Yesterday

by Fern Michaels

  It was over. He remembered the awesome relief he’d felt when he had said the words aloud. He would also never forget the disgust he had read in the faces around him. He hadn’t flinched though. He’d stood tall, told the truth. Finally.

  His punishment was going to be a balm to his soul.

  He remembered how he’d wished for yesterday. No more. Now he wished for tomorrow. For all the tomorrows yet to come.

  The demons of his sleep departed. He slept, deeply and dreamlessly. Tomorrow was the first day of his new life. Yesterday was gone forever.

  20

  “Hatch, where did the time go? It seems like you just got married, and now we’re drinking this terrible coffee waiting for your first child to be born. We’re getting old. I can’t even remember the last year and a half.”

  “I remember it.” Hatch chortled. “I remember everything. The wedding, the honeymoon, the day I knew Sela got pregnant. She knew it, too, the exact moment. Hard to believe, huh? God, I’m going to be a father! Me! You don’t think anything will happen to Sela, do you, Bode?”

  “Absolutely not. She’s in wonderful shape, and she didn’t gain too much weight. She took care of herself and exercised moderately and you looked after her. The doctor said she was fine.”

  “Maybe I should have agreed to go in with her, but she didn’t want it, and I didn’t think I could handle it. Was that wrong of me, Bode?”

  “Nah. Men don’t belong in delivery rooms. I couldn’t handle it either. Guess we aren’t modern men.”

  “Everything would be just perfect if Brie . . . Sela wanted her here so bad, but she’s off on assignment. She hasn’t seen her since she left Atlanta. Calling isn’t the same and when Brie does call it’s usually on the run. You haven’t heard from her, have you?”

  “I’m on Brie’s zero list. She’ll never call me. She did send a Christmas card last year but it had her name printed on it. She didn’t send a message or anything,” Bode said tightly.

  “It would be so perfect for Sela if Callie and Brie were both here. If there was a way for me to make it happen I would.”

  “Sela knows that, Hatch. Lighten up. You look awful.”

  “Do you think I’ll make a good father?”

  “Of course! It’s all about the time you spend with your kids. That giving thing, you know, every toy under the sun, that’s not what parenthood is all about. It’s about sitting up all night, holding your wife’s hand and the kid’s hand when he or she runs a high fever. It’s about a smack on the butt, taking the kid to church, setting good examples, eating together, talking about the day you all had. Teaching right from wrong. It’s a hell of a responsibility, Hatch.”

  “I know—and that’s what worries me. What if the kid knows I’m not father material? They sense things like that.”

  “You gotta bond with him or her. I read that, Hatch. You gotta do that right away. You’re gonna be the best father in the whole world. No kid will ever be prouder of their old man than your kid. Trust me on this, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay. It’s been seven hours, Bode.”

  “It can go seven more. I read that, too. Do you have your cigars?”

  “Hell, yes. Sela made sure. They’re in the car. The nursery is ready. Sela didn’t want a nanny. She’s going to breast feed. What do you think of that, Bode?”

  “I never would have believed it. You guys were meant for one another. See what happens when you trust me?”

  “Eat shit, Bode. You might be good about fixing other people’s problems, but you suck at fixing your own. I cannot believe you haven’t called Brie. That stinks. You’re probably the reason she won’t come out here.”

  “Not probably. It is the reason. She made her own decisions, and they didn’t include me. That’s the way she wants it. I don’t like to talk about it, Hatch.”

  “Sela wants us all to have Thanksgiving together. She suggested we go to New York. The doctor said the baby will be able to fly. She wants to show him or her off to Callie. It might make Callie feel better, too. Do you think it’s a good idea?”

  “Sure. Where?”

  “Jake Deering has an apartment uptown someplace. I’ll check out the address. He told me I could use it anytime I was in New York. I don’t know why he keeps it. He said he’s never going back. Still, I guess New York apartments are like money in the bank. Just last week I heard Sela ask Brie if she’d be able to make it, and Brie said yes.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. Ah, I saw your eyes light up. It will give you something to look forward to, Bode. All of you will be together again. A year and a half is a long time, and you ain’t gettin’ any younger, you know.”

  “I’ll mark it on my calendar.”

  “You going up this month?”

  “Yes. Callie’s doing wonderfully. It was tough in the beginning. She took turns in delighting the doctors, then she would disappoint them, provoke them, amaze them and even discourage them when she refused to cooperate on certain days. She’s past that now. She’s regained most of her memory and she’s walking fairly well. She tends to panic at times. When she’s discharged she’s going to have a physical therapist live in with her until she’s certified as A-1.”

  “Is she going to stay in New York?”

  “She says no. She wants to go back to Summerville and live in Parker Manor all by herself. Apparently she’s going to use the insurance money to refurbish the house.”

  “You said you were going to tell her you had sold off the property. You said you were going to tell her everything,” Hatch reminded him angrily.

  “I was, but the doctors warned me that she wasn’t ready to handle any of it. Pearl’s death was almost her undoing. She had a terrible setback. Wyn’s confession and his eighteen months in the slammer was another setback. I’m her lifeline, and I can’t jerk that line.”

  “Have you given any thought to the possibility that maybe you’ll never be able to tell her?”

  “I think about it on a daily basis,” Bode said miserably.

  “Have they started construction?”

  “Six months ago. The house is gone, so is the barn. There’s nothing to go back to. I don’t know what she’ll do when she finds that out.”

  “That’s not your problem, Bode. You’re wrong about her not having a place to go back to. She has parents who would welcome her with wide-open arms, parents who will love her if she allows it.”

  “She won’t. I’m not sure I should even tell her that.”

  “Well, you’re wrong, Bode. She needs to be told. When she’s mentally strong.”

  “That’s just it, Hatch. She’s fragile.”

  “Sela says that’s a crock, Bode. She said Callie is tough as rawhide, and you were the only one who couldn’t see it. Sela says Callie wants you.”

  “Sela talks too much,” Bode said irritably.

  “Yeah, that’s true, but I love listening to her. Brie says it also, that Callie wants you. Are you saying they’re both wrong?” Hatch asked slyly.

  “Shut up, Hatch.”

  “You just lied to me, Bode.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yes, you did. You said the house was gone. What you didn’t say was you had it moved. It’s being refurbished as we speak.”

  “Damn you, Hatch, you’ve been spying on me again.”

  “Someone has to look out for you. I’m not letting you make a mistake.”

  “I did it for Sela and Brie and myself. When it came time to part with it, I couldn’t do it. All I could see was Mama Pearl standing on the back porch with the flyswatter. I don’t plan on telling Callie. Does that make you happy?”

  “No. Sela swears she’s never going back there. Brie said they’d have to drag her kicking and screaming because she’s not going back either. That leaves just you. Pretty expensive hobby, if you want my opinion.”

  “It’s okay for Jake Deering to own an expensive apartment in New York that he never lives in or even visits, but it isn’t all right fo
r me to refurbish the old house.”

  “Jake Deering isn’t carrying a ton of baggage on his back. I wish you had talked to me first, Bode. It’s a mistake, a bad one.”

  “You’re probably right,” Bode agreed.

  “You still haven’t cut her loose. Why is that, Bode?”

  “I told you, it’s not the right time.”

  “You are going to do it, aren’t you? Your word, Bode.”

  “I’m going to do it when the time is right. I think Callie is striving for January the first. I know I am. A new year and all that. It’s only a few more months.”

  “Sell off that house. Let Mama Pearl rest in peace, Bode.”

  “What if I give it to Mr. and Mrs. Davis? What do you think of that?”

  “Jesus Christ!”

  “If they lived there, Callie might . . . she might accept them.”

  “And make them Pearl clones. Wake up, Bode!”

  “Mr. Littletree?”

  “Me, I’m him. I’m Mr. Littletree,” Hatch bellowed as he bounded over to the nurse.

  “That’s him,” Bode said, pointing to Hatch.

  “Congratulations! You have a beautiful, handsome, nine-pound-four-ounce baby boy. You can see him in a few minutes.”

  “My wife?”

  “She’s just fine. You’ll be able to see her in a bit.”

  “A boy! She said it was a boy! I have a son! Bode, I have a son! I’m a goddamn father! Nothing in the world will ever compare with this moment.”

  Bode led Hatch back to the chair he’d been sitting on. “Don’t move, you look kind of shaky. I’ll get you some coffee. I saw the nurse put a fresh pot on a little while ago.”

  Bode was back in a moment. “Have you guys picked out a name?”

  “Yeah. If it was a girl we were going to call her Briana Pearl Littletree. We agreed to call a boy Shunpus Bowdey Littletree.”

  “Are you kidding me, Hatch?”

  “Hell, no. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be sitting here. How do I thank you for introducing me to Sela, Bode?”

  “You’ve done it a thousand different ways, Hatch. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Jeez, I can’t wait to see him. Nine pounds is a big baby. Bet he looks like he’s a couple of months old. Usually seven pounds is normal. He’s got an extra two. I read it, Hatch.”

  “Do you think he’ll be all wrinkled and puckered and funny-looking?” Hatch asked, his face a mask of worry.

  “Wouldn’t surprise me about the funny part. You’re pretty damn ugly. However, Sela is beautiful, so I think he’s going to be perfect.”

  “You’re the Godfather, remember that. You have to buy presents. You have to take him to ball games, stand in for me, make sure he gets to church if I can’t take him. You gotta come to all his birthday parties and play Santa at Christmas. You’re gonna be Uncle Bode and my kid is gonna love you like I love you. You gotta buy him his first bike, all the good stuff.”

  “It will be my pleasure,” Bode said, his chest puffing out. “But, just out of curiosity, when I’m doing all that, what are you going to be doing?”

  “Watching and marveling at my own personal miracle. I’m going to be loving him and his mother. Look, look, she’s telling us we can see him. We have to put on the gowns and masks. Tie yours tight, I don’t want my kid getting any germs.”

  “Up yours, Hatch. Will you let me hold him?”

  “Well, sure. You’re his Godfather. You can’t squeeze him, though. New babies are delicate. Look, he’s got a cap on his head. Do you think something’s wrong?”

  “Nah, look, they all have them on. Jesus, he’s gorgeous, Hatch. A real little person. And he looks like you,” Bode said in dismay. “God, will you look at that hair!” he marveled, peeking under the little cap.

  “Hey, little fella, I’m your dad,” Hatch said, tears dribbling down his cheeks. “This guy here, your Uncle Bode, me and him are going to see that you grow up to be the best you can be. Your mama is going to be so proud of you.”

  Little Hatch squealed, an ear-piercing sound that made Bode’s ears ring. “Great lungs.” Bode grinned.

  “Your turn,” Hatch said, holding out his son.

  Bode accepted the small tightly wrapped bundle. His eyes misted. “You are one lucky little boy,” he said huskily. “Look at the character in his face, Hatch.”

  “That’s gas,” the nurse said cheerfully. “Hand him over.”

  In the waiting room Bode announced, “I’m going home, Hatch. Tell Sela I said congratulations and make sure you tell her I said he’s a beautiful little boy. If there’s anything you need, you call me, okay?”

  “I will. Bode, about that house and all . . .”

  “I’ll deal with it, Hatch. You have to stop worrying about me now.”

  “Okay. How about doing us a favor by calling Brie and giving her the good news? I don’t like to ask, but I got a lot to do and take care of right now. If she isn’t home, leave a message.”

  “Okay.”

  It was the first thing he did when he got home. His heart pounded in his chest while he waited to see if the receiver would be picked up or not. When he heard the recorded message he bit down on his lip. “It’s Bode, Brie. Hatch asked me to call and tell you Sela had a nine-pound-four-ounce baby boy whose name is Shunpus Bowdey Littletree. Sela is fine. Hatch is walking on air. I hope you’re well. Take care, Brie.”

  His next call was to Callie. Her voice was hesitant-sounding when she spoke. She seemed to think, to choose her words carefully before she uttered them.

  “Callie, it’s Bode. Sela had her baby this afternoon. It’s a boy, nine pounds four ounces. They’re going to call him Shunpus Bowdey Littletree, but I think he’ll be known as Little Hatch. How are you, Callie?”

  “I’m fine now that you called. You don’t call me often enough.”

  “I’m pretty busy, Callie. Half the time I don’t have enough hours in the day. I have a heavy caseload.”

  “Friends should come first, Bode,” she whined.

  “No, Callie, that’s wrong. I have responsibilities to Hatch and the firm and my clients. It’s wrong of you to think like that.”

  “All right, Bode. Did you see Sela’s baby?”

  “He’s a handsome little guy. Chubby. He’s got a hell of a set of lungs. Wait till you see him.”

  “Does he look like an Indian baby?”

  “Does it make a difference, Callie?”

  “I guess it does.”

  “Like a black baby is different, is that what you mean?”

  “I guess that’s what I mean. You sound angry. Was that wrong for me to say that?”

  “People are people, Callie, and that includes babies. It doesn’t make any difference.”

  “Pearl said it did. She said that.”

  “It was wrong of Mama Pearl to say that. Mama Pearl refused to go forward with the times. She liked the old ways, the old beliefs. She meant well, but that doesn’t make it right.”

  “I miss Pearl,” Callie whimpered.

  “I’m sure you do, but I think what you miss most is the way she used to wait on you twenty-four hours a day. You let her do it, Callie. You could have done more, been nicer. She wore herself out taking care of you when you were in the coma.”

  “You aren’t being very nice to me, Bode. I didn’t tell her to do all those things. Why are you saying all this? Is anyone taking care of the house?”

  “Callie, I’m in New Mexico. I have some work to do so I have to hang up now.”

  “When are you coming to see me?”

  He was supposed to go next week, he even had his ticket. “I’m not sure. Maybe the end of next month if I can get away.”

  “That’s too long, Bode. You need to come now. I miss you. Sela doesn’t call, only once in a while, and Brie never calls. Y’all don’t want to be with me because of what happened. I’m not the same anymore. That’s why, isn’t it?”

  “You’re the same, Callie—just as selfish, just as self-centered as you always were. B
rie has a job; Sela was pregnant and was sick a lot of the time. I have clients, court hearings, trials. You have to take care of yourself. You should want to do things for yourself instead of depending on other people. I’ll call you before I come.”

  “If I’m so much trouble, don’t bother,” Callie said pitifully.

  “Oh no, you aren’t throwing that guilt trip on me, Callie Parker. I have things to do. You probably should do some leg exercises or read a book. A lawbook. Bye, Callie.”

  Bode packed up his briefcase and set out for his office where he worked close to an hour. When he was done he slipped all the letters into overnight mailing envelopes. Bode had established a trust, entitling Arquette and Coletta to live at the house, which upon their deaths would pass to their children and their children’s children. The house could not be sold. As soon as the deed could be recorded, Parker Manor would effectively belong to Arquette and his wife Coletta. After all, it was Pearl’s parents, Arquette’s parents and grandparents who had made Parker Manor what it was, and it was only right that it be given to them for the rest of their days.

  He called Arquette and told him what he’d done. The old man was so flabbergasted he could barely speak. “I just wanted you to know, Arquette, that tomorrow morning FedEx is going to be bringing you an envelope. You take it to town and give it to Rudd Smith. He’ll do what has to be done for you. Pack your duds and move. The trust will pay the taxes, so don’t fret about that. Take everyone, Arquette, your children and grandchildren. How are the angels holding up?”

  “Mighty fine, Bode. Everyone talks about them. Pearl and Lazarus be mighty proud of them there angels.”

  “Take care of yourself, Arquette. Give my regards to Coletta.”

  “I’ll do that, Bode. You be a good man. Pearl was so proud of you she like to bust some days. You be a judge yet, Bode?”

  “No, not yet. Was she proud of Callie, Arquette?” The silence on the other end of the phone went on so long Bode said, “Forget I asked that question. Enjoy the old house, Arquette.”

  Done.

  No turning back now.

  The week before Thanksgiving found Bode in a tizzy of his own making. He looked at his appointment book and saw that he had consultations with Callie’s doctor. He also had a trial date looming ahead of him. All scheduled for Thanksgiving week. He’d ask Hatch to get a postponement for the trial and he’d go east ahead of Sela and Hatch. He’d open up Jake’s apartment and get it ready for Sela and the baby. He could even take off some of the pressure and do all the grocery shopping for Thanksgiving dinner.