Embers of Anger (Embattled Hearts Book 1)

by Anna St. Claire

“When?”

  “When can we get married, silly?”

  “What about Sunday? That will give Cook and the mess sergeant five days to get the food put together. Is that enough time?”

  “Five days?” She was still smiling up at him, her lips swollen from that kiss. “Sounds good. I’ll get Lizzy to help me with the dress. Now I do need to go to town and talk to Sara. Her daddy can marry us, and she has to stand up with me.”

  “Well let’s go. I need to talk to Marshall when I get back.”

  “You also need to work things out with him. You kept him in the dark and made him feel like a fool.”

  “Has he told you that?”

  “No, but I know how I’d feel in his place.”

  Jackson was amazed at her ability to read Marshall’s mood. She was no shrinking violet. Living with her would make life interesting in this camp—for everyone. “You are right. It’s time we talked. He was next on my list.”

  “Go. I’ll wait. He is standing at the window up there.” She pointed to the bedroom Marshall had been staying in while his leg healed.

  He gave her a quick hug and scurried inside, taking the stairs slowly. Jackson rapped on the door to the bedroom Marshall was using. His mind was still grappling with how he could fix this rift with Marshall. He had hated lying to him.

  “Come in.” Marshall was brusque. He stood at the window with his back to the Jackson.

  Jackson started to make a joke but thought better. “I didn’t expect you to make this easy.” He took a deep, steadying breath. “I apologize. I was wrong on a couple of levels. But I’m especially wrong for leaving you—”

  “And helping to aid the enemy?” Marshall confronted Jackson. “You told me to release him in that cabin with Jason. Did you think I didn’t recognize him? He was a prisoner. A prisoner!” He thundered.

  Jackson’s face burned, and angry tension corded his neck. “Yes. I did. I mean no, I didn’t. Hell! I hoped you didn’t because I knew what I wanted to do, and I didn’t want to involve you in case I didn’t succeed.”

  “I’m not stupid. I won’t ask why you did it,” he spat. He looked at Jackson’s face and rolled his eyes.

  “Yes, there was that.” He crossed his arms over this chest. Marshall was treating him like he was a friend and a traitor. He swallowed.

  “All you will say is yes? There must be a better reason other than you lost your damn head.” Marshall blustered, holding onto his crutches and kicking the wall with his good leg. “Damn it! Your career would have been ruined.” He faced Jackson. “I never thought I’d say it, but you are a traitor,” he said, drawing up, his chest heaving.

  “I guess…” He started to reason with Marshall but stopped. “Yes. I am a traitor, but I think my reasons are worth knowing.”

  “More? There are more reasons?” He snorted.

  “Marshall, I admit to very strong feelings…”

  “Loving.” Marshall cut him off.

  “Yes, loving Ella. There, I said it. I love her. It happened. I can’t imagine anyone else for me. But it wasn’t all about Ella.” He hoped Marshall would listen with an open mind.

  “Get on with it.” His tone was gruff, but not as venomous as before. If the tone was any sign, Marshall’s voice gave Jackson hope his friend wanted to understand.

  “I should have brought this to you and talked more. But I knew your compliance could have cost you your life. That was something I would not risk. But I love her. And it’s more than the needs of the flesh. She challenges me, but in the best sense. Ella makes me feel alive. I see a future and am excited about it. And I spent a lot of time with her brother, trying to decide if he was even worth what I wanted to do, what I was risking.”

  Marshall stayed silent.

  “Whitford is very much worth saving. War rarely gives you a chance to know the men you want to kill. But if that could happen…” he blew out a long whistle of air. “I think the state of affairs would be a lot different.”

  His friend gave the smallest of nods, but Jackson caught it. He persisted. “The knowledge of what was happening with the Rebs that came home early, wounded, haunted me. People involved in those murders could be here on Silver Moon. We had no solid leads. Nolan might never have made it to trial.”

  “Hadn’t thought of that.” Marshall chewed on the inside of his mouth, a habit Jackson had associated with Marshall rethinking something. He hoped that was the case.

  “I’m not proud of what I did, Marshall. But I believe in what I did. I think it was the right thing for this situation.” He spoke, his voice sounded sober.

  “Yes. I can see that.” Marshall uttered, subdued. He extended his hand. “White, I mean Whitford, saved his sister’s and your life. Hell, even mine. He came back for both of us. He could have run.”

  Jackson clasped his friend’s offered hand. “Thank you, Marshall. Your friendship means a lot to me.”

  “I still need more time to square this. I’m angry because you left me out of this—” He waved his hands directionless about him. “—this plan of yours. And now I feel like I owe my life to a Reb.”

  “Not a Reb. An honorable man.”

  Marshall cleared this throat. “Your heart may have led the way, but I admit, your head was in the fight.” He shifted and reached into his pocket. “Anyway, picked these up for you.”

  “Cherry blend.” He placed it in his mouth. “I like some of the amenities here.” Jackson grinned, rolling the cigar around on his lips. “Here’s a match.” He pulled it from his pocket and lit both cigars.

  Both men stepped back and puffed for a moment, content to let the issue lay where it was. Marshall broke the reverie. “I think there is more brandy in the library. He hopped around with his crutches and held open the door. “After you.”

  Less than a half-hour later, Marshall and Jackson walked out of the library, laughing and chatting like they always had done. Ella stood at the door.

  “I’ve waited to tell Aiden. I thought you would tell him with me.” She smiled.

  “Go!” Marshall hobbled out from behind him. “Tell him, Jackson. We can finish talking later. I need to put my foot up. The stairs wore me out. Here behind your desk works great.” He grinned, taunting him. “Go on. The boy will be excited. He’s out back with Carter, I think.”

  “Thanks, Marshall. Hey, don’t scuff up my desk. It would be hard to explain the marks.”

  Jackson felt great. Marshall had forgiven him, and he had told him the truth. His friend understood. He shouldn’t be so surprised; he should have trusted him. They had always appreciated each other’s points of view.

  “Marshall, there's one more thing, I want to ask you."

  "Which is?"

  "Will you stand with me?"

  “Of course! I’m still not completely over this other business—mostly because I felt left out if I am to be honest. But yes. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Marshall hobbled over and extended his hand, signaling all had been forgiven.

  They found Aiden just where Marshall said he was. Aiden and Bo were working quite a system. Aiden held the cow’s teat, aiming the milk for the can but spilling half. Bo caught the milk that escaped the pail, lapping it up as fast as it squirted in his direction. Carter was laughing and trying to guide him at the same time.

  It struck Jackson that this was where he would want to bring up his own children, giving them this experience. He hoped the war would leave this home intact. He had been hoping for a lot lately.

  Clearing her throat, Ella addressed her brother. “Aiden, we have something to ask you.”

  He turned so fast that he shot poor Bo in the eye. “Like what?” Aiden let the teat go and stood up. Carter took his place.

  “Well, it’s actually both of us that want to ask.” He picked him up so that Aiden could be eye level with him. “What would you say if I married your sister and we became a family?”

  “Bo! I’m getting a colonel!” He screamed it in Jackson’s ear. “Sorry, but yes!” Aiden looked up,
all smiles. “You would be my other brudder, right?”

  “That’s right. A week from now, we will be family. We will live here with Carter and Lizzy and Ol’ Indie, whenever she visits. And we will be here when this war ends, and your brother comes home.”

  He put down Aiden and pulled Ella into an embrace. “That is if that meets your needs.” He whispered to her, so no one else could hear. “I plan to meet more than those needs.”

  “Well, one need I have is for a kiss.” As he pulled her close, she murmured for his ears only, “I cannot wait to have you meet my needs. I will be meeting yours, as well.” She leaned in and kissed him.

  Jackson was a happy man. He would be married in five days.

  Noise from the open kitchen door stole the attention of Bo and Aiden. “Cookies! Let’s go and get our cookies!” Aiden took off in a tear with Bo fast on his heels.

  “Jackson, the wagon is still out front. I need to run to town and see Sara. Are you coming?”

  Grinning, he picked her up and swung her around, kissing her on the cheek. “You bet I’m ready. Let’s hurry and we can get back before dark.”

  Hours later they returned to find everyone absorbed in activity. No one seemed to notice they were back. Not a soul was in the front of the house. Alone. Without overthinking the opportunity, Jackson pulled Ella back to him and whispered in her ear. “I don’t know if I want to wait...” He nodded towards her bedroom upstairs.

  Her grin and the quick kiss on his nose gave him his answer before she said a word. “Meet me in ten minutes. I’ll be waiting.”

  “Suh, before you go back in there, I have something for you.”

  Startled, Jackson almost cursed. He hadn’t heard Carter enter the hall and hoped the man had not heard his suggestive whisperings to Ella. “I guess I got carried away with my happiness and didn’t hear you walk in here. I apologize.”

  “Suh, you got nothing to ‘apologize ‘bout.” He looked around. “I got something for you.” He handed Jackson a folded piece of paper. “Massa Nole sent dis.”

  “I appreciate this. And I won’t ask questions. I’m just glad to finally hear from him. Thank you, Carter.” He opened the paper and glanced at it, noting the length. There was more than he had expected. I’ll read it later when I have more time. Let me just make sure he got back. He scanned it and smiled.

  Jackson went to his office and locked up the note. His thoughts drifted to Ella. She had been so thoughtful, waiting to tell her little brother with him there. It moved him nearly to tears. He was a lucky man.

  When he thought sufficient time had passed, he wasted no time heading upstairs. Moving discretely, he found Ella’s bedroom door unlocked and opened it. She turned around, a smile warming her whole face. She was waiting for him, and it nearly took his breath away. Quietly, he closed the door and turned the key.

  Ella stood behind her closed bedroom door and looked around, her arms holding her stomach. He was coming up to her room. Her room. Butterflies swarmed in the pit of her stomach and heat pooled between her legs at the thought of seeing him in here.

  She felt unprepared for these feelings, but she sensed something else would guide her. Instinct. She was too nervous to recall more than a couple of details from the candid and descriptive conversations about the act she and Lizzy had had over the last few years.

  Lizzy had always been there when couples married and committed their hearts to each other; she was there as their friend, and for many, a confidante. She had listened as they often related some of the more intimate details of their lives. She sometimes shared these matters with Ella. It was her way, she once told Ella, of sharing the knowledge her mamma would have given her if she had been there.

  She knew she only had a few more minutes. First things first! Swiftly, she moved to the washbowl and grabbed her tooth powder. While still brushing her teeth, she checked her reflection in the mirror and pinched her cheeks. Swiftly, she finished her teeth and pulled her brush through her hair, letting her locks flow around her shoulders.

  Her door opened, and she turned, giving a brilliant smile to her visitor. “Ella.” Jackson’s voice caught. “Beautiful. You are so beautiful.” His hands reached into her hair, and he combed his fingers through it. She loved the luxurious feel.

  Pulling her face to his, he lightly kissed her before adding more pressure to her lips, then totally covering them. His teeth nipped at her bottom lip, coaxing her, teasing her, until their tongues danced together, tip to tip.

  Moving her backward slowly, he lowered her onto her bed. Without breaking the kiss, he worked the buttons on her shirt and the ties on her chemise, freeing two pert breasts. He moved from her lips and took one of her breasts into his mouth. His other hand worked its way under her skirts until his finger found her warm, wet core. He moved his finger in a steady pulse, stretching her. She arched, pushing herself closer to him, to the promise of what, she wasn’t sure. She knew she wanted this, wanted him. But she needed to see him.

  She pulled herself up, propping up on one arm. “Take it off.” She nodded to his shirt and looked down at his pants. “First, the boots.”

  He stood up and pulled off his shirt. “I love this side of you.” Then, he sat down to pull off his boots.

  “Allow me.” She reached down and tugged, pulling one boot off and then the other. “Now your pants.” She gazed at him, waiting.

  Jackson divested himself of his trousers. His smalls followed. Unabashed, he stood in front of her.

  “You are beautiful. I fantasized about what you might look like without your clothes…” Ella swallowed, nervously. “I’ve wanted to see you without your clothes since that day in the library.” Hesitating, she looked up at Jackson. “Can I touch you?”

  He nodded. “Please but be gentle or this can end before it starts.”

  Not sure of what that meant, she reached over and touched him. “It is the softest skin, almost velvet.”

  At her bold assertion, Jackson reddened.

  Reacting to his blush, Ella pulled her hand away, but her gaze never left his face. Unconsciously, she licked her lips, the feelings in her body suddenly unbearable.

  Jackson moved towards her, pushing her back on her mattress. He tugged on her skirt, pulling it off and tossing it to the vanity chair. “I want you.” Smiling at her, he leaned in and claimed her mouth. His hand slowly stroked and kneaded her center. The steady pulse of first one, then two fingers slowly stretched her. Carefully, he moved his body over hers, adjusting himself between her legs.

  “This will hurt a little, sweetheart, so I will make it as quick as I can. Then it will be much better for you.”

  Biting her lower lip, she nodded, not altogether sure of what he referred.

  Jackson moved between her legs and positioned himself. Leaning down, he covered her lips with his. He moved slowly at first, pausing after each short push.

  Her eyes widened in surprise when he thrust into her. He covered her mouth with his own, suppressing her cry with a kiss.

  “That’s all the pain, sweetheart. It will feel better now. I promise.” He began again to move in a rhythm that, within a few slow strides, pulled her into tempo with him.

  They climbed higher together, their soft pants and kisses the only audible measure of the pleasure of their lovemaking. At the pinnacle of their ecstasy, she arched into him and shuddered, smothering a cry of joy. Jackson’s own body juddered after a final push. A moment later, he rolled over to her side.

  Ella stared up at the ceiling, trying to contain the erratic heartbeat that lovemaking had created. The area between her legs was wet and pulsed. It was a new sensation for her. This is what it feels like to make love and become a woman. She hugged herself and looked over at Jackson resting. “That was more than I ever knew it could be.”

  “And there will be much more, so much more for us.” Jackson leaned in and kissed her, again. “I should leave before we are discovered here and have to explain. I would rather not place you in that position. But I could
not let this opportunity pass. Ella…”

  “I loved every moment, Jackson.” She interrupted and pulled him towards her, covering his chin with kisses and nibbling on his bottom lip. Her body was still thrumming with need for him. “Maybe we could have another… opportunity.” She wanted more and shifted her body until she was close enough to feel his body responding to her invitation.

  “Minx!” Jackson pulled her tightly to him and drove deeply into her. Their pace moved together slowly, gradually becoming more frenzied.

  Ella’s mind swirled with feelings of joy and a feeling she couldn’t name. Completeness? She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the pleasure of his touch.

  Jackson sought her lips and kissed her deeply as she began to arch into him. His body spasmed, and his kiss muffled their exclaims of pleasure. A minute later, he laid his head on her chest.

  “Can you hear my heart beating for you?” Ella gently moved her fingers through his hair and down his neck.

  “My sweet Ella.” Jackson leaned up on one elbow and gazed at her. “I’ve think I’ve always been looking for you, and now I’ve…” A noise downstairs stole his attention and he bolted up, pulling her with him. “Perhaps we should get dressed now before Aiden searches for us.”

  “Mmm. You’re right.” She sighed. “I’m glad I won’t have to wait much longer to try that again.”

  “There is one more thing I want to tell you. Please, don’t ask me how I know this, because I cannot share. But Nolan made it back to his men just fine.”

  “Thank you.” She smiled up at him, her eyes watering. “I appreciate you telling me. I was worried about him.”

  “I love you, Ella. One day he will come home. Have faith."

  She nodded.

  Quietly, they dressed and left the room, one at a time.

  Ella woke up on Sunday morning, her stomach in knots. This was the day. She would be Mrs. Jackson Ross by the end of the day. She wished her papa and brother could be here, but Jackson had assured her that Nolan would be home when the war was over. Nolan had said as much in his letter to her. She knew neither one could promise such a thing, but Jackson’s faith in her brother comforted her beyond measure.