Burned (Cunningham Security Book 5)

by A. K. Evans

  But he didn’t know me.

  I wasn’t going to cry.

  I wasn’t going to breakdown and lose my shit.

  Because that was who I was.

  I was the strong one.

  Always the tough girl.

  And no matter how many times life would knock me down, I’d have no choice but to get up and keep moving forward. Because life went on even when you didn’t think you could. You had no choice but to push past the bad things that happened and continue on.

  It was on that thought, I lifted my head from under Pierce’s chin. I looked at him and apologized, “I’m sorry about that. I’m okay now. I should get back to work.”

  A look of confusion washed over him. “Zara, beautiful, I think you’re in shock.”

  I shook my head. “No, really, I’m alright. I mean, it was shocking news, and I know I had a slight meltdown there, but it’s fine now. Everything’s fine. You have to go to work. I need to get back to work. And then I need to figure out arrangements for flying back home for the funeral.”

  Pierce looked worried. “I’m going with you,” he announced.

  “What?”

  “I’m going with you back to Pennsylvania,” he clarified.

  “You can’t do that.”

  “I can.”

  “Why?”

  “Why?” he repeated, clearly flabbergasted by my question.

  “Yes, Pierce. Why would you do that?”

  His eyes searched my face a moment before he answered, “Because whether you want to believe it or not, this is going to hit you hard at some point. It might not be when you’re there, but if it is, I want to know that I’ll be there to take care of you.”

  My lips parted in shock. I pressed them together before I opened my mouth again and confirmed, “Really?”

  Pierce nodded. “I want to see you through this, Zara. I care about you and couldn’t possibly stay here knowing you might need me.”

  Wow.

  That was really nice of him.

  “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll call my mom tonight and get the details from her. Once I know what’s happening, I’ll call you. If the dates work for you, I’ll get the flights booked.”

  His face softened.

  “I really should get back to work,” I reminded him.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked.

  I wasn’t, but I had no choice. I had to be.

  I gave him a nod.

  Then, I moved from his lap and stood up. When he was standing in front of me, I began rambling. “Sorry about slipping into a comatose state, essentially forcing you to carry me upstairs.”

  “You better be joking, Zara.”

  I pressed my lips together in response.

  Pierce let me get away with that and followed behind me as I walked back toward the stairs to go back to my shop.

  When we reached the bottom, he turned toward me and brought his hand up to the side of my head, his fingers slipping into my hair. “If I’m going to leave here now, I need you to make me a promise.”

  “Okay?”

  “If you feel it happening, you need to call me. I don’t care what time it is or if you think I’m busy. I’m close enough to you that I’ll get here within ten minutes.”

  I stared up at him.

  “Promise me, beautiful. Promise you’ll call me if you need me. In fact, promise you’ll call even if you think you don’t.”

  “I promise, Pierce. Thank you.”

  Several hours later, I called my mom back. When I got off the phone with her, I started to have a bit of a panic attack. Since I promised Pierce I’d call him, I did.

  The phone rang once before I heard his voice coming through the line, “Zara.”

  “I’m freaking out,” I stated.

  Before I could say anything else, he replied, “I’m on my way.”

  “No, Pierce. It’s alright. I’m just…I just talked to my mom, and I have all the details, but I don’t know what to do with Callie. I don’t want to take her on the flight, but I don’t know where the best kennel is.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” Pierce assured me without a moment of hesitation. “And I’ll be there in a few minutes to help you sort the flight details.”

  I felt awful about this. “Really, Pierce. I’m okay.”

  “Zara, beautiful, can you let me help you? I’m on my way already. Just meet me at the door when I get there, please.”

  “Okay.”

  He disconnected, and I met him at the door less than five minutes later.

  When we were back in my loft, I apologized, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you come here. I was just hoping you’d have a kennel recommendation. I figured since you have a dog, you might know of a good place.”

  Pierce lifted his hand and wrapped it around the back of my neck. He gave me a squeeze and reminded me, “Zara, businesses are being torched. I don’t think it’s a smart idea to put Callie in a kennel right now.”

  Pain sliced through me and my body froze. I hadn’t thought of that.

  “What am I going to do with her?” I worried. “What are you going to do with Blaze?”

  “Blaze is going to stay with my parents,” he explained. “They’ve got a lot of land for him to run around, so he’ll be fine. They’d happily take Callie, too, but since she hasn’t been around them or Blaze yet, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  I nodded my agreement.

  “If you want her to stay here so she’s in a familiar place, we’ll have someone come in and check on her and feed her. If you are okay with her being at someone else’s place, which would be my suggestion, we can work that out as well.”

  “You know someone that will do that for me?”

  Pierce’s face softened and his voice was low when he answered, “I know a lot of people that will do that for you.”

  I took a moment to let that news settle in me. It didn’t even break the surface when I decided, “I think she’ll be safest staying at someone else’s place. I know this is my home and where she’d be most comfortable, but my business is right underneath. I don’t want to take any chances with her.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to Trent about taking care of her for you.”

  I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I feel awful about this.”

  Pierce gave me a gentle tug toward him. My body collided with his, my arms instantly going around him.

  “You’ll get through it, Zara. I’ll see to that.”

  I was too overwhelmed to reply, so I simply held on tight to him. Pierce held me for a long while before he urged, “Let’s get our flights booked.”

  The next morning, Pierce and Blaze didn’t pick me up for our daily hike. Instead, an hour and a half later than when they’d normally do that, Pierce arrived at my place with Trent Michaels, one of his co-workers at Cunningham Security.

  Apparently, after we booked our flights last night and Pierce left, he made a call. Trent, thankfully, was more than willing to look after Callie for me while Pierce made the six-hour flight back to Pennsylvania with me. I was already blown away by the kindness of a man I hadn’t even met; I didn’t know how I’d ever repay him.

  “Thank you so much for agreeing to take care of her for me,” I expressed my gratitude after introductions were made.

  Trent’s face warmed, and he returned, “It’s not a problem at all. And I’m sorry for your loss.”

  My loss.

  I couldn’t even begin to think about that if I was going to get everything done that needed to be done before we had to leave.

  Not wanting to be rude, but also not able to talk about it, I simply nodded in response.

  I was pretty sure Pierce realized I needed a minute to pull myself together, so he stepped in and took over. Squatting down where Callie had taken up residence at his ankles, he said, “Michaels, this is Callie.”

  I watched as Trent squatted down beside Pierce and slowly extended his hand to Callie. She was in no rush to meet someone
new, which I attributed mostly to the fact that she adored Pierce, and he was already giving her all the attention she wanted. After some time had passed, Pierce stood up and moved toward me, but Trent stayed down at Callie’s level. She eventually walked over to sniff his fingers. Within seconds, she dipped her head and pushed the top of it into his hand. He took that as her approval of him and started stroking her head and down her body.

  It was only then when I let out an audible sigh of relief. I hadn’t realized until that moment just how worried I was. Pierce wrapped his arm around my back, his hand closing around my shoulder where he gave me a gentle squeeze.

  After we gave Callie the time she needed to get comfortable with Trent, I gave him the details of her schedule.

  “She demands breakfast by seven,” I declared. “If you are even a minute late and don’t make that happen, she’ll let you know just how pissed off she is.”

  Trent let out a laugh and promised, “I’ll make sure I get on her schedule.”

  “Once you’ve given her breakfast, she’ll be good all day until it’s time for her dinner. As long as you can get that to her no later than six-thirty, she’ll be a happy kitty.”

  “Got it,” he replied with a nod of his head before turning his attention to Pierce. “What’s the plan for drop off?”

  “I was going to pick Zara and Callie up Friday morning at seven-thirty. We can drop Callie off with you that morning before you head into the office.”

  Trent shook his head and suggested, “I’ll get up and head in earlier. Since it’s going to be unfamiliar for her, I’ll keep her at the office with me on Friday. She can hang with me all day and then I’ll take her back to my place when I leave.”

  My heart.

  He was going to keep my cat with him at work so she wouldn’t be scared in an unfamiliar place with nobody she knew around to comfort her.

  I could feel the tears prick the backs of my eyes.

  Crap.

  I was going to cry.

  And I wasn’t going to be able to stop it. My hand flew up to cover my mouth just as I let out a sob. I pulled myself from Pierce’s arms and ran to the bathroom where I locked myself in. I put my back to the door and slid down until my bottom was on the tile floor beneath me.

  Get yourself together, Zara, I chanted in my head.

  I had to. I couldn’t break down like this. I couldn’t get attached. I couldn’t start depending on people to be there for me.

  As I continued to breathe through it, I heard a light tap at the door.

  “Zara?” Pierce’s voice called.

  I began wondering if I could just sit in here all day until he gave up and left. Common sense told me that Pierce wouldn’t leave, but there was a part of me that hoped he would. Because as time passed over the last couple months, I’d hadn’t been careful. I hadn’t protected myself and guarded my heart.

  I started depending on Pierce. I looked forward to him being there with Blaze every morning to brighten my day. The weekly lunch dates had become some of my favorites. Our conversations occupied my mind and his presence warmed my heart.

  This was not good.

  It would eventually end and I’d be left broken-hearted. Again.

  I had been sitting on the bathroom floor for several minutes after Pierce knocked. He never knocked a second time.

  After swiping at my cheeks to dry the two tears that had fallen, I stood and turned toward the door. Putting my hand to the knob, I turned and opened it.

  I couldn’t step out because standing in the doorway, looking worried, was Pierce.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Beautiful,” he whispered. “Why are you apologizing?”

  “I didn’t mean to run away like that. You must think I’m crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy; you’re hurting. It’s okay to feel that, Zara. I’m not going to judge you for it, and neither will Trent.”

  I tried peeking around Pierce, but he stopped me.

  “Trent left. I told him I’d reach out when we’re on our way with Callie tomorrow morning.”

  Unable to speak, I nodded my reply.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  After a few moments of silence, I answered honestly, “I don’t know.”

  Pierce gave me a knowing look as he reached his hand out to mine. I watched as his fingers wrapped around my hand and pressed into my palm. I continued staring as his thumb stroked over the back of my hand. And I forced myself not to succumb to the comfort he was offering.

  “What can I do for you?” he wondered.

  He was already doing so much, far more than I wanted to accept.

  “You’ve already done more than necessary,” I began. “I should probably get some things packed up before I head down to work, though.” I was hoping a distraction would help clear my head.

  “I’m not sure how I feel about leaving you alone right now,” he returned.

  He couldn’t be real.

  I appreciated his kindness and the fact that he was dropping everything to accompany me back home, so I didn’t want to kick him out.

  “You could keep Callie company while I get some things together,” I suggested.

  He gave me a sweet smile. “I’d love to.”

  As I got to work on packing up a few things for the trip, I had to admit to myself that I was in over my head. I did something I promised myself I wouldn’t do and let someone into my life. While I put clothes into a suitcase, Pierce watched me from the other room and cuddled with my cat. I felt his eyes on me the entire time, and being honest with myself, I was afraid to acknowledge just how much I liked the way that felt.

  The plane touched down in Philadelphia just before dinnertime. For the last two days I had been walking around in a daze, simply going through the motions.

  When I woke this morning, I found myself feeling even more detached from reality, and I had a feeling that tomorrow would be even worse.

  With a heart that was already breaking given the reason I had to leave her, it broke even more when Pierce picked me up this morning so that we could take Callie and drop her off with Trent. Considering I hadn’t spent a night away from her since I’d gotten her, it was especially difficult to say goodbye to my girl. Thankfully, she didn’t seem bothered by the fact that I was leaving, immediately making herself comfortable in Trent’s office.

  And he’d done a great job reassuring me that she was in good hands. In fact, by the time Pierce and I arrived at our departure gate this morning, he had already received a picture text from Trent. Callie had moved from her bed on the floor in the corner of the room to Trent’s lap. Once we boarded the plane, we had received a video message. Callie was being very vocal and Trent claimed he wasn’t getting any work done. I started to worry, but Pierce insisted Trent was just teasing, explaining that one of their other co-workers, Lorenzo, had recently gotten his girlfriend a French bulldog puppy. Ollie, the bulldog, came to work nearly every day with Lorenzo and he frequently caused mischief.

  I truly appreciated that Trent sent those messages because they offered a wonderful distraction from the very awful reason I was even taking this trip. Instead of focusing my attention on that throughout the plane ride, I found myself thinking about Callie and wondering whether she’d have the chance to meet Ollie. I also wondered, if that happened, how she would react and if she’d like him. I managed to do that successfully until I drifted off to sleep.

  I hadn’t slept well Wednesday or Thursday night as tons of memories flooded my brain. A few tears fell each night as I remembered the times I’d had with Nicola.

  Once I was on the plane, exhaustion must have settled in, forcing me to close my eyes and rest. But now that the plane had landed and I was back in Pennsylvania, my mind started wandering to unpleasant thoughts.

  This was not going to be a good weekend.

  I was not ready for this.

  Even still, I had to keep pushing forward.

  What other choice did I have?

  Prior to
flying out, I had called Gwen to let her know I was coming home. She was overjoyed at the thought of seeing me, but was truly devastated to hear about Nicola. Gwen hadn’t ever met Nicola, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t understand how hard I’d take that loss. In true Gwen fashion, she immediately offered to pick me up at the airport and the use of her car while I was in town. Since I would be leaving to head back to Wyoming on Sunday afternoon, she wouldn’t have to worry about how she was going to get back and forth to school.

  So, after grabbing our carry-ons, Pierce and I went to the baggage claim area where Gwen was going to be picking us up.

  She did not yet know that I brought Pierce back home with me.

  Gwen was the kind of girl that would love a surprise like that, and since she’d been having such a tough time trying to get pregnant, I figured she’d appreciate a surprise like this one.

  Pierce stood behind me as we rode the escalator down. I saw Gwen standing at the bottom waiting for me. I reached the end of my ride, stepped off, and walked over to her. Gwen wasted no time in wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tight. I held her back just as fiercely.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Z,” she said. “I’m so sorry about Nicola.”

  “Thank you, Gwen. I missed you, too.”

  She loosened her hold on me and stepped back. “Jason’s waiting out in the car for us. There was no good spot to park, so he said he’d wait out there with the hazards on.” She looked down at my side to see I didn’t have a suitcase. “Do you need to go to the baggage claim?”

  I shook my head and replied, “No, I just have my carry-on.”

  “Uh…Zara?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Where exactly is your carry-on?”

  I stepped to the side, turned my attention toward Pierce, and shared, “Gwen, this is Pierce. Pierce, this is Gwen.”

  Gwen’s eyes nearly fell out of her head as her jaw dropped.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Gwen,” Pierce said.

  She merely nodded her head slowly and returned a breathy, “Yeah.” Her eyes left Pierce and came to mine. “Where are you staying while you’re here?”

  “We got a hotel for the weekend. There was no way I was staying at my parents’ place,” I tried reasoning.