The Healing Quilt

by Lauraine Snelling

  “Teza, what have you decided?”

  “About what?” Teza rolled her eyes. “Oh, that. I'll have the treatments at the hospital, do all I can with diet and supplements, pray mightily and ask others to do the same, and keep on reading up on other things to do. Thanks to Elsie Mae, I'm over the fear for now. I believe relaxation and picturing myself well will be the hardest. I hate sitting still for a minute, as you well know.”

  Kit felt like a punctured tire. All the arguments she'd put together, all the time spent looking for information, and here Teza had it all worked out.

  “What brought you to this kind of decision?”

  “I prayed and asked God what he thought and if he would make it clear to me. Near as I can figure, he said to cover all the bases.”

  “I'm sure that must be scriptural.” Kit's eyebrow refused to stay in line. She blinked the tears of relief back and hid her grin behind the glass of iced tea.

  Teza stared into Kit's eyes. “And I'm counting on you, too, for the praying part, and don't go giving me that song and dance about not believing any longer. You and I both know that is a bunch of hooey, so you can just quit running the other way and turn back so God can help you with your own healing. There now, I've said my piece, and you know I'm right.”

  Kit choked on her biscuit and felt as if her lungs were going to explode with the coughing. When she finally got her breath back, she took a swallow of tea and leaned against the back of the chair.

  “You all right now?”

  “I will be.”

  “Now, I read up on Healing Touch, and I think we need to learn a lot more about this. I'm looking forward to talking with Elsie Mae again. Wish I had known about that program my first time through this. Maybe the cancer wouldn't have returned.”

  “Maybe.” Kit took another bite of biscuit. “These sure are good.”

  “Thanks. You know something that frustrates me?” Teza gestured to the stack of information Kit had brought. “They don't agree. You can read three different experts and studies and get three totally conflicting conclusions.” She wagged her head from side to side. “So I intend to read all the scriptures on healing so I know more what God has to say. I seem to have forgotten a few, but the one that comes to mind the most is ‘if two or three agree on anything in my name, it will be done for them.’ Now there are two of us, and I'm hoping Beth will be a third, most likely Elsie Mae, and if anyone else wants to join in, so be it.”

  The desire to run out the door and keep on running until she got home and could lock herself in her own house forced Kit to her feet. But instead of running, she brought the pitcher of iced tea back to the table. God, this isntfair. You know Icarit do this. IfTezds health depends on my prayer power, you might as well take her home now. She sank back in her chair. No way could she tell Teza she wouldn't do this. No way, and yet—what if her lingering doubts negated whatever power their prayers had? Did her doubt cause God to refuse to heal Amber?

  No, I believed back then. You let me down. You said to pray believing and I did, but you didnt do your part. The rage she'd thought gone since Friday flamed up again. God, you expect too much!

  “My dear, what is it?” Teza laid a hand on Kits arm. Her gentle voice broke the dam, and Kit laid her head on the table and bawled.

  When the storm passed and the hiccups were all that remained, Teza handed her a cool wet washcloth.

  “Now, I want you to go lie down in the hammock and I'll bring some cucumber slices for your eyes.”

  Kit held the washcloth in place. “Cucumber slices?”

  “I read they are good for taking out the red and the puffiness. And if they don't work on your eyes, we can always eat them.”

  A chuckle caught in Kit's throat and turned to a snort. “Teza, you come up with the darndest things—lavender biscuits and cucumber poultices. And the frustrating thing is—they work.” Kit rose and headed for the hammock.

  Half an hour later she could attest to her aunt's apothecary procedures. Her eyes felt 100 percent better. Hooray for cucumbers. And the peace she'd felt on Friday returned too.

  “Just leave that stuff here and I'll get it read.” Teza gestured to the stack of file folders. “In the meantime, I have a little book here I'd like you to read.” She held it up so the title was visible. The Healing Lightly Agnes Sanford. She makes a lot of sense, much more so than most of those medical people. Promise me you will read this, starting tonight.” leza, 1…

  “Please.”

  Kit took the book. “Oh, all right. It's not like I have nothing else to do tonight.”

  “You can finish the squares this afternoon. You don't have to do pickles.”

  “Unless, of course, I want to go out and pick some cucumbers just for pleasure.”

  “Right.” Teza reached out and patted her cheek. “See you at the meeting.”

  Kit started down the steps and stopped. “When is your doctors appointment?”

  “I told them I'm not going back up to Seattle. They will have to send all the information down here and work through Dr. Harrison. I like her and I trust her.”

  “Do you want me along when you discuss protocols?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “So be it.” Kit waved with the book in her hand. Now not only would she have to pray, she'd be returning to the war zone.

  Her arguments and tears continued all the way back home and into her garage. Same hospital, same medical complex, a repeat from all the time she and Amber spent at radiology, overnight on the oncology floor for treatments, out-patient chemotherapy, doctor's appointments, blood work. She banged on the steering wheel. “You're asking too much. I cannot do this!

  I am with you always.

  No, you re not

  Trust me.

  “I'm trying!” She laid her head on her arms crossed on the steering wheel and gave in to the tears. Tears that only flowed seconds and stopped on their own, leaving her feeling washed clean instead of drained, peaceful instead of destroyed. Was it a miracle or…?

  After walking into the house and washing her face again, she checked the answering machine. Sure enough, a flashing light. Perhaps Teza had changed her mind about die prayer diing. She pushed die button to hear: “Hi, this is Beth. Please check your front porch. I brought you something, but you weren't home. Thank you for Saturday.”

  Kit erased the message and went to the front door. A gaily wrapped box held a miniature pink rose in a large cup. The note said, “A teacup rose for one who shares love with her roses and tea. Love, Beth.”

  A spicy fragrance wafted by as Kit lifted the box to smell the blossoms. “What a nice thing to do.” She took the box inside and lifted out the mug. A Baggie in the bottom of the box held a crunchy puppy treat. The card read, “For Missy, who also loves a lot.” Kit gave Missy her treat and centered the rosebush on the dining room table for the moment. “You'Ll need more light than this, but for now, I can enjoy you more this way.”

  She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Where were those cucumbers when she needed them?

  Every time she passed by she glared at the little book sitting so innocently on the table. She sewed, she weeded, she made dinner, she ate dinner, she washed up, she tried to watch television, she talked on the phone. The book could as easily have been screaming read me for all the frustration it caused her.

  “I know a promise is a promise but…” But nothing. At nine o'clock she snatched up the book, climbed the stairs to her bedroom, brushed her teeth, got into her nightgown, and climbed into bed. It wasn't even dark yet.

  She turned out the light at eleven because her eyes were so gritty from all the crying earlier in the day that she could no longer see. She finished the book by noon the next day, having started reading again after she fed the animals and herself, when the birds broke into their morning arias. She lay on the glider on the front porch watching Mr. and Mrs. House Finch feed their brood in their annual nest above one of the porch posts. According to Sanford, healing prayer was so simple. As
was the faith that God would answer.

  “You know I dont like ‘no.’ So now I'll admit you answered, only it was no to my way and yes to yours.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “God, you know how I miss her. And now you're asking me to trust you with Aunt Teza. If you take her, who will I have left?” Tears leaked again.

  Me.

  The mother finch flew past on her way to feed the kids. Father finches fed the kids too.

  Would God her Father do any less?

  THIRTY-ONE

  “I know this is rude, Teza, but what did you decide?”

  “Thanks, Beth, I've been wanting to ask but was afraid to.” Sue spoke to Beth but stared at Teza, as did the others. The four women had just pulled their green, fiberglass high-backed chairs up to the quilting frame.

  “Why, I decided that I'll go for treatment like the doctor recommended and count on God and Elsie Mae to help me handle the pain and heal more quickly. Teza wiggled her thimble down on her finger. “I'm still learning about other alternate programs, but reading Agnes Sanford's book, The Healing Light, helped me realize I can fight back in very simple ways. I made Kit read it too. Applies to more than just cancer, of course.”

  “I read that years ago,” Sue said. “Forgot all about it, but I'm sure it's still on my bookshelf.”

  “Can I borrow it?” Beth asked.

  “Sure, I better write myself a note.” Sue dug in her bag for paper and a pen.

  “Agnes Sanford says to relax and picture God's healing light flowing all through me, to see it burn up the tumor, or eat it up, or however I see best. I made myself do just what she said. She takes the reader step by step to help her relax. I felt so warm and peaceful when I did it. When I called Elsie Mae and told her about it, she said we'd do more of the same.”

  This is my perpetual-motion aunt talking about relaxing?Kit kept her amazed thoughts to herself. She continued stitching without looking at Sue, who could read her thoughts far too easily. At this moment, giggles would not be polite.

  “So when do you see the doctor?”

  “I'm going back to Dr. Harrison here on Thursday, and she'll lay out the program.”

  “Good. I am so relieved.” Sue and Kit tried to hide their smiles of relief.

  “Me, too.” Beth took a threaded needle out of her kit. “Garth said to tell you those peaches were about the best he's ever had. I baked two peach pies, and he ate most of both of them.”

  “Good thing he's just a growing boy.” Sue began stitching in one of the diamonds.

  “He's going to be a really big boy if he keeps that up.” Teza's comment made the others chuckle.

  “You all got a lot done since I was here last.”

  “I know. Four of us worked Friday, then Beth came over Saturday and Teza on Sunday. My backyard and garden need major work, but you know how addicting quilts are. Just like having a jigsaw puzzle set up. Every time you go by you say you'll just put in a couple of pieces.”

  “And it's an hour later before you look at the clock. Good thing the phone rings sometimes.”

  “Speak of the angels…” Kit pushed her chair back so she could go answer the phone. I should get a portable phone for just such times as this.

  “That was Elaine,” Kit announced on the way back. “She can't come today. Something came up.”

  “Like Bootsie?” When they all laughed, Sue laid down her needle.

  “I can tell that missing a session means missing out on more than stitching. Fill me in.” By the time they finished the story, she was laughing as hard as the rest of them. “I know that Mrs. Smyth-with-a-Y My husband did some repair work for her. He said never again. Nothing pleases her. She put a stop payment on his check because he didnt do something that he says she never asked him to do.” Sue shook her head. “I suppose this is gossip and I better shut my mouth.”

  “Poor woman.” Teza sighed. “To be so unhappy.”

  “Sad, huh?” Sue looked to Beth. “Pastor Garth sure preached a great sermon Sunday. I heard good comments from several people.”

  “Thanks, he needs to hear things like that.”

  “Hit me right between the eyes.” Sue touched her forehead in the appropriate place.

  “What did he talk about?” Teza asked.

  “Trust, that's what. I realized I have a real issue with that. I can remember the girls saying ‘Mom, you just don't trust us.’ Now, why would any true-blue mother trust her teenagers? I mean, I did but I didn't. I guess it was more not trusting anything or anyone around them. Trust is earned, that part I do understand.”

  “And easily killed.” Kit spoke in the direction of her stitching fingers.

  “You oughta come with me next week, Kit. Might be different going to a new church, a good thing.”

  “Maybe I will.” Kit caught the look that flashed between Teza and Sue. Ganging up on me, than whatyoure doing “How's the taming of the kitty coming, Beth?”

  “If I lie on the lounger and close my eyes, he'll jump up and curl tight against my knees, but if he senses I'm awake, he leaves. Silly cat. One of these days he'll let me pet him. He just doesn't know it yet.”

  “Cats are perverse creatures, not easygoing like most dogs.” Kit glanced over at Missy, stretched out on her side with one long ear flopped over her eye, snoring in a spot of sunshine.

  “Like Bootsie?” Beth giggled as she shook her head. “I think of that, a real David-and-Goliath kind ofthing, and I just have to laugh.”

  “So, Teza, what's happening on the farm?” Sue asked.

  “I brought corn on the cob for lunch, and there's some in there for all of you to take home for dinner. Made twenty quarts of hamburger pickles yesterday. Hardly get them on the shelves and people buy them. Maybe I should go into the pickle and jam business.”

  “In your spare time.” Kit shook her head. “Here you are, seventy years old with cancer, and you can still work rings around the rest of us.”

  Teza ignored her niece. “I am going to start the fruit quilt. I decided since it's applique, it will be a good thing to take the blocks along for stitching during treatments and tests, keep my mind off the procedures. Give me something to look forward to.” She pushed the needle through the layers with the leather thimble on her middle finger.

  “It sounds beautiful. I'd love to help you with it, if you want an extra set of hands.” Beth pulled the new thread through her needle and returned to her stitching. “Did anyone count how many diamonds we have in this thing?”

  Kit shook her head. “Didn't have the heart. I could put some music on if you'd like.” She glanced around, but no one took her up on her offer.

  “Where is Mark working now?” Sue asked. “Been so long since I've seen him, I almost forget what he looks like.”

  “Ah.” Come on brain. kick in gear. Make something up! Do something!” Salt Lake City.”

  Sue looked up from stitching. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

  “Ah, no, not at all.” Liar. You knew that one of these days someone was going to ask. You should have been prepared.

  “Okay, my friend. Out with it.” Sue stabbed her needle into the fabric and cupped her hands on the frame.

  Kit sucked in a deep breath. Tell her. Get it out in the open where you can deal with it. “Mark took an extended leave of absence.” Than one way of describing it. “He…he felt he couldn't deal with all the memories here and needed some time off.” The confession trailed to a whisper.

  “When?”

  January.

  “All this time, and you didn't tell me anything about it?

  Kit ducked her head. “I know but.

  “Don't feel bad, she didn't tell me either.” Teza stood and stretched. “I think we need a coffee break here. I'll go put it on.”

  “Oh, Kit, I'm so sorry.” Beth reached out and stroked Kit's hand.

  “I… I thought that I should keep his secret for him. That if I just hung on, pretty soon he'd realize what he'd done and come home. I never dreamed it would be th
is long.”

  “Have you heard from him?”

  “Oh yes. Not every day but…” Not often, hardly ever, than closer to the truth, so really the truth is somewhere in the middle.

  “Do Ryan and Jennifer know?” Sue returned to the conversation.

  “Sort of.” I sound like the wimp of all wimps.

  “Sort ofi So you've been bearing this alone all this time, on top of the grieving for Amber.” Sue took a deep breath to slow and lower her voice. “Good, now that that's out, how can we help you?”

  Kit shrugged. “I don't know how to help myself. I just keep busy and try to act as if nothing is wrong. I've been hearing from him more often lately, though. I think that is a good sign.”

  “Good sign, my foot. He deserves to be horsewhipped. Walking off and leaving you all alone like this. Where is his head?” Sue's eyes glinted fire, and she stabbed the needle through the layers so hard, she yelped.

  “Don't bleed on the quilt!” Kit snapped back.

  “I won't!” Sue sucked her finger. “Teza's right. I need a cup of coffee.” Finger in her mouth, Sue pushed back her chair and stomped off to the kitchen. “You still keep Band-Aids in the cabinet?”

  “Yes.”

  “You've had so much to bear.” Beth knelt beside Kits chair.

  “Yeah…well, we all have. That's just the way life is. Sometimes it plain stinks.”

  THIRTY-TWO

  The calendar never lies.

  “Honey, I need you to come bail me out!”

  Bail you out? “Where are you?”

  “Jail.”

  Beth stared at the calendar on the wall by the phone. August 21. Sure enough, this had been the day of the demonstration at the abortion clinic. Garth hadnt reminded her this morning because he knew how adamantly she was against his taking part in such things, let alone leading them. She'd made her opinion known several years earlier, not that it had done any good.

  Now, what she'd always feared had come true. Her husband, the abortion fighting preacher, had been arrested.