing school today. I wasn’t sure wh
at to do with her instead, but it was clear she wasn’t ready to go back to her everyday routine just yet. She might be little, but she still understood that her mom wasn’t there like usual.

  “Alright,” I said, more for myself than her, as I carried her back to the car. “Let’s have a fun girls day.”

  When I asked Emma what she wanted to do, she wouldn’t talk to me. She sat in the back seat looking sad, until I told her that I would go and buy her some ice cream. The GPS in my phone couldn’t find any ice cream places that were open early, so I took her to the nearest grocery store that I could find so we could make our own sundaes at home.

  After putting her in the cart, I drove her around the store and let her have a free cookie from the bakery, which seemed to put her in a better mood. Clearly, sweets were the way to her heart, although I would probably need to start watching her sugar or she would end up an addict like me.

  The store was a labyrinth, and I literally had to stop and check the directory to find the frozen foods aisle.

  “What kind of ice cream do you think you want, Emma?”

  Before she answered, the shrill sound of a southerner shouting my name cut her off.

  “Oh my god, I’ll be, Lauren Lindsay back here in the Springs,” The familiar voice caught me off guard. I whirled around to see my best friend standing behind me.

  “Kenzie!” I nearly jumped on her in excitement while Emma sat in the cart with her hands over her ears, still pouting.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, looking sideways at Emma.

  I shrugged and took a deep breath.

  “Long story,” I told her. “How’s school here?”

  “It’s so awesome! I’m so glad I decided to transfer.”

  She moved to Colorado when we were little, but that accent still came out every once and a while when she was excited or angry. She had gone to school with me in Boulder up until last year when she decided to transfer to the Colorado Springs campus to be closer to her family. Life hadn’t been the same since, even with her only two hours away. I opened my mouth to explain why I had a child in my cart when I was interrupted by goose bumps breaking out on my skin.

  “Emma girl!” I heard a low voice say behind me, and Emma started giggling.

  I turned around only to see Dean Powell standing with Emma in his arms, who was now sporting a megawatt smile. I hadn’t been able to make her smile all morning, and then the second he showed up, she was a different little girl all together. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him.