Cole walked up to her, his eyes melting at the sight of her. "Izzy-baby." Using her childhood nickname. "You look so beautiful. You will make Jesse a beautiful, priceless, elegant, fun, wild bride." He stepped closer and placed a gentle hand to her stomach. "You are a wonderful, fun-loving, carin’, mama bear, and wild mama. I can't wait to meet this little one."
Izzy put her hand over his, feeling his love, his protection. "You have been like a father I never had. You have been my support, my strength when I was weak."
Cole kissed her head like a child. "I will think of you near Christmas. I will pray for you every day."
"I will do the same for you all here," Izzy whispered.
Cole held out his arm. "Ready to become Isabella Donovan?"
Izzy smiled. "More than ready."
Cole led her towards the chapel. Buggies, wagons, carriages, and horses lined the whole yard. It must be a packed chapel. This is where they wanted to get married. They first felt loved here. Cole whispered, “I wanted to visit your place on the mountain before winter, but it doesn't look like I can get away.”
"Don't worry. Andrew and the others have been up there. It is a fine cabin." Izzy knew he was worried about her living in a place like their first cabin.
"I know you can handle pretty much everythin’. I appreciate what you have done with Liberty Ranch. It is running much better because of you. You showed the Starrys the ropes out here."
Izzy smiled softly. "It was nothin'. You know how much I love it here."
They came to the steps of the chapel. Izzy beamed, the music beginning when they entered the chapel. Izzy almost gasped. The girls had done a wonderful job at making the chapel look so elegant. Satin bows and flowers were everywhere, and wildflowers all over the building.
As they came to the back of the benches, Juan Jose came to her side. She took his arm. "Thank you, Juan Jose."
Juan Jose looked at her in that way that made her feel priceless. "No, it is an honor to give you to Jesse."
Everyone rose as Izzy walked down the aisle. The room was decked out in flowers Sara and Alice had picked. The front of the church was covered in a white canopy. Everything was bright and cheery. Perfect for a wedding. She was nervous, but then she spotted Jesse. When their eyes met, her nerves went away. The love she saw in those eyes was unforgettable. After taking Jesse's hand, she kissed both Cole and Juan Jose's cheeks.
Juan Jose stood as their pastor, marrying them. Matt stood by Jesse's side, and Francesca stood by Izzy.
Izzy said softly, “I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I have come to trust you in ways I have never trusted anyone. I promise to honor and love you for the rest of our life. I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
As Jesse took the necklace off of her, his hands shook. She winked at him. He almost laughed out loud. His eyes danced with her.
He took her hand and placed the ring on her finger. "I have come to love you as a friend and then I loved you as a woman. I love you as my soulmate. I give you my heart today as I care for yours." He whispered for her ears only, "If God did nothing but give me you, I will live a content life."
When Juan Jose told him to kiss her, she got nervous like a schoolgirl getting her first kiss. One hand came around her waist, his other hand touched her cheek as he drew her in. His lips were soft and hungry at the same time. She felt like a treasure in his arms. His lips firm, achingly soft, as if showing her he would always desire her. This kiss was a promise of what was to come, their second chance at love. God's way of love. She touched his cheek, deepening it. She felt like a priceless pure bride for the first time, like he was giving her so much more.
THEIR BEDROOM HAD A light glow to it. There were wildflowers all around that made it smell heavenly. All this added to the room was bliss to Izzy as she looked into Jesse's eyes. Oh, how she loved him. Willingly, she went into his arms. Sitting on the bed, Jesse leaned against the back of it and held her. She laid her head against his chest, loving to hear his heartbeat. She was content, at peace. She spoke softly, "The wedding was wonderful. I never thought I could be so happy."
"It was," Jesse murmured, just as relaxed. "You know I promised Ma I would give you the wedding you wanted?"
She sat up, looking at him. "No, I didn't."
His eyes misted. "I think she knew I would probably elope like Sawyer and Annie. She knew you wouldn't want that. And I see it too, now. So I promised to do what you want."
She touched his cheek. "Thank you, Jess. For doing this for me. I know today was hard. I thought of her often."
He nodded, his face crumbling. "This is the first wedding without her... and seein’ the children after months. It was just all so much harder than I thought it would be."
She wiped his tears like he had done for her so often. "I know it was." She snuggled back with him.
"I hear your mama might stay here longer?" he asked, knowing while he had a strong God-fearing loving mother, she had a mother who wasn't any of those things.
"Yeah, I think it might be the baby."
"I think it is because she wants a second chance with all her children."
"You know, I never thought I would have so much in common with my ma. It makes sense why she married such a horrible, Godless man. I wish she would have told me she was pregnant before marriage."
He flinched. "Would you have done our courtship differently?" He couldn't help but put his hand over her stomach that had a little bump, though no one could tell by the clothes she wore. This was the first time they had gotten to talk alone since they found out all the family secrets hidden by one mother.
"I am not sure, but I would have liked to understand why my pa hated Cole and me so much. It was like he blamed us, especially Cole, for marrying his wife."
"If they hadn't married, you wouldn't be here or your sisters," he stated. "And I wouldn't trade a day without you. I know your life was hard growing up with him, but your pa gave you life and our life had crossed because of our families. It was meant to be, though it was hard."
She sighed. "I can't say I wouldn't trade my life, but I can learn from it. To teach our child somethin’ better than the choices we made. We won't hide what we did from him."
"But our child will also know that she is loved and wanted, though her parents didn't plan and weren't obeying God's way. We want this child. She will never doubt that. She is a gift from God, no matter if we didn't plan to be parents this early. We will be wonderful parents to our girl."
She shook her head, chuckling. "Or our son."
He kissed her head and whispered, "Or both."
She tried to sit up, but he just laughed and took the clips out of her hair. She giggled. "One child this time, I am sure." Though twins would be twice the work and joy.
She growled, "So we will plan on two next time."
He got her hair undone and ran his fingers through it. She must have liked it, for she made a purring sound. He kept at it, and then placed a few kisses on her neck, sending chills through her. She turned and kissed him. Deepening the kiss, she dug her fingers through his curly hair.
He broke the kiss, laid on the bed and gazed at her, not touching. "Izzy, I have grown to love you in ways that I never dreamed possible. I have learned to trust you and put my heart safely in your hands, knowin’ you will care for it. Like the Godly, loving woman I know you are." He placed his callused hand on her cheek, being so gentle. "I love you to more than words can say. I hope I can be the man you can trust and depend on when things get hard. I pray with God's help he will keep showing me how to love you. He sent you to me. You are my Angel. My gift. My treasure."
She let tears fall, happy tears. His words were so reassuring, so comforting, with all they had been through the last couple weeks. "I never thought I would love someone like I love you. For me, love was always hard. I kept my heart from it for so long. I never thought I would feel again. When I came into your life, I learned to love in new ways I never thought possible. I have learned..." Sh
e reached out and touched his jaw. "You have taught love can be fun, be trusting, and can be treated like a genuine treasure, and you have taught me that it's all right to touch. To open your heart is nothing to fear. I pray with God's help I will be the wife you need me to be, a caring, loving, and trusting helpmeet. I love you more than I thought possible."
She kissed him, feeling his passion but also his care, his tenderness. She never thought she could enjoy the feeling of being truly loved by her man. A man God sent to her. When his hands dug into her hair deepening the kiss, she felt the passion, the love from her heart. Then he pulled away and gazed at her lovingly.
She sat up and felt a bout of nausea. She held her stomach.
He was at her side in a minute. "Is it the baby?" he asked.
She shrugged and took a deep breath.
He poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.
She drank, then handed it back, feeling better. But she had to tell him she wasn't ready. She turned away, whispering, "You saw with the trial I stopped feelin’. I went through the motions and just didn't feel. I knew if I had walked in that courtroom the last day they sentenced the girls, I knew I would stop feeling ever again. But you stopped me. You kept me feeling." Jesse took her hand. "When we fell that night I didn't feel, it was like my body was there, but I was not."
He gasped. "I am so sorry, Iz. I didn't know... I..."
She touched his lips with her hand. "Don't. God forgave us, and our family did. We are getting a second chance at true love." Her shoulders sagged. Not feeling shame or guilt. Feeling vulnerable, so open, so raw and exposed. "When the men would hurt me, I would try to stop feeling." She had to stop. She had never told anyone this personally before. He took her in his arms and held her so tight. It made her feel safe. "It was a way to survive. When they got near me, I would leave my body or pass out. I don't want to do that when we touch."
He was shaking a little. He kept his eyes gentle, kind. "Oh, my brave, brave girl. I love you."
She looked up at him. "I am ready to touch and not leave like before. I am ready to trust you. To love you."
He sighed like he didn't know how to handle all this. He wanted to be strong for her. He wanted to do right by her. "Are you sure, Angel? I can wait."
She nodded, moving his hair back from his forehead. "I love you, Jesse."
“Oh, I love you, Angel.” He kissed her, passionately and lovingly, yet so gentle he made her feel treasured.
For the first time, she realized that love and intimacy in the bed was nothing to fear or feel ashamed of. God had designed it to be this way, had made it to be with the man she loved. That God made her for this man. Isabella felt true love. She left all her feelings of unworthiness behind her.
Chapter 46
"When I heard they would take the girls, my first thought was who would feed them." Katrina told Gloria, who sat on the swing with her. "I promised my girls I would always feed them, but I just kept thinking no one will feed them. Odd, right?"
Izzy walked out, swinging the door shut behind her. "Nah, you kinda feed everyone." She sat on the railing. "You made a promise and you know how to keep it. It's normal." She sighed. "When I first heard my initial thought was I can't kill these men legally." She shook her head in disbelief. "These men get paid for being as bad as saloon owners, and I can't kill them legally."
Katrina and Gloria's eyes went wide when they realized she was being honest.
Izzy felt uncomfortable. She had told too much. What had overcome her?
Julia walked out. "Cole told me he had the same thoughts." She took Izzy's hand. "I appreciate all the times you protected my man. He wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. In more ways than one."
Izzy shrugged. "It goes both ways." She sighed. "Maybe one day these men will be put where they belong."
Katrina nodded. "We can only hope and try to change it. One day they will see life as it is." She looked at Julia. “How is David doing? Are things getting better?”
Julia shrugged. “Cole and I have been talking about it. While things are still hard they may get better in time. For we have never had friends or a church family. That might heal him. Be what he needs.” She sighed. “And he might not get better with me but I am not going to give up. There is always hope.”
Before anyone could respond they turned to see the first wagon pull in. A new part of life.
DRESSED IN HER FULL blue skirt and a white blouse, Francesca walked away from Liberty Ranch. Carrying a bag with food and clothes, she didn't look back.
By the time she had hitched on a ride to Denver, her feet hurt, her back ached, and she was cold. She stopped by the train station. She knew how to get a ticket, and had done it all before. But for the first time, she was afraid of the work. She was so tired of running. Tired of that line of work. She knew with her education, she couldn't do much. She had no plans for the future. That was before Katrina tried to push her to make plans for her future.
Sitting on the bench, she thought it over. She wasn't that good at cooking. She could ride, but not well enough, but with Andrew's teaching, she would have gotten good. She hated to clean. That was out of the question. Sighing, she didn't know what she wanted. The only thing she was good at, she didn't want to do. If she went home, Timmy would grin saying, "It’s about time you came back to where you belong, Princess."
Her mama had always said, "Only thing you will ever be good at is pleasing a man. A whore is all you will be."
Katrina said she could be whatever she wanted. She could make it happen with hard work. She wanted to believe that, but it was so hard. Doubts came in and fear took over, making her want to flee when they pressured her. Katrina made her feel things she never felt. She got out of the bitter cold and walked into the station. A man walked out, and nearly knocked her over. He caught her arm gently. "Sorry, miss, twas my fault," he said mannerly.
She looked at the older man and nodded. She couldn't get used to men being a gentleman, but she knew if he found out what she was, he wouldn't treat her with any kindness. "You are a pretty little lady. Best get home in this weather. You are someone’s special little girl."
Francesca took a step back in shock. Those were Andrew's words. He always told her, "You are my special little girl." Her legs shook. Sitting back on the bench, she glared at the ground. What was she doing? She was running from people that loved and cared for her. Why? She may not believe what they did, she might not believe in their God, but they showed they would love her. They didn't make Maverick believe, and they still loved him. They still loved Jesse, and he could be a pain. All the Starrys had come together and fought to keep the girls safe, though they hardly knew them. They bickered and fought, but always loved each other. How?
Looking up, the man was gone. Where had he gone? Andrew would call him an angel who God put there just to help a body out. Shaking her head, God had never shown her His care. That didn't mean she couldn't go back to the Starrys. She could try to be a family.
Now determined, ready to walk all the way back home, about an hour down the road, doubts came in. They won't want you. How many times have you run away? How many chances can you give them? Second chances run out. They won't love you forever. No one has before. Remember what your mama said, and she knew better than Katrina did. Francesca stopped in the middle of the road. What if they didn't want her?
Frozen in fear, she saw a wagon full of children drive up and stop in front of her. The driver asked, "You need a ride, Missy? We are on our way to Deer Trail." He looked up at the clouds gathering. "It looks like rain."
Francesca glanced at the children and the wife. The man wouldn't try anything with his family there. Nodding, she climbed in the back.
The wife smiled at her as they moved on. "Hello, honey. Where are you headin'?"
Maybe the movement of the wagon, the horse’s hooves, or staying up all night made her eyes close. Leaning against some feed, she said, "Mmm, Liberty Ranch." Then she dozed off.
She woke up as the
y entered Liberty Ranch land. She looked around with fresh eyes. This was home and would be forever. Pulling up to the house, she jumped out. It looked empty. She knew Izzy and Jesse were already in the mountains. But where were the others? Maybe they hadn't gone looking for her? What if they were partying? Or doing chores like she never left? Fear built again. She should just leave and save herself from the hurt.
Walking into the kitchen, she saw it empty. The fire was still warm. She took off her coat and set it on the table. She found a piece of paper on the table. Her name was on it. She picked it up and read. She caught about every other word. She wished she could read better to get it all.
Mama, I feel so lost. Francesca has run away again. Andrew and the boys are out looking again. I wondered if she would run away after almost losing the girls. Mama, I wish you could meet her. She is so wonderful. She is smart, sarcastic, and funny. She works so hard at what she does. She has such a bright future. I love her so much, Mama. I want my baby Francesca back and safe in my arms.
Francesca put the letter down. She was worried about her mama. Her mama cared. How could she be so blind? Stepping back, she walked back outside. The wagon and family were still there.
Then, in the yard, she saw Katrina walking out of the woods from the chapel. Her head down, then she looked up.
Francesca had never run to a mama. Never had a time where she ran to meet her mama as a child does. Her tummy mama hadn't been safe. She ran to her mama now. Her first real mama. Feeling her mama's arms around her, she felt safe for the first time.
Katrina held Francesca tightly, not believing it was her coming home. She really came home. She whispered over and over, "I love you, baby." Francesca cried for the first time Katrina had ever seen. Her daughter didn't cry when men took her body, when her sisters had been taken, or when she screamed for hours because of nightmares. But now her daughter sobbed. Katrina knew these tears were a breaking point. Her daughter was softening. Mama had said, 'when a heart is soft enough to cry out in tears, healing can start.'
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