Sex, Lies & Nikolai

by R. J. Lewis

  Even now in bed it takes me a while to understand it.

  He was rock hard. I saw the need in his eyes, the desperation to take me, yet he held back. And even though he never got there, he still paid me.

  Why would he pay me?

  I try to deny the obvious. That there was a message in his actions. One I’m trying very hard not to confront because I know it’ll soften my heart for the cocky bastard, but the words fly through me anyway, hiding under layers and layers of barriers.

  I wasn’t there for his pleasure. I was there so he could pleasure me.

  Chapter Twenty-One.

  “You’ve been fucked again,” Benji states, staring accusingly at me.

  I snap out of my daydream and look at him. “Hmm?”

  He shakes his head and mutters, “Idiot.”

  I yawn slowly into my mouth and enter lala land again, thinking of Nikolai and his mouth on my pussy.

  Before I’d just imagine myself kissing him, but that’s nothing in comparison to what we’ve done.

  “Am I paying you to stand around?” Ivan barks at us, coming out of the backroom with this angry face.

  I roll my eyes in front of him – oh, god, I’ve become Oksana – and drag my tired legs down an aisle, pretending to straighten out shit.

  Benji appears at my side, tsking at me. “Already your productivity lessens. Probably a sign he’s no good for you.”

  I laugh weakly. “He was good for me, alright.”

  His eyes widen. “You just admitted it.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “You did. You just admitted you’re fucking him.”

  I meander back to the counter after Ivan’s disappeared again. Benji is right on my heels, his judging breaths taking up most of my hearing.

  “He’s doing it for himself,” he tells me. “Men want to just come and leave. You’re better than that, Alina.”

  “Yeah? Thanks for the self-esteem boost, Benji.”

  “You clearly lack it to throw yourself into bed with a man from the mafia.”

  “That didn’t stop you from getting a loan from him.”

  “Yeah, I wasn’t fucking him though.”

  I don’t let his words get to me. I just look at him, knowing how oblivious he is of what I’m doing with Nikolai. “What does it mean if the person just wants to pleasure you instead?”

  He makes a face. “No man’s that perfect.”

  I laugh. “Wow, Benji.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Because you know everything.”

  “I do.” He nods confidently. “And I know that man is looking after his own dick.”

  He’s wrong.

  It actually warms me how wrong Benji is, because I have three orgasms from Nikolai’s mouth to prove it. I actually feel a little selfish now that I think about it. He took his time, built me up and brought me to amazing heights.

  He must have blue balls of doom right now.

  I eye the clock, and when Nikolai doesn’t show mid-morning, I find myself craving his presence already.

  *

  I don’t work through my unpaid lunch break like I usually do. Instead, I find myself hurrying to Nikolai’s pawn shop, and I don’t care at all that Ivan will be short with me for the rest of the day. I’m feeling too…carefree at the moment. Something’s shifted in me lately. It’s not the end of the world if I’m a couple minutes late to work, and I don’t feel like I have to be perfect during my shift or else I’ll lose my job. Ivan’s threatening eyes are met with the steely eyes of my own, and he’s not too happy about it.

  I’m pretty sleep deprived. Nikolai was on my mind until the early hours of the morning. What he did to me last night, all the attention and orgasms I endured at the work of his mouth, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s why I’m going to see him now. I’m nervous about it, about what I want to do in return, but I can’t help the lick of pleasure I would feel at knowing he was taken care of and not left hanging.

  There are many customers inside his shop when I arrive, and Vlad and Andrei are tending to them individually. Nikolai’s nowhere to be seen.

  “Alina.” I look up to Vlad’s voice. He’s peering at me curiously behind the counter. “What do you want?”

  “I need to see Nikolai,” I tell him.

  “He’s in his office.”

  “With a client?”

  “Alone, but he’s busy.”

  I nod slowly. “I’ll come back later then –”

  “He’ll have my head if he knew you came by.” Vlad pauses and glances at the office door, a thoughtful expression on his face. Then he sighs and turns back to me. “Go in, but be quick about it, lapochka. He’s got lots of matters to tend to.”

  I hesitate but smile politely at him. “Thanks.”

  He nods, an amused smile playing at his lips. “Sure.”

  I stop at the door, and I stare at it for a few seconds. It’s not like me to back down from something. It took me balls of steel to come here for the first time; this should be a breeze.

  The nerves intensify the second I open the door and step into Nikolai’s office. He’s in the middle of dialling a number on his phone when he looks up, freezing at the sight of me.

  “Alina,” he mutters in surprise. “Is everything okay?”

  I don’t answer. I shut the door behind me and move to him instead, the desire in me too strong to stop me now. He watches me, curious of what I’m doing. I step around the desk and he turns his chair to me, a question forming at his lips when I suddenly drop to my knees. He lets go of the phone instantly, his eyes darkening in realization the second my hands fumble at his belt.

  “Alina,” he whispers gravely, “you don’t have to –”

  “I’ve never done this before,” I cut in, withdrawing his already hardening cock as I look back at him. “And I’m totally out of my comfort zone and barely confident as it is right now, so don’t say anything to me, because I really might fall apart.”

  He tries to smile, but they don’t meet his wanting eyes. He watches me, his lips parting, his eyes darting to the office door and back.

  “So,” I press, “You going to let me do this?”

  His face tightens to an impossible point. “You just told me not to speak, you impertinent little minx.” I smile. “Don’t keep me waiting then. Fuck me with your mouth, and suck me hard, rybka. I like it hard.”

  My fingers barely meet around his shaft as I pump him. I’m so in the dark right now, I have only his groans to go by. I wrap my lips around the head of him and taste his pre-cum. He curses under his breath, and his hand rests at the back of my head, guiding me back and forth at the pace he likes.

  “You’re sweet,” he mutters. “You come here to please me and it’s so fucking sweet.”

  His words burn me. I suck harder and he groans again, fisting his hand into my hair.

  “Did you like when I slapped your ass?” he breathes, hissing at the way I pump him harder. I make a sound at the back of my throat. “Yeah? You liked when I hurt your round little ass? You know how red it went, Alina? It was fucking sexy. I wanted to slap you again and again ‘til you came in my mouth, flooding my tongue with your sweet come.”

  It’s the first time I hear him speak in English to me while he writhes in pleasure. I’m breathing just as hard as him, loving the sting in my hair as he grips it harder, his cock growing impossibly hard.

  “Perfect, Alina.”

  I moan along with him, moving up and down, feeling like a normal woman with a sexy appetite for a sexy man with a cock the gods would envy.

  “Take your top off,” he demands tightly. “I want to see your perky tits as I come.”

  I let go of his cock and tear my shirt off. With a hand still in my hair, he leans over and pushes my bra down so that my breasts come popping out. Then he angles my head up and delivers a punishing kiss, all tongue and bite. His other hand squeezes at my breast, pinching at my nipple, making me yelp in his mouth. He swallows the sound and growls de
ep in his throat, ending the kiss abruptly. He grips my hair and brings me back to his cock.

  “Suck me,” he orders, harshly. “Please, Alina.”

  I do, taken aback by how undone he sounds.

  My movements are erratic. I can’t form a rhythm because he keeps jutting his hips up and down at random intervals, making me choke on his cock. He likes the sound of it because he groans deep in his throat, and for some strange reason, I feel like I might just come hearing him.

  “I’m right there,” he pants. “If you don’t want it down your throat, pull away right now.”

  I don’t. I keep going, and he curses loudly and slams his cock into me one last time. I feel his release in my mouth, and it’s the weirdest sensation. None of it is delivered elegantly. I’m close to choking and sputtering, but I swallow it quickly. Classy. So fucking classy, Alina. He pulls out of me straight away, like he can notice, and it makes the moment even more humiliating. But he doesn’t look amused by it, or fazed in the slightest. Instead, he pulls me into his lap and cradles me there, his heartbeats thundering against my ears at a dizzying rate.

  “What was that?” he whispers to me in awe.

  I don’t respond. I’m still kind of embarrassed about the end of what would have been an awesome blow job.

  “You’re a fireball,” he says, smiling against my forehead. “You slam into me and I burn right up with you.”

  I look up at him just then and meet his gaze. He’s impossibly beautiful from this close and at ease. For once, he looks his early age, like his past life hasn’t bled him out into a hard man. Right now he’s all softness, and it’s a look I can get used to.

  That thought disturbs me greatly. I squirm from his grip, sitting up and looking away. I push my breasts back into my bra and fish for my shirt. He lets me slide off, but his eyes burn into my every move

  “I gotta go back to work,” I tell him.

  “Am I going to see you?” he asks.

  I give him a dry laugh. “You just saw me.”

  “What about tonight?”

  “I…I can’t tonight. I’m going to the movies with Scarlett.”

  “What are you seeing?”

  “Why does it matter?”

  It doesn’t escape me how bitchy I sound. I don’t want to sound that way, either. It’s just… It’s just… I fume, not even understanding the battle inside of me right now.

  I turn and give him a contrite look, but Nikolai’s back to being hard again. He opens his drawer and pulls out an envelope, and I feel horrified at the sight of it.

  “I’m not here for that,” I tell him quickly.

  He pauses and looks at me questionably.

  I tuck my hair behind my ears and straighten my shirt out, pretending to be distracted. “I’ll see you, Nikolai.”

  I don’t wait for him to answer. I bolt out of there, like I’m running from the bogey man, hating the smirk on Vlad’s face right before I leave.

  “Shut up,” I snap at him.

  He laughs and I spend the rest of the walk back to the store straightening my unruly hair.

  Nikolai

  I lazily tuck my cock into my pants and zip it up. Then I lean back against my chair and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

  I can hardly get my heart to calm down. She just sucked me to perfection, those plump lips putting my fantasies to shame.

  I needed that. Fucking hell, I didn’t know until now how much I needed it.

  My phone rings, and I glance at the time, knowing who it is. I scheduled to talk to a seller of a sports car I was interested in buying. I have several buyers in place, and there’s a decent profit I can make on this deal, but I let it sit there and ring instead.

  Alina is truly fucking with my head.

  Her walls are impenetrable. She’s keeping me at a distance, but I didn’t know that consisted of unpaid blowjobs. She’s all the more unpredictable now. She’s like a Rubik’s cube: one turn here, another turn there, and always one colour short to match.

  I smile at the thought just as the door opens and Vlad pokes his head in. There’s a knowing smirk on his face, and I chuckle, shaking my head at him.

  “Don’t,” I tell him.

  “I haven’t said anything,” he replies.

  “You were about to.”

  “It’s just good to see you…relaxed.”

  “Fuck you.”

  He laughs. “I didn’t like her all that much before, but now I’m starting to see the advantages. A calm Sokolov is what we need around here.”

  “That’s not on her,” I lie. “I’m just learning to ease up.”

  He shakes his head, looking dubious before he leaves, telling me just before he goes he’ll take care of the ringing phone I’ve abandoned.

  When he’s gone, I don’t feel the need to slick my hair back or tuck my shirt back into my pants. I end up throwing my suit jacket off, not giving a fuck about going back to wispy man. He’s stealing too much of my money anyway.

  I lean back into my chair, feeling a calmness I haven’t felt in a very long time.

  And for a while I sit like that, raising my hand, inspecting it, waiting for the tremors that never come.

  Chapter Twenty-Two.

  I get off work the next day and go straight to the pawn shop. I knock on the locked door above the sign that says “CLOSED” and wait for Andrei to open for me.

  “Hey, lapochka,” he greets me after opening it, distractedly staring at two women gathered around the counter. They’re both dressed to the nines in tight little dresses, watching as Vlad spreads out diamond jewellery before them on the counter.

  “Can I go see Nikolai?” I ask Andrei as I step in.

  He takes a moment to respond because his eyes are feasting on the blonde girl’s ass. “Uh, he’s with a customer right now. Just have to wait.”

  I take a seat on a chair against the entrance window, my fingers already tugging at the green stone of my necklace. The girls laugh at something Vlad says, and then they do that thing with their hair, twirling it around their fingers.

  I look them over. They’re loaded with jewellery. The blonde in particular has this giant rock on her wedding finger and a tennis bracelet that can blind anyone staring at it too long.

  I didn’t know Nikolai received such upscale customers. This place is a blend of both worlds, both the poor and the rich. And looking over my clothes, I know where I stand.

  “I’ll leave you to think it through,” Vlad tells them.

  The girls nod and move away from the counter, sitting down on the chairs at the end of me. They discuss what piece of jewellery they liked the most.

  The blonde wants the necklace because it’ll go with her dress at a special after party next week.

  The brunette wants the pearl earrings because they’re versatile and simple.

  But they’re on a budget, the poor things. They’ve got five grand to spend and the pieces are a little over their price limit.

  I can’t help but laugh, my eyes widening as the number pounds into my skull.

  Five grand.

  Five. Grand.

  I don’t mean to sound bitter, but fuck, five thousand dollars on earrings and a necklace? It’s not like they’re sacred heirlooms either. Is it the poor person in me that is mortified? Or is it bloody common sense to be shocked that something so meaningless could be worth so much?

  The girls look at me when they hear my shocked laughter and they exchange glances.

  “She’s probably just a junkie looking for a loan,” one whispers.

  “Poor Nikolai. I couldn’t deal with people like that.”

  They shoot me pitiful looks, and I fidget a little in my chair. It’s not like me to get uncomfortable. Usually I glare back and say something snide, but I’m out of my element here. This is Nikolai’s shop and I can’t necessarily swear them out and cost him business.

  Plus, they’re not doing anything wrong. If they can justify spending that coin, who am I t
o say otherwise? Still.

  Five thousand fucking dollars.

  When I think of money, I think of how I can stretch it to last as long as possible.

  They continue to whisper, looking at me every so often like I have another head. Just then, a shadow passes over me and a body drops down to the chair next to me. I glance quickly at Vlad before looking back down into my lap.

  He doesn’t say anything to me at first, but the girls stop talking right away, staring at us in silence, their interest piqued.

  “Bitches,” Vlad whispers to me.

  My lips twitch. “I know.”

  He leans back into the chair and wraps his large arm around my shoulders, rubbing against my arm like it’s the most casual thing ever. I know what he’s doing. He’s sending them a message. That I’m not a junkie. I’m not looking for a loan. I’m welcomed here. They see it loud and clear and divert their attention away from us.

  My body relaxes. He’s sweet.

  The door opens minutes later and Nikolai walks out with an older man. Nikolai is nodding his head at the man’s words, but his eyes already find me, and he gives Vlad and me a curious look.

  “Vlad will take care of the transaction,” he tells the man shortly after.

  “Thank you, Nikolai.”

  Nikolai leaves the man and comes straight to me.

  “Hi Nikolai,” the brunette says, smiling dazedly at him as he approaches.

  He gives her a polite nod before turning his attention back to us. He shoves his hands into his pockets, coming to a stop, staring between Vlad and me with pinched brows.

  “Are we getting to know each other?” he asks, his voice light with amusement.

  Vlad chuckles. “She’s cuddly.”

  Nikolai smirks. “If you don’t let your arm drop now, you’ll be cuddly too after I’m through with you.”

  I laugh, surprised by how easy going these two are. I like that Nikolai is so confident he’s not one bit perturbed by Vlad’s closeness. But still, I catch the way his jaw relaxes the second Vlad drops his arm.