Lost Faith (The Firm Book 1)

by April Zyon

  “This is very true. I tried, god I tried but then you were real with me and not the badass who took me. You were honest with me and showed me just the monster that my father was. That’s when I knew it, when you touched me and held me. When you let me lose my shit even though you didn’t even know me. You are impressive, very much so.”

  He barked out a harsh laugh. “Hardly. You are the impressive one. The fact you are handling all this with as much composure as you’ve shown, shocking to me. Most people, men and women, who haven’t had any training tend to have some bravado for a time but eventually they break down. Then you find out who’s underneath. But you, even with your tears, are still strong and determined to see things righted that have been wronged.”

  She shrugged and with a sad smile said, “Believe it or not, that was taught to me by my father. Before I went to high school and college abroad. I think that when I was gone he got lost and by being lost he turned into a power-hungry monster. I can’t help but to feel slightly responsible about this, but then I realize that no, it’s all on him because he’s a grown assed man. Right?”

  “Right,” he said. “But it doesn’t stop you from feeling guilty on some level, does it? He’s your father and your mind won’t let the ‘what ifs’ go. It keeps going round and round with every possibility there is. Yet no matter how you look at the problem you have to realize that he started this long before you were born. That while he may have tapered off while you were living in the house he never truly stopped. And once you were out it was like the flag before the bull to put everything back into high gear right in his own backyard once more.”

  “This is very true. I think when mom died he pretty much lost the only hint of humanity that he had left. I think he played it up for me, he tried for me and I get that. He hasn’t been the same for a long time now. Yes, he’s my father and I’ve given you the keys to kill him but I think that it will be a relief to him. That’s how I’m choosing to think of it.”

  “I wish I had the words to make this easier for you. I can’t lie Gabriella, when this goes down you are going to feel it. The finality I mean. Right now, it’s useless sitting around talking about what’s going to happen. But when it finally happens and that reality kicks in, know that I’m here for you, or if you need time I’ll step away. We don’t know how this will affect you, not yet anyway.”

  “I know. I already feel it.” She admitted to him. “I know how odd that sounds but it’s true, I feel it and it hurts. I can’t lie about that but I also can’t lie about how I’m feeling about you right now. I feel far better having you touching me then I would if you weren’t here. If there was anyone else I know I wouldn’t have done anything to help them, I know that I wouldn’t. I helped you because I feel our connection and know it’s right.”

  “I sure as hell hope you feel the same in a few hours.” Gently he pulled her into a hug, both his arms wrapped around her and holding her tight. His cheek rubbed against hers as he pressed a kiss against her neck. “This, what’s between us, I don’t want to lose.”

  “I don’t either.” She told him honestly. She hugged him as well and closed her eyes. “I don’t think that we are going to lose it. I really don’t. We both want it far too much for it to not work out. I know that we will be okay. It’s just going to be time and talking.” She just prayed to god that he still felt that way when the job was over as well.

  “Probably should mention at this juncture that talking isn’t actually one of my best qualities,” he muttered. Tobias leaned back to look at her, his hands coming to rest on her hips. “I’ve had more conversations with you than any other living soul out there. Rather impressive when you think that you’ve managed that feat.”

  “It’s okay, I can go for days without saying a word.” She admitted to him. “But when I’m ready to talk I will make you talk to me.” Although she had a feeling that he would talk to her without worry. “I have a feeling that I don’t have to worry about it, however.”

  “No, I don’t believe you will need to worry about it. Around you I seem to have a greater issue of shutting up than speaking. This could end up being a rather interesting endeavor,” he said. Cupping her cheek, he pressed a kiss to her lips. “Personally, I can’t wait to see where we end up without all this insanity around us.”

  “I agree. So, how about that seven days that you wanted for me to take you come with me on the cruise? What better protection than having you with me?” It sounded very good to her, actually. “We can even have separate rooms if you insist or a suite perhaps? That way we aren’t sleeping together, darnit all.” Oh, she wanted to sleep with him. She wanted to do a hell of a lot more than sleep with him.

  “If we are on the same boat Gabriella, we are damn well sleeping together. Not that there will be a lot of sleep occurring. We also won’t be seeing a lot of anything they show on the cruise since I really don’t plan to let you out of the room at any point if I can avoid it. Still want me to go with you on this thing?”

  “Holy crapballs, you so have me there.” She told him simply. “I’m more than happy to miss everything except the breeze coming off the seas and onto our suite. I want that with you, only if they do room service as well because I think that we could both keep each other company and not have to leave the room once in the seven days.”

  “Pretty sure they do room service, sweetheart. It’s something we can check into before we book anything. We may determine a hotel suite with a view, or a secluded island getaway suits us better. We still have to finish up here, get you into the states, and then close out things at that end. It’ll be a week minimum before I can get away anywhere. And all that’s dependent on nothing having gone to hell back home.”

  “Good point. That and you have to convince your people that I’m not taking advantage of you. You know,” She hesitated and then chewed her lower lip. “Perhaps you should take those seven days from me so that you can convince them that I haven’t cast a spell on you or whatever.”

  “Is that what you’ve done? Cast a spell upon me? They wouldn’t buy that for an instant. Well, the majority anyway. I don’t think I can let you out of my sight for seven days. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking to suggest it in the first place. Seven days would drive me around the bend.”

  “I don’t think that I could let you out of my sight for that long either. And no, I didn’t cast a spell on you, I simply showed you who I am and you let me see who you were and we both seemed to fit. It’s like we found our missing halves inside of each other. But you have to figure that they will question what’s happening between us.”

  “Oh, I’m sure they might have questions, and I definitely know that they will have some remarks that likely border on the obscene. Don’t take any offense, in fact if you can give as good as you receive then you will fit right in. Sarcasm is pretty much our main mode of conversation. It can get rather deep in the snark when we’re all together,” he said. A clear warning, she understood.

  “I will keep that in mind. I doubt that I will have to worry about it for a while, however. I seriously doubt that I will meet your team anytime soon.” Which was the truth. She didn’t think that he would introduce her to his team until they were well and truly done with the mission.

  “You’ll have the pleasure, or the misfortune depending on how you’re looking at it, to meet them all on the flight home. Once we’re off the ground they won’t need to conceal their identities any longer. Mainly because anyone that might come after us should be in the rubble, and you’re now part of the gang.” Tobias pulled out a jug, gave it a sniff, and then poured two glasses, passing one to her. “Lemonade,” he said when she held it at arm’s length.

  “Yes, please.” She told him when he offered the lemonade. “I’m glad that I’m on the inside and not going to be buried in the rubble with everyone else.” She simply hoped that she would be able to gain their confidence, as well as his. She wanted to be a part of his life and that meant getting along with his team.

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nbsp; Putting the jug away he moved closer to her, and set a hand on her back. “It will be fine,” he said softly. “They will adore you. While they may not show it immediately there’s no way they could resist being enchanted by you. You don’t hide behind the facade many people do.”

  “Why hide when being the real person that you are is the only way to do things? It’s much harder to try to hide behind a facade instead of simply being the person that you are. So, I am just me, period. Either people will like me or they won’t.”

  “Exactly,” he agreed. “Finish up and stick the lasagna in the fridge. I’ll start the cleanup and then we can figure out what the hell we want to do for the rest of the day. Which means you also have to come up with something for us to do that allows us to pay attention to the team.”

  “Well, hell, and here I was hoping that we would be able to spend time naked.” She tried to pout but couldn’t pull it off. “We will play some more cards. I’m pretty good at go fish so maybe we will play that instead of poker since I obviously am not so good with that part.”

  “I’ve had a few more years’ worth of practice than you, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I will teach you everything I know and then set you loose on the unsuspecting. I have the feeling you might just be able to pull off a wide-eyed beginner’s luck spiel for a couple rounds. By that point, they’ll be suspicious and you can swoop in for the kill. They won’t play for money with me anymore. Don’t really understand why either. It’s not like they don’t all have a long lifetime to pay up on their debts owed.”

  She snorted and shook her head. “They won’t play you for money anymore because to be perfectly honest, you are scary good. I’ve never seen anyone who could count cards as well as you can.” And she had to think that was what he did, that he was counting cards.

  Tobias smiled at her and shrugged, but didn’t dish on how he did it. “I’ll get the water started for all the various dishes. Shouldn’t take us long to tidy up and that’ll give us the balance of the afternoon to ourselves. Depending, naturally, on how fast your father can round everyone up.”

  “It won’t take long. Once he calls them they typically all are there as fast as they can get either via car or plane. Trust me, he doesn’t play around when he calls in his men for meetings and I’m sure that he’s put even more pressure on them to hurry since money is missing.”

  “Yeah, but he’s a smart man which means he wouldn’t share that detail with them. Or at least not where the money is missing from and the like. Some do have farther to travel in, and given he doesn’t permit air traffic of any sort near or over the compound that means they all have to travel via roads. Even if they all started immediately after the call went out there’s still a three-hour delay in a couple cases. And the team hasn’t reported anything in the way of the closest one showing up yet, which he should have if your father put out the call promptly. I really wish we had ears in that damn compound, it would make this all much easier. There’s a lot of variables that have to fall perfectly into place for this to work.”

  “Oh god, why didn’t I think of that?” She whispered and sat up. “Pull up the diagram of the estate again, please.” She whispered and began to pace. “Daddy had Bluetooth speakers put in all around the house. They not only will play but listen in. He’s always been super paranoid about what his people say about him. You should be able to piggyback on that signal if you are able to catch it.”

  “Do you know the make and model?” he asked. Tobias was already easing into the chair set before his laptop when he asked her. “Because depending on what he has we might, and that’s a very slim might, be able to get something. This is a long shot but here’s hoping.”

  She told him what the make and model was and watched the slow smile crossover Tobias’s face. “I take it that is a good thing that he had that model put in?” She asked and took the seat at his side. “I really hope that it helps.”

  “It’s a top of the line model,” he said. Leaning in he chewed on his lip while his eyes darted back and forth obviously reading something. After a couple of minutes, he spun to grab a roll of blueprints and he gave them a once over. “Shit, it’ll be damn close but I think we can do it. Given the size of the compound there’s roughly twenty feet outside the perimeter wall in two places based on the house location where we can pick up the signal. We’ll need to plant something near the wall in one of the zones to boost the signal out to a receiver that we can then listen in on. Best place will be, surprise-surprise, pretty much where you left the compound from. Only issue we might have is the team may not have the equipment on them to do this.”

  “Darn. I’m sorry. I was trying to help you.” She told him and reached out to run her hand over the back of his neck. “I guess that we just go off what we can see, instead?” She had done all she could to help them.

  “You are helping, don’t think anything less. I’ll check in with the team and see what they have with them for gear. Even if they don’t have the exact parts we need we might be able to fashion something that will work basically the same.” He slipped his arm around her waist and tugged her onto his lap, pressing a kiss to her cheek once she landed on his thigh.

  “I just hope that you are right. I really want to be free from this life. I never realized until you showed me just what a monster that he was, and just how horrible I was for staying with it.” She whispered as she leaned against him. “I’m a terrible person and I know that I have to live with myself and all that I let slide by. Thank you for saving me from myself.”

  “You are not a terrible person, Gabriella. The human mind is designed to deal with things in a quite predictable manner. We are naturally creatures who were created to survive in any conditions by adapting to them. You merely adapted to your situation by turning a blind eye to things you were uncomfortable or scared to think about too long. I’m not judging you, just stating facts. You did what was necessary to survive in the conditions surrounding you.” Tobias hugged her closer, tucking her head under his chin. “Never beat yourself up for doing what you had to do to get to where you are now.”

  “I hope that you are right.” She had a feeling she was going to need therapy. She knew how stupid that sounded in her own mind and how silly she felt because of being the poor little rich girl, but she still was sure that she would need something eventually to help her adjust to living life, period. “I am happy that I’m going to have you in my life, very happy. I think we are going to have a good time.”

  “An extremely good time if I have anything to say about it. And since I do, you can bet on it.” Leaning back, he cupped her cheek in one hand, and rubbed his thumb to her lip. “Get everything tucked away,” he said before giving her a gentle kiss. Then he stepped away and went back to the sink to start washing up the odds and sods they’d used during their prep.

  Once they had finished cleaning their dishes up and the kitchen was back to rights she nodded. “Okay, well I think we have everything cleaned up. Do you want to bring the laptop with us so you can keep an eye on your team?” She had no idea where they would go but she knew he was nervous about his team right now.

  He gave her the crooked smile she found she liked. It made her insides do flips and flops each time she saw it. Drying his hands, he collected the laptop, his earpiece, and then held out a hand to her. “Let’s go upstairs where we can both stretch out in comfort while we wait for things to play out. I sent off the information about his Bluetooth system so here’s hoping they actually have what they need to make it work.”

  “Here is hoping that they will have what is needed as well. Are you certain that us going upstairs and getting in bed will be a good idea? Personally, I think it will be an awesome idea to get onto a bed with you but that’s just me.”

  “It’s the perfect idea. We can get comfortable, close, watch a movie and I can put the team on an alert, so that if anything pops up I know immediately. There’s still a few hours before the big stuff will go down, and while that couch isn’t the worst thing I
’ve ever slept or sat on it’s definitely not as comfortable as it was when we first got here. We’ll be staying dressed,” he added.

  “This would be good. I know that I always get chilled easily. I just blame the fact on my heritage via mom’s family. She was an English lady, did you know that? Daddy came in and swept her off her feet. I’m all that’s left of her family line. That kind of sucks, don’t you think?”

  Letting her go through into the bedroom first he followed shutting the door behind them. “It does at that, but who knows what the future holds.” After setting everything down on the bed he climbed up and went to work on the laptop before finally turning it to her to choose the movie they’d be watching. At least until they both fell asleep.

  She moved so that she could cover her body with the blanket and nestled in close to him. “This is so nice. Just having you this close to me and having you hold me. I like it.” At least he didn’t have to worry about what she was thinking because she blurted out the most random of thoughts. Damn she really needed to get a grip on that because she was sure he wouldn’t want his friends to know her every little thought as well.

  Tobias adjusted the blanket to cover her neck and then cuddled her in closer. Once she’d made her pick, not like it really mattered, he got it playing. Gabbie noticed he put his earpiece into the shirt pocket, likely to ensure he could hear it if it gave off one of its beeps.

  Gabbie’s hand was on Tobias’s chest and she stroked his chest lightly as she did so. “I love this. Just being here having you holding onto me.” She knew how soon it was for a relationship between them however to be honest she knew that’s what they were working toward. They were working toward a very intimate and long-lasting relationship and she liked it. A lot. She had a feeling that this man was who and what she had been missing all her life.