One to Win

by Michelle Monkou

  As a boy, he’d run barefoot from house to house. Everyone was family or close enough to be pulled into the circle. The equatorial heat and humidity never drained him, unlike the tourists who stomped through the rugged terrain on their ecotours, taking photos of him as if he were part of the natural landscape. While everyone paid expensive tour fees to enter and walk through the rain forest, this was his playground, where the lush, thick forests gave way to the flat grassy savannas. The rush of the Amazon River was only a few miles away; again, not an amazing spectacle to his child’s eye but simply a watery form of amusement and potential danger. Every animal and insect imaginable lived with the village’s human inhabitants. He’d learned from an early age through warnings, scoldings and real-life danger what he should fear. But that was his life in those days: home, school and playing outdoors in the sweltering heat.

  When he landed in Massachusetts, months after his home disappeared in the mudslide, he thought that he’d awoken into a nightmare of sounds and giants. Traffic resembled a stampede of metal, and he was surrounded by incessant car horns and people of all colors, none of whom wore cheery smiles and had ready greetings for each other. Buildings soared as if to compensate for the loss of the forests. Instead of delivering the steady temperature and mix of wet and dry seasons he knew, weather here operated like an angry bruxa sending her spells to whip up extreme cold and extreme heat.

  To survive school and to fit in, he slammed the door on the past. Here, in America, was his future. There was really no place on his back big enough to carry the load of his loss, yearning and memories. And as far as the present, he’d been successful in his effort.

  He’d come to accept restraint, focus and discipline as complements of his ability to keep the door firmly closed. But cracks had formed once he’d met Fiona. He did his best to stay the course, to block out his past.

  No matter how hard he resisted, opening his heart to Fiona awoke feelings, gave life to emotions that he hadn’t known he still had and made him hope. Those cracks in his defense kept up their progress, creating an imminent threat of a breakdown. After Fiona closed the door and walked out of his life, the one thing she couldn’t do was push all the feelings she’d stirred in him back in the bottle to be sealed. The last three years, he’d coped and learned to shut off the valve to his emotions again.

  Working with the Meadows family and being close to Fiona, Leo couldn’t deny a tiny bubble of panic. The trials this family would endure and experience over this grandchild could shake loose his defenses. With Fiona looking to pick up where she’d left off, she was coming at him with her brand of supercharged sexual energy. While there would be backtracking through old terrain, his current focus was all about his legal career. He planned to take a few pages from her philosophy on life and keep the heart and mind separately contained and out of reach. Once was enough for a woman, this woman, to render him weak, vulnerable and emotionally out of control.

  Leo’s lungs burned for oxygen. The steep slope in the landscape had to be conquered. Everything unanchored in his life had to be conquered. His hamstrings screamed as he took on the incline. Sweat rolled down his forehead, dripping into his eyes. The sting was welcomed.

  Maybe a bit of pain could keep his thoughts straight. On the outside, Fiona had floated into his life, but he might have the situation under control. On the inside, his turmoil was a nightly visitor—a dream.

  He’d dreamed about his little sister, grinning up at him, showing off her missing front tooth. He had been the last one in the family to be shown her milestone. And it was the last time he’d seen her that day.

  Sweat, tears—it didn’t matter as they dripped down his face. The uneven terrain was hell on his legs. Jogging to the brink of exhaustion was therapeutic, though. Otherwise, the ever-present ache for his family rendered him unmotivated to do anything. Hard to trust or believe in a happy-ever-after when in a flash every one he cherished had been ripped from his life. But this was his pain to bear. He kept it tucked close as he punished his body with his brutal exercise regimen.

  Staying with the large Meadows family poked at the wound. Despite their drama, they proved repeatedly that they were unified and a protective force for each other. More than anything, his weakness had to remain undercover, preferably out of sight. Normally he’d function without any issues, without any nagging dreams. But Fiona ignited deep feelings within him, turning on the light in the darkest areas of his emotions. He pumped his arms to match the ramped-up speed of his jogging. Would be nice if he could outrun it all.

  By the time Leo returned to the guesthouse, his legs suffered the shakes like a Jell-O mold. Water quenched his thirst and resuscitated his energy. Before he hopped into the shower, he called his sponsors—the only people who were close to being his family.

  “Leo, good to hear from you.” Freida still had strains of her German accent.

  “How are you doing? And Franz?”

  “Good. Good. Franz is back in Brazil. You know that is like his second home. I’m here catching up on a few things.” She coughed.

  “Are you sick?” To him, Freida was a boulder of good health and lots of cheer. She didn’t believe in moping around and always wore a smile that could lift a dour mood in an instant.

  “A little tickle in the throat. I’m a hearty German. Don’t worry about me.” They shared a laugh because German blood was the reason for anything good and strong in her life. “It really is good to hear from you. Fill me in on what you’re up to.”

  He did. Since he’d left Massachusetts, he didn’t call often. Most times, Freida and Franz were working with the same charity in some country or other, helping native populations to survive and cope after disasters. He’d finally encouraged them to use email, which hid any of the awkwardness he showed during their live interactions.

  “Franz is in São Miguel village. Your childhood home,” she prompted when he didn’t react. “He’s still looking, Leo.”

  “Thanks.” Leo gripped the phone, fighting the urge to toss it to the floor. Although he didn’t have the courage to go back, Franz made an annual pilgrimage to look for any of his relatives. Every year, he returned with no developments. After a while, Leo wished that he’d stop. The continued hope and disappointment crushed his soul.

  “I’ll tell him that you called.”

  “Yeah.” His emotion choked off further speech.

  “Be safe. Continue to make us proud. Bye, Leo.”

  Leo hung up and stayed immobile. No sense in his getting emotional over Franz’s doggedness. There was nothing back in São Miguel.

  Life happened—the good and the not so good.

  He clenched his jaw and exhaled. Only then did he move and head for the shower.

  He blasted his body first with frigid water, then as hot as his skin could bear. He needed to clear away the sweat and dirt of his run. But he also needed to break free from his mind and his own nagging demons, even if temporarily. Skipping the breakfast fare at the main house, he opted to be in his own space for a little while longer. He made breakfast from the fruit that he’d bought at the open-air market. Keeping an eye on the time, he enjoyed his meal while catching up on work emails.

  Done with everything, he declared, “Time to deal with the Meadowses.”

  He headed up the garden path, now that he was aware of the shortcut that would take him through the garage and into the house. He passed and greeted the various house staff. As he walked past the windows, he could see someone was taking an early-morning swim in the pool. The house was stirring to life. He picked up his pace, wanting to be early for his meeting with Grace.

  After a few wrong twists and turns, he walked into the open hallway and past the grand staircase. He instinctively looked up to see if Fiona might be coming down the steps. Luck wasn’t on his side. The sleepy quietness on the second floor was in contrast to the gradual busyness on the first fl
oor. Why not? They were on vacation.

  “Ah, Leo, good to see you early for the meeting.” Grace appeared ahead of him from one of the many rooms.

  “Yep, I’m ready to get to work.”

  “Good. I like a healthy work ethic.”

  They bantered until they walked into her office. Then the doors closed and the atmosphere changed from casual, friendly, attentive interest in each other’s comfort to a solemn, intense all-business approach.

  Grace took her seat behind the desk, making it clear where he needed to be seated. The other option was on the right side of her large executive desk.

  Against the windows overlooking the back of the house, the large office contained two other sitting areas for bigger group discussions. One space was furnished with a small conference table to seat six and the other had a thick leather couch and two single chairs. The remaining wall space was lined with bookshelves and decorations that weren’t of the Ikea variety.

  While she prepared her desk for their meeting, he sat opposite her waiting for the day’s instructions. Yesterday they’d shared time over breakfast. Today they were working together on the Meadows family.

  He took the plunge and started. “I have contracted an investigator who solely handles finding adopted children.”

  “Good.” She peered over her reading glasses. Her mouth scrunched as she waited for him to continue.

  “No disrespect, but you could have done that.”

  “I could have.” She pursed her lips but then cleared her throat with a slight cough. “I thought you the best person for the job. While you are bound by legal ethics, I also needed someone who could empathize with the various angles of the delicate situation.”

  Seconds ticked by before Leo fully understood Grace’s explanation. “You’ve checked into my background.”

  “Naturally. You are handling my affairs. I wouldn’t let just anyone into my house.”

  “Oh.”

  “No one knows,” she offered, with that surprising gentleness that could melt ice off a cold heart.

  Finally, he said, “The adoption wasn’t closed.” What else was there to say?

  “Then my daughter has known where he was all this time?” The reading glasses were taken off and dangled between her manicured fingers.

  “Not necessarily. It only means that it shouldn’t be too difficult to find him.” Leo hoped.

  Grace seemed to take what he said and digest it. With a quick nod, she motioned with her hand. “Now for the will.” The reading glasses slid back into place.

  “We don’t know if he’d be amenable to your gifts.” Leo wanted to slow down her blind faith that this scenario would be an easy family reunion.

  “I understand. But I could have a heart attack like this...” She snapped her fingers. “And then nothing will have been in place.”

  Leo, of all people, easily acknowledged that everyone on earth would die. But in Grace’s case, he felt that her iron tenacity would be her bargaining chip to get things her way before she went to the other side.

  He arranged the major portions of the will along her desk. He had no idea if she was revamping every piece or one of the categories of her assets.

  She read through some of the paperwork. “I also want to amend the trust. I want to work with an orphanage.”

  Every detail, every wish was noted. Eventually, he’d have to bring in the president of the family trust to fine-tune the details. Until the grandson was found, he had to operate like a one-person multioperational unit. For now, he went along with the program. Although he knew that it wasn’t the most effective or efficient way to accomplish the tasks. He wondered why Grace, praised for her efficient business acumen, wanted to work like this. Privacy didn’t seem to be reason enough, when a full legal team would be held to the same ethical standards and be quicker.

  But his success would bring him a significant career boost. A recommendation from Grace could fast-forward the momentum of his professional path, and one piece of caustic feedback from her could tear the foundation from under his career aspirations.

  A knock on the door interrupted their discussion. Grace bade entry. The door opened slowly before Fiona popped in her head. Her face was tense. She didn’t look in his direction. Her grandmother waved her into the room.

  Leo straightened up. His body went on alert at Fiona’s distress. He almost jumped up to ask her what the matter was.

  “Mom said she’s leaving. Today. Right now.” Her agitation rose with every word.

  “What?” Grace might be pushing the eighty-year mark, but she still had an agility that surprised everyone. She was around her desk and at the door in seconds. “She can’t leave.”

  “Speak to her, Grandma,” Fiona pleaded, following her to the door. “Please.”

  Leo heard the pain, although the visual was even stronger. Fiona wasn’t the type to get emotional and chatty about her feelings. That was why seeing her clutch her grandmother’s arm, her expression sad but her tone hopeful for Grace’s help, had him walking toward them.

  He had every intention to reassure her, while holding her against his chest, that everything would be all right. He stopped just shy of them. That would be the normal reaction if they were a couple.

  Common sense intervened. Grace was providing the emotional strength that he wanted to, but couldn’t, offer to her granddaughter. All he could do was hover on the sideline. Once Grace went to find Verona, he didn’t know whether to go to Fiona or give her space and return to the desk. He didn’t know how to comfort her, because he didn’t know why she was upset.

  The clock’s ticking and Fiona’s sighs punctuated the quietness of the large room. She remained at the door, gripping the handle. She hadn’t acknowledged him. Giving her space was more important. He resettled in the chair.

  His adjustment snagged her attention. She looked over at him, as if noticing his presence for the first time. The furrowed brow and worry-laced gaze melted away into the tight set of her face and arms as she gave a frosty glare. It didn’t take long for her to move from the door and plant herself in front of him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, seeing the answer but wanting to be the first to speak.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “What?” Leo slowly pushed himself out of the chair. The hints were loud and brash that this conversation wouldn’t be one filled with tender quips.

  “Why is my family acting weirder than normal? My mother, who could be a clone to Grace, looked on the verge of an emotional collapse. I couldn’t talk to her. My father couldn’t talk to her. Something’s up.” Her eyes added an exclamation point with their direct blast on him.

  “And you blame me for your mother’s departure?”

  “Yes!” She stomped her foot. “No.”

  He would have much rather she’d been as emphatic with her no. But he’d take what he could get.

  “You don’t have to tell me the details, but is what you’re working on with Grace...going to affect my mother?”

  “No.” The lie came so easily that Leo paused to weigh the serious step he’d just taken. He truly didn’t know what else to say. Not at liberty to say would have been so much better. But he wanted her to stop worrying, stop being suspicious of her mother, stop all the questioning leveled at him. And so he took a dangerous road that he knew would have consequences, even if it meant that his guilt tore at his gut.

  “Working for my grandmother might not be worth it in the end.” She shifted her gaze to the paperwork of the will still laid out on the desk. “I really hope you know what you’re doing,” she fired at him. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

  “I know that I am capable of doing my job. Addressing my client’s requests.” Leo fought to sound even-keeled. “And I know that your grandmother has everyone’s best interests at heart.”
/>
  “Pat me on my head and tell me it’s the adults in charge.”

  “No. Not all. It’s—”

  She spun away from him and headed around the desk. Her eyes were laser focused on the paperwork.

  But he reached out, grabbing her arm to stop her. “Don’t. Don’t lose faith in Grace.” He wanted to say in him. But she’d never had faith in him. She hadn’t thought him up to par, equal with her, when she explained why they were better off apart than together. “Be patient,” he finished.

  Under the grip of his fingers, he felt the tension leave her body.

  As if it was the most natural thing to do, he gently drew her into his arms. Her body yielded against his and he held her as she rested her head against his shoulder. Her hair brushed his chin.

  “I want the uneasy feeling to go away,” she said with a sigh.

  “There’s nothing to make you worry. You’re surrounded by good people.”

  She leaned away, but not out of his arms. “And you’re one of the good people?” Her smile erased any bite.

  “I’m on the team of the best people,” he bragged.

  Before she could say anything, he kissed her. There was no demand in his touch. Nor did he crave anything beyond offering comfort. Though she hadn’t a clue about the goings-on, he wanted her to know that he was there for her.

  His lips and hers formed the perfect seal.

  Leo hadn’t known much about the Meadows family when he dated Fiona. Her entry into his life was like a sudden hurricane that crashed through, uprooting his expectations about love.

  “I agree with your assessment,” she said after their brief kiss. “Don’t change that. Don’t turn it off. Not even for Grace.”

  Her kind remarks touched his core, leaving him with a warm glow.

  Grace reentered with Verona in tow. By then, he and Fiona, no longer in each other’s arms, watched their march into the room. Verona looked reluctant and very startled when she noticed Fiona’s presence. Leo took a casual step closer to Fiona. Their shoulder-to-shoulder stance could hardly be considered a united front. Fiona’s body, like his, grew tense, readying for the play-out of the situation.