Jagger (Heaven Hill Shorts Book 5)
Page 1
Jagger
Heaven Hill Shorts #5
Laramie Briscoe
Contents
Also By Laramie Briscoe
New Release Alerts
Author’s Note
Blurb
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Reviews
Connect With Laramie
Royal Rebel
Copyright © 2019 Laramie Briscoe
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, distributed, stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without express permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or any events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and storylines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.
Cover: Laramie Briscoe
Cover Photography: Carian Cole
Formatting: Laramie Briscoe
Proofreading: Danielle Wentworth
Also By Laramie Briscoe
The Haldonia Monarchy
Royal Rebel
Heaven Hill Series
Meant To Be
Out of Darkness
Losing Control
Worth The Battle
Dirty Little Secret
Second Chance Love
Rough Patch
Beginning of Forever
Home Free
Shield My Heart
A Heaven Hill Christmas
Heaven Hill Next Generation
Hurricane
Wild
Heaven Hill Shorts
Caelin
Christine
Justice
Harley
Jagger
Charity
Liam
Drew
Dalton
Mandy
Rockin’ Country Series
Only The Beginning
One Day at A Time
The Price of Love
Full Circle
Hard To Love
Reaper’s Girl
The Moonshine Task Force Series
Renegade
Tank
Havoc
Ace
Menace
Cruise
Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team
Ransom
Suppression
Enigma
The MVP Duet
On the DL
MVP
Stand Alones
Sketch
Sass
Trick
Room 143
New Release Alerts
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Author’s Note
Thank you so much for reading my books!
Thank you so much for following this family from Meant To Be until now, and thank you for being such a support in my life!
- Laramie
Blurb
A Sinner Who Will Never Be A Saint
Jagger Stone has lived his life by the rules. The rules he's set forth for himself based on the word he believes.
Forgiveness is taught and expected.
But faced with Travis' deception, Jagger is forced to question his beliefs and his place inside the Heaven Hill MC.
Chapter One
Jagger
"You've got to let this go," B says as she lays next to me in our bed.
"I can't."
"You have to, J, it wasn't your call to make."
As much as it hurts, I know she's right. It wasn't my call to make. Try as I might, I can't help but blame. "I know."
"But do you? You've not been yourself in the past two months."
God, it's only been two months?
Two months since Caelin shot Travis, my sister became a widow, and I lost a brother. But those aren't the things everyone wants to hear. They want to talk about what a crazy fucker he was to kidnap Justice and look; I get it. I'm not saying he was perfect. None of us are, but everybody acts like it's not okay to mourn him, and I'm mourning him hard.
Regardless of the man he turned out to be, I still love the brother he was.
"I can't turn it on and off, babe," I do my best to explain to her. "That's just not who I am," I struggle with my words. "My faith won't allow me to do that. If we can condemn him, there's no reason we can't fold our hands too."
Even in the dark, I can see her disapproval, and if I couldn't see it, I can damn well feel it. I've been getting criticism from all sides since it went down, and tonight I'm just tired of it.
Getting up, I grab the top blanket.
"Where are you going?" B sits up.
For one of the first times in my life, I'm without words. "I just need to be by myself for a while, and I could do without the judgment."
"I'm not judging you, Jagger. You're reading too far into what's going on."
"The fuck I am, B. It's coming off you in waves."
"And the condescending attitude is coming off you in waves. You can't expect everyone to feel the way you do."
"And you can't expect it either. So, where does that leave us?" I hold my arms out to my sides. Finally, I let the emotion out, the one I've felt gnawing at my gut for weeks. "Where, babe? Cause right now, I feel like I've not only lost my family unit but my best friend too."
"Jagger!"
Those words are said to my back, but right now? Right now I just don't want to hear anything else. I want the silence and loneliness of our guest bedroom. At least there I don't have to watch what I say, what I do, and worry about offending someone. There, I can just be myself.
Even if that person isn't who everyone else thinks he should be.
"You look tired," I glance up, meeting my sister's eyes.
"I am," I reach in, giving her a big hug. "Didn't expect to see you here," I gesture at Harper's bakery. I don't come here often, but I needed coffee this morning, and B didn't brew it the way she usually does. A passive-aggressive stance to my leaving the bedroom last night, no doubt.
"Needed a cinnamon roll," she points to the case with the pastries in it. "What are you doing here?"
"Need coffee," I rock back on the heels of my boots, waiting for my turn in line.
"Your coffee maker on the fritz?"
"Something like that."
"Jagger I hate that you two are fighting because of me."
Here we fucking go. If I'm not hearing it from one woman in my life, I hear it from the other. "It's not about you," I say harsher than I mean.
She flinches, stepping back slightly.
"Christy," I sigh. "I didn't mean it like that.
"I know you didn't."
But I can see it. The irritation in her eyes. The disbelief.
"I'm just so tired of everyone telling me what I should feel, what I should do. Christy, there wasn't even a funeral. How disrespectful is that? I'm at war with the person I should be, and the person I am. How do I make them agree?"
She shakes her head. "Jagger I'm the last person you should be askin' because it's taking all I h
ave to put one foot in front of the other. It's not up to me to tell you how to grieve."
"But you'll tell everybody else how I'm supposed to grieve, right?" Now I'm pissed, because her shit-talking got back to me. "I heard what you said about me not standing up for you, when you didn't want to have the funeral. Regardless of what happened in his last months, Travis was a member of Heaven Hill. He was your husband, he was my brother, and he had people who loved him."
"The him he was before," she hisses out in a whisper as she points at me. "The person he was before, Jagger. Not the person he turned into."
"You can't stand there and tell me if he'd gotten help you would have turned your back on him. You can't. Why didn't you let me try to help him?"
"Don't judge my choices, John Edward."
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
"Don't quote the Bible to me either. I had enough of that in our childhood."
My stomach drops as I hear what she's not saying. She's comparing me to our parents. "Ya know what? I pray for you every day, just like I pray for him. Sinners and Saints - they're all interchangeable - one second out of one day can turn you from one to the other. That doesn't mean you don't deserve salvation and love. He deserves to be remembered, Christy, and not just for the unspeakable shit he did, but for the good he did. There was a lot of good, and I just can't set that aside. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it, but I can't live with myself knowing I haven't given it my all to redeem him in everyone's eyes."
"Sometimes there's no redemption, Jagger. When are you gonna see that?"
I shake my head. "There's always redemption. All that matters is we look for it. Harper," I hitch my chin at her from where I stand. "I'll pay for this coffee tomorrow?"
She nods, waving me on with a smile.
I don't even say goodbye to Christy because I don't trust myself to be cordial. I storm out of the bakery, get on my bike, and shoot off a text to let them know I'm not coming in today. All I need is the wind, the open road, and a little time to myself.
To come to grips with everything.
To figure out why this happened the way it did.
To prove to myself that I wasn't entirely wrong about the man I called my brother, because I refuse to believe I didn't see the evil that was supposedly so close to the surface. As someone who lived a childhood full of darkness, I would have known.
Wouldn't I?
I would have known.
Chapter Two
Jagger
If this were a typical day, I would go to the shop, but nothing has been normal since Travis died. Not the shop, not the club, and definitely not my life. I guess we're all trying to find our new normal, whatever the fuck that may be.
Nobody's been willing to talk about it. It's been two months since Travis died, and we haven't had a conversation about it. Which isn't surprising, I guess. But fuck, I want people to see my side of the story. Nobody wants to hear that though; everyone wants to pretend like they're perfect.
None of us are, though, and it's time we admit it.
Instead of going into work, I head for the clubhouse.
At one time, this place was not only my home, but the spot where I would go to feel safe, to feel love. Can't say I'm feeling any of that these days.
Pulling into the gravel lot, I see a few bikes parked. One, in particular, makes me grit my teeth, but today's the day. I'll face what's pissing me off head-on. The ignoring it and hoping it goes away isn't doing shit.
"Hey Jagger," Denise grins as I walk inside.
She hasn't changed much from that first day we saw her here. Age has barely touched her, it seems, compared to the rest of us.
"Hey," I smile back at her. "What's going on?"
"Fixing these youngun's some breakfast."
I take note of whose at the table, something I hadn't done before. Remy, Wild, and Caelin take spaces around the table.
"You're welcome to join us," Wild scoots over, making a spot for me.
I haven't hung out with these guys as much as I probably should. So much shit going on in my head. I'm not a good role model these days.
"Thanks," I take a seat, the old leather of my cut creaking. I can still remember the day I got my cut.
Travis was the one to give it to me.
It's more accurate than I ever expected it to be. The whole distance makes the heart grow fonder. The longer he's been gone, the more I choose to forgive then bad stuff and remember him as the good guy he'd been.
"Lot of food," I nod to the plates Denise brings to the table.
"We worked out this morning," Caelin takes a massive bite of egg. "A hard workout too. I find I'm getting soft sitting in front of that damn bank of cameras."
It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him had he not killed another human being; he wouldn't have the job. But that's not fair either. He made a hard choice.
One I'm not sure I could've made.
"Really? What are y'all doing out there?"
"Running," Wild answers between bites.
"Boxing," Caelin grins.
"Ab work," Remy lifts his shirt up.
"So, you're doing it all?"
"I mean, how are we going to keep our ladies happy if we're not?" Remy shrugs. "I'm a newlywed, so I gotta keep it tight."
My mind goes back to B, who hasn't been talking to me much lately. She's definitely not looking to get naked with me. "I remember those days," I take a drink of my coffee.
"Look like you're still living them," Wild chews thoughtfully. "I mean, you're not getting soft at all."
I'm flattered he thinks so. "About fifteen pounds higher than I'd like to be."
"You should work out with us," Caelin offers.
"Don't know about that."
Truthfully, I'm worried I might hurt this kid, even though I'm not what most would call a violent man. The need to have retribution for my friend, my family is eating at me.
"Yeah!" Remy's eyes widen. "Why don't you come work out with us? Tyler used to, but he stopped a few months ago when he pulled his hamstring."
"He didn't just pull his hamstring. He tore that fucker. He's still recovering from the surgery," Caelin interrupts, probably not wanting anyone to think any less of his Dad.
"I'll think about it."
Caelin's eyes meet mine, and it's like looking at his Dad. I wonder if he knows the thoughts I've been having. Has he noticed I haven't been alone with him since what happened to Travis? I'm not exactly friendly to him. I'm not rude, but there's something inside of me that wants to make him uncomfortable.
"You should do it."
A part of me feels like he's laying down a challenge. "Maybe I will."
"We meet at five am," Remy, ever so helpful mentions.
When a mug I would recognize anywhere slams down on the table, there's a lull in the conversation.
"Seriously?" I raise an eyebrow at Tyler. "You know I don't even like to be in the same room with that thing."
"Is it really cursed?" Wild asks.
"Yes!" I answer.
"No!" Everyone else answers.
"Don't listen to them," I eye the mug. "I lived with bad luck from that thing for longer than I can remember. I don't even know when it finally left me, but it's definitely cursed."
"It's only cursed if you think it's cursed," Tyler laughs.
"Will you ever give a straight answer?" I glare at him.
It's not normal for me to be this short with him, or really with anybody, but I've had it. The three other guys quickly finish their food and make a getaway. Can't say I blame them.
Tyler and I stare at each other. This is the guy I've called brother for years, but even now, I can't tell what he's thinking. He takes a bit of a piece of toast, chewing slowly before taking a drink out of his mug.
"I got one question for you Jagger."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"What's got you so pissed off at my son?"
He's never been one to beat around the bush, but this is blunt, even for him. For some reason, it pisses me off.
"Maybe the fact he murdered my brother-in-law and instead of facing the consequences for his actions, he's been pranced around here like a hero."
There.
The words I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to say. I've said.
They're out in the universe now, and whatever happens will be my fault. I'll face my consequences, and I'll deal with it.
"If that's what you really think is going on around here, Jagger, you need to talk to Caelin. Clear the air, and don't assume shit you know nothing about."
"Oh I know plenty, I know everyone deserves a second chance."
"Then what about the man who threatened Bianca, did he? Did he deserve a second chance? I'm having trouble remembering if he actually got one or not."
"I like to think the Jagger today would have given him a chance."
"But you can't expect the Caelin of today not to be the Jagger of twenty years ago. It doesn't work that way. Forgiveness comes with age, and experiences. We've been there, Jagger. He hasn't."
"I know," I sigh. Anger gets none of us anywhere, except going around in this big fucking circle that never seems to end.
Tyler gets up. "Talk to him. The two of you are a lot more alike than you think."
Chapter Three
Jagger