The Secret Lives of Emma: Distractions

by Walker, Natasha

  ‘I trust him.’

  ‘But can you rely on him to behave in the most reasonable manner? Do you feel you can predict his behaviour? If you don’t want to lose respect for him, don’t force him to show his cruder, underdeveloped thinking. He is certain he knows the truth about the world and that is that. And you, you eloquent womb, are drawn to it like a moth to the flame.’

  ‘Eloquent womb?’

  ‘Your womb appreciates a man who knows things for certain. It’s biology! Being right has nothing to do with it. Every brutish, opinionated bore finds a wife.’

  ‘That’s ugly,’ she said.

  ‘You married him. I just ask – Why?’

  Emma was silent. Fuming. Then she said, ‘He is your friend.’

  ‘I’d never marry him. I’ve never agreed with a thing he’s said, or thought. Would you marry silly Sally?’

  ‘I think you should go now,’ said Emma.

  ‘Are you serious?’

  Emma just nodded. Her eyes were darker than he had ever seen them.

  ‘I’m not leaving. Fuck you, I don’t deserve this! Did I find a soft spot? Jesus! And after we had just described this bullshit behaviour, too. It was irrational to marry him. It was. You know it. And all I did was force you to hear the truth. You just bloody well ignore it. Eloquent womb, I got it in one.’

  Emma just stared at him, speechless.

  ‘I’m the kind of man you want. I’m him. You described your man years ago and I am him. I can handle all you’ve got to dish out and more. I just don’t make the money. Your precious butt loves to sit on finer stuff than the camp stool.’

  She still said nothing.

  ‘Well, you know what? I am going to go. You can climb back into his big black pot and stew for a bit. The cannibal will be back for his dinner soon.’

  With this parting shot he swung around, knocking the table on which his coffee cup had stood. The cup rocked from side to side but his hand was quick and stilled it. He gave her one last look and walked off.

  A few moments later she heard his ancient Alpha Romeo start up noisily, and with an authentic guttural roar, he was off.

  TWENTY-SIX

  Emma spent the rest of the day in shock. When David arrived home she took him in her arms. They held each other for far longer than they had for some weeks. Emma wanted desperately for her relationship with David to work. She was at her wits’ end trying to discover what it was she was doing wrong.

  ‘What has happened to us?’ she managed to ask softly, her cheek pressed against his shoulder, the corner of her mouth brushing the soft fabric of his suit coat. The moment required no subtleties, she needed only to know. Paul’s attack had rattled her. She needed her husband’s view.

  ‘Everything’s fine, Em,’ he said. He had had no inkling she was unhappy with their relationship. They had been better than ever lately, hadn’t they? All they’d been doing, all day every day, was having sex.

  Emma sighed with relief. His tone was sincere. He’d seemed surprised. She knew everything wasn’t fine, but she stifled all of her objections and hugged him back tighter.

  David broke from their embrace and said he was going up to change. She followed him up. Once in their room, having watched him take off his suit coat and tie, and kick off his shoes, Emma led him to the bed. She wanted some greater assurances that their relationship was not unravelling before her eyes. She pushed him on his back and sat straddling his hips.

  ‘You’d tell me if you were unhappy with me,’ she said, looking down into his eyes.

  ‘I love you, Em,’ he said, somewhat bemused by her apparent anxieties. And happy, too. This was proof that she did love him as he loved her.

  ‘That’s not what I asked,’ she said, squeezing him between her thighs.

  ‘I am happy with you,’ he said. ‘You have no reason to worry.’

  ‘Why have you been so distant?’ she asked.

  ‘I haven’t.’

  ‘You have.’

  ‘I haven’t, really,’ he said, colouring slightly because he suddenly realised that he probably had been. Surely she couldn’t know who he had been thinking about. There had been a phone call that very afternoon.

  ‘You have. I’ve felt it. You have,’ she reiterated.

  ‘I’ve been busy at work. Umm … We’ve been fucking so much we’ve barely had time to talk.’

  ‘We did it to fill the silence,’ she said.

  ‘I didn’t. I can’t get enough of you.’ Which was kind of true. He was so excited by his plans that he was constantly aroused.

  David had finally spoken to Sally only an hour before leaving the office. The conversation was very strange, but utterly erotic. She had kept him at a distance, had spoken to him as though Emma and the Pope were in the room. Their conversation was short and reached no conclusion. Nothing was arranged, nothing was said. David was absolutely sure though, by the time he hung up the phone, that he had a lover.

  ‘I thought …’

  ‘You thought wrong, Em. I know you’re a genius, but you can be mistaken. I can just want you, can’t I? Pure and simple, stupid and physical, lust. Can’t we be superficial too? Can’t we fuck just for the fucking glorious pleasure of fucking?’ he said, feeling his normal buoyant self after days and days of mental preoccupation.

  Emma laughed and let the man pull her down to kiss her. His kiss was full and deeply felt.

  Later that night, Emma and David sat side by side near the back of the cinema in Mosman. They were there to see a film of David’s choosing, a thriller of lukewarm standing in the papers. Emma was more than happy to settle into the seat, snuggle up against her husband and turn off her mind for two hours.

  David, meanwhile, was feeling powerful. His life had taken a turn. He had reassured his wife of his love for her the same day as he had taken a lover. The future was now more complicated than it had been. His perfect wife had been tarnished slightly by recent events though the thought that she was inherently unsound was difficult to admit. Had the first golden shine of marriage dimmed? Was that all? Had this moment been inevitable? He was more a realist concerning marriage. Nothing lasts.

  This thought made him catch his breath. His fortune was surely based on one certainty: the continuation of his marriage, which meant, when stripped of ceremony, having Emma in his life. The thought that there may be a future when he might wake and have no access to Emma stopped him short. His mind had been leaping merrily ahead of itself. He had beautiful Emma and beautiful Sally. He was congratulating himself on being a realist when he knew, he just knew, by taking Sally as his lover he was hastening the end of his marriage. The coward within sighed in relief. The coward might set up house with Sally. Good, dependable, unimaginative Sally. He shuddered at the thought and yet this, the coward believed, was his future.

  And if Emma would not give him a child, Sally most certainly would.

  He loved Emma. He could feel it more now, now that he was preparing to be unfaithful. The thought thrilled him. To cheat on a wife you’re growing tired of is one thing, to cheat on a woman who excites and challenges you more than any other, is another thing altogether. He had no need of Sally. He was being a glutton. This was exciting. Very exciting. He was gambling his wife – high stakes indeed.

  They sat in the cinema watching the trailers when David took Emma’s hand and brought it to his crotch. Emma found his cock was hard.

  ‘What is this, another present?’ asked Emma.

  ‘Yes,’ he said.

  ‘But you’ve given me so much already,’ she said.

  ‘I’m feeling generous,’ he said, actually visualising them in the public toilets downstairs.

  ‘Shall we go back home?’

  ‘Wait until the movie gets going …’ he said.

  ‘You want to do it here?’ she asked.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘What’s got into you?’

  ‘It’s a full moon.’

  ‘It is not,’ she said. She looked around the cinema.

>   ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Looking for another woman for you. I’m no match for you.’

  ‘Good idea.’

  ‘Bastard!’ she said, and squeezed his cock through his pants. Emma was very pleased with David. The man’s vitality was ceaseless lately. He’d been seemingly driven to fuck. Now that she was assured that she was the cause of his appetite, that her anxieties were hers alone, she was far more accepting of his desires. He excited her. David had indulged her penchant for lewd acts in public only rarely. Paul had always been more obliging. David’s current mood seemed to suggest he was willing to be caught out, so she undid his fly and gripped his cock in the flesh. He looked around automatically.

  She began to pull him with a tight grip. His nervousness encouraged her, though she was glad of their position. No one was behind them and their row was empty. The theatre had barely thirty people in its seats. Emma looked around again. She wondered what she might be able to do to him. Could they get away with fucking? Why had she worn jeans? His cock felt so fine in her hand. She was in a theatre she had been patronising all her life. There had been so many sensual episodes lived out in this very cinema. David’s was not the first cock she had held here. But she was an adult now. Adults share in the great conspiracy. Adults become participants in the social order. Adults uphold normality. But that also exposes one to an adult humiliation.

  Emma knew that the fear of humiliation was greater than the humiliation itself. She’d been caught before. She’d be caught again. Embarrassment often fell more heavily on the head of the unlucky observer than on the bare bottoms of the offending couple. But the fear of exposure never abated. It grew more intense with each passing year. Emma’s hand trembled.

  She saw two dark figures emerge from the entrance beneath them. The figures walked purposefully across the theatre to climb the stairs of the far aisle. David closed his eyes, his wife’s grip was practised. Emma saw that the couple were paying them no attention. She watched them sit in the back corner. She hoped David’s bulk would block them seeing her, but she couldn’t be sure. This new couple was the only pair seated behind them, albeit on the opposite side of the theatre.

  Emma tested the water. She was shivering, a combination of the air-conditioner’s effect on her and her own trepidation. She looked up in their direction as she lowered her mouth to her husband’s cock. If she couldn’t see them, surely they couldn’t see her. But as she continued to suck her husband the image of the male’s face presented itself before her.

  She lifted her head again slightly and spied the couple.

  She shot back up, sitting straight in her seat. She began to stroke David to keep him happy.

  David looked at her with a question on the turn of his lip.

  Emma smiled and put her head on his shoulder. She kept stroking his cock. A moment or two later she lifted her head and, turning, looked across the theatre towards the far back corner. It was in shadow as the scene on screen was a night one. Emma waited patiently for day to come. She could see some movement in the corner, and was able to determine that the male was seated nearest her. Then there was light and Emma turned quickly away. She had been right.

  Emma lost her focus. Her level of arousal plummeted from ten to zero. She continued to stroke her husband but she felt like a porn star earning a buck. She watched the movie for a moment, trying to distract herself. The film was terrible. She doubted if even David could enjoy it.

  There was no way she could distract herself. Her curiosity was building. Who was he with? Had he seen her? She snuck another look, timing her turn to coincide with a shot of a lake in bright sunshine.

  The couple were kissing. He had his hand under her top. But who was she? Emma could not see. She turned away.

  ‘Save this for later, baby,’ she said to David, packing away, with difficulty, his erection. Her hands were pulling his pants this way and that. The fly would not join. She knew the thing had fit in his pants before so it must fit now. David ended up finishing the job.

  Emma was still snuggled against him but she was able to look over his shoulder towards the back. The couple were really going at it. These days it was rare to see people kissing passionately in public. In Paris or Rome it seemed obligatory for teens and young adults to kiss with great passion in public view, but here, even kissing in the safe darkness of a theatre was becoming rare.

  Emma watched with growing interest. She was now the voyeur, the flip-side to her earlier fears.

  Emma smiled at the turnaround. Not five minutes ago she had been performing an act upon her husband which was truly lewd and yet she felt dirtier viewing these two lovers from afar. It caused certain parts of her to reverberate. These parts now needed attention. The young wife was not averse to using her husband for her own purposes.

  She lifted his hand from her knee and placed his palm between her legs. Though the man was now engrossed in the terrible film he reacted mechanically, having been used thus many times before.

  He undid her jeans and pressed his hand down her pants and began to rub her very, very gently with the tip of his middle finger. He was very well trained in this.

  Emma, the naughty girl, continued to spy on the couple. She believed now that more than the kissing was taking place. His arm seemed to be busy well below her breasts. Her position had changed, there was an arch in her back. Emma pretended David’s hand was the man’s hand. She was sure that hand was being far more aggressive, she was sure his fingers were pushing deep inside the girl.

  The girl broke away from the kiss. Emma saw her face, her mouth was open and her eyes were dark and unseeing. She looked towards Emma, but Emma was certain these were the eyes of the temporarily blind. Then it was all over. The girl shuddered to a halt and fell against him. They sat quietly, he watching the film, she with eyes closed, her head on his shoulder.

  Emma continued to watch, as David continued to play with her. Then the face of the man turned towards her and he smiled. Emma had been lost in her reverie and was slow to react. He was looking straight at her. She smiled. She had no option. She’d missed the chance to look away. Then he turned back to the film.

  Emma too turned to face the screen. She rested against David with her eyes closed though, and left his finger to play its gentle game. He was in no hurry, she was in no hurry, the film was in no hurry. Emma very much enjoyed the way David would indulge her in this manner. He was a good boy. He’d do it anywhere he deemed safe. Safe for him, that is.

  While David’s finger loitered, Emma’s thoughts were with the couple in the back. She would not look again, but her imagination was continually offering gorgeous examples of what might be occurring, which served to keep her in an extended and deliberate state of bliss.

  Emma was almost asleep, her thoughts, fantasies and dreams having been stirred into the one erotic broth, when David’s movements alerted her to the tragic reality of the film’s end. Drowsily, her body tingling, she lifted his tired hand to her mouth and sucked on his generous finger.

  When she opened her eyes the credits were rolling. She lifted her arms above her head to stretch and yawn, careful to use the opportunity to check on the couple in the back. But they were gone.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  David was waiting on a chair near the exit when she came out of the ladies. She strolled over to him, smiling. He stood up and took her hand in his. As they were walking down the stairs, he asked, ‘Did you notice young Jason with a girl?’

  ‘No,’ lied Emma.

  ‘They must have been to see the same movie. He shrank from me when he saw me. Do you suppose he’s been up to no good?’

  ‘Any self-respecting teen should be up to no good, baby. It’s what they do.’

  ‘I wasn’t.’

  ‘And you became a banker.’

  ‘Point taken,’ he said seriously, then laughed. After a moment, when the thought finally registered, ‘Maybe he saw us, Em?’

  ‘He probably did, you stand out.’

  They were alrea
dy walking down Clifford Street on their way home.

  ‘I meant, saw what you were doing to me.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘That doesn’t worry you?’

  ‘No. What worries me is that here we are, late at night, alone, on a dark street, and it doesn’t even occur to you to drag me into the shadows.’

  ‘He may still be around, Emma.’

  ‘Let’s look in the shadows. That’s where teenagers take their girlfriends.’

  ‘I’m serious, Em. It doesn’t worry you that he may have seen us?’

  ‘No, why should it?’

  ‘He may tell his parents.’

  ‘David! Are you serious? And what would happen then? We weren’t sacrificing babies to our Dark Lord Satan. I was playing with your cock. And if you’d like, I’d do it now. Right here on the pavement,’ she said, a little annoyed. Nothing should worry her Neanderthal.

  ‘You’re depraved, darling.’

  ‘That’s why you married me,’ she said, reaching across and grabbing his crotch. He was hard again. Seeing Jason had made her yearn for the vitality, the spontaneity, the passion of youth. Why should it end?

  ‘At least he doesn’t lie to me,’ said Emma, referring to David’s penis.

  ‘I don’t lie to you,’ said David with conviction.

  ‘Then fuck me here, against this fence, under the light of the street lamp. Be true to your cock.’ She had stopped walking and rested her bum on a low brick fence. She undid her jeans and exposed herself by pulling them down slightly.

  David felt a little threatened. Her suggestion sounded more like a taunt and made him uncomfortable. His fear turned to resentment and then anger.

  ‘Don’t be silly, we’re almost home,’ he said, trying to swallow his ire.

  ‘Fuck me, husband,’ she demanded, reaching out for him.