Wolf Women (The Madison Wolves Book 10)
Page 30
And if some days I stood in Ember's room and cried for a while, well, no one else needed to know that.
Motherhood?
I lay in Portia's arms, spent. We were both sweaty, and if I strained my ears, I thought perhaps I could hear the echoes of the things I had screamed.
All of them were at Portia's urging, of course.
"Zoe," she said. "I want to talk to you about something."
"I think we already did."
"I want to talk to you about something else."
"This sounds like a serious conversation. Are we dressed for it?" I opened my eyes and lifted my chin to look up at her face. She looked troubled. "How can you have that expression after what we just did?"
"I want us to go see a doctor."
I sat up. "What?" I asked. "Is something wrong? Are you sick?"
"No, honey," she said. She pulled me back to her. "No one is sick. I want us to go see an OB/GYN."
I stiffened for a moment, then relaxed.
"I want children," she said. "Even when Ember was here, we talked about having children."
I didn't answer her at first. "All right," I said finally. "When?"
"There's a pack doctor," she replied. "I made a tentative appointment for next Monday. I already checked with your schedule. We'll be back before you have to meet with the kids."
"What would you have done if I'd said, 'no'?"
"Cancelled it and asked again in a few months."
That was the right answer. I settled in. "All right. Monday."
* * * *
On Monday, I was nervous. If Portia noticed, she didn't say anything. She collected me early and took me to lunch, and we presented ourselves at the clinic promptly at one.
It looked like an ordinary clinic, and the women in the waiting room were human. But the receptionist was a wolf. She addressed Portia as, 'Ms. Fleming' but didn't seem to know what to call me.
We filled out the usual assortment of paperwork, and a few minutes later, far sooner than I expected, a nurse escorted us in back. She was human, but Zoe whispered to me, "Her husband is pack". I nodded understanding. She was one of the human women in the pack.
The nurse did the things nurses do. She weighed and measured both of us. And then she took my vitals along with a variety of samples. She didn't take any from Portia. I wondered about that.
"We know what Ms. Fleming's samples will tell us," the nurse explained. "She is clearly perfectly healthy. You appear to also be healthy, but you understand."
"Right."
"Doctor Cook will be along shortly," she said. "If you can put on the gown..."
I groaned, which I thought amused Portia, but once the nurse had stepped out, I stripped and pulled on the flimsy hospital gown.
"I suppose you aren't subjected to this part, either."
"Nope."
"I think if you're such a perfect specimen, you should carry this child."
She didn't say anything.
"Portia?"
"If you do not want to carry our child," she said, "then I will, if we decide to have one. But I believe this is something you want, and you are only teasing me."
She was probably right.
It was some time before the doctor arrived. I grew more nervous and tried to hide it by teasing Portia. But it turned out she was nervous, too, and she didn't respond to my taunts.
Finally I pressed against her. "Do you think I look hot in this gown? Do you have visions of putting me on the table there-" I gestured. "Perhaps you would strap my feet into the stirrups."
"Zoe!"
I grinned at her. She kissed me quickly. "I love you, Zoe Fleming."
"I love you, too, Portia Fleming."
Together, we sighed.
But I was still nervous.
There was a knock, and then the door opened. A woman in a white lab coat with a stethoscope draped over her neck stepped in. She was clearly a wolf. We both stood, and she closed the door.
"Good afternoon," she said. "Ms. Fleming." She shook Portia's hand. She turned to me. "I am Doctor Cook."
"Call me Zoe, Doctor," I said, offering my hand.
She nodded. "Well, sit, sit," she said, gesturing. "We can talk for a few minutes." She waited until we were seated before taking her own stool. She had my chart with her, and she opened it, skimming it for a minute or two. She had Portia's file, too, but she didn't even look at it. She lifted her eyes towards us.
"The two of you wish to have a baby," she announced.
"We're talking about it," Portia said. "We want to know our options."
"Well, let's talk about your goals first. Let's ask the three most obvious questions. Wolf or human?"
"Wolf," I said immediately.
"Half-wolf," Portia said on top of me.
She and I looked at each other. "We'll discuss both options," Portia said, "and then decide together." And I nodded.
"All right," said the doctor. "Have you decided which of you would carry the child?"
"The risks," I started to say.
"All right," Doctor Cook said. "Setting aside the risks for a moment, what is your preference?"
I looked at Portia, and she nodded to me. "Me," I said. "But-"
"Right," she interrupted. "So, the preference is for Zoe to carry the baby, but if we deem the risks are unacceptable?"
"Then I will carry our child," Portia stated. I reached over and clasped her hand.
"Very good," said the doctor. "And the last question. Have you thought about the process?"
I looked at Portia again, then back to the doctor. "If I carry the baby, I want one of Portia's eggs."
"And if Portia carries this child?"
I looked at Portia and back at the doctor. "Is it safe to speak plainly?"
"Yes," the doctor said. "If you do not shout."
"I want our baby to have fur," I said, "and I would prefer she resemble her mother wolf. There is a family resemblance between Lara, Elisabeth, and Angel, so I presume closely related wolves resemble each other in fur, but I do not know if Lara and Elisabeth look like their parents."
The doctor smiled. "Portia, how do you feel?"
"I-" she paused. "I am torn. Part of me wants to use one of Zoe's eggs, but part of me agrees with Zoe. But I will love this child no matter whose DNA she carries."
"My eggs are old," I said. "All right, they aren't as old as Portia's, but I'm only human." I glanced at Portia then back at the doctor. "Portia's eggs are healthier. And I want my baby to look like Mommy Wolf. But maybe she would look like her father instead, or some cross between them."
"That is why we'll have a half-wolf," Portia said.
"All right," said the doctor. "I believe I have the picture. Well, Zoe, you appear healthy so far, but you know what comes next." She gestured. I stood up and moved to the examination table.
I hated this part of visiting my own OB/GYN.
She was very thorough.
Finally she told me I could get down. I reassembled the annoying gown and returned to my seat next to Portia. The doctor took some notes and turned to us.
"Zoe, you appear very healthy for a human female of your age. I would want copies of all your medical records. One of the forms you signed is a release, so we will acquire them. I will need to review them before making a final recommendation. However, everything looks good. So let us talk tentatively for now, so you may have the full picture. Once I have all your records and we get the lab results back, we'll meet again."
I nodded.
"You are concerned about risks." She talked at length about the risks of childbirth, paying particular attention to the increased risks at my age. "That's all the bad news. Now, here is the good news. Wolves, even half wolves, do not suffer birth defects. There can be birth complications, but I do not allow those."
I smiled at that.
"I am exceedingly careful of my human mothers," she said. "You would be on restrictions from the very beginning, and you would follow them meticulously."
&nbs
p; "She means no drinking, no drugs, no smoking, and no roller coaster rides."
The doctor frowned. "I did not see mention of drugs or smoking."
"She's kidding," I said. "I am as straight laced as they come, Doctor."
The doctor eyed her carefully, but Portia said, "She is. My apologies. I was lightening the mood."
She finally nodded.
"Well, you would be on restrictions. We would take very, very complete care of you. Birth would be in the hospital, and I am very aggressive in performing C-sections with the human mothers of werewolves." She looked at Portia. "If I tell you I am performing a C-section, you will sign whatever I give you to sign."
"I want a natural birth," I declared.
"Frankly," said the doctor, "I don't care. I want a healthy baby and a healthy mother. Do I make myself clear?"
"We'll try for a natural birth?"
"We'll try," she agreed. "But if the little darling is so much as five days late, we'll be scheduling your C-section. If labor is not going the way I want, C-section. If you sneeze in an unsettling fashion-"
"Wait, let me guess. C-section?"
She nodded. "I have a great deal of information to give you. You will read it. Both of you."
"Yes, Doctor." I paused. "How does it work? Where do we get the. Um."
"Ah. We should talk about full wolf and half wolf. Just like a human, the child of two wolves carries the mixed DNA from both parents. The same sort of dominant and recessive genes that you perhaps learned in school applies to werewolves as well."
"Zoe's eyes are blue," I pointed out.
"Yes, and if we use material from a male wolf with all brown eyed ancestors, then the baby will have brown eyes. But simply because the wolf has brown eyes doesn't mean he carries no genes for blue eyes."
I looked at Portia. She didn't have the same scientific background, but she nodded understanding.
"So, a child of two wolves can look quite a lot like one parent or the other or some mix and match in between. You may wonder how this child could be the child of either parent."
"Right," I said.
"However, wolf genes are dominant. Period. If we use wolf genes and human genes, the child's appearance will not be a clone of the mother's, but she will deeply resemble her mother."
I turned to Portia and smiled, but then looked back to the doctor. "What about grandchildren? If our child were to mate with a human, now the new baby is three quarters human, and has a fifty percent chance of any particular gene pair of both being human."
"It would seem like that," she said. "But it doesn't seem to work that way. We don't have enough study to understand completely. It may be that if you proceed down that path several generations, you might find the human genes begin to overwhelm the wolf genes. It seems like it should happen with the first grandchild, but we don't have any evidence of that." She shrugged. "No one is spending time studying it to that depth. That will change when we get a few people doing in depth study of the wolf genome, but that is risky research right now."
I turned to Portia. "Half wolf and your eggs," I said. "That's best."
She nodded, then pulled my hand to her lips and kissed it.
We had more questions. We talked about the process further, and then we ran out of questions.
"Well then," said the doctor. "The nurse will have a fork truck full of information for you to read. Go home, go through the material, talk, and in a few days, once I've had a chance to go over your full records, Zoe, we'll talk again."
* * * *
We read the material, staying up late the next three nights to discuss it together. Portia was excited, but I was troubled.
I wanted to do this. I wanted to do this for Portia, for me, for us. I wanted to carry her baby. I wanted this.
But it felt like we were trying to replace Ember.
It was too soon.
Finally, I said that to Portia. Her face fell. I suddenly felt like a heel. But she nodded. "You're right," she said. She paused. "If Ember called tomorrow, I don't think I'd want to tell her you were pregnant."
"Maybe in the spring," I said. "I don't know. It might still feel like it's too soon. I'm sorry, Portia. If-" I paused. "If I can't carry the baby, how many years before it's too late for you?"
"Ten, maybe fifteen," she said. "We have time, honey. It's all right."
I let her make gentle love to me, but we were both disappointed, and it felt like it was my fault.
Again.
Phone Call
December came, and then the new year. It was a bitter, cold winter, and I spent most of it hiding inside. The wolves didn't seem to care that it was so cold, but I did.
March arrived, still cold and blustery.
Portia and I didn't talk about children. I wasn't ready. I didn't know when I would be ready.
It was the second Tuesday in March, shortly before dinner, when my phone rang. I expected to see Portia calling to tell me she was running late, or ask me what the dinner plans were, or invite me to dress up because she was taking me out. Instead, it showed a different name.
Ember.
I snatched up the phone, nearly dropping it, then finally got it to answer. "Honey!" I said into the phone. "How are you?" I began crying. "Portia and I miss you terribly. Everyone misses you."
"It's not Ember," said the woman. "This is Crystal Mann. I presume this is Zoe Fleming."
I grew cold. I grew deeply cold. This was the woman who had taken my baby!
"It is," I said. "How is Ember?"
"She's a little bitch is how she is!" Crystal said. "Whatever did you teach her? What the hell is wrong with werewolves? She's a complete slob; her room is a mess, and she leaves her shit everywhere. She won't raise a finger around the house, and she's getting into trouble at school. She beat up a boy and was suspended for three days for it. She has no manners and won't do a thing that I tell her to do. And she never stops eating! I thought sure, she's a teenager, my grocery bill would go up. But it didn't just go up; it went through the fucking ceiling."
I began to smile, a cold, dark smile.
"But to top it all off, my girl, the girl who was so sweet, when I got home from work tonight, she was drinking one of my cans of beer. I tried to take it away from her, but she growled at me. She growled at me like a rabid animal! What the hell have you been teaching her up there?"
She paused, and I thought it was to give me a chance to speak, but then she went on. "And then there's fur everywhere! It's like living with a dog. I hate dogs. They shed on everything. She's doing it on purpose! She keeps giving me this shit about how it starts to hurt if she doesn't shift. I tried forbidding it, but she waits until my back is turned and does it anyway. And then last week, I caught her in the back yard, marking the bushes. Marking the bushes! Like an animal!"
"Where is she now?"
"Hell if I know," she said. "She stormed off."
"Well, Crystal," I said, "I'm not entirely sure why you're calling me. She never did any of those things around here. Did you see her room? It was spotless. The house was spotless, too. We have teenagers in here all the time, and they're all deeply respectful."
"Well she's a little bitch, and I want her gone!"
"I can be there tomorrow to get her," I said calmly. "Just tell me where."
"Oh, no," she said. "That bitch has eaten me out of house and home. You want her, you can pay for her."
"How much?"
"Ten grand. Cash."
"Fine," I said. "Ten grand. But for ten grand, you are signing her over to me. Portia and I are adopting her, and you will sign whatever our lawyer gives you to sign."
"Perfect," Crystal said.
She gave me the number I could reach her at, and I told her I'd call her back in an hour.
As soon as we hung up, I called Michaela. She answered on the second ring.
"Alpha," I said immediately. "I need your help. We need to go save my daughter. Right now."
Part Four
One Year Later
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Epilogue
"Oh, Portia," I said. "She's beautiful! She has your eyes, and your nose."
Portia moved onto the bed, cuddling against me.
And then I looked around. "You! Get over here!"
The girl approached. Over the mask, her eyes were wide. I turned the baby so she was facing outward.
"Fiona," I said. "Fiona Grace Fleming, this is Ember Louise Fleming. She is your big sister. The two of you are to be the best of friends."
Author's Note
While writing Wolf Women, I wasn't sure whether I should include the ransom night scenes. You already saw Michaela's ransom night, and I worried this was more of the same.
But I needed to write it. I needed to see for myself Zoe's strength. I needed to see this for the reasons that Ember outlined. Zoe saw herself as "only a human", but the wolves saw more than that. They saw strength in her they could admire.
Zoe needed to see that. More importantly, I did.
I expressed my concerns to one of my readers. She said something very simple. She told me to write what I want. Doing so has worked well in the past.
This is advice I get over and over. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I worry about what you, the readers want.
This time, I took her advice.
Robin Roseau
November, 2014
About the Author
A writer by avocation, Robin has a renaissance interest in many areas. A bit of a gypsy, Robin has called a few places home and has traveled widely. A love of the outdoors, animals in general and experimenting with world cuisines, Robin and partner share their home with a menagerie of pets and guests, although sometimes it is difficult to discern who is whom.
Robin can be reached via email as robin.roseau@gmail.com. Robin's web site is http://www.robin-roseau.com.
Works by Robin Roseau
The Madison Wolves Series
Fox Run
Fox Play
Fox Mate
Fox Afield
Fox Revenge
Fox Dish
Fox Lost