Seth pulled off with a spit-soaked pop and smiled up at him, his hands spread wide above Logan’s knees, thumbs stroking the soft flesh of his inner thighs. He wasn’t just smiling—sunshine was shooting out of him like laser beams, and Logan had to smile back. Seth ducked his head again and sucked him deep.
Even though he’d already said way more than he usually would to another guy—grunts and nods were all it took most of the time—Logan found himself wanting to see that smile again. Seth was a good man. Maybe he could be an actual friend, and clearly he needed the ego boost. Plus, he sucked cock like a champ.
As Seth licked up and down his shaft, spit dripping into Logan’s pubes, Logan said, “You’re fuckin’ born for this.” He could feel Seth smile around him before sucking hard, hollowing his cheeks.
Logan jerked up his hips involuntarily, and Seth briefly choked before he pressed harder with his hands, fingers digging into Logan’s hips.
Logan grunted. “Sorry.”
Apparently all was forgiven since Seth was still sucking him like there was no tomorrow. Logan moaned, all the tension draining out of him. The bad tension, anyway. The good kind had pleasure sparking through him.
He could see their reflection in the dark, wide windows, and it gave him a jolt to see himself like that—legs spread and breathing hard with Seth sucking him off. Watching the reflection, he ran his hand over Seth’s head, caressing his thick hair. Seth seemed to like it, making happy little noises.
Shit, Logan loved that. He wanted to make Seth happy. He mumbled, “Gonna make me come so hard. You want it?” Some guys didn’t like swallowing—not that Logan blamed them. But he had a feeling about Seth, and sure enough, Seth gazed up at him, eyes eager as he gave a little nod, his mouth still stuffed with Logan’s dick.
The way his lips stretched wide around Logan’s meat, his blue eyes looking like he was begging for it, had Logan’s belly tensing, his balls tight. “Yeah, you want my cum, don’t you?” Not thinking, he reached out and traced a finger around Seth’s wet, swollen lips. “Gonna swallow it all?”
Seth reached down to massage Logan’s balls, their eyes locked, his nostrils flaring as he slurped harder. The tight tingling in Logan’s nuts surged into an orgasm, and he shot down Seth’s eager throat with a groan, fingers tangling in his thick hair.
“Fuck yeah,” he mumbled.
Seth pulled off Logan’s twitching cock, gasping, his chest heaving. White semen dribbled out of his mouth, and Logan impulsively swiped at it with his finger and fed it to him. Eyes closing, Seth sucked his index finger the way he had his cock. The sight had Logan pulsing again, a final few drops escaping his softening dick.
Seth’s cock was anything but soft, tenting his dress pants. Logan leaned forward and urged him closer, tugging Seth up fully on his knees. “Come on, get it out.”
Breathing hard, Seth blinked at him, shoving down the gray pants and his boxers until his cock sprang free. It was cut and thick, straining, almost purple and leaking. Logan wrapped his palm around it and stroked, spreading the liquid from the tip.
Balancing with a hand on Logan’s thigh, Seth moaned low in his throat and curled forward against him. Fiery, wet breath tickled Logan’s neck under Seth’s open mouth. In his left hand, Seth’s dick was an iron rod, hot and ready to blow.
Seth whimpered. “Oh. Oh, I…”
“What does it take to get you to swear?” Shit, Logan wanted to find out. He wanted Seth to truly let go—wanted to help him get there. Seth was good. He deserved it. “You’re close, aren’t you?”
After a few more strokes, Seth’s fingers dug into Logan’s thigh so hard they’d leave bruises, and with a cry, he came. It whipped through him like a gunshot, his body rigid as he spurted over Logan’s hand. It was warm and sticky, dripping on Logan’s knuckles.
Logan let go of him and relaxed back, arms at his sides. Seth followed, slumping against him, his face pressed to the side of Logan’s neck. Their harsh breathing and the drumming of Logan’s heart filled his ears.
He blinked at the muted TV, where the post-game guys were apparently talking about passing stats according to the graphic on the screen. Logan waited for Seth to move, even though he liked the warm weight of him.
Logan was about to run a hand through Seth’s hair, but he stopped himself. This wasn’t how it went with guys. It’s just getting off. Doing us both a favor. A bonus to our deal. Logan was about to nudge him when Seth sat back on his heels, breathing heavily, his face flushed. He smiled again, that grin full of sunshine and puppies or some shit.
Logan had no clue what to say, but then he was biting back a moan as Seth dropped his head and sucked Logan’s hand clean, his tongue dipping into the V between fingers, lapping up his own jizz.
It probably should have been gross, but a fresh coil of desire unleashed in Logan’s gut. He was reaching out again to touch Seth’s head, the urge to sink his fingers into that soft, thick hair too much to resist, when Seth pushed to his feet, yanking up his slacks.
“You’re right. I needed that. Thank you.” Seth looked like he wanted to say more, but after a few seconds he grabbed their glasses off the table. “Another round?”
Logan nodded, watching him disappear toward the kitchen. For a few moments, he could only sit there with his legs spread and his dick out, Seth’s spit drying on it. He ordered himself to move and managed to get his foot back through the leg hole in his underwear and jeans before tugging them up and zipping.
Seth whistled softly as he came back in. “Do you think they’ll trade Williams?” He held out Logan’s glass.
Logan took it. “Huh?” As Seth got settled on the far end of the couch, stretching his long legs out to cross his ankles on the chaise, Logan tried to remember a single thing about Williams and the Patriots. “Dunno.” It was the truth, at least.
“I don’t think they have the depth without him. It might give the team a short-term gain, but in the long run? Bad move.” He un-muted the TV, and the talking heads filled the surround sound.
“Yeah.” Logan nodded and repeated, “Yeah.”
What the fuck is my problem? Snap out of it.
Seth seemed fine, engrossed in the football talk on the TV while Logan’s heart thumped. He felt like he’d been riding roller coasters, his stomach and head all swoopy. All he could think was:
That was one hell of a blow job.
Chapter Ten
Logan was right—casual sex was fantastic.
As he showered the next morning, Seth found himself grinning. He was positively giddy, thinking about Logan filling his mouth—salty and male and powerful.
He tugged at his hard cock, tempted to go downstairs and wake Logan by sucking him again. Rubbing against him and feeling his body, kissing him—
Seth squeezed his shaft painfully. He needed to stay in control. Because, fine, perhaps he hadn’t quite gotten the hang of the casual aspect yet of the sex they’d had. It had been incredible to taste Logan, to be filled with him, and Logan had clearly enjoyed it, shooting down Seth’s throat in long, ropy spurts.
But, oh, to then feel that callused hand around his…his cock, had made Seth tremble. Embarrassed, he laughed at himself, reaching for the shampoo. Even after all the years of sex with Brandon, he still hesitated to even think of explicit words.
It was ludicrous that he could perform all the acts but then blush to think of his penis as his cock. He took hold of it again, stroking, a shudder running through him as he remembered the dirty things Logan had said.
Seth and Brandon had never talked much during sex. Over the years they’d settled into a routine, and it had been good. Seth had always loved going down on Brandon. But now, a new world of possibilities was opening. He inhaled deeply, the steamy air and hot water loosening his muscles. All the things he and Logan could do…
This is just casual, though.
Right. It was only “getting off,” as Logan had put it. Seth let go of himself and rinsed the shampoo from his hair. He couldn’t
get carried away. But how he’d ached to kiss Logan, to feel that stubble against his face and breathe him in. It would have been crossing a line, since Logan said he only kissed women. He’d been clear in his boundaries.
It had taken all of Seth’s will power to peel himself off Logan and stand, to act normal and offer him another drink. He’d longed for Logan to take him in his strong arms and just hold him in the afterglow, but that was clearly beyond the parameters of their arrangement.
Seth’s knees had been shaking so much he was surprised he’d been able to walk to the kitchen without tripping. He’d splashed scotch over the new gray quartz counter and had stood there deep breathing for a long minute before going back into the great room and feigning casualness with football talk.
He and Logan had a deal, and Seth would hold up his end. He still couldn’t believe Logan had sex with men even though he said he was straight. It certainly wasn’t Seth’s place to label anyone else’s sexuality, but he wondered what it would be like if they didn’t live in a society teeming with toxic masculinity. Growing up, any boys who didn’t fit the traditional mold were deemed lesser and called the F-word.
What was the incentive for a man like Logan to acknowledge bisexuality? Growing up in a working-class family in the Albany suburbs, joining the Marines out of high school, then working most of his adult life on the railway… Likely not the most positive, open-minded environments.
Seth laughed harshly, closing his eyes as he stood under the hot water. Of course he knew what that was like. He’d grown up trying so hard not to be different.
But he’d never been attracted to women, and it had proved impossible to compartmentalize his attraction for men, or his love and affection for them. Logan apparently only felt those kinds of tender feelings for women, and who was Seth to question that?
Logan did say he’d topped men occasionally. What would it be like? Seth shuddered, boldly touching himself, trying to push aside the automatic guilt that flared. Was it really less of a sin to have sex when you were in love? Why shouldn’t he be able to fantasize?
Taking a deep breath, he let his mind go, letting the explicit words flow, along with matching images.
What would it be like to have his cock in my ass? He’s nice and thick. He’d stretch me open, pound into me, fuck me so good—the way I need it.
Seth’s breath caught as he jerked himself hard, already splattering the gray granite tiles white as he imagined Logan coming inside him, whispering deliciously filthy things in his ear.
As the guilt threatened to return, he shoved it away. He murmured, “Why shouldn’t I feel good? Why shouldn’t I enjoy sex? I don’t have to be in love to get off. Why would God have made orgasms if we weren’t supposed to use them? Have them. Whatever.”
He laughed derisively and shut off the water. “I really do talk to myself too much.”
On the fuzzy bathmat, he rubbed his head with a towel. It was fortunate that he’d masturbated and taken the edge off. He needed to keep his cool around Logan and remember that the sex was only about physical pleasure. Logan did those things with strangers and didn’t have any feelings involved. That’s what it was supposed to be.
Yes, Seth was going to conquer his fear and stop making sex such a big deal. He was on the other side of the river. Maybe he should install Grindr on his phone and hook up with some random guy.
But he shuddered unpleasantly at the thought, reaching for his bathrobe and tying the belt tightly around his waist. Although he’d only known Logan less than a week, he trusted him—unlike the unknown men he might meet online.
Taking that bold step and kneeling between Logan’s legs to suck him had been terrifying—and exhilarating since Logan had made him feel safe.
Just as he had standing on the street in Saratoga Springs, big and strong at Seth’s side, helping him face Brandon and the others. Of course Logan was only being kind—only holding up his end of their deal for a fake relationship—yet his support had felt genuine.
Maybe it was his friendship with Jenna that allowed Seth to trust her brother so quickly. Yes, they had an arrangement, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be genuine friends. Seth had seen Logan vulnerable and shaking in the garage when he’d exerted himself too much, and he’d shown Logan his own vulnerability.
You can only be friends. You’re not allowed to want more.
He wiped condensation from the mirror and picked up his electric razor, staring at his reflection. He looked the same as he did every morning, and he laughed at himself softly. Had he expected to look different? He and Logan had shared orgasms, but that was all.
Logan was sleeping on the couch as he had every other night since he’d moved in. Temporarily moved in. Nothing had changed between them, no matter how much Seth had wanted to bring him up to bed and sleep naked together, touch him from head to toe, rub against his hairy body and muscles. Kiss him for hours.
They had a deal, and that wasn’t part of it. Seth wasn’t allowed to fall for Logan. This was only pretend. He nodded to his reflection.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
He dressed, his pants enjoyably warm from the trouser press in the corner of his room. He chose a dark tie with a subtle purple diamond pattern and surveyed himself in the closet-door mirror.
After fiddling with his hair, he realized he was acting like he was going on a date or something, not to the office. Yes, Logan was downstairs. No, Seth didn’t have to impress him with the sharpness of the crease in his pants.
The coffee maker had started brewing automatically, and Seth inhaled gratefully as he went downstairs and rounded the corner of the sitting room. He stumbled to a halt, blinking at Logan standing there by the fridge. Shirtless. Thank goodness he was wearing track pants, although now that Seth knew what his cock looked—and tasted like—he could imagine it so easily…
“Morning!” Seth said too cheerily and loudly.
Logan leaned a hip against the counter. “Morning.” A mug in one hand, he smiled tightly. “Hope it’s okay that I helped myself.”
“Of course! Make yourself completely at home.” Seth stood there across the island, trying to think of something else to say. He came up completely blank. Logan looked back at him, and an awkward silence built until Logan turned away.
He poured another mug of coffee and held it out, and Seth forced his feet to move. “Thanks!” His tone was still too cheery. Their fingers brushed, and the instinct to kiss Logan swelled. Uh, no. He’s not your boyfriend. No sleepy-sweet morning kisses. Seth drank a mouthful of coffee even though it was too hot.
Stop looking at his chest.
Logan laughed uneasily and crossed his arms. “Scars are ugly, I know.”
“Huh?” Seth blinked up at him, then back at his chest. He realized there were marks snaking through the dark hair on Logan’s sternum. He’d been too distracted by the reddish discs of Logan’s tight nipples to even notice. “Oh! No, not ugly at all. I didn’t notice them.”
He forced his gaze away, wincing at his false tone. He really hadn’t noticed, but Logan would think he was lying, not ogling his nipples. It was still dark outside, and in the window’s reflection over the kitchen sink, he could see Logan’s broad back, which wasn’t any less distracting.
Seth asked, “What are you up to today?”
Logan nodded toward the sink. “I’ll put up the backsplash tiles and grout it all.”
“Oh! Right.” Seth had chosen the pale blue glass tiles so long ago he’d almost forgotten about them. “Hope I still like them.”
“It’ll look good.” Logan scratched his chest, the sound of his nails on his hairy flesh drawing Seth’s attention despite himself. His pecs were wonderfully furry. Not too much, not too little. Just right.
You’re not Goldilocks. Stop it.
“Great! Thanks. Did you have breakfast? There are eggs in the fridge. Please help yourself.”
“Cool. Um, thanks.” Logan turned and opened the fridge, poking around the shelves.
Seth went to the pantry and blindly reached for something. Casual. Be casual. He blinked at what he was holding—baking soda. Quickly putting it back, he picked up a box of gingersnaps and read the nutritional info. From the corner of his eye, he could see Logan leaning against the island again, the fridge door closing with a soft thwack.
After a moment, Seth could sense Logan’s gaze on him. His neck went hot, and he imagined he could feel Logan’s eyes roaming over his body. Which was ridiculous! So Seth glanced over, telling himself Logan would definitely not be looking at him.
But he was.
And when their eyes met, they both startled and turned away, Logan returning to the fridge as Seth came out of the pantry and grabbed his coffee and gulped.
Seth cleared his throat. Casual. This wasn’t a big deal. Logan bent over the crisper drawer, the track pants stretching over his rear. Seth’s balls tightened, desire coiling deep in his belly as he imagined pushing inside Logan’s body.
“Okay, I’d better get on the road. Have a great day!” Seth ran for it. He could buy breakfast. And lunch.
“Hey, are we cool?” Logan asked as he turned from the fridge.
Seth stopped and faced him. “Hmm?” His heart drummed. “Uh-huh. Great. Thanks again for helping me…get over the hump. So to speak.”
Logan smirked. “Anytime.” He sipped his coffee. “Well… Have a good day at work.”
“Yes! I will. Thanks. Uh, you too!” Seth gave a wave because he was a complete dork. He escaped to jam on his boots, throw on his coat, and slip his way to the driveway through the fresh snow. He turned on the SUV’s engine in the garage and waited a minute while it warmed.
The guy who mowed his grass also came in winter to plow the long driveway, and it was freshly cleared. Seth threw down salt on the pathway so Logan wouldn’t slip and got on the road, his pulse racing for a good few miles.
The Christmas Deal Page 11