Spider

by T E kessler

  Beth lowered her eyes. ‘Lara’s been missing two months now. She went out one evening, and she was seen on CCTV passing a group of Jelvias before she vanished, so police believe they have her. They’ve stopped looking now.’

  He didn’t react like most people did. He just quirked an eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

  ‘But the Jelvias don’t have her. It was just a coincidence that they were there and captured on CCTV,’ she said. Her statement surprised her and she realised that Yash spoke the truth when he said Jelvias hadn’t taken Lara. She picked up a cinnamon whirl.

  He resumed eating his Danish. ‘Didn’t she leave a note or anything?’

  ‘Just a text saying “Sorry”. I’ve texted her back and called her, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. She’s either ignoring me or dumped her phone.’

  ‘She was always a little spoilt.’

  Beth glared at him.

  ‘She was!’ he said, looking a little abashed. ‘You and your dad gave her everything she asked for. She never took any responsibility for herself. You sheltered her too much, but it’s not your fault or even your dad’s fault. You both coped with the tragic circumstances in the best way you knew how. But, Beth, you can’t protect everyone. You shouldn’t have protected Lara, and you shouldn’t have protected me.’

  ‘I didn’t!’

  He wagged a finger at her. ‘Yes, you did!’ His finger tapped her on her nose, and she jerked back in surprise. ‘Now you have sugar on your nose.’

  Scowling, she wiped it off.

  ‘Let me,’ he said and leaned over the table. With his fingers under her chin, he tipped her face. His brown eyes looked into hers; they were soft and understanding. His thumb moved over her nose, and then he sat back. She was still leaning forward, heart pounding, and wanting him to kiss her.

  She picked up her coffee cup, feeling hot and confused.

  Harry was grinning.

  ‘You think she ran away, don’t you?’ she asked him finally.

  He nodded.

  ‘It’s crossed my mind too,’ she finally admitted. She put her cup down, and it clattered on the saucer. ‘I’d be devastated if I found out she had run away. It’d be like a betrayal. I did everything for her. I gave up my social life for her, worked all hours to support her in college—I was basically a mum to her.’

  Harry was nodding.

  ‘I couldn’t bear it if she had run away,’ she said again.

  ‘It’s better than the alternative,’ he said softly. ‘Oh Beth, why did you make up the other man? Five years wasted!’

  ‘Five years where you’ve grown and flourished and—’

  ‘I was twenty-three and old enough to know what I wanted, and I wanted you and all your so-called baggage. But if you insist, yes, it’s five years on and I’ve flourished and grown and so the question is now, will you take me back?’ He put a finger over her mouth to silence her response. ‘I know you’ve had it tough, and I know your dad likes a drink, and your mum has brain damage, and I also know that Lara is missing. I’d like to help. But most of all, I want you back in my life. We’re a package, Beth. Your problems are mine and vice versa.’

  He took his hand away, and Beth stared at him, feeling speechless. She thought of Yash and immediately felt his hands on her skin. She felt sick. Harry could never find out about the deal she had with Yash. If he had been distraught over a fictitious man, he’d be devastated over Yash, and there’d probably be no way back for them after that.

  And she realised—she wanted Harry back.

  ‘Let’s take it slow.’ He had mistaken her thoughts for indecision. ‘Friends for now, eh?’

  ‘Things are complicated,’ she said. ‘Really, really complicated.’

  ‘Maybe I can help?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Then maybe I can just supply you with pastries?’ He picked up an éclair and held it up to her lips.

  Beth moved her head away, laughing. ‘Stop, it’s sticky!’

  Harry laughed and dropped the cake back on its plate.

  ‘Is this meeting not about the Dog at all?’ she asked.

  ‘No, it’s all about you.’

  She couldn’t help but flush as his eyes seemed to eat her up. He appeared to give himself a mental shake.

  ‘I do have to warn you, though, that your job isn’t safe. I trust Colin spoke to you about that?’

  ‘He said he’d put a good word in for me.’

  Harry looked worried. ‘He has, but that’s no good if there isn’t a manager to take over from him. Do you have anything lined up?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m hoping I can stay on. I mean, it’s walkable from home and convenient. Do you have any new franchisees interested?’

  He shook his head, saying, ‘Since the Jelvia incident, not many people have come forward. A couple was interested in turning it into a family pub, but they’ve dropped out. Colin said you were left in the pub alone with the Jelvia?’

  His sudden change of subject made Beth flustered, and she flushed as Harry’s concerned eyes roamed her face.

  ‘I hid in the kitchen,’ she said after a pause, then she picked up a cake and tried to act unconcerned.

  ‘Colin said you tried to hide the man the Jelvia was chasing. That was a bit stupid, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah, well, you weren’t there.’

  ‘Hey! I’m not lecturing you. Maybe I should’ve said “brave” instead. It must have been scary. What happened?’

  She shrugged, dropping the cake back on her plate without taking a bite. ‘A man came running in looking terrified, but he was already on his way out to the back area when the Jelvia came in after him. I just directed him to the cellar, that’s all.’

  ‘But Colin said the Jelvia frogmarched you out of the bar.’

  ‘Colin says a lot, doesn’t he?’ she said through a clenched jaw.

  ‘He cares about you.’

  ‘So much that he left me in the pub alone with Yash!’

  Harry frowned. It seemed like he was about to say something but then changed his mind. He looked at the table, and when he looked up again, the smile was back on his face. ‘Yeah, but he says he was forced out with the stampede of people rushing to leave,’ he said.

  ‘I know, and I didn’t mean that exactly as it sounded. Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m trying to forget.’

  Harry nodded, but he still looked like he wanted to ask questions. ‘Sure. Anyway, I’ve put in a request that the new franchisees, whoever they end up being, keep the existing staff.’

  ‘Er, excuse me,’ said a voice.

  Both Beth and Harry looked up.

  The woman who’d sold them their drinks and cakes was looking down at them regretfully. ‘I need to clear this table.’

  Beth looked around the café. They were the only customers, and a spotty-faced youth was pushing a broom around the floor. Lights were off in one section.

  ‘Are you closing?’ asked Harry.

  ‘We closed half an hour ago.’

  Beth looked at the time; it was eight-thirty. The time had flown!

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ said Harry.

  The woman smiled. ‘No problem. I’ll box your remaining cakes up.’

  When she’d gone, Beth and Harry looked at one another and smiled.

  ‘I should have taken you out for a proper meal,’ he said.

  ‘No, this was nice. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep with all this sugar in my system though. I'll be running around my bedroom all night!’

  ‘Can I chase you?’

  She flushed. ‘Stop. Stop flirting.’

  ‘Only with you, Beth.’

  The waitress came back with a box and Harry loaded the leftover cakes. He pushed it towards Beth. ‘Share the rest of these with Alison,’ he said.

  ‘I will. Thank you. She’ll enjoy these.’

  ‘What time does your shift end tonight?

  ‘Until close, which is usually midnight by the time I’ve cleared u
p.’

  ‘I’m sure Colin won’t expect you back now, though. Want to go on for a drink somewhere?’

  She was shaking her head before he’d finished talking. He looked offended, so she added, ‘I left work early last night, and it wouldn’t be right. It’s usually hectic Saturday nights.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said grudgingly.

  Smiling and saying a cheery goodbye to the staff, Beth picked up her box of cakes and followed Harry outside to the car.

  He started the engine. ‘I want to see you again, Beth,’ he said. ‘No strings, remember,’ he added. ‘But I’m warning you now, I’m not going to let you go without a fight. It’s taken me five years to find you.’

  ‘You didn’t move on at all?’

  ‘I had various girlfriends,’ he said, and Beth felt a fierce burn of jealousy sear her insides. ‘But it felt like I was dating for the sake of it. My heart wasn’t in it because they weren’t you. And what about you?’

  Yash popped up in her head. ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  He gave a tight smile and put the car into motion. Beth noticed his hands on the steering wheel. They looked tight.

  ‘Are you in trouble?’ he asked.

  Beth glanced from his hands to his face. He didn’t look at her.

  ‘No,’ she said.

  ‘Well, that’s a relief. I don’t want to have to hire a Jelvia to kill anyone.’ He turned to look at her, watching her intently as he spoke. ‘What’s up? You’ve gone as white as a sheet.’

  She looked away on a shaky laugh. ‘Nothing.’

  His expression was curious. Curious and worried. His hand left the steering wheel to pat her knee. ‘I meant it, Beth—we’re friends now, okay? You can tell me… tell me anything, okay?’

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  The next morning, Beth climbed out of bed carefully. She felt stiff and sore. She removed her PJ bottoms, and turning around, she peered over her shoulder at her reflection in her full-length mirror. Her bottom was crisscrossed with raised welts; bruising had started to come out on her backside. It looked like she’d been in a kinky but abusive relationship.

  She touched her bottom, cupping her cheeks in both of her hands and feeling the heat still beneath her fingertips. She pulled on her PJs back on gingerly.

  She wasn’t feeling well. She had woken up with a banging headache and a knot in her stomach. The knot she could explain—she still felt on edge from Friday night with Yash. Her physical scars might be healing, but the mental ones lingered.

  Usually, Beth loved Sundays. She could lie in, wander around the house in her PJs, and veg in front of the TV if she wanted. Her dad had already said he’d take Alison to Caring Hands, leaving Beth free to do as she pleased. But this Sunday, Beth felt restless. She couldn’t relax. It wasn’t the headache, which she’d taken painkillers for—it was a feeling of unfinished business with Yash.

  And the business—life—she wanted to restart with Harry.

  She dressed in the clothes she wore for her cleaning job, tied her hair back, and decided she’d clean the oven, and then maybe defrost the freezer. She’d do anything to get rid of this horrible agitated feeling she had. She had her phone nearby in case Yash called with news on Lara’s whereabouts. She was itching to call him, just for reassurance that Friday night hadn’t been in vain, but knew he wouldn’t appreciate any calls from her. He was the one who made the calls.

  So when her phone rang, she snatched off her rubber gloves and pressed to answer without checking to see who was ringing.

  ‘Hi, Beth, it’s Harry.’

  At the sound of his voice, a delight rippled through her. It had been lovely talking to him yesterday; it had almost been like old times. She wished they could go back to when she hadn’t been such an idiot. Five years wasted. Maybe if they’d stayed together, Lara wouldn’t have left; Beth wouldn’t have met Yash and be in this horrible position where she felt she was cheating on a boyfriend who wasn’t her boyfriend yet.

  ‘Hi, Harry.’

  ‘I phoned the pub thinking you’d be there, but Colin said it’s your day off. It’s mine too—how’s that for a coincidence! So how about I take you and Alison for Sunday lunch? I know a fab place by the Thames, and the weather isn’t too bad. We could sit outside.’

  ‘Pause for breath,’ she said.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said on a laugh. ‘Well? How does Sunday lunch grab you?’

  ‘It’s only ten-thirty.’

  ‘I don’t mean right now!’ He laughed. ‘How about I pick you both up at twelve o’clock?’

  Beth eyed the oven and the oven cleaner she’d pulled out from the cupboard beneath the sink. She turned her back on it. ‘I’d love to, but it’ll be just me,’ she said quickly before she could change her mind. ‘My mum’s at Caring Hands, a respite she goes to every Tuesday and Sunday.’

  ‘Another time with your mum then,’ he said. ‘Right, miss, I’ll pick you up in an hour and a half. Yorkshire pud and roast beef await!’

  Beth was smiling when she disconnected the call, and realised smiling wasn’t something she’d wanted to do for a while. Harry made her feel unalone. He made her feel valued—cherished. Her mind flicked back to how Yash had made her feel after spanking her over his knee. She’d cuddled into him as his big arms held her tight. She’d felt cherished then, too. She suddenly felt sick. The thoughts of what he had done to her—of how he made her feel—caused a ripple of disgust to run through her.

  She had to stop thinking about Yash. She had to get over Friday night. It was a business deal she was doing for Lara, she reminded herself.

  With her phone still in her hand, she opened it to Yash’s number. Her last text to him was letting him know she’d arrived home safely, which he hadn’t replied to. Hesitating briefly, Beth texted:

  Please keep me updated in regards to Lara. Beth.

  Then she went upstairs and jumped in the shower to try and wash all thought of Friday night away.

  Steven must have arrived home while she was using the hairdryer on her hair because she hadn’t heard him come in. He was downstairs sitting on their saggy old settee when she walked in. A woman was sitting on the chair opposite. Both were nursing a cup of tea.

  ‘Ah, Beth,’ he said when she stopped in surprise at their guest. ‘Beth, this is Sarah, a good friend of mine. Sarah, this is my daughter, Beth.’

  They exchanged pleasantries.

  ‘Beth, Sarah is the lead counsellor from my old AA meeting. We bumped into each other just now. She’s wondering why I’ve stopped coming.’

  ‘That’s something I’ve been wondering too,’ said Beth and watched as colour filled her dad’s cheeks.

  ‘I’m trying to entice him back,’ Sarah said, turning a dazzling smile from Beth towards Steven.

  Beth’s intuition flared. She looked at her dad. ‘Did Mum get off okay?’ she asked, emphasizing the word “mum”.

  ‘Yes, she did,’ Steven said, not noticing, and turned his smile from Sarah back to Beth. ‘She’s showing her knitting to all and sundry.’

  ‘I was getting ready to go out but I think I’m going to cancel—’ Beth began.

  ‘Absolutely not! It’s your day off, so go and enjoy yourself. Who are you going out with? The same friends you met up with on Friday night, I suppose?’

  ‘Er, yes.’ She didn’t want to tell him about Harry just yet. She told herself it wasn’t because Sarah sat there looking all serene and interested, but because her dad had been almost as devastated as Lara when she and Harry had split up.

  ‘Be sure to keep your phone on this time,’ he said. ‘You know how I worry.’

  ‘I will,’ she promised, and with one final look at Sarah, she left the house just as Harry’s car stopped at the top of her street. She hadn’t given him her door number because she hadn’t wanted her dad to find out about him, but it looked as if Harry had seen her hurrying from her house anyway. He moved the car a little nearer as she
came towards him. He stopped the car and reached across to push open the passenger seat. Beth climbed in.

  ‘So, you live here,’ he said, looking out of the window at a dumped mattress propped up against a street lamp. A lone dog, roaming the area, stopped to raise its leg, and yellow urine coloured the mattress. ‘Nice.’

  Beth punched his arm. ‘It’s not. It’s awful, the walls are thin, we have damp in the winter and the central heating, if we can get it to work, rattles. But believe it or not, the people here are lovely.’

  Harry smiled at her. ‘I believe you.’ Still smiling, he put the car into motion.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Beth hadn’t been taken out for dinner by a man since… well, since she and Harry had spilt up. She couldn’t believe where the time had gone, and they chatted as though the years had been hours. It was strange; they just fitted.

  Over dinner, Harry was so intent on asking her all about the five years they’d been apart that when she was able to move the topic onto him, it came as a huge shock to learn that Harry didn’t work for the Everson Pub Company. He and his dad owned it.

  She sat there, mouth open, as he continued talking.

  ‘When my Aunt Leigh died, things went a bit crazy, and since I was so devastated over us, Dad took it on himself to stop being a stuck-up bigot—’

  ‘Harry!’

  ‘Oh, he was, believe me. He embarrassed me loads of times in the past. Anyway, I guess the shock at seeing my mum and me both in such a state made him feel he had to turn his life around. He took early retirement and invested in owning two pubs, and the rest, as they say, is history.’

  ‘Harry Everson-Watts!’ Beth groaned. ‘Your pub chain is the Everson Pub Company. It never clicked.’

  ‘Why would it? I’d vanished from your life—or rather, you’d vanished from mine. One of my managers was supposed to meet Colin, but he fell ill, and no one was around to take over so, as I was in the area, I decided to head down to the Dog and Gun and meet Colin. I couldn’t believe it when you walked in.’

  ‘I was pretty shocked, too.’

  ‘I was shockeder.’

  She laughed. ‘Is that even a word?’