IGNITE

by Paradis, Lily

  “Umm…” I thought about the potential awkwardness, but curiosity got the best of me. Plus, I was going to be pretty bored alone if the kids were already asleep. “Only if I get to pick.”

  He nodded. “Anything you want, as long as its not anything with aliens.”

  I smiled back.

  “Aren’t guys supposed to love alien movies?”

  “Not this guy. It’s the stuff of nightmares.”

  I walked over to the TV and knelt beside of the pile of movies that Emma had left out. There wasn’t a single choice that held a rating over PG, which was kind of perfect.

  I held up one and put it in the machine as he plopped down on the couch.

  “What, you’re not going to tell me what it is?”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I think it’s extra appropriate right now.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  I walked around the room, searching for the light switch, but ended up turning on the ceiling fan instead.

  “It’s that one,” he pointed to a different set of switches around the corner. It was still weird that he knew this house so well.

  I turned off the lights and sat down on the couch, leaving an entire cushion between us.

  The music began and he stared at the screen, as if he was trying to decide what it was.

  He laughed when he figured it out, and I couldn’t help but smile at his reaction.

  “Sleeping Beauty? Seriously?”

  I threw a pillow at him.

  “Yes, it happens to be my favorite movie of all time, actually.”

  “No, I just mean it’s ironically fitting.”

  “I thought so too,” I said, snuggling into the cushions. I wish I had brought a blanket and I shivered. I didn’t want to get up and go find one though.

  As if on cue, Dean flipped a blanket I hadn’t noticed before down off the top of the couch. He spread it out and handed it to me.

  “What about you?” I asked, feeling bad that he was always taking care of me.

  He shook his head.

  “I’m good.”

  I pulled the throw to my side, but I couldn’t concentrate on the movie any longer because I realized how stupid I felt. Here I was, with the guy who had just saved my life, watching Sleeping Beauty. This wasn’t real life. Dean Powell would not be sitting here watching a movie with me when he could be out doing whatever Dean Powell likes to do.

  I’m not sure whether the medicine kicked back in, or if my brain just decided it needed more time out. Halfway through the movie, I found myself fidgeting around with the blanket. I knew he was watching me, but I stretched out so I could lie down.

  “Come here,” he said softly, holding out his arm.

  “What?” I whispered, knowing there was no way I’d heard that right.

  He grabbed my hand and gave it a light tug.

  Whatever possessed me to do it, I don’t know. I felt like I was still under the anesthesia. Somehow I ended up lying across the couch with my head leaning against him, and his arm was around me. I felt so much warmer.

  I was going to soak up every second of it, because there was no way this was real life.

  I woke up to a loud crash.

  Dean was on his feet in an instant, and I was left tangled in the blanket.

  “Sorry guys, I dropped a glass.”

  “No worries, Callie,” Dean said, rubbing his face sleepily.

  Coming from her, she probably did it on purpose.

  Dean glanced at his watch.

  “I should probably get going.”

  I nodded and shucked the blanket.

  “I’ll lock the door,” he said softly. The shadows playing across his face and those blue eyes in the dark exacerbated my speechlessness. I wasn’t used to boys leaving my house in the middle of the night, or being there at all.

  “Okay,” was all I could manage as we walked down the hallway. I stopped at the guest room door and turned on the light. It was if he wasn’t sure what to do either, but it was clear we should do something.

  After a moment of consideration, he finally pulled me in for a short hug.

  Friends hug, right?

  “Night Lauren,” he whispered into my hair.

  “Night Dean,” I replied, not wanting him to leave.

  But he did. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me, and then left without another word. It was my phone. I heard the lock turn, and then the door shut.

  I was about to shut my own door when Callie walked by and glared at me.

  Yep, she had definitely done it on purpose.

  I put my phone on the dresser and got in bed.

  Just as I was falling asleep, it buzzed and teetered on the edge of falling off. I grabbed it and looked at the screen, squinting in the dark. There was a text from Dean. When had we even exchanged phone numbers? There wasn’t a last name, but I didn’t know anyone else named Dean.

  A KNOCK AT my door woke me.

  “Rise and shine,” Dean said as he came in. The light from outside came with him, and I held up my hand as if it would block it all off. Why was he back to wake me up? I wasn’t going to complain, though. Going to sleep and waking up to Dean Powell was something I could get used to.

  Even if he left in the middle.

  He set a coffee mug on the dresser next to me and sat on the end of the bed.

  “So, I forgot to tell you last night,” he said simply.

  I turned over to look at him as I ran my fingers through my hair. He was dressed to the nines in a black suit.

  Holy shit.

  I sat up and looked at him, trying to make sense of the situation. My hair was everywhere.

  “Why are you all dressed up?”

  He gave me a look.

  Somehow, I knew exactly what was going on through that alone. I pulled the blankets back down over me and shoved them over my head.

  “No,” I groaned, drawing out the word.

  “Yes,” he said, lightly tugging the sheets down. “I’ll go wake the kids up. Kenzie said she left a dress for you in the hallway closet.”

  Did they always think of everything?

  “Thanks,” I muttered, and threw myself out of bed as soon as he left the room. Why did none of that feel strange? It was like we’d been arguing about waking up to go to things for years.

  Weird.

  I chugged my expertly made coffee and hurried to get ready.

  Apparently, they’d postponed Linda’s memorial service so I could participate. For some unknown reason they were calling it a memorial service instead of a funeral, as if that made the subject matter any lighter. Someone was still dead, why not call it what it was? Jed and Mary said it was so family could come from out of town, but as far as I could tell, no one had come from too far away. All of Linda’s friends and family were from neighboring towns.

  So really, I felt like they’d done it so I would have to be there.

  I knew that sounded awful, but I didn’t even know her! She was like the Camilla to my dad’s Prince Charles. Yes, they had gone to elementary school together. Yes, apparently they had been involved before my mom was in the picture, but my dad never talked about her. Not once until he told me they were getting married. Which was kind of a shock, considering my mom had just decided to run off and become a flight attendant, leaving us high and dry. I was sixteen-going-on-seventeen, had a boyfriend, and opted to live at my mom’s mostly empty house rather than live with Linda and the “new” family. New being Callie, Chase, and Emma.

  I guess it all caught up with me in the long run.

  The service was, for the most part, painfully awkward. Someone had put together a slide show of Linda’s life. I couldn’t help but cry when pictures of my dad came on the screen, so I stopped watching halfway through. I twisted a brochure that someone had handed me into absolute shreds to keep myself occupied, and I didn’t notice the pathetic pile in my lap until Dean reached over and grabbed my hands, urging me to stop.

  To make things worse, Callie had
completely lost control of Emma. She dashed across the aisle and threw herself onto my lap.

  Callie glared at me and started crying herself. Chase just looked lost.

  Mary did what she could with the older kids, but Emma twisted her hands so far into my hair that it hurt any time I moved, and she wouldn’t let go. I even tried to give her to Dean once and she wailed, adding a new soundtrack to the slideshow, so I just hugged her even more tightly.

  Poor, sweet Emma. She was too young to have lost so many people.

  She clung to me throughout the entire reception. People kept coming up to me and expressing their sorrows, but I just felt uncomfortable. I didn’t even know what had happened to Linda. For the most part, she had seemed like a healthy individual.

  Callie didn’t come anywhere near me, and Chase followed Jed around. Thank goodness that kid was independent, because his sisters were a lot to handle.

  Finally, Emma fell asleep. Her little hands were still woven tightly into my hair.

  “Here, give her to me,” Dean offered, and it wasn’t without effort. We literally had to disentangle her fingers.

  He traded me Emma, and handed me a white calla lily.

  “Thanks,” I said, not sure what to make of it.

  He smiled.

  “Here, I’ll drive you and Emma home. Mary said she’ll take Chase and Callie.”

  I nodded and smelled my flower. I couldn’t wait to leave.

  “Lead the way.”

  I sort of felt as though my life was a dream. It wasn’t anything like what I was used to. In fact, I should probably call my roommate, Olivia, and let her know why I hadn’t been back to Boulder in so long. As far as she knew, I was only going to get my new I.D. since I had turned twenty-one. It was winter break, though, so it wasn’t like I was missing any classes.

  Dean and I didn’t say anything after we strapped a still-sleeping Emma into the back seat. For some reason I didn’t feel as if I had to say anything around him, so we just sat in comfortable silence. Whatever was playing on the radio was fine, because it was only background noise anyway. We both had a lot on our minds.

  I realized I didn’t know anything about Dean Powell. What kind of music did he like? What did he do when he wasn’t helping me figure my life out? Where did he even live? It had to be somewhere close if he and Jenny were over all the time. Plus, he’d walked home last night.

  I looked down at the flower he’d given me and felt a strange sense of déjà vu hit me.

  Oh my god. My breath caught in my throat.

  He’d given me one like this before. It had to have been him.

  I was at my dad’s funeral, but I was a complete mess. I hadn’t opted to live with my mom because I wanted to, but because I felt like he’d replaced me with his new family. I knew I wouldn’t fit in. So I didn’t try to.

  I didn’t remember much about that day except for Jed having to carry me to the car to go home, but I did remember that flower. A boy came up to me, handed me a flower, and then he was gone. I was in such a daze that day I wondered if I had just picked it up somewhere and imagined the boy. I could have sworn he had bandages on his face and hands, so over the years I’d decided I had just made it all up in my head.

  “Dean?” I asked quietly.

  He turned down the radio and looked at me expectantly.

  “This is a really weird question, but have we ever met before?”

  His jaw twitched and he inhaled sharply, like he was trying to decide what to say.

  After a while, he replied so softly I almost didn’t hear him.

  “Yes.”

  “Did you give me a flower?”

  “Yes.”

  I smiled weakly, feeling a strange twinge in my stomach as he admitted it.

  “Thanks.”

  He reached over and I thought he was going to grab my hand, but instead reached for the glove box. He pulled out a garage door opener and handed it to me.

  “This goes to the house,” he said, pulling into the driveway. I pushed the button and sure enough, the garage opened.

  Why would Dean have a garage door opener to Linda’s house? Also, why did Dean drive a Range Rover?

  He helped me pull Emma out of the car and we walked inside.

  He was certainly a man full of mysteries. Except somehow, I felt more at ease with him than I had with anyone in my life. But it was clear that I didn’t know him.

  For the first time, I realized I hoped he would give me a chance to find out.

  EVERYTHING HIT THE fan when we all got home. Mary and Jed walked in the front door, followed by a somber Callie and Chase.

  I had just brought Emma upstairs to her room to rest and was coming down the stairway when I saw Jed pulling Dean back out the door. I started to protest, but Mary shook her head.

  “Just let them talk, dear,” she assured me.

  I was confused as to why a talk was even necessary. It wasn’t like I was dating Dean.

  Then it seemed that Callie chose this moment to make me the subject of her rage.

  “Why are you still here?” she all but screamed at me, crossing her arms. Chase and Mary looked at each other, and Mary suggested she and Chase go find a game upstairs. He agreed quickly and took the stairs two at a time to avoid the confrontation between his sister and me.

  Smart kid.

  “So?” she didn’t relent. “Why are you here? I know you hate us all anyway.”

  I was speechless.

  “Callie, please calm down.” I knew that wasn’t what I should have said, but I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to do in this situation.

  She scoffed and smiled wickedly.

  “Calm down? You want me to calm down. Let me just think about that for a second. Today I had to deal with my mom’s funeral. I don’t even get why you were there. You didn’t even look sad.”

  “Callie,” I protested, trying to make the best of the situation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really know your mom, I feel sad because I feel bad for you and Chase and Emma. But I’m not going to cry and fake it because I literally met her twice. My dad loved your mom, so she must have been amazing, but I. Didn’t. Know. Her.” I was even getting slightly worked up, as if her anger was rubbing off on me.

  She looked livid.

  “Oh there you go, bringing your dad into the situation. Because he was the saint who saved us all. So if my mom married him, she must have been worthy enough, am I right?”

  I sighed.

  “Callie, stop it. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I’m pretty sure you did. Now why don’t you just leave? It’s clear you’ve wanted to from day one. It’s just your stupid little infatuation with Dean Powell that’s keeping you here. Well, newsflash, Lauren. He’s not going to magically fall in love with you. He’s not going to fall in love with anyone, because he’s too much of a player for that. I get it, he’s pretty, but it’s not going to happen. So take your sick little sad puppy dog eyes and get out. We don’t need you here. We can take care of ourselves, and I don’t need my little sister crying all over you and Dean when I’m right here. You’re not her sister. I am. I can take care of my family.”

  I was appalled. I didn’t remember the last time anyone had spoken to me like that. She’d crossed a line. She could insult me to my face, but she shouldn’t insult him, no matter how valid her statements were. I thought about my next words carefully, trying to be the adult in the situation even though I didn’t feel like one.

  “Callie, I’m sorry about your mom. I really am. You’re too young for this to have happened to you, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m making it worse. I fully believe that you’re capable of taking care of your family. However, the problem is that you are not eighteen yet, and there are some legal matters to attend to. Namely the fact that in your mother’s will, it was explicit that I would become your guardian. Not just yours, but Chase’s and Emma’s too.”

  She looked like I had just hit her in the face with a burning frying pan.

  �
��You?” she hissed. “My mom wanted you to be here with us?”

  I wanted to laugh. I had no idea where she’d gotten her hatred. What had I ever done to her?

  “Shocking, really.” I didn’t mean to be sarcastic because it actually was shocking, but it came out that way.

  “What if I don’t want you to be my guardian?” Callie spat back at me. “Like I said, I can take care of myself.”

  “Well, if that’s the case,” I said softly, not wanting to be the person to break this to her. “Then you’re going to have to go into the foster system, because there’s no one else.”

  She gasped. “What about Emma and Chase?”

  I looked at the floor.

  “Them too.”

  Her lip wobbled and tears started flowing freely from her eyes as she tore past me and up the stairway to her room.

  Now I could definitely be in the running for the award for worst person of the day.

  I let out a huge breath and stepped out of my heels. I wanted to cry too, and looked up in an effort to keep them in my eyes. I was fanning my face when Dean and Jed came back in, but it was clear that I was t-minus two minutes from turning into a blubbery mess.

  They had both heard the whole thing; it was written on their faces.

  Dean looked strained, like he wanted to say something, but I had a feeling that Jed had just instilled the fear of God in him about something. Jed had that effect on people.

  I sniffled.

  “I’m going to go change,” I told them, my lip now quivering.

  They both nodded in that way that men do when they’re speechless and have no idea what to say to rectify the situation. I had just reached my door when I realized I needed someone to unbutton my dress. There was a button just out of reach on my back, and there was no hope of getting out of it without tearing the dress without help.

  I sucked it up as best I could and walked out into the hall. Dean had buttoned it this morning and it wasn’t a big deal, but with Jed standing right there, I wasn’t about to ask him to unbutton it. I passed them both without a word and went up the stairway to Chase’s room.

  When I knocked on the door, Mary and Chase were sitting on the floor with a stack of cards in front of them.

  “Hey,” I said softly. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure dear,” Mary said kindly, giving me a sad smile.