Unprotected

by Kristin Lee Johnson

  “I am focused on my family, but you’re family too. He pulled his keys out and took one off his ring. “Here’s our house key, so just come and go as you need to.” She was incredibly touched by the gesture. Lucy and her sisters had come to feel like sisters, but for the first time she felt like she also had a brother.

  * * *

  The rest of the day passed quickly. Amanda called her insurance agent and was able to get through to him on an emergency line. He already knew about her apartment and was waiting for her call. They discussed options, including getting a cash advance from the Red Cross. Amanda decided to call her credit card company to ask for her credit limit to be extended to give her enough money to buy clothes and necessities until her insurance money came through.

  Amanda didn’t have much of a credit limit in the first place, but she was able to get it extended enough to give her some breathing room. Her insurance agent said that they have an agreement with Super 8 Hotels to rent a room by the week, so she made a reservation at the Apple Falls Super 8 starting that night.

  Shopping just for the essentials was probably more enjoyable than it should have been. It was fun to have a clean slate and start over with a brand new everything. Her cart was overflowing with clothes, pajamas, underwear, shoes, toiletries, and a few groceries.

  Back at the hospital, Amanda was finally able to see Javier when Will pushed his glass crib to a viewing room. She choked back her shock and alarm at the sight of his purplish skin, his toothpick limbs, and his head that was barely larger than a plum. She blew him a kiss and waved goodbye at Will. Stopping in Lucy’s room she gave her one more hug and headed back to Apple Falls. She had promised to check in when she got to the hotel.

  The sky was streaked with a dozen shades of pink, purple, and gold, and the day’s warmth had already melted several inches of Friday’s blizzard. Streams of snowmelt ran down the highway, and Amanda guessed that the snow would be gone in a week, leaving little sign of the record-setting spring storm that coincided with one of the worst days of her life.

  The next day was Monday, and Amanda would finally have to face reality, apologize for her mistakes, and hope that the only casualty of her lack of judgment, other than the victims who weren’t ready for anyone’s help right now, was herself.

  * * *

  The hotel was older but clean, and as she checked in, Amanda wondered how long this hotel would be her home. Wishing she had bought a duffel bag, Amanda carried her shopping bags to her room. She brushed her teeth with a real toothbrush and took out a t-shirt and boxer shorts from her purchases and put them on.

  Remembering her promise to Lucy, Amanda fished her phone out of her purse and turned it back on as she crawled into bed. Her phone beeped and showed that she had eight voicemail messages and even more text messages. She looked at the text messages screen and saw they were all from Jake.

  “Where are you????” Friday, 2:32 p.m.

  “I just heard about Lucy. Call me.” Friday, 8:10 p.m.

  “I’m worried about you, Amanda. Please call me. I’ve been trying and I know your phone is off. I hope you check it soon because we need to talk.” Friday, 11:12 p.m.

  “I heard Lucy is okay. Thank God. Now please call because we really have to talk.” Saturday, 7:56 a.m.

  ““Please call me, Amanda.” Saturday 9:02 a.m.

  “I don’t know if you are upset with me or just have your phone off, but there are major things happening here right now and I HAVE to talk to you.” Saturday, 7:44 p.m.

  “Call me.” Saturday 11:49 p.m.

  ““There are huge things going on here, and they affect you. Lots of people here need to talk to you, but I want to explain things to you first. You have to call me.” Sunday, 4:17 p.m.

  “There is a court hearing on Monday at 9:00 a.m.. You should be there, but PLEASE PLEASE talk to me first. Call me as soon as you get this.” Sunday 7:09 p.m.

  “I’ve talked to Will. I know you’re at the hotel. I know you’re avoiding me. You don’t know how serious this is, and I don’t want you to hear it from anyone else. Please call me before you go to the hearing.” Sunday 7:58 p.m.

  The last message came thirty minutes earlier. Amanda hesitated for a moment trying to decide what to do. It was hard to know what he meant by “serious things” but she assumed it was about the fire. Reality had to return tomorrow, and Amanda wanted to be ready for it. During her entire life she had shut down, avoided, and run away from difficult things, but to be fair to herself, she had done so because most things in her life had been so damn difficult.

  Somehow this time was different. This time the avoidance was temporary, a need to get away and regroup. Thinking about her mistake still brought a wave of shame, but also a growing sense of indignation. Those girls had come to her looking for help, and she offered help the best way she could at the time. If they fired her, she could live with it, but it felt so unfair.

  Amanda sent Lucy a quick text saying she was at the hotel and was fine. Then she turned her phone back off and set in on the nightstand. Tomorrow would come soon enough, and she would deal with all of this then. For now, Amanda was exhausted and needed sleep.

  While she hadn’t been exposed to church a lot in her life, Amanda prayed for strength to get through the next day.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Stale powdered donuts, a pitcher of orange juice, and some paper cups comprised the continental breakfast. Amanda started to feel a little pathetic as she rifled through her plastic Target bags to find a box of granola bars among her new underwear and hair products. When she realized her only pair of shoes didn’t really match her new Target dress pants, sudden and unexpected tears sprang up. I cannot cry today, she thought fiercely. This day was going to be hard enough.

  Gathering her purse and phone, she remembered that she had loaned Lucy a pair of boots because her feet were too swollen to fit into any of her shoes. Grateful for the house key that William gave her, she drove across Apple Falls to Will and Lucy’s house. The garage door had been left open and Will’s car was already gone.

  The mess inside was surprising, but the trail of blood made her knees weak. She could imagine the scene of Lucy suddenly hemorrhaging and Will frantically trying to get her to the car. Drops of blood had turned to dark, sticky pools by the garage door. She couldn’t stand the thought of Lucy coming home to that, so she found the cleaning supplies and started scrubbing.

  It was after 10: 00 a.m. when Amanda put away her rag and forced herself back to her car. She was halfway to Terrance before she realized that she forgot to pick up her boots.

  The March sun was intense, and last week’s snow was melting fast. Terrance was starting to feel like home, and she wondered if this was one of her last days there. Her heart pounded as she parked in front of her building and went inside.

  “Amanda!” Maddie, the front desk receptionist startled her. “You are to go directly to court. Everyone is over there already. Jacob from the County Attorney’s office has called about five times this morning already.” The mention of Jake made her look at her phone and realize it still wasn’t on. Since it had to be off in the courtroom anyway, she just left it off.

  Amanda splashed her way across the street, cringing at her unmatched shoes. The parking lot was full. Inside there was a crowd gathered by the courtroom doors, and a bailiff standing watch. Despite being at court only a handful of times, the bailiff recognized her and told her to go inside. A prickle of uneasiness crept up her spine. Why would he specifically invite her inside when there were so many people left in the hall?

  It was the largest courtroom available, and the bench seating was packed with nearly one-hundred spectators. There were no seats available, but the bailiff inside motioned for her to stand against the back wall. Even from the back, she recognized Chuck Thomas leaning back defiantly in his chair, Skip Huseman impeccably dressed by his side. She didn’t recognize the female judge sitting at the bench. She did recognize the witness, who was seated below the judge in the
witness stand—Judge Matthew Bach. Hard to know what to make of that.

  Barb Cloud and Jacob were seated at the prosecuting attorney’s table. Jake was questioning Judge Bach.

  “How long have you been a judge?” Jake asked, still seated at the table.

  “Three years.” Judge Bach was wearing a dark jacket, white shirt and dark tie. He looked distinguished, somber … different than Amanda was used to seeing him in her dreams.

  “And are you still on the bench?” Jake’s voice waivered, and he cleared his throat. Jake’s voice always cracked when he was nervous. It had to be intimidating to question a judge, more so with the crowd.

  “No.” There was shuffling as people reacted to this news. The former Judge Bach glanced down and clenched his jaw. As he looked back up, pain and anger seemed to have washed over his face, and Amanda was surprised how sad she felt for him.

  “Could you explain how you know the defendant?” Amanda wanted an answer to why he was no longer a judge, but she sensed that would come soon enough.

  “Mr. Thomas and I were teammates in high school. Hockey and baseball. We were co-captains of the hockey team. After high school, he and I had little contact until a few days ago.”

  “What was the nature of the contact a few days ago, and to which day are you referring?”

  Bach looked up briefly. “Actually, I ran into him about two weeks ago at the Y. He asked several questions about my personal life, and I was uncomfortable with that so I ended the conversation quickly.”

  Chuck Thomas shook his head and leaned over to his attorney at that. Almost imperceptibly, Skip Huseman put a hand up motioning him to stop.

  “Why were you uncomfortable?” Jake asked.

  “I would say that Mr. Thomas and I were not on the best terms in high school, and he and I had … we had words when we were in school about … uh … my personal life. I didn’t know why he would ask, and I didn’t want to have that conversation with him again.”

  “When you say ‘you had words in high school,’ would you say that you argued?”

  “Objection. Relevance.” Skip Huseman’s voice echoed so loudly in the cavernous courtroom that Amanda jumped. “It’s also leading on top of being irrelevant.” Skip’s voice dripped with condescension and disgust.

  The judge turned toward Skip. Her voice was soft but held admonishment. “Mr. Huseman. I have already established for the purpose of this hearing that there will be latitude. I have also established that if you keep interrupting, I will set maximum bail of $500,000 and that will be that.” Amanda was impressed with any judge who wasn’t afraid of Skip Huseman.

  “I’ll ask again,” Jake said, his voice growing in confidence from that small victory. “Would you say that you argued in high school?”

  “It was more than an argument. As co-captains of the hockey team we had to work together, but we tended to disagree frequently. Mr. Thomas wanted the team to be together on the ice and off. We were a very talented team, and we had a great chance of making it to state.” So strange to hear a man in his forties talk about his high school team like they were still a team. Amanda’s team won the state tournament, but she couldn’t imagine referring to her team like they were still a unit. She wondered who was more typical, but in this small town knew that he was.

  “So what was the argument about?” Jake asked.

  “In essence, he didn’t like my girlfriend.” Judge Bach shook his head and shrugged. “Mr. Thomas wanted the guys on the team to … date only certain girls. He didn’t think my girlfriend measured up. The first time he said something to me, I didn’t think he could be serious. He told me that I shouldn’t be with a girl ‘like that.’” He crossed and uncrossed his hands in front of him. “My girlfriend was like me. We were both poor, and our families didn’t have … status … for lack of a better word. Mr. Thomas thought I should be with someone with ‘status.’”

  “So was that the extent of the argument?” Jake asked, quickly glancing to his right in anticipation of an objection. None came.

  Matthew Bach hesitated and appeared to be composing his words carefully. “He had a party at his house after a playoff game that we had won. Chuck, er, Mr. Thomas had a lot of parties. Mr. Thomas had a girl that he wanted me to spend time with at the party, and he was angry when he realized that I had brought my girlfriend. When my back was turned, he told my girlfriend to get out of his house, but he told me that she left because she was mad at me. I knew that wasn’t true, and I knew that she didn’t have a car and wouldn’t just leave. I tried to follow her but she was long gone. I got in his face and told him I was going to be with my girlfriend no matter what. And he said …” Matthew paused, and the room grew still. “He said that I was not going to be with her, and that he was going to get rid of her.”

  The room reacted with shuffling and whispers. That Chuck Thomas would make a threat like that didn’t surprise Amanda a bit. Chuck shook his head almost violently. Skip Huseman didn’t move.

  “How did you take that statement?” Jake almost braced for the objection that never came.

  “It was a threat. At that time I thought he meant he would start a rumor or harass her in class.”

  “Did those things happen?” Jake spoke quickly, building toward something he knew was coming next. Amanda was holding her breath in anticipation.

  “There was never any opportunity,” Matthew said, his face growing dark and angry. “Her house burned to the ground that night.” There was an audible gasp from someone in the room.

  “Your honor!” Skip Huseman was on his feet, clearly surprised at this revelation. “This is highly prejudicial, not to mention libelous—”

  “This historical information is a necessary part of the argument of why bail cannot be granted—” Jake also rose to his feet matching Skip’s volume and tone.

  The judge lifted her hands and glared at both attorneys hard enough that they both stopped mid-sentence. “I will allow it in this context.” Her words were clipped, her anger apparent. Skip Huseman opened his mouth to argue again, but stopped when the judge put her hand on her gavel. Both attorneys sat back down with visible efforts to recompose. Amanda looked back at Judge Bach to see that his anger had morphed into visible sadness and regret.

  “So Ju … Mr. Bach,” Jake said, rearranging his papers and seeming momentarily lost. “What happened to your girlfriend?”

  “No one was hurt, but she dropped out of school and left town. That was the last time I saw her.” Matthew looked at Chuck when he said it.

  “Your girlfriend’s house burned to the ground, and you never saw her again.” Amanda knew Jake repeated the words for effect. “Are you aware if there was ever any cause determined for the fire?”

  Skip spoke quickly but with restraint. “Objection. Mr. Bach is not an expert on house fires and could only offer hearsay.” Jake started to reply, but she lifted her hand.

  “The objection is sustained.” She offered no further explanation, and Jake looked slightly flustered but moved on.

  “So now, Mr. Bach, please bring us back to the present. What did Mr. Thomas say to you a few days ago?” Jake turned around quickly to scan the room, and his eyes flickered when he saw Amanda. Now he clearly looked flustered, and Amanda wondered if she should leave.

  Matthew held his hands together in front of his chin, and he also looked clearly uncomfortable. “Last Friday, Mr. Thomas was arrested for criminal sexual conduct. I signed the criminal complaint. A few hours later the County Attorney’s office dropped the charges and Mr. Thomas was released.” Amanda’s face grew hot with shame at the news that the charges had been dropped. The feeling grew as she realized that everyone in the room might soon learn that it was her fault.

  Jake nodded and seemed to want to move on quickly. “Then what happened?”

  “Mr. Thomas met me at my car as I was leaving my office that evening. He told me that he held me responsible for the arrest, and he was going to sue the entire county. I kept walking.” Matthew held his hands t
ogether and rested his chin on his hands. “He followed me.”

  Chuck Thomas was shifting in his seat. He tried again to talk to Skip Huseman, but he raised his hand and Chuck sat back again. Jake was sitting up straight in his chair. “Then what happened,” Jake asked.

  Matthew shifted in the witness stand. “He told me that the arrest ruined his reputation. He told me that I needed to make sure that everything ‘went away’ with the child protection case. I told him that I couldn’t dismiss it and I wouldn’t. Then he, uh, he just lost it.”

  Jacob looked pointedly at Chuck Thomas. “Please describe what you mean when you say, ‘he lost it.’”

  “Mr. Thomas got very close to me and started yelling and pointing. He said he would take care of the case by himself, but I wouldn’t like that.” Matthew was talking quickly now. He looked agitated and seemed to just want to get his words out and get this testimony over with. “Then he threatened me personally. He said that he knew about me, and why I shouldn’t be on this case. He said that he would report me to the Board of Judicial Review because I didn’t excuse myself. I told him that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but actually he was right. I should have excused myself. I told him that he needed to stop talking to me about the case or it could be considered ex parte communication.”

  “Which means what exactly?” Jake asked.

  “Communicating with a judge without the other parties present. But he just kept talking. He said that all of this needed to end today, and he had already taken care of a big part of the evidence.” Matthew had been talking quickly, and he slowed down again. Chuck Thomas had been surprisingly quiet and was actually looking away from the judge, staring blankly at the back wall. “He just kept saying that he knew about me. Then he said, ‘you know what I’m capable of. You need to take care of this.’ I wasn’t sure what he meant. I hadn’t thought about that fire for a long time.”

  “The fire at your girlfriend’s house?” Jake glanced back around at Amanda again. At that moment, something tickled in the back of Amanda’s mind and her heart started to beat faster.