Gods & Monsters si-3
Page 31
“Yeah,” Sylvie said. “Once a research student, always a research student, I guess. You see any boxes?”
“Paper bags,” Alex said, finding a stack of them. She opened the first one, started layering file folders in. Sylvie flipped open Cachita’s computer and a password prompt greeted her.
Tepeyollotl, she typed. The password was accepted. Sylvie wasn’t surprised. Tepeyollotl had been the biggest event in Cachita’s life as well as her biggest secret.
There was a journal. Sylvie opened it, then shut it down before her eyes could take in any of the words. Not hers to read.
“So, you going to tell me what’s got you so shaken?” Alex said.
“Dead friend not enough? Tepeyollotl obliterated her.”
“Don’t try that,” Alex said. “You didn’t know her. You might have liked her, but she wasn’t your friend. Don’t use her death to stave me off. It’s disrespectful.”
“Ouch,” Sylvie said.
Alex shifted a shoulder but didn’t back down. Just waited.
“The ISI thinks I’m a monster,” Sylvie said. “They’ve lumped me in with sorcerers and the like.”
“Yeah, you said.”
Sylvie swallowed. “That’s not the confession part. This is. I’m not sure they’re wrong, Alex. I’m not sure I’m human standard any longer. The new Lilith.”
“I hate to break it to you, Syl, but a little voice in your head makes you crazy, not inhuman.”
“Thanks,” Sylvie said. “I wasn’t talking about that. The voice is actually calming down. Being helpful. I’m talking about Azpiazu sucking up a god’s power. He was able to contain it.”
“He was immortal. Barely human at all.”
“I was able to contain it. Hell, I was able to use it. For one moment, Alex. For one moment, I was teetering on being a god.” The words were ragged in her throat, hard to say, hard to admit. That lingering repulsion still echoed in her bones.
Alex said nothing at all, only licked her lips and sat down on the windowsill, peeling old stucco away with shaking fingers.
“I should have burned to ash,” Sylvie said. “And the pins should have done more damage. And Odalys . . . The ghost she sicced on me couldn’t devour my soul.”
“So, you’re saying you think that you could maybe be . . .” Eventually Alex ran out of qualifiers and came at it from a new angle. “Lilith was immortal.”
“She was,” Sylvie said.
“And you?”
Sylvie shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable in her skin, edgy, as if it had changed sometime ago, and she was only now noticing. “I don’t know. But I’d better find out what being the new Lilith means before the ISI does.”
Alex leaned her head back against the paper-covered glass. “Okay, I’m rethinking the running plan.”
“No,” Sylvie said. “You were right. Running only encourages things to chase you. I’ve fought gods, Alex. I’m not scared of the ISI.”
“No,” Alex said. “You’re scared of yourself.”
“Maybe,” Sylvie admitted. “But think about it this way. If I scare myself, imagine what I do to the ISI. If they’re foolish enough to want a fight, I’ll give it to them.”
Ace Books by Lyn Benedict
SINS & SHADOWS
GHOSTS & ECHOES
GODS & MONSTERS
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