IGNITE

by Paradis, Lily

  I swallowed.

  “Is Dean Powell up here?”

  He nodded.

  “I have something for him, do you know where he is?”

  “Well sure, sweetheart. He’s inside. Give me a sec.”

  He reached down onto his belt and pressed a button on the radio that hung there.

  “Get Canary out here,” he said. “Red’s here to see him.”

  Canary? Red?

  I rolled my eyes at the mention of the color of my hair. Of course I would make them uneasy. Women were bad omens around mines because they only came to collect their dead, and women with red hair were especially terrifying to miners because of old superstitions.

  “I’ll be right there,” I heard Dean’s muffled voice over the radio.

  I nodded to them in thanks and walked a few feet closer to the entrance, but not too close. I didn’t want to be here. I remembered the sirens and the dirt, and people crying and telling me how sorry they were. I remember the bulldozers taking all of the rock away as they dug out the cave to find my dad in whatever state they could.

  The ghosts of the past disappeared as I saw a figure striding out of the mine. I knew it was Dean even though he was wearing coveralls, a helmet, boots, and gloves. This was ridiculous; he still looked good even with every inch of his exposed skin covered in mud.

  “Hey,” he said as he came to stand in front of me.

  “Hey yourself,” I repeated our earlier exchange from this morning in a much different context.

  I handed him his phone and the paper bag that his sister had prepared.

  “Jenny?” he asked, his eyes widening as he looked inside.

  I nodded curtly.

  His eyes met mine and I knew he understood what I was feeling. I shifted my feet uneasily and looked around at the ten or so men watching us out of the corners of their eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “You shouldn’t have had to come up here.”

  I wanted him to pull me closer, but I knew he wouldn’t want to get dirt all over me.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “It’s better than I thought it would be.”

  His brow furrowed.

  “Can we talk later?” he asked, looking around as if he were agitated at the peanut gallery.

  I nodded and held up the keys.

  “I hope you don’t mind that I drove your car,” I told him as he glanced over at the black Range Rover sitting next to all of the work trucks.

  He shook his head.

  “It’s yours any time you need it.”

  He seemed like he couldn’t say any more in front of the other men, so I took it as my cue to leave.

  “I’ll see you later,” I told him, turning to go.

  I expected him to reach out, but he didn’t. It’s the dirt, I told myself even though I wasn’t sure. That’s why.

  “Thank you,” he said genuinely, gesturing toward the bag as he turned to watch me leave.

  I drove away with him still standing where I left him. He looked upset, which confused me even more. He had some serious explaining to do next time I saw him.

  I MULLED AROUND the house cleaning for the rest of the day, anxious to talk to Dean about last night and earlier today. Well, both times earlier today. Waking up next to him wasn’t terrible by any stretch of the imagination, but the way he acted when it was time for me to take the kids to school was something I felt like we should talk about. I thought we’d crossed a few lines, and in my mind that warranted discussion.

  Callie helped me make a salad and a homemade pizza for dinner. Dean wasn’t home yet, so Jenny came over.

  “Jenny,” I asked her in between bites, “How long has Dean worked at the mine?”

  She shrugged.

  “As long as I can remember,” she said. “At least since he turned himself around and I came back into the picture. I don’t know about before that. I think he likes it though, despite what happened.”

  “It’s pretty hot,” Callie mused casually.

  I grimaced and Jenny choked on her water.

  “That’s gross,” Chase added, and Emma just looked around.

  “What’s hot?” She said. “The pizza isn’t hot anymore.”

  “That’s good,” I told her. “It might burn you otherwise.”

  “Yeah, we should all be careful about not getting burned, though,” Callie said.

  She wasn’t looking at me, but I knew she wasn’t talking about pizza. She had been privy to that all-too-private moment between Dean and me when he came over last night to comfort me when I thought I saw the ghost of my dead father.

  We cleared the table and the four kids decided to have a movie night. I popped some popcorn for them and told Jenny and Callie I was taking a walk down the street. Neither of them batted an eyelash; they would be grateful for the extra babysitting money on top of what Dean offered Callie this morning.

  I hugged my coat to me as I walked down the street. The Range Rover and a big black truck were outside. As I passed it, I wondered how I had missed the truck before.

  As I raised my hand to knock, the door opened, almost like he was waiting for me to come even though I hadn’t called or texted ahead of time. His hair looked like it was still damp from a shower, and all of the dirt from earlier was gone.

  “Hey,” he said softly as he held the door open.

  “Hey,” I echoed, and walked through the hallway to the living room.

  We really needed to figure out a more complex greeting than that.

  He reached for my hand and pulled me in for a hug, which surprised me given how he acted at the mine.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his chin resting on the top of my head.

  “For what?” I asked, trying to discern what exactly he was apologizing for.

  He pulled back and looked at me.

  “For earlier. You shouldn’t have gone up there.”

  “To the mine?”

  He nodded, his sympathetic eyes searching mine.

  “I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

  I sighed.

  “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be either. It’s been years. I’m not that little girl anymore.”

  “Clearly,” he said under his breath, and I wondered exactly what he meant.

  “Can I get you anything?” he asked, moving to the kitchen. “A drink, maybe?”

  “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” I told him as I slid my jacket off and hung it over one of the bar stools. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything,” he said, popping the lids off of two root beer bottles. I smiled a little at the fact that the root beer kind of symbolized that we were adults, but still not exactly grown up.

  “Why did they call you Canary?” He gave me a look, so I felt the need to specify. “Up at the mine. I know why they called me Red,” I gestured toward my hair. “But why did they call you Canary? It seems like a strange nickname for you.”

  “What?” He smiled as he handed me a bottle and sat down on the stool next to me. “I don’t look like a little yellow bird to you?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. That definitely wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

  “No,” he said more seriously. “On more than one occasion, I’ve just had strange feelings when I’m in there. Feelings that I can’t quite explain, but I know it’s time to get out. The first time, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to look like a nervous kid, and things didn’t go well.” He looked down for a moment. “After that, I told people when my intuition kicked in and everyone got out in time.”

  I swallowed. In time. I knew why he didn’t elaborate on that. Unfortunately, my dad didn’t.

  “That’s cute,” I said softly. “Canaries tell people when they should get out.”

  He laughed. “I don’t think cute is really how I want you to think of me.”

  I narrowed my eyes and gave him a look.

  “About that,” I said, playing with the frost on my bottle. “Thanks for last
night.” That seemed to sum everything up without going into the embarrassing details of how needy I was.

  He studied my face for an excruciatingly long time.

  “I don’t know how to act around you,” he said softly. “It’s like every time we make progress there’s a pause button the next time I see you.”

  “I don’t want there to be a pause button,” I said.

  “Me neither.”

  He leaned towards me and I thought it was going to happen. I thought he was going to finally kiss me for real, instead of what I think happened last night but was possibly imagined in my delirious, scared brain.

  I even shut my eyes in anticipation, but it never happened. I opened them to find him staring out the window behind me.

  Seriously?

  This was not how I pictured this moment in my head.

  I pulled back.

  “Earth to Dean,” I said, slightly annoyed as I waved my hand.

  He snapped out of his reverie and smiled bigger than I’d ever seen him smile.

  “What’s going on?” I asked warily. He looked like a kid in a candy shop. He stood and pulled me to my feet, and then knelt down before me all in one fluid motion. Whenever this guy proposed to someone, it was going to be smooth as Hell.

  I knew he wasn’t proposing, but I was curious about what he was doing beaming at me from the floor as he clutched my hands dramatically.

  “Lauren Annabelle Lindsay.” He paused for effect. “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Snow Ball?”

  I bit my lip.

  “The Snow Ball?”

  “Lauren,” he said flatly, “You’re ruining the moment. Can you just say yes so I can explain it to you?”

  I sighed and nodded.

  He stood up and kissed me on the forehead.

  “Great!”

  “What did I just agree to?” I asked warily. I knew it wasn’t bad if he was so excited, but I’d never heard of a Snow Ball before.

  “Every year when the first snow falls after New Year’s, the Hamilton’s hold a Snow Ball at the Broadmoor.”

  “As in Alex and John Hamilton who were there for the avalanche excursion.”

  He nodded.

  “I’m going to call Jenny and ask if she and Callie can babysit tonight. You should call Kenzie.”

  “We’ve been forcing a lot on them lately,” I said, feeling guilty.

  He shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

  “Jenny’s used to being on her own, and they won’t mind. It’s Friday night and they’re already watching movies with Chase and Emma. We aren’t ruining anything.”

  “I guess you’re right,” I conceded. “Why am I calling Kenzie?”

  “Because,” he said. “She already said she wants to help you get ready and I’m not going to deny her that privilege if she’s already asked for it.”

  “Wait,” I asked, confused. “You guys have already talked about this?”

  “She knew it was coming,” he explained. “We both wanted it to be a surprise for you.”

  I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

  “How formal is it?”

  “Pretty formal,” he said, putting our drinks in the refrigerator.

  “Then we have a problem,” I told him. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

  “That,” he said, “Is the reason you need to call Kenzie.”

  He winked and ran upstairs, leaving me confused.

  “You can both use the guest room or Jenny’s room to get ready,” he called. “It’s bad luck to see you before we leave.”

  “Isn’t that just for weddings?”

  “Nope,” he called down over the landing. “It applies to the Snow Ball too.”

  I took a deep breath and dialed Kenzie’s number, unsure of what they had gotten me into.

  AN HOUR LATER, both Kenzie and I were dressed to the nines. Luke and Dean were waiting downstairs while Kenzie put the finishing touches on my hair and makeup.

  “Stop,” Kenzie said, batting my hand away as I tried to adjust my curls. “You look amazing, I wish my hair was this color.”

  She had outdone herself. Clearly she had been waiting for this for a long time, because she even had a dress in my size. It was long and white, and had the perfect amount of embellishments. It was definitely more evening than wedding, but I still felt like it had a bridal edge. My long hair was falling in perfect waves that I would never be able to recreate, and I had to admit it looked stunning with my dress.

  Kenzie had her hair pulled up to show off the neckline of her royal blue dress. There was a slit up the side that revealed her mid-thigh when she walked, and she looked like a blonde Angelina Jolie.

  Dean was right when he said this was extremely formal, because we were both wearing long white gloves. Mine were even lace and matched my dress; Kenzie truly had thought of absolutely everything.

  My eyes were rimmed with black and dark brown so perfectly that I wished I would never have to take it off. Even I had to admit that I looked like a movie star, or maybe a Victoria’s Secret model but with more clothes.

  Kenzie could tell that I was nervous and pulled me to a standing position in front of her as she held both of my hands.

  “You’re beautiful, Lauren Lindsay. And that man downstairs would love you even if you didn’t shower for a year and acted like a caveman.”

  “I’m not sure love is the right word, Kenz,” I told her nervously. “But thank you. You’ve outdone yourself.”

  She pulled me in for a hug and I was engulfed by the sweet smell of the perfume she’d sprayed on her hair.

  “I didn’t add anything, I merely accentuated what you already have,” she told me. When she pulled away, she whispered, “And I’m sure it is the right word.”

  I couldn’t do anything but smile at her. She was so incredibly beautiful, inside and out.

  “Ready?” she asked, squeezing my hand.

  “As I’ll ever be,” I told her, and took a deep breath.

  Kenzie insisted on making a big deal out of it. She had us present ourselves like debutantes walking down Dean’s stairway. She went first, sashaying down the stairs while holding the bannister and loving every second of it. I peeked around the corner to see Luke smiling like he was the luckiest man in the universe.

  “Okay Lauren, your turn!” Kenzie called up.

  I felt a little ridiculous. After Daniel, I’d gone to dances with just Kenzie and a group of girlfriends. I wasn’t used to having expectations or the fact that my heart as I wondered what Dean would think.

  I lifted the bottom of my dress so I could walk and came around the corner.

  As soon as I looked up, it was like everything else had disappeared except for Dean Powell staring at me.

  Every single step down those stairs was a small eternity. Like a real-life Rhett Butler, he held out his hand for me when I reached the bottom of the stairway.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said, plainly giving my dress the once over.

  I felt myself blushing.

  “Thanks,” I told him. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

  Dean Powell in a full on tuxedo was a sight to behold. Whoever married him would have a great view walking down the aisle. I couldn’t help but admire the fact that it was tailored, unlike so many guys I’d seen in suits before. Our age bracket was keen on the clearly-wearing-your-dad’s-tux-and-it-doesn’t-fit-at-all trend.

  He held out his arm and I took it.

  “Ready to go?” he grinned at me like he had no intentions of stopping.

  I nodded and fidgeted with one of my earrings.

  Kenzie and Luke drove there in his car since the hotel was half an hour away, and this was apparently an overnight party. I wasn’t sure how it all worked yet.

  Dean opened the door to the Range Rover and helped me climb in before getting into the driver’s side. I felt like we were in a James Bond movie minus the Aston Martin.

  We both sat in comfortable silence for most of the drive,
but I picked at my gloves as we got closer to the hotel.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked, obviously concerned that I would shred my gloves like I shredded the program at Linda’s memorial.

  I nodded.

  “It’s not every day that I go to a ball, you know.”

  He grinned and his gaze returned to the road.

  “Well, I can honestly say this is the first time I’m going to be able to enjoy it.”

  That thought bothered me more than it should. Of course he’d been before, that’s how he knew what to expect.

  “What has it been like in previous years?” I asked softly. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.

  “You mean, who have I gone with in previous years?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He kept his eyes on the road but reached over to take one of my hands in his. It felt strange to have his fingers entwined with mine through the gloves.

  “It’s really not important,” he said, looking over at me seriously. “I mean it.”

  I let it go because we pulled into a huge circular entrance. Dean got out and handed the keys to one of the valets while another helped me out of the car. Dean walked around the back and held out his arm.

  I had no idea what to expect. This seemed like something out of a movie and I wasn’t at all prepared. It was like Prince William decided to take Kate to a royal dinner on their first date.

  There were lights everywhere, and everyone was impeccably dressed. I had never seen anything like it. After we walked through the door, Dean had to give someone our names, which had to be cross checked off of the Hamilton’s private list before we could enter. Kenzie and Luke were already waiting inside, standing with all of the girls that I recognized from the ski trip and a few others I hadn’t met before.

  “Oh my god,” I heard a girl in the corner whisper as she pointed at us. “He actually decided to show his face here again.”

  She was clearly looking at Dean, and other people were starting to take notice as well.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, nudging him with my elbow.

  “Don’t listen to them,” he said, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

  I bit my lip.

  “But what did she mean?”

  He looked like he didn’t want to tell me, but luckily Kenzie interrupted.