Yesterday

by Fern Michaels

  The buttons were in her hand, light as a feather. She squeezed her eyes shut as she muttered and murmured under her breath. When she opened her eyes she dropped the buttons into her lap, her eyes going to the three-holed button and where it rested next to the others. Again and again she dropped the buttons in her lap, the three-holed button staring up at her like a monster eye. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her baby wasn’t going to sit up and smile at her. Not now, not ever.

  Pearl drifted off into a silent orgy of disbelief. Her foot tapped slowly on the shiny tile floor. It was her way of calling on the good spirits to come to her aid.

  It occurred to Pearl as she entered into a half sleep, half trance, that there were no buttons that belonged to her in the pencil case. The reason being, she had never owned anything with buttons, with the exception of this new dress Bode gave her. It was an omen, she was sure of it.

  The tears rolled on down her weathered cheeks.

  Pearl grieved. It was the only thing left for her to do.

  10

  All three doctors look alike, Wyn thought. How is that possible? Doctors, like other people, should be individuals. Maybe it was the long white coats, the stethoscopes. Maybe it was the prematurely gray hair, or maybe their tired eyes that saw so much death. Triplets, he thought crazily. He tried to pick out the doctor he’d spoken to last night. His face had been a blur then; it was still a blur. All he could remember was the man’s weary eyes and exhausted voice. He waited now, behind Sela, Brie, and Pearl, for one of the doctors to speak.

  The orthopedic surgeon and the trauma specialist took a step backward. The neurosurgeon took a step forward and addressed himself to Wyn.

  They all listened to the discouraging words. Callie wasn’t going to get better; she was in a deep coma. They would, of course, do what they could to make her comfortable. In unison the triplets said, “I’m so very sorry.”

  “Bullshit!” Wyn raged. “I want every specialist, the best the world has to offer. I don’t care what it costs. Get them, and if you can’t get them for me, I’ll do it myself. Now! I want the calls to go out now! I want physical therapy around the clock. I want everything. Do you hear me? I want everything that can be done to be done, and I want it done starting now.” He deflated with his words and sat down.

  Brie walked over to the small group of men and identified herself. “Mr. Archer is right. We’d like a second and a third opinion, as many opinions as we can get. It’s not that we’re questioning your abilities. We want a consensus of opinion. Callie is so young—too young, to have her life snatched like this. We need to know that everything that can possibly be done is being done. We need . . . a miracle,” she said.

  “We can only do our best,” the trauma specialist said softly.

  “We’ve already called in the best in their field,” the neurosurgeon explained, “on the off chance we may have missed something. The team will arrive tomorrow. It is our considered opinion,” he added as he agitatedly finger-combed his hair, “that a miracle is almost certainly ruled out. We can’t offer you hope where there is none. That wouldn’t be fair to you or the patient. If you follow me, you can see Miss Parker, one at a time, for five minutes each. Then I want you all to go home and come back during visiting hours.”

  At the nurse’s station outside the ICU ward, Wyn charged ahead, but Brie’s arm snaked out and jerked him backward. “Ladies first, Wyn. Pearl goes in before us.”

  “Yes, yes, you’re right. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, Pearl. God, what does she carry in that bag?”

  “The mysteries of the universe,” Sela said tiredly.

  “I had the chance to look, but I didn’t,” Brie said. “If I had, I wouldn’t have been able to look Pearl in the eye. Is it important for you to know, Wyn?”

  “I don’t want her plastering Callie with any of that stuff. Callie told me about her spells and all that other bullshit she uses. It’s goddamn voodoo if you want my opinion. She better not be putting any of those dirty old charms around Callie’s neck.”

  “And if she does, Wyn, what harm is there in it? The doctors aren’t offering any kind of hope, and if it makes Pearl feel better to do whatever she feels she has to do, what right have any of us to tell her she can’t? She’s going through a terrible time just the way you are. Let it be, Wyn,” Brie said tightly.

  “I can’t believe you go along with that nonsense. I know you girls were brought up on that foolishness, but it’s hocus-pocus, pure and simple.”

  Two minutes later, Pearl came out of the room with tears drizzling down her cheeks. Both Sela and Brie rushed to put their arms around her. She sobbed then, the sounds ripping at both women’s hearts.

  “You can take my turn as well, Pearl,” Brie offered.

  “Mine too. You can have another ten whole minutes, Pearl,” Sela said as she dabbed at Pearl’s cheeks with a tissue.

  “I can’t be doing that,” Pearl said, sobbing.

  “We want you to. Tell Callie we’re out here. We’ll say a prayer for her. Tell her that, too,” Brie said.

  “If you’re sure . . .”

  “We’re sure,” Sela said. “When you come out, we’re taking you home. We’ll come back later. Is it a deal?” Pearl’s head bobbed up and down.

  His eyes misty with tears, Wyn shuffled from the Intensive Care Unit out to the nurses’ station, where he stared at Brie and Sela with blinded vision. He sensed Pearl move past him and knew she was taking Brie and Sela’s turn. “That was nice of you, but it has to be torture for her. I’m not sure you did her a favor by giving up your turn.”

  “Pearl’s a strong woman,” Sela said.

  “Did you call Bode?”

  “We’re going to wait for the second and third opinions,” Brie said.

  “I think that’s a good idea. When you pay for the best you get the best. I’m not saying these fellows down here aren’t good, but sometimes . . . most times there is someone better. You just have to find that particular someone. I’m really counting on a miracle.”

  He looks so damn vulnerable, Brie thought.

  “And if these new doctors, these best of the best, if they can’t give us the miracle, then what?”

  “I can’t allow myself to think along those lines. I need to believe something can be done. If I don’t believe that, then I’m lost. I’ve read about people being in comas for months, sometimes years, and then they come out of them. Callie could be one of those people. She could wake up tomorrow. Those doctors we spoke with, they aren’t God. They aren’t even good stand-ins. Until someone positively tells me there is no hope at all, I will believe something can be done. I’ll hunt this earth over, a dozen times, until I find someone to help her. This was supposed to be my wedding day.”

  Sela nudged Brie, ever so gently. She bit down on her tongue so she wouldn’t blurt out the decision Callie had made and shared with Pearl in the Judge’s garden. She felt Brie’s breath explode in a loud sigh next to her. Obviously, Brie was expecting her to do just that.

  “Please, you have to leave now,” an orderly said as he inched a gurney around the threesome. The door to ICU was suddenly opened. The gurney swept through and minutes later was wheeled past them, the still form covered from head to toe. A cleric walked through the door, smiled tiredly at them before he headed for the elevator.

  They bolted.

  Brie and Sela turned away from the double doors to stare at the flowers sitting on the shelf above the nurses’ station. They looked badly in need of water, their petals dropping, the greenery brown at the edges. “I think,” Brie whispered, “everything on this floor dies.”

  “Everything . . . and everybody, but not Callie,” Sela said. “We should be doing something. Praying . . . crying. Talking about our memories. Standing around like this seems so wasteful, so useless.”

  “Do you think she’s going to come out of it?” Brie whispered.

  “No. Do you?”

  “The doctors . . . miracles do happen.”

&nb
sp; “When was the last time you heard about a miracle?” Sela said, blowing her nose vigorously. “I just keep thinking about how nasty I was. I didn’t have one kind word to say to her. I kept baiting her and . . . Oh, shit. I want to take it all back.”

  Brie patted her friend’s shoulder. “Callie understood that you were only reacting to your own problems. Callie was—is—always good about understanding. She was so troubled about that business with Bode. I wish I knew what she was thinking and feeling before the accident.”

  “How long are you staying?” Sela asked.

  “I was supposed to leave tonight, but I’m going to call and ask for a few more days. I can take time if I want to. The thing is, will I be a help or a hindrance? We need to get Pearl settled. What about you?”

  “I was going to leave in the morning. I, too, can stay a few extra days. My real-estate class starts on Thursday. Maybe I can come here on weekends. I can make the drive in thirteen hours. I’m willing to do it if you think it’s a good idea. Maybe when I finish the course I can relocate here. One place is as good as another for me at this point in time. Do you have any suggestions?”

  “The airfare is outrageous from California to here. I can’t come back and forth too much. Maybe once every six weeks or so. If I knew there was something I could do, something that would make things better for Callie, I’d do it.”

  “I’m not doing it just for Callie. If I come back here, it will be to help Pearl. I don’t mean that the way it sounds. She doesn’t look well to me, Brie. I’ve seen her clutch at her chest, and she gets breathless from time to time. Has she, to your knowledge, ever been to a real doctor?”

  “I don’t know. Callie never mentioned anything in her letters. We’ll talk to her. If she isn’t well, then I won’t think twice about moving back here. We’ll have to be devious though. Pearl will try and fool us. Shhh, here she comes.”

  “My baby is too still. I picked up her hand and squeezed it. I wanted her to feel me next to her bed. My sweet baby love didn’t know I was there. She looks daid.”

  “She’s not dead, Pearl, she’s in a deep sleep and she can—she will—wake up when it’s time. We’re taking you home now. You need to eat something, and you definitely need sleep. We’re both going to stay on at Parker Manor a while longer to help out.”

  “Bless your hearts for doing this for old Pearl. I do need you. Where will Mr. Wyn be staying?” she asked tremulously.

  “Not with us, that’s for sure,” Brie snapped. “You two go out to the car, and I’ll tell Wyn we’re leaving.”

  “It’s okay, Brie,” Wyn said when she told him their plans. “I dropped a bag off at the Holiday Inn. I’ll shower there. I plan on staying in Summerville. The Judge told me to stop by the house for meals. Don’t worry about me bothering Pearl, or you and Sela. Somewhere, somehow, we all got off on the wrong foot, and it’s probably all my fault. If you don’t believe anything else, Brie, believe I love Callie with all my heart. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for her. If I don’t make a lot of sense now and if I seem to do things that you find contrary, chalk it up to this utter hopelessness I feel.”

  Brie nodded. She believed everything he said. She acknowledged the misery and hopelessness she saw in his eyes. But there was something missing, and she didn’t know what it was. As Pearl said, everything in its own good time. Sooner or later she’d figure it out.

  The midafternoon sun was gone when the three women exited the hospital, the blanket-wet humidity like a shroud. Sela raised her eyes. “Drive like hell, Brie, or we’re going to get caught in some heavy rain. You remember what the August rains are like—you can’t see your hand in front of your face.” She settled Pearl in the backseat. When she had made herself comfortable in the front seat of the car with a cigarette between her lips, she said, “It feels ominous, doesn’t it?”

  Brie craned her neck to see the dark gray clouds scudding overhead. It was going to rain. She wished for sun and dry air. San Diego, she thought, has perfect weather. “I think we might make it. If not, don’t worry. I’ve taken defensive driving.”

  “It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s the other nutcases on the road,” Sela groused. “I hate rainstorms. Once when I was first married . . . Oh never mind. That’s a whole other story.”

  “Great. I’m not in the mood for stories. It helps if things are quiet.”

  Forty minutes later, Brie pulled the rental car alongside the steps on the back porch. Fat raindrops splattered on the windshield as Pearl lumbered up the steps. Sela ran on ahead, her shoulder purse flopping against her leg, while Brie stayed behind to roll up all the windows. She didn’t care about the warm rain, didn’t mind getting wet. She sat down on the top step, her legs stretched out in front of her. The rain, at first, was like a gentle waterfall, covering her completely, cleansing her. “Please, God, make this all come out right for Pearl,” she prayed, “and for all of us.”

  The screen door opened. “I always said you were nuts. Anyone who sits in the rain and ruins her dress must be crazy. Brie, what the hell are you doing?” It was Sela.

  “Actually, I was praying before you interrupted me. You sound like one of those screech owls. The rain feels soothing, sort of like a balm if you know what I mean. Why don’t you join me? We need to talk, Sela. Where’s Pearl?”

  “Taking off her dress. I told her to have a nap, but I don’t know if she will.” She sat down next to Brie, and extended her legs like Brie’s. “This dress cost four hundred dollars, the shoes two hundred and fifty.”

  “Bet you wish you had that money in your hand, huh?”

  “Damn right. I always loved this place. If I was as rich as sin and I owned it, I’d turn it into a showplace.”

  “For who to see?”

  “Me. Just little me . . . Oh, Brie—the only person who ever really loved me was Pearl. That’s a hell of a thing to admit, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, but I’m in the same situation. I know where you’re coming from. What are we going to do about Bode?”

  “You girls are plumb out of your minds,” Pearl said, settling herself on a wicker chair behind them. “I hear you mention my boy’s name.”

  “We were wondering if we should try and get in touch with him. What do you think, Pearl? It has to be your decision.”

  For the first time ever, the girls saw Pearl flustered. “I jest don’t know, Miz Brie. Parts of me want him to know and parts of me don’t want him to know. His heart’s been broke so many times already. He cain’t do nothing for Miz Callie but sit by her bed. I can do that for both of us. If we disturb his life, he’s going to be that far behind when it’s time for him to become a judge.”

  “Bode’s going to be a judge! How do you know that, Pearl?” Brie said as she wiped at the rain pelting her in the face.

  “I seen it in the . . . I jest seen it,” Pearl said, her voice stubborn-sounding. Brie and Sela looked at one another.

  “Okay. That means we don’t call him, right?” Sela said.

  “I don’t have a telephone number,” Pearl said: “If he wanted me to have his telephone number, he’d have given it to me. That means he don’t want no calls.”

  “This is different, Pearl,” Brie said gently. “Will he forgive us when he finds out? He might see or meet someone from here, someone who still has ties. It will be a hard thing to forgive, Pearl.”

  “I know that,” Pearl said. “It’s not the time to be calling my boy. Give me your word.”

  They gave it in unison.

  “We need to make arrangements for you, Pearl. You’re going to want to spend as much time at the hospital as you can. This is what I propose. If you go along with it, we’ll take care of it first thing tomorrow. We’ll get you an apartment close to the hospital. This way you can walk instead of taking a cab or depending on someone to drive you.”

  “Miz Brie, I don’t have money for that. My people will see that I git there. Don’t be fretting now.”

  “I’m not fretting, Pearl. This
is best. I’ll stop and see the Judge; he’ll take care of things. Callie had a small bank account. He can speak to the bank and get their permission to use it. I have some money I can add to the account and when Sela becomes solvent she’ll contribute. This . . . it could be a very long time, Pearl. This will make it easier. We can’t do anything for Callie right now so we have to do what we can for you. I’m going to call later and ask for an extra week. Sela can stay till Wednesday night. We agreed to come back and forth to do whatever we can. Now, is this okay with you?”

  “I cain’t be spending my baby’s money on myself. It ain’t right, Miz Brie,” Pearl sniffed.

  “You aren’t doing it—we are. Callie would want it this way.”

  “Will Mr. Wyn let me stay at the hospital to take care of my baby?” Pearl asked, her voice shaky.

  “Wyn wasn’t married to Callie—you are her next of kin. The Judge can make that legal. Wyn isn’t her guardian. You come first, Pearl. We all know Callie was going to cancel the wedding. We’ll tell that to the Judge, and he’ll do what’s best for both you and Callie. He’s a fair, honest man. You have to trust him, Pearl.”

  “What about this house, the property?” Sela said.

  “Belongs to Mr. Wyn now,” Pearl said.

  “We’ll see about that,” Brie said. “When Callie deeded it to him, she believed in her heart she was going to marry Wyn. I’m sure she would have asked for it back. Heck, she probably wouldn’t have had to ask! Wyn is an honorable man, he’d have given it back. He already offered. The Judge will take care of it. I think that’s the least of our worries. Are you okay with all this, Pearl?”