“That’s great, babe.” Brandon tilted his head and touched his hand to his chest. “I’m so happy for you.”
Would Seth be mad if Logan punched the condescending prick? Logan wished he was a better actor. He couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t telling Brandon, his hipster beard, and tiny dick where they could go.
But it got easier when Seth exhaled and slipped his arm around Logan’s waist. Maybe it should have felt weird, but it was reassuring. They were faking this together.
Seth said, “I’m happy for us too,” his voice calmer.
Act like Seth’s your boyfriend!
Logan tried to think of something cheesy and in-love sounding. He went with “Me, three,” and leaned close and pressed a slow kiss to Seth’s smooth cheek, just the hint of five o’clock shadow under his lips.
He made it a lingering kiss—a kiss promising more once they were alone. A tremor vibrated through Seth, and he turned his head to meet Logan’s gaze.
His blue eyes were dark, and he licked his lips. Logan looked down at the movement and then back into Seth’s eyes, a bolt of lust shooting to his balls and waking up his dick.
Whoa.
The woman laughed awkwardly. “Well, I guess we should leave you lovebirds to it!”
Tearing his eyes away from Seth’s, Logan looked at her like she was incredibly boring, which she probably was. “I guess you should.” He didn’t even glance at the others as he strode forward with Seth at his side, forcing them to move out of the way or be stomped on by his combat boots.
He could feel them watching—the back of his neck practically sizzled with it—and he knew they were whispering even though he and Seth were too far away now to hear. It was in the air, swirling with the snow.
Seth matched his strides, arm snug around Logan’s waist. “Wow.”
“Oh, look, pookie—that kind of chair would be perfect for our new table,” Logan said, stopping in front of a furniture shop’s window. He added under his breath, “Smile and play along, but don’t look back, whatever you do.”
“That is a great chair!” Seth exclaimed, pointing at it. He whispered, “You think they’re still watching?”
“You bet your ass they’re watching.” He needed to do something else a boyfriend would do, so he brushed some fresh snow from Seth’s dark hair. He leaned in and murmured, “Think I should grab your ass?”
Seth swallowed so hard Logan could hear it. “Okay.”
Slowly, Logan ran a gloved hand down Seth’s straight back, keeping their faces close as if they were nuzzling. Seth’s jacket was one of those pea coats, and Logan stroked his nice, round ass and slipped up under the hem of his coat, gripping the firm flesh.
He whispered in Seth’s ear, “Imagine I’m saying something really dirty.”
Seth made a sharp little sound that had to be a laugh. He reached around Logan, grabbing his shoulders before stroking one hand over Logan’s head. He teased the back of Logan’s neck and ran his blunt fingernails over the short scrub of Logan’s hair at the base of his skull, sending sparks through Logan and getting his dick interested again.
With guys it was always fast and rough—this was different. Logan figured it was definitely boyfriend-like. He had to hold up his end of the deal, so he’d do what it took.
Besides, he liked Seth, and that ex was a fucking idiot for dumping him for the thick-neck who probably also had a tiny dick thanks to steroids. Seth deserved a hell of a lot better from where Logan was standing, and it was satisfying showing Brandon that Seth didn’t miss him one little bit.
Then he wondered if Seth did miss him. “Do you wish he hadn’t left you?” he asked before he could tell himself to mind his own damn business.
Seth was toying with the ends of Logan’s hair, sending nice little shivers through Logan. He stopped, resting his bare hand on the back of Logan’s neck, warm and heavy.
“You know what? No.” A smile lifted his mouth, his lips wide. He laughed like he couldn’t believe it. “Seeing him now made me realize how much I don’t miss him. Not that we didn’t have good times over the years. We did—a lot of good times.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Laughing, Seth said, “We did. But it seems so long ago. Seeing him now, it was the strangest thing. I’ve looked him up on Facebook and found pictures, but it’s been over a year since I saw him in person. And he’s so familiar to me—aside from that ridiculous beard. I knew him so well. So…intimately. I think I recognized his body before his face. But now he’s someone different. I wouldn’t want him back. I don’t.”
“Good. He’s a shit-brick.” Logan realized his hand was still resting on Seth’s ass, but he didn’t move it, just pressed firmly.
Seth was breathy as he asked, “Think they’re still watching?”
“Maybe. Let’s go a bit longer to make sure.” If they were going to do a job, they should do it right. He massaged Seth’s ass and nipped at his jaw, scraping with his teeth and grinning at Seth’s gasp.
“Okay, I’m going to look,” Seth murmured, his breath hot across Logan’s mouth. A moment later, he sighed and eased away. Logan dropped his hand, and Seth did the same.
“All clear,” Seth said. He squinted at the store window. “You know, that chair really is great. Let’s see how many they have.”
Logan shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly not sure what to do with them. “Sure.”
As Seth opened the door, a bell tingled. He glanced back at Logan. “Thanks for all that, by the way.” He laughed, his cheeks going red. “You were very convincing.”
“Sure,” Logan repeated, feeling his own face go hot. “Anytime.”
Chapter Eight
“Imagine I’m saying something really dirty.”
Although Seth’s imagination when it came to sex was admittedly lacking, that hot gust of a whisper echoed through his head endlessly the next day, accompanied by wisps of thrilling, forbidden words. Like suck and even fuck. Or co—
“I haven’t seen Logan smile so much in a long time.”
Seth jumped so violently at Jenna’s words that his knees rattled the keyboard tray. She laughed and said, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt your deep thoughts.”
He spun in his chair. “My thoughts aren’t deep!” He winced at how strange he was being. “I mean—yeah. Um, I was miles away.” Thinking dirty thoughts that are probably pathetically tame by most people’s standards. “What did you say?”
“Oh, that Logan was smiling for once on the weekend.” She kept her voice low, rolling closer on her chair.
Seth’s heart skipped, thinking of Logan’s grin when he’d called Seth “pookie.” “Oh, well… That’s nice.”
“I mean, obviously his problems aren’t magically fixed, but he’s been so beat down. It’s a relief to know he’ll have a few weeks with you. I think you’ll be a good influence. You handle Connor really well.”
“Has that relationship always been so…fraught?”
She crossed her legs, her foot swinging as she made a face, the low pump hanging off her foot. “Oh yeah. From day one, it was snippy comments and butting heads. Connor was deeply suspicious of Logan, and I can’t say I blame him considering how quickly Logan and Veronica got married. I mean, Logan was still in the hospital. He hadn’t even met Connor. I can imagine that was a shock for a kid.”
“A heck of a shock.”
Jenna smiled briefly. “A heck indeed. And when Veronica brought Logan home with her, it went to hell fast. They really seemed to love each other, and he needed her so much. I think she needed to be needed. If that makes any sense? But once he healed, that connection faded. It was like, the Florence Nightingale syndrome or something. Nurses and patients falling for each other.” She laughed. “I don’t think that’s what it’s called. I need to apply more coffee.”
Seth smiled. “I understand what you’re saying.” He passed her his ridiculous cat mug, and she finished the last few gulps of dark roast with a grateful smile.
“Anyway. He just seemed a bit unclenched this weekend. He’s been wound tight for a long time. And you’re wound pretty freaking tight yourself, if we’re being honest.”
He could only laugh. “Which apparently we are. Yes, I’m wound tight. I can’t deny it.”
Jenna tilted her head. “You’re both uptight in different ways, but maybe together you can loosen each other up.” She laughed, slapping a hand to her forehead and whispering, “Oh my god, listen to me! I’m talking like you two are really a couple and this isn’t a fake relationship.”
Seth laughed, then blurted, “We ran into Brandon and Peter yesterday.”
She sat up comically straight, eyes wide. “What? How? Where?”
“Saratoga Springs. We were shopping for a table and chairs.”
Jenna’s eyebrows sailed north. “Okay, I need a minute to process the idea of my brother…antiquing.”
“He was a good sport. In more ways than one.”
After a pause, Jenna poked Seth’s arm. “What happened? Tell me already.”
Seth gave her a quick version of events. “So he pretended to be my boyfriend, and we walked off like… Like Brandon and Peter and the others didn’t matter at all.”
“Yes!” She pumped her fist and whispered, “I love it.”
He had to grin. “It felt pretty good.” So did your brother’s hand on my butt. Seth imagined he could still feel the pressure of Logan’s palm and fingers, firm against the swell of his backside.
She asked, “Hey, did Dale set up the dinner?”
“Oh. Let me check.” Seth typically checked his work email at home in evenings and over the weekends in case of anything urgent, but realized he hadn’t.
His brain helpfully supplied a collage of images of what he’d been doing instead—seeing Brandon and Peter, Logan’s hot breath and scruff against his face, his hand on Seth’s rear…
“Imagine I’m saying something really dirty.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yep!” Seth could feel Jenna’s gaze on him, his skin prickling as he clicked the mouse too hard to open his email. There it was:
Sender: Gupta, Dale Subject: Dinner with Angela Barker
Seth double-clicked and read the short message. To Jenna, he quietly said, “Thursday night, seven p.m.”
She scanned the email, leaning in close, smelling like apples and Tide. “Okay. This works.”
He took a deep breath. “Dinner Thursday. Then we leave Friday after work for the retreat.”
Jenna said, “It is blowing my mind to think of Logan…canoodling with you.”
“Well, we are in a committed fake relationship,” he murmured. “He did a great job. I admit I was surprised.” He quickly added, “Not that I thought Logan was a homophobe or anything. He just comes across very macho, I guess.”
“Yeah, between the Marines and the railroad, he’s not used to being in touch with his feelings or anything. Not that all gay men are in touch with their feelings.” She eyed him speculatively. “Speaking of which, I’d expect you to be moping today, and probably pining after seeing Brandon. Ruminating at the very least.”
Huh. She was right. “How do you know I’m not?”
“Not what?” Matt’s shaggy head appeared over the partition between their pods. “What are you whispering about?” He mouthed, “Caper?”
Jenna nodded and waved him over impatiently. In his usual sneakers and dark jeans, Matt came around and wheeled over one of the desk chairs the interns had used, spinning it to sit backwards and lean his forearms on the top of the backrest. Under his suit jacket, his graphic T-shirt had the image of a guitar and the name of a band Seth had never heard of.
After Jenna filled him in, Matt grinned. “Oh, man. How much do I love that you got to rub your hot new boyfriend in that douchenozzle’s face?”
“Fake boyfriend,” Seth whispered. “Well, fake fiancé, actually.”
“Whatever. Douchenozzle doesn’t have to know that.” Matt’s brow furrowed. “But yeah, I’m shocked you’re not brooding about the whole thing.”
“Again, how do you know I’m not?”
“No fidgeting,” Jenna said. “It’s your brooding-about-Brandon tell. You fidget endlessly, like you want to climb out of your skin.”
Matt said, “I can hear your chair when you do it. Squeak, creak, squeak.”
“Oh.” Seth was taken aback. He shifted then, recrossing his legs, feeling dangerously exposed. His chair creak-squeeeeeaked. He froze. “Uh. Guilty as charged, it seems.”
“Oh, don’t forget decorations for your house!” Jenna said. “Angela loves the holidays.”
Ugh. “Oh. Right. I’ll have to buy some stuff.” It was silly to dread decorating. “It’s not really my thing.”
Matt’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously? Huh. I thought you’d be all about hanging stockings by the chimney with care and visions of sugarplums.”
I don’t deserve Christmas.
The thought filled his mind, but fortunately was blocked before it could reach his tongue. The swirl of memories of Christmases past made him ache—his family’s stockings hanging from the mantel cluttered with his mom’s ugly Christmas figurines and nativity scene, the paint chipped on the three wise men.
Jenna said, “I’ll arrange a tree and talk to Logan about what to get. Our cousin manages a tree lot, so he’ll give us a great deal.”
“Uh, okay.” Seth’s head was spinning. He was going to have a real Christmas tree. He’d only ever known his parents’ artificial one, which had become rather threadbare the last time he saw it. Years ago, of course. Surely they had a replacement by now. There were probably lots of things different at home now.
Home.
“Ho-ho-ho!” Tara from accounting appeared at the entrance to the pod, her Santa hat slipping down over her forehead. She shoved it up, the bell on the end making a faint ding. “Have you contributed to the food bank collection? We want it to be the biggest donation ever this year! Angela will be in on Friday when the volunteers come to collect.”
They all agreed to bring in more cans of tuna and jars of peanut butter, guilt tugging at Seth that he actually hadn’t contributed at all yet. He’d been meaning to stop by the grocery store and stock up, but admittedly had wished he could just write a check or give cash instead.
Matt returned to his pod, and Jenna wheeled back to her desk. Seth tapped his keyboard and scanned a few new emails—this time checking to see what Becky had deemed URGENT! It was something about printer toner.
As Seth scanned another email, his gaze drifted to the framed photo of Logan and Connor on his desk. Logan really was handsome and…masculine. He remembered the sensation of Logan’s hand on his butt, then imagined Logan in his boxer briefs, sprawled on the couch with the blankets shoved down…
Clicking his mouse, Seth cleared this throat. He realized Jenna was right—he really wasn’t brooding over Brandon. Running into Brandon and Peter would have sent him into a tailspin in the past, yet he’d barely thought of them at all. Instead, his mind had been occupied with Logan, and that secret whisper in Seth’s ear.
As Seth pulled into the driveway in the early darkness, his heart skipped to see Logan up on a ladder in front of the house. The jolt wasn’t specifically because he was on a ladder, but just that he was there, period.
Seth eyed the already-familiar shape of his broad shoulders in the leather jacket, the way his jeans clung to his rear, on display as Logan reached up to attach a section of Christmas lights to the edge of the slanted roof.
There was no denying the flutter in Seth’s belly or the excitement that spun through him. He grinned to himself as he parked on the driveway and turned off the engine. So maybe he had a little crush. It was a heck of a lot better than mooning over Brandon. Maybe a little crush was exactly what he needed to move on.
Seth left the bags of canned goods in the back of the SUV and juggled the other cloth bags while he locked the car with a chirp. On the walkway, he called
up, “Looking great!” His face went hot even as his breath clouded in the frigid air. Should he clarify that he meant the lights? Although the lights weren’t even on yet, it was just a dark string of bulbs. Why had he said that?
“Should be okay,” Logan replied. He looked down and gave Seth a pleased little smile that softened his face, and despite his best efforts, Seth’s heart foolishly swelled.
As Logan strung another few feet, stretching precariously to his right, Seth inhaled sharply. “Be careful up there!” He dropped the bags on the shoveled walk and held the ladder.
Grunting, Logan climbed back down before shifting the ladder over. “It’s fine. One more section to go.” He frowned down at the groceries. “Those are getting wet.”
“Right! I’ll just…” Seth grabbed the handles and carried the bags inside, stamping his feet and taking off his boots, the door still open.
A colorful wreath made of glittery ornaments now hung on the front door, a mix of traditional holiday colors as well as pinks and purples. He’d admired similar wreaths while driving through the neighborhood, and it gave him a pulse of pleasure to have his own.
But this is just for Angela. For show. It’s not really mine.
Seth leaned outside. “The wreath is gorgeous.”
“Yeah? Jenna said to get an ornament wreath, and that one looked good.”
“It’s perfect.” It’s not really mine. This is all pretend. I don’t get to have this.
“Can you flip the switch?” Logan called down.
Seth turned on the switch by the front door and leaned out. Multicolored lights adorned the lines of the roof, fat snowflakes drifting down to make it even more perfect. “It really does look great!”
Logan climbed down the ladder and stood back on the edge of the snow-covered lawn, craning his neck. He nodded. “This works.”
“You must be freezing! Come inside. I’ll make dinner. Well, I’ll nuke the rotisserie chicken and cheesy mashed potatoes I grabbed from the ready-made section.”
Logan grinned. “I’ll just put away the ladder and shit.”
“Right. I love the wreath too, by the way. Thank you.”
The Christmas Deal Page 9