Lost Faith (The Firm Book 1)

by April Zyon

  Twenty minutes later he left things to cook in the slow cooker. The one appliance they’d brought with them for the mission. Mainly because it had been souped up by Rainer that they could remotely access it from their phones to change settings in case they were going to be late. Fucking thing was his greatest cheap buy ever.

  Heading upstairs, he went to his room, and with his hand on the doorknob he stopped. Son of a bitch! He really should have thought about it sooner and grabbed a change of clothing before leaving her in his room. But he’d been fighting his baser instincts and more than a little desperate to get out of there before she figured out he was a lot worse than she’d imagined. Now he wanted to cry, a little, because everything he’d brought was on the wrong side of the door.

  Tobias knew he could go raid Landon or Rainer’s stuff for at least the shower. Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything for the clothing he’d been wearing way too long. “Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath. He was a fucking trained military specialist. If he couldn’t sneak around the room without her noticing he should likely turn in all his accreditations. In his head, he made a list of what he needed. Soap and deodorant from the bathroom, shirt, and jeans from his bag. Three minutes, tops, with the need for care included. Taking a breath, he eased the door open slowly adjusting his hold on it to keep the squeak to minimum and slipped inside not bothering to shut it.

  Gabbie was standing beside the window when he walked in. Well hell, he had expected her to be fucking sleeping. She turned and looked at him with those sad eyes and it hurt him to know that he had put that hurt there. “I couldn’t sleep, I’m sorry. Do you need your bedroom so that you can have some sleep? I understand if you do. I can sit quietly if you need for me to.”

  “I was coming to grab some stuff for a shower,” he said. Shutting the door behind him since it was no longer necessary to sneak around, Tobias walked toward her. “Why can’t you sleep, Gabriella?” he asked softly. She looked exhausted but wired. He knew if she couldn’t wind down to rest she would eventually hit a wall and crash hard.

  “I keep seeing those images in my mind.” She had her arms wrapped around her middle and he watched as one of her long elegant hands wiped at the tears that were falling from her eyes. “I keep seeing what he did and then I think of him coming home to me on those days and playing with me. He would have tea with me, he would even play freaking Barbie’s with me. What kind of monster does that? I don’t understand how he could be two such different people.”

  Tobias didn’t know what to say to her to help her through this. He’d never been particularly good with words. Orders he could handle, no problem, they were logical and followed a set pattern. Dealing with emotionally traumatized women, he’d rather have his balls stuck in a vise with his greatest enemy in control of the pressure than try to navigate that minefield. Scrubbing a hand over his neck he finally did the only thing he could think to do, and pulled her into his arms, rubbing a hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

  That’s when her tears began to fall in earnest. She began to cry, sobbing against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly. He couldn’t understand why in the hell she was giving him so much trust, but he didn’t question it. He just held onto her like she was clinging to him. “If mom was still alive I don’t think he would have been this bad, would he?” She was crying hard and it was tearing him up inside. “He will face justice however, right?” she whispered.

  “I can’t say if your mother’s presence would have changed anything, Gabriella. I honestly have no idea. It likely wouldn’t have hurt to have her there but if a person is heading down a bad path, and they want to be there, it’s damn hard for anyone, even someone they love, to make them alter it.” He kept his mouth shut on her second question. Juan Moreno would face justice, just not the sort she was thinking. For the pain he’d caused his daughter alone, the man deserved to die as painfully as Tobias could come up with. Preferably a slow death but they did have a few time constraints that might not allow for something that drawn out.

  “I would like to think that it would have caused a slight difference but one never knows, right? Sadly,” she pulled back and looked up at him with tears shimmering in her eyes. “I think that the power went to his head, or something. I don’t know what happened to him but this is beyond anything that I could ever have imagined. I didn’t say anything about the drugs even though I should have but I didn’t because I figured that he was balancing things by giving to substance abuse charities but I guess I was very wrong, wasn’t I?”

  The man had never donated a penny to any charity. Giving wasn’t exactly in Juan’s wheelhouse. Taking, on the other hand. “He was likely laundering his money and used the charity as a cover for you. But all sources agree he’s tight with his money unless it was for you. You are his one and only weakness it seems.” One Tobias was trying damn hard not to exploit given all she’d been through to that point.

  “What? You mean he wasn’t even giving money to the charities like he said he was? Oh god.” He saw the pain in her eyes. “Jesus, he’s lied to me for my entire life. I can’t believe that he did that. He said that he gave to the charities to help babies that were hooked on the drugs that he was pushing, he said that he also enforced no selling to minors but that was all lies, wasn’t it?” She hurt, he could see her pain in her eyes. “God, he is a monster, isn’t he?”

  He didn’t even know where to begin with all her questions. In the end, all Tobias could do was nod slowly. From one heartbeat to the next he would have sworn he heard her very soul shrieking as she crumpled. Catching her up, he took a seat on the bed, settled her in his lap, and rocked her back and forth slowly while she wept even harder.

  It was a long time later before her tears slowed and she simply rested against him. He noticed that she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and then yawned. If he wasn’t mistaken, she was falling asleep. When her breathing deepened and her body went lax he knew that he was totally screwed, she had done just that. Fallen asleep in his arms.

  Stroking a thumb up and down her arm, Tobias waited until she was totally out before shifting her to the bed. He tucked her under the blankets and then headed for the shower. He left the door open in case she needed anything or had a nightmare. Tobias made his shower quick, drying off even quicker and hopped around, pulling on sweatpants with one eye on her. Gabriella’s face was scrunched up and she was holding onto the pillow under her rather tightly.

  After drawing the drapery, what remained of them at least, he laid down at her side. For a second he hesitated and then wrapped an arm around her to draw her in tight to his side. Immediately, her hands relaxed, as did her face. In fact, she snuggled even closer to him and if she hadn’t been under the blankets while he was on top of them, he had the distinct impression she’d have climbed him. Not exactly the worst idea around. Stroking his fingers up and down the arm she had resting partially on his chest Tobias let his eyelids drift down. Seconds later his mind slowed and he slipped over the edge into sleep.

  Chapter Seven

  When she woke up she was surprised to be held tightly against a very hard body. She wasn’t an innocent by any means but she had never slept with a man before in her life. She lifted her head slightly to look up at him, or rather down at him. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” Although if she wasn’t mistaken he had pulled her closer and she liked it. What in the hell was wrong with her? She liked being there in his arms, a lot more than she should.

  “Why apologize? You’ve slept for nearly eight hours, which is a good thing.” His arm tightened around her waist as he shifted his head on the pillow to face her more. “You needed the rest after all the shocks you received yesterday. Although, I’m guessing that rumbling noise isn’t a vehicle but your stomach sharing the news that you’re hungry finally.”

  “Agreed. I am hungry.” She told him and sighed. “Did you sleep as well? I hope that you did b
ecause I would feel horrible if you didn’t sleep and here I was slobbering all over your chest the entire time.” Now she was feeling embarrassed as well. Of course, she was. She had just fallen asleep on this man who had kidnapped her. What kind of woman did that?

  “I did sleep and you don’t drool. You do mutter occasionally though. Nothing specific and what I did catch sounded more like a grocery list than anything else. On the upside, you also had no nightmares, so I’d see that as a positive. Why don’t you use the bathroom first? When you’re done, I’ll get in there to get dressed while you’re out here dressing.”

  “That sounds good.” She didn’t have nightmares? That was truly a blessing indeed. She took a deep breath and whispered, “Thank you for being with me, for staying with me and ensuring that I was able to sleep and not have nightmares. I really think that it was you keeping them away. Now I just have to figure out how to keep them away after you are gone.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it for the time being. One step at a time here, Gabriella. Food being the first priority. You didn’t eat yesterday more than a mouthful or two of broth with that tea. We’ll get something a little more solid in your belly and then move onto step two. And no, I have no idea what that is yet. It will depend on what the team has discovered while we rested.”

  “Okay, sounds like a fair plan.” She took another deep breath and moved back away from him. “You’re right about my stomach growling. I’m starving, and even though I shouldn’t want to eat, I do. How weird is that?”

  “You need to keep up your strength, Gabriella. The next few days are going to be rough, not to mention what comes after that. For now, though, one day at a time. Don’t take too long. I drank a lot of water last night trying to rehydrate from the day and I’m regretting it with you bouncing around on the bed.”

  “Okay, so, you go and use the bathroom and then I will go after you and shower. Will you stay around so that none of your people shoot me? I’m assuming that there are at least two more with you because of how you manhandled me so easily. And don’t worry, I’m not stupid enough to leave this room without you, I know better.”

  “I won’t go anywhere, and all my people are outside the residence. We’re limiting exposure to you for when you eventually get your life, or rather modified life, back. The fewer people you see the less risk to our team.” He slid off the bed and headed for the shower giving her exactly twenty seconds to study the tattoos on his back and then he was out of sight. There were several, ones she wanted to get a closer look at for sure. Eventually.

  She sat on the bed with her knees drawn up and under her chin. He was a conundrum, he was handsome, his body was perfection, and those tattoos, god help her, she wanted to take her time in tracing every line on his body. She had no idea what was wrong with her but it had to be something, because no one lusted after a man who had kidnapped them but more than that, but a man who planned to kill her only family. She was a sick puppy and knew it.

  When he exited, he stopped dead in his tracks and tipped his head. “Gabriella, are you all right?” Slowly, like he was approaching a dangerous animal, he approached the bed. Reaching the side, he crouched down to look up into her face. He touched her one foot, his thumb stroking the arch while he waited for her to answer. The only problem was she didn’t know what to say.

  It took her several long moments before she was finally able to say something. “Your tattoos.” She chose a safe topic because, honestly, in that moment she wasn’t certain just exactly what she wanted to say to him. “Tell me about them? Your tattoos? Do they mean something?”

  He blinked and looked confused for a moment before he nodded. Moving his left arm to lay on the bed he pointed to the tattoo closest to his shoulder. “This was the logo our team had when we operated, our division and team number make it unique.” Coming from underneath it was a bald eagle in full color intent on whatever it was diving for. Below that were rows of words, the poem that had been his father’s favorite according to his mother. On his inner wrist were little dots and dashes in several intricate rows that he explained was Morse code for the team’s motto.

  Leaning back, he pointed to his chest explaining each as he went from pec to belly. Then he turned and sat on the bed so she could see his entire back. There was a dragon in the middle up his spine with the tail disappearing to his right under his sweatpants. On his left shoulder were rows of marks much like those used to count in sets of four vertical lines with a fifth through at an angle. Forty-six from her count. On his right shoulder was skull and crossbones. And along his lower back in a curve that seemed to cup the dragon, was an intricate and tribal looking design.

  “I have more on my legs but since I’m not wearing boxers it’s likely best I don’t show you those ones right now. Wouldn’t want to further traumatize you,” he said over his shoulder. She jerked back her hand when she discovered she’d touched him. “You can touch, Gabriella. I don’t mind.”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you.” She teased him and then lay her fingers along the dragon at his spine. “This is beautiful. What do the marks mean though, or is it something that I really don’t want to know about?” She was stroking her finger along the back of the dragon and toward the tail that lead to his sweats. “You are amazing, your body is spectacular but there is something else that I can’t quite put my finger on. I don’t know what this is but there is something different about you than any other man that I’ve ever known before, and certainly none of them kidnapped me.” She teased him, at least she hoped he realized she was teasing him.

  “I’m not even sure how to respond to that,” he muttered. His shoulders were shaking slightly and he had a small grin on his face that she could see over his shoulder. Then he let out a sigh and reached back to touch the marks. “I probably shouldn’t tell you even this much but what the hell, right? Those mark the days I was held prisoner during an op that went sideways more than anyone could have imagined. It’s where I got the stab wounds and the slice on my right arm.” He touched the three white marks on his left rib cage.

  “I’m so sorry.” She whispered and stroked her fingers over his injuries. “I don’t know why but I’m so sorry that you were injured. I have no idea why I feel that way but I do. I’m so sorry.” She told him honestly and let her hands once more move over his back. “The dragon is amazing. I have a small dragon on me. It’s a very tiny red one. I couldn’t get too large of one because then my father would have found out and killed the man that gave it to me.” She shrugged. “Dragons are protectors, are you a protector?”

  “I was for a long time before things changed. I suppose on some level I still am, I have a code I live by and which the team must abide by to work with me. Not sure if that still makes me the good guy or a not quite so bad guy. Likely depends on point of view.” Shrugging he turned enough for him to look at her without straining his neck.

  “And I’m in the unique position that I see you as both.” She admitted. “You’ve been kind to me, haven’t mistreated me, you’ve been actually very good to me. I can’t see you as bad, not fully. Yes, I realize that you took me to get my father out of his compound so that you can kill him but sadly, I understand that as well. Then again, maybe I’m the one who has a few screws loose.”

  “We all have a few screws loose. Anyone that claims otherwise is likely the craziest one in the room. Acknowledging faults goes a long way to making you a better person. Not always, but it doesn’t hurt either. Go take your shower. I’ll be right here when you get out. With more clothes on but still in the room.”

  “Thank you for bringing my bag, it only has one change of clothes and its not exactly something that you would wear around. Would you mind if I wore one of your shirts instead of the skimpy shirt I have in my bag?” She really didn’t want to wear her clubbing clothes or the clothes she had worn out of the house and those were all she had with her.

  “If you want to change out of your clothing we can do a load of laundry. Or if you want one of
my shirts you can do that too. No one else will be around. It won’t matter what you’re wearing as long as you are comfortable.”

  “I will take one of your shirts and maybe my pants from my bag and then do the laundry. Thank you.” She started to move away from him but stopped herself. Instead she reached out and touched the emblem on his shoulder and nodded, “I’m going to go with my gut and believe you are a good man, I hope you don’t prove me wrong.”

  “I hold the same hope, Gabriella. Go and shower. I’ll run downstairs to start the coffee and then come back up to get you.” Lifting her hand from his arm he gave it a light squeeze and let her go. “Feel free to dig through my bag,” he added already slipping through the door.

  “Thanks.” She was shocked that he was letting her go through his bag. Damn, too bad he had told her that there were no weapons, she was still going to look, however. She was trusting this man, but she was still being held captive. She began to go through his bag and didn’t find anything, dammit! She wasn’t going to complain however because thus far he had been good and kind to her but still, she was a captive. She did however find a shirt and pair of drawstring jogging pants that would work well to help keep her warm.

  Once she finished with her shower she was sitting there on the chair by the window and waiting for him to come back to get her.

  He knocked on the door before easing it open to peek around the edge. When he saw her, he pushed it open and held out a hand. “They are sucking up, they had a fresh pot on and breakfast is already on the table. You’re not a vegetarian, are you? If you are, we might need to figure something else out.”

  “No, I like meat as much as the next person.” She said with a grin. “But coffee, god, I think I would kill for a good cup of black coffee right now. My head is killing me and I think that caffeine would help it.”