Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4)

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “Yes,” I replied, “we were talking about the fact that apparently I’m your girl now.”

  Jude chuckled scratching his stubbled jaw. “That’s right. Get used to it, because I’m never letting you go.” He nodded towards the door. “We better go.”

  I smiled at Dylan. “Bye.”

  He nodded in reply. I got the idea he was a guy of few words.

  Jude and I didn’t speak much on the drive to my house. He did hold my hand the entire way, though. It amazed me how just being near him filled me with serenity. He soothed my broken soul. No, he didn’t just soothe it. He mended it.

  “Are you coming inside?” I asked him when he parked the truck on the street outside my house.

  “Sure, why not,” he shrugged, unbuckling his seatbelt.

  I unlocked the front door and we headed inside, up to my room.

  I closed the door behind us and looked through my closet for something to wear. I eyed what Jude wore and wrinkled my nose. “Do I have to get dressed up for this date?”

  He bounced on the end of my bed. “I love how you say that like it’s a bad thing, and no you don’t need to dress up.”

  “Shorts okay?” I asked, holding up a pair.

  He eyed the length and his eyes glowed. “Yeah, that’s definitely alright with me.”

  I laughed. I took the dress off and tossed it at his head. He caught it easily.

  I pulled on a tank top, my shorts, and grabbed a plaid shirt for extra warmth. It might’ve been spring, but that didn’t mean it was warm all the time, and with the shorts I could use the extra layer of clothing.

  Jude licked his lips, staring at my long legs. “God you’re gorgeous.”

  “If you keep telling me things like that I might end up getting full of myself. A bit like someone else I know,” I winked.

  He chuckled and leaned back on my bed, resting on his elbows. “There’s nothing wrong with being confident.”

  I walked over to him and climbed on the bed, straddling his lap. He grinned, thinking I was up to something. I really just wanted to see his injured eye up close. I reached out to tenderly stroke the skin and he flinched away from my touch. I frowned. “Does it hurt?”

  He shrugged. “Not too bad.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to be such a guy. You can tell me if it hurts.”

  “It hurts,” he sighed. Brightening, he grinned crookedly. “Are you going to kiss it and make it better?”

  “Maybe,” I smiled, and leaned in ever so slowly. I pressed my lips against the tender and swollen skin. His breath hissed out and I immediately pulled back. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. “Sorry,” I frowned.

  “It’s okay,” he sighed, smoothing his fingers through my hair. “You didn’t mean to hurt me.” He chuckled, grinning widely as his eyes flicked down. “I really like this position. Your breasts look great from here.”

  I rolled my eyes. Such a guy.

  “Should I say thank you? Or hit you? Because I’m not quite sure.”

  He laughed heartily, but before he could reply the door to my room flew open. I hadn’t bothered to lock it. I hadn’t thought it was an issue. I was wrong.

  “Tatum!” My dad bellowed. Standing in the doorway he looked like a raging bull. His face was red, but it was quickly turning purple. A vein in his forehead throbbed, ready to burst. “What the hell do you think you’re doing in my house with this boy?!” His fists clenched so hard at his sides that the knuckles turned white.

  I slid off Jude’s lap and stood. He stood up too, positioning his body so that he was in front of me, protecting me.

  “Sir—”

  “You will not speak!” My dad yelled at Jude. “You are not welcome in my house! Get out!”

  I couldn’t figure out why he hated Jude so much, I guessed it really didn’t matter, I just knew it wasn’t for the same reason I’d hated Jude for so long. The man clearly wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I didn’t understand why he was suddenly coming home so often. It used to be rare for him to come home, and when he did he seemed to time it so he knew I wasn’t home. It was like that day he told me I seemed happy something changed in him. Like, if he was still miserable, then I had to be too.

  “Sir,” Jude repeated, his tone calm. I could tell from his stance and the slope of his shoulders that he was anything but calm. I knew that if it came to it, he wouldn’t hesitate to hit my father to protect me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re leaving! I’m a lawyer! I know my rights and you need to get out before I call the cops!”

  “Then she’s coming with me.” Jude reached behind to grab onto my hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. I hadn’t realized it until he touched me, but I was shaking.

  My dad’s face went from purple to blue. I thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen. He opened his mouth to start yelling again and this time I couldn’t mistake the stench of alcohol on his breath. He reeked.

  “I want you away from my daughter! You are a no good son of a bitch from the wrong side of the tracks! She,” my dad thrust a finger in my direction, “is an O’Connor! She will not end up with a scumbag like you!”

  “Pardon me, sir,” Jude sneered, “but who’s the real scumbag here?” He looked my father up and down significantly. “The guy who cares about your daughter? Or the father who’s yelling at her and looks like he’d love to put his fist to her face?”

  “You!” My dad screamed rearing back to attack Jude. He was drunk though and therefore his movements were slow.

  Jude beat him to it, tackling him to the ground. My dad was stunned by the turn of events and didn’t seem to know what to do with himself.

  “Come on,” Jude reached for my hand. I gave it to him and he pulled me past my dad who still lay on the ground. He was starting to try to get up, though. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

  He all but pulled me down the steps. I couldn’t seem to get my feet to move.

  I was numb. Lost. Floating.

  I didn’t know how to handle what had transpired.

  Jude sped out of the neighborhood, breaking at least ten traffic laws. “That man,” he growled, clenching the steering wheel so tight I was surprised it didn’t break off in his grasp, “is a piece of shit. That’s what you live with, Tate? Why? Why don’t you get out of there?”

  The floodgates opened up then. “I’m trying!” I screamed at him. I wasn’t even mad at him, but my God I needed to scream. I hadn’t wanted him, or anyone else, to know how bad it had gotten recently with my dad, but now that he’d witnessed it firsthand I let all my emotions out. “I’m trying my hardest to get away from there!” I started to sob. “I’m trying,” I repeated, over and over again for lack of anything else to say. I couldn’t seem to stop my tears. My face was soaked with them and they fell from my chin to my shirt.

  “Oh, baby,” Jude’s voice cracked. Suddenly, he pulled the truck off the side of the road. He parked the truck, undid his seatbelt, and pulled me into his arms. My elbow bumped into the horn and the sound of it reverberated around us. The tears kept coming and I was helpless to stop them. He wiped them away with his fingers as fast as they came. He even kissed some of them way, like he hoped maybe his kisses could heal the broken pieces of me. I was doing better, I was, but there always seemed to be something that knocked me down again. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. “Let it out, baby.”

  I clung to him like he was the only thing holding me up and maybe he was. He was my strength. My rock. He kept me whole.

  I tucked my head beneath his chin, my tears dampening his skin. I hadn’t cried this hard since I lost Graham. I thought maybe I’d been keeping all the tears bottled inside me all these years. Now, the dam broke free.

  Jude whispered sweet words to me, but I couldn’t understand any of them. It was like my mind shut down all-together. It was the only way I could cope. It’s what I always did: Pretend it wasn’t happening. It was so much easier to ignore everything
around me than to face it straight on. Maybe that made me weak, but I didn’t care.

  His lips brushed the top of my head. One of his hands wiped at my cheeks while the other rubbed my back in a soothing gesture.

  I gasped for air. This was probably the most epic ugly cry in the entire universe and Jude handled it as if he dealt with this kind of thing every day. Most guys would have run away from me, screaming their heads off. I was pretty sure it was a fact somewhere: Tears scared guys. But not Jude. He was different. I think deep down I’d always known it, but I’d clung to my hatred of him. I needed someone to hate and he became my scapegoat, but now that hate had nowhere to go but to my parents. I could feel the anger rising in my body to boiling levels. It would only take one more interaction with my dad and I’d lose my ever-loving mind.

  “Let it out, Tate,” Jude whispered, kissing my forehead in a tender gesture. “Let yourself feel.”

  I was letting myself feel. All of it. All the pain, and hate, and heartbreak, and a million other things I’d kept bottled inside for far too long. I felt it everywhere and it was the most painful thing in the world, but also the most healing.

  I pushed away from Jude’s arms and was out of the truck before he knew what I was doing.

  We were on a back road and there were no cars or people for miles. Just animals, and I wasn’t worried about them.

  I walked a ways, a hundred feet or so, and let my head fall back.

  I opened my mouth and I screamed.

  I was doing what Jude told me. I was letting it all out and this was the only way I could truly do that.

  I screamed again, because it felt so good the first time.

  After another scream, I fell to the ground on my knees, my chest heaving as I gulped greedily at the air.

  Jude had gotten out of the truck at some point and his arms wrapped around me.

  He was quiet for a moment, just holding me, but finally he spoke.

  “Feel better now?” He asked.

  I nodded. I couldn’t seem to find the words to speak.

  “Good.” He picked me up bridal style and I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my head against his chest. His heart thumped steadily against my ear. I decided in that moment that the sound of Jude’s heart was my favorite sound in the whole world. It eased my pain and brought me comfort.

  It was kind of funny actually, how falling in love with the wrong person could be the most right thing in the world.

  Everything about Jude was made for me and I was made for him. We completed each other in every way.

  Jude set me in the truck like I was a doll.

  He kissed me gently, as if he hoped his kiss alone could heal me. He looked down at me, his brown eyes full of warmth and caring. “It’s okay to be sad, it isn’t a bad thing, unless you let it be. When you’re sad, you have to remember not to let it eat you up so that you can find happiness again.” He traced his index finger lightly over my parted lips. “I used to be angry all the time, because of my parents, but my anger never solved anything. It just made me a miserable person. I don’t want that for you, Tate. Don’t let it eat you up. Find your happy.”

  “You’re my happy.” I whispered.

  He grinned crookedly and cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin. “And you’re my happy.”

  To others our words might’ve seemed cheesy, but they were one-hundred percent true. Before Jude I hadn’t realized how rarely I was happy. He gave that back to me. No, not just that. He gave me back me. He resurrected the Tatum who’d died with her brother. If that didn’t make him special—us special—I didn’t know what did.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him. He seemed surprised by the gesture and slowly wrapped his arms around me, which was hard since he was still standing outside the truck while I sat inside.

  “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear.

  “For what?” He asked with surprise in his eyes.

  “For you.”

  He smiled. “That’s one thing you never need to thank me for, Tatum.”

  He backed out of the cab of the truck and closed the door. He jogged around to the driver’s side and climbed inside.

  “To Pap’s?” He asked, seeming unsure if I still wanted to go or not.

  I nodded. “Absolutely. I’ve missed that man.”

  Jude grinned, looking in the rearview mirror before pulling away. “I should be jealous. I’m pretty sure you’re using me to get to my grandpa.”

  I laughed, flipping down the visor so I could check my makeup in the mirror. Wiping away streaks of mascara I said, “You caught me. I’m in love with your grandpa.”

  “I knew it!” He laughed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio. “I’m cuter though.”

  “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” I smiled, and it was genuine, “your grandpa is kind of hot.”

  He gasped and then we dissolved into fits of laughter.

  It was amazing how one minute we could be having a serious conversation, involving buckets of tears on my part, and the next we could be happy and joking. I guessed when you found the right person that’s what happened.

  I tilted my head to the side, studying Jude’s profile. From the slope of his forehead, to the arch of his nose, and down to his pouty lips he was perfect for me. But it wasn’t just his looks. It was him. I was connected to him in a way I knew I’d never be with anyone else.

  I hadn’t been looking for the one, or anyone for that matter, but love doesn’t wait till you think you’re ready. It comes along when you least expect it and turns your life upside down. It sends you on a journey of epic proportions and changes the course of your life. It completes you.

  

  We spent the whole afternoon with Jude’s grandpa, but when it came to be evening time Jude made me wait in the living room while he did something in the kitchen.

  I was desperate to know what he was up to, but I was sure it had something to do with our ‘date’.

  After my cry-fest things had settled down and I let myself relax and have some fun.

  “What’s that grandson of mine up to?” Jerry asked me.

  I shrugged. “Who knows?”

  Jerry grew quiet and I could feel his eyes on me. I wondered what he was thinking.

  “Jude is lucky to have a girl like you,” he said.

  I smiled, turning to face him better. “Thank you. I’m lucky to have him too.”

  “There’s something I want to show you,” Jerry stood slowly. His back creaked as he stretched.

  “Uh…” I started. “He might get mad if I leave the room and spoil his surprise.”

  Jerry waved a hand dismissively. “He’ll have to go through me first to get to you. Don’t worry.”

  I couldn’t help laughing at that.

  Jerry led me upstairs and into his bedroom. He shuffled stuff around on the dresser and looked through the drawers. “Aha,” he cried with joy when he found the box. He smiled proudly as he handed it to me. I lifted the lid and gasped at what I found inside. Nestled in the box was a silver bracelet with a single heart charm on it. “It was my Mae’s,” he smiled. “She’d want you to have it.”

  “I can’t except this.” I thrust the box back into Jerry’s hands. “It isn’t right.”

  “Yes, it is,” Jerry said adamantly. “I see the way Jude looks at you. You’re going to be in this family for a long time and I want you to have this. Please.” He tried to hand me the box again, but I refused to take it.

  “I can’t take this, Jerry,” I shook my head, backing a step away with my hands raised. “It was your wife’s and I’m just Jude’s girlfriend.”

  “Fine,” Jerry huffed, and I thought he was going to put it away. Instead, he tried a different tactic. “Then accept it because you’re my friend.”

  “Jerry,” I whined desperately. “The bracelet is beautiful and I’d be honored to wear it, but it’s special to you. I can’t take it.”

  He
shook his head. Stubborn old man. “Because it’s special to me I want you to have it. It deserves to be worn, not sitting in this old box. Please,” he handed me the box again and I took it, “it’s yours now. I look at you as if you’re my granddaughter and I want you to have something special. If it makes you feel better think of it as a graduation gift. You’re graduating soon, right?”

  I nodded in answer and was about two seconds away from crying again. “Are you sure?” I asked, cradling the box protectively against my chest.

  “I’m sure,” he smiled, patting my hand.

  I set the box down and Jerry looked ready to argue with me again, but he closed his mouth when he saw that I was simply removing the bracelet to put it on my wrist. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his wrinkled cheek. “Thank you.”

  He wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug. “You’re welcome.”

  I picked up the box once more and held it carefully. The bracelet jingled against my wrist. I’d never worn a lot of jewelry but the bracelet felt like it belonged.

  I started to walk out of the room, but something that had been bugging me for a while forced me to stop. I turned to Jerry and asked, “Do you remember a girl named Julia?”

  Jerry’s eyes filled with surprise. “I haven’t heard that name in a long time, but yes.”

  “Did Andrew love her?” I asked. I don’t know why, but it seemed important to know.

  Jerry sighed, scratching his chin. “I’m not sure my son ever loved anyone but himself. Why are you asking?”

  “Just wondering,” I shrugged. I sucked on my bottom lip and decided to ask one last question. “Do you happen to remember Julia’s last name?”

  Jerry rolled his eyes in thought. After a moment he answered, “Hansen. Julia Hansen.”

  “Thanks,” I smiled.

  We headed downstairs and found Jude waiting by the front door with a smile on his face. “What are you two up to?” He asked.

  I held my wrist out. “He wanted to give me this.”

  “That was Grams,” Jude smiled wistfully, his fingers brushing lightly against my wrist. “It looks beautiful on you, Tate.”