The Art of Keeping Secrets

by Rachael Johns

  ‘You okay?’ Flick whispered beside her.

  She nodded, almost stumbling over the front step as she did so. Neve and Flick reached out to steady her and she offered them grateful smiles. Thank God for these two wonderful women, because no way could she have come here on her own. Without them, she’d have missed seeing her gorgeous Caleb all dressed up in his suit, missed seeing this momentous occasion in her only son’s life. He looked so handsome, so grown up; she just wanted to go over and wrap her arms around him.

  ‘Thanks Mr and Mrs McLoughlin,’ called the young men and young ladies as they began climbing into the limos, their faces aglow with glee. Emma flinched and couldn’t help pursing her lips. She was Mrs McLoughlin, not the wispy blonde who Max had dumped her for. She’d have changed her name back to her maiden name—Fleming, which she’d always preferred—if it wasn’t for the kids. Everything she did was for Caleb and the twins, and the last thing she wanted was for them to have different surnames.

  She and Max had gotten married in their early twenties—the old shotgun wedding—and back then Max had been a fun guy, a lot like Caleb was now; smart, funny and charismatic. But his drive to get to the top of his career and to keep up with the Joneses had changed him into someone who valued money and status above all else. They’d had Caleb, and then the twins, and though being parents changed things in the bedroom, she’d thought him so involved with his career that he wouldn’t have time for extramarital activities. But Max had proved her wrong in that department too.

  Distracted by her thoughts, Emma didn’t notice Caleb until he was right in front of her. His hands landed on her shoulders and his big, brown eyes looked down into hers as his slightly-toolong dirty-blond hair fell across his face.

  ‘You okay, Mum?’ he asked, his voice deep and so like Max’s. Thankfully, he hadn’t inherited many of his father’s personality traits. Caleb was one of the most caring people she knew. If he got the marks he was hoping for, he’d make a good doctor one day.

  She felt a rush of emotion as she examined him. She still remembered when he had fit into the nook of her arm, and now he was a good head-and-a-half taller than her. ‘Fine. I’m fine.’

  ‘I love you, you know that? Thanks for coming tonight.’ Then he leant forward and gave her the hug she’d been craving. Unsaid was the fact that he knew being here wasn’t easy for her.

  ‘I love you, too,’ she whispered into Caleb’s chest, praying she’d be able to hold her tears back until the kids were gone and she was far away from Max’s place. Her ex wouldn’t feel guilt or remorse that he’d turned her into a blubbering mess; he’d simply pity her. And he could shove his pity where the sun didn’t shine.

  One of the other boys called to Caleb from the limo and he pulled back, laughing, not at all embarrassed by their teasing.

  ‘You go,’ she told him. ‘Have a fabulous night. I can’t wait to hear all about it.’

  With another smile that melted her heart even more, Caleb turned and jogged back to the limo. Around her, smart phones were snapping photos as the kids settled into their seats, already sipping the non-alcoholic sparkling wine the limo company had provided for them. The chauffeur shut the door behind Caleb and walked briskly around to the driver’s side, the engine starting seconds after he slid into his seat. Emma waved alongside the other parents until both limousines were no longer in view.

  Now what?

  As if Max could read her mind—heaven forbid—he made an announcement. ‘The night’s still young, folks. You’re all welcome to come inside and have a few more drinks. Why should the kids have all the fun?’

  The other parents chuckled and murmured their agreement, but she thought she’d rather kill herself than spend any more time in Max and Chanel’s perfect love nest. Then again, going home alone to an empty house appealed only a fraction more. She didn’t even have a pet to keep her company.

  ‘I’m not staying here,’ she hissed under her breath, her tears thankfully subsided now the kids were out of sight.

  Neve gave her a wry smile. ‘We thought as much.’

  ‘As if we want to hang around either,’ Flick added, making no effort to keep her voice down.

  Seb, one arm around his wife, made a suggestion. ‘How about you all go back to Emma’s place and have a girls night? Flick can drive your car back—’ so lovely the way he didn’t come straight out and say she was too pissed to drive it herself ‘—and I’ll pick her up later.’

  Neve nodded. ‘Brilliant idea. But don’t worry, I’ll give Flick a lift back when we’re finished.’

  ‘Better still,’ Seb suggested, ‘how about you leave your car at Emma’s as well and I’ll pick you both up. That way you can all enjoy a few drinks while you’re kid-free.’

  Neve’s eyes sparkled. ‘You really are the perfect man, aren’t you, Sebastian?’

  He shrugged one shoulder as if to say, I can’t help it if it comes naturally.

  With her friends like bodyguards at her side, Emma followed the other parents as they trekked back into the near-mansion, then collected her bag from where she’d left it in the lounge room. The others were ready to leave without saying goodbye to their hosts, but Emma’s good breeding wouldn’t allow it. Her mother would turn in her grave if she thought Emma would fail to thank anyone for their hospitality. And she didn’t want Max and Chanel to think they could upset her.

  ‘Going already?’ Max asked, his fake smile in pride of place once again as he nodded towards the three women with their handbags. For a moment Emma was tempted to say ‘no’, just to see the smirk fall from his face, but Neve got in first.

  ‘Yes, sadly,’ she said, her friendly tone giving Max’s fake smile a run for its money. ‘We’ve got somewhere better to be.’

  Emma had to stifle a giggle. ‘But thanks to you and Chanel for hosting the pre-ball party.’ With her allies on either side of her, Max didn’t have as much power over her as he sometimes did.

  ‘Yes,’ Neve said. ‘I’m sure your efforts to impress worked on most.’

  Before Max could reply, Flick grabbed hold of Emma and Neve’s hands and dragged them out the front where Seb was waiting.

  ‘Have a good night girls,’ he said as he leant forward to kiss them all in turn. Emma and Neve received friendly pecks on the cheek, but Seb’s lips lingered longer on Flick’s mouth and instead of looking away, Emma found herself wishing she had someone to kiss goodnight.

  Seb jogged down the driveway and then climbed into their black family SUV. Emma, assisted by Flick, settled herself in the passenger seat of her boring sedan and Neve headed over to her cute lime green hatchback, calling over her shoulder that she’d stop at the bottle shop on her way.

  ‘You handled that well,’ Flick said as she shoved Emma’s key into the ignition, flicked on the headlights and adjusted the rearview mirror.

  Emma tossed her a cut-the-bullshit look. ‘If getting myself sloshed counts as handling things well, then yeah, I guess I did. Maybe I’m a better ex-wife than I was a wife.’

  Flick laughed. ‘I’d rather be Max’s ex than his current wife any day.’

  That made Emma giggle because quite aside from the fact that without Max she had to work her butt off at the travel agency just to make ends meet, she agreed.

  ‘Hey,’ she said, a silly idea suddenly popping into in her head—she blamed the alcohol. ‘How much would you charge to stuff a human? Actually make that humans?’

  Her hands still gripping the wheel, Flick turned to look at Emma and her lips broke into a grin. ‘Max and Chanel?’

  Smiling, Emma nodded.

  ‘For you, honey, I’d do it for free. And I’d enjoy every moment of it.’

  They were still laughing when Neve joined them at Emma’s place. ‘What’s so funny?’ she asked, dumping a brown paper bag onto the kitchen bench. Emma took great pleasure in explaining as Flick located champagne flutes and cracked open the bubbly.

  ‘Sorry, it’s not Veuve or Moet but it’s pink and I didn’t need to mor
tgage my unit to buy it,’ Neve apologised over her own laughter.

  As Flick handed out the glasses and the women headed into the lounge room to flop down on Emma’s comfy couches, she said, ‘Is it just me or do you guys think that the cheap champagne usually tastes better than the expensive stuff?’

  ‘It’s just you,’ Neve said, lifting her glass to her lips. ‘Tis the reason I’m still single—I haven’t yet found a man with a big enough wallet to accommodate my champagne tastes.’

  Flick laughed. ‘That and the fact you don’t actually put yourself out there and go on dates!’

  Neve grimaced. ‘The few I went on when Will was little turned me off. Bad breath, wandering hands, tongues like lizards and dicks you could barely find with a magnifying glass. I can satisfy myself and I don’t have to get dressed up or leave the house to do so.’

  Smiling to be in the comfort of her own home with her two closest friends, Emma sighed. ‘I do miss the sex though. Max might be an arrogant arse but he knew how to make me scream.’

  ‘Are you thinking of re-entering the dating game?’ Flick asked from her position on the opposite couch.

  Emma shook her head. ‘I hadn’t given it any thought until tonight.’ Truthfully, the idea terrified her. Ever since the whole Max debacle, she’d harboured evil-stabby feelings towards the opposite sex. ‘I know you found a good one, Flick, but in my experience, good men are few and far between and, sadly, many of them bat for the other team. Anyway how on earth would I find the time?’

  ‘Um…’ Neve said, her tone sarcastic. ‘What else do you think single mothers do on the weekends when their exes have the kids?’

  ‘But my fortnightly Friday nights are when I catch up with you guys,’ Emma protested. ‘And by the time I do all the housework and washing and grocery shopping on Saturday—if I’m not working—I’m too buggered to think about entertaining a man. Nope, silly idea. Sex is overrated anyway, forget I ever mentioned it.’

  ‘Mentioned what?’ Flick asked, a twinkle in her eyes. ‘Anyway right now I care more about food than men. Should we order some pizza or something?’

  Neve agreed this was a splendid suggestion.

  Max’s words about the gym rang clear in Emma’s ears but she pushed them aside, not wanting to give him any power over her.

  ‘Sounds good to me. I really should eat if I don’t want to wake up with a hangover.’ Emma leapt off the couch to make the call, hoping either her friends would insist on chipping in to pay or there’d still be some money left in one of the kids’ money boxes. Barely managing to keep up with her mortgage, she’d been raiding them more often than she liked lately and always made a silent promise to herself to replenish what she took as soon as possible. It wasn’t like they ever needed money—Max bought them everything their hearts could possibly desire.

  She worried about this, not simply because it pained her to think of her ex buying the kids’ affections when she couldn’t afford to, but because she didn’t want him turning them into spoilt little brats who didn’t think they needed to work for anything.

  ‘Em? You okay?’

  Emma blinked out of her reverie to see Flick and Neve staring up at her, concern scrawled across both their faces.

  ‘Sorry.’ She shook her head and then lifted her hand to her forehead because the action irritated her blossoming headache. Maybe it was already too late to save tomorrow’s hangover with food. ‘Was just thinking about Max and the kids.’

  Neve stood. ‘Sit down and relax,’ she insisted. ‘I’ll order the pizza.’

  ‘And I’ll go get some water,’ Flick announced, also pushing up from her seat. ‘Tonight was emotional for all of us, but you had the extra stress of having to pretend you were fine and dandy about hanging out with… Well, you know what I mean.’

  Emma let out a half laugh and slunk back onto the couch. Flick and Neve rarely uttered Max’s and Chanel’s names, treating them both a little like Lord Voldemort from Harry Potter. ‘Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

  ‘That’s what friends are for,’ Neve said as the two of them retreated into her kitchen.

  Emma took a few deep breaths in and out, not wanting her headache or bitter thoughts to ruin her night with friends. Their boys would never again head off to their year twelve ball and they should be commemorating the occasion with happy memories, not by talking about her conniving ex-husband. She didn’t want to turn into one of those bitter women who couldn’t discuss anything but how hard done by they were. Usually she worked very hard to be positive, but being in such close proximity to Max and Chanel always threatened this resolve.

  ‘Here you are.’ Flick returned a few moments later with an ice-cold glass filled with water.

  Emma pressed it against her forehead as Flick sat back down.

  ‘Headache?’

  Emma nodded, the simple action make her head throb more.

  ‘Not surprising.’

  Emma took a long sip of water and tried to perk up. ‘So… how good did our boys look tonight?’

  A smile crept onto Flick’s face as she tucked her long, straight dark hair behind her ears. ‘So good.’ She sniffed. ‘Watching Toby with Brooklyn made my heart break a little.’

  ‘I know what you mean.’

  ‘It made me realise that he won’t be my little boy forever,’ Flick continued, swirling her glass between her fingers, staring down into it as if it held a photo of Toby. ‘The way he looked at Brooklyn tonight… he used to look at me like that. I don’t think I’m ready for him to grow up.’

  ‘Oh, please stop,’ Neve said, returning to the room, picking up her glass and taking a swig as she flopped at the other end of the couch to Flick. ‘If you girls are going to get all sentimental on me, I’m shooting through and I’ll be taking the pizza with me.’

  Emma laughed.

  ‘Don’t even think about it.’ Flick shot her a glare. ‘I will fight to the death for my pepperoni with extra cheese.’

  Smiling, Neve relaxed back into the couch. ‘Think about it—with empty nests we can get up to so much more fun. We’ll have less washing, less cleaning, less cooking. We won’t have to get up at ungodly hours on the weekend to drive the boys to rowing practice. And maybe we’ll be able to go on that girls’ trip we’ve been fantasising about forever.’

  Emma didn’t want to burst Neve’s bubble but there was no way she’d be able to afford any kind of holiday, unless they were talking about a weekend at the caravan park down the street. Actually, even that would probably break her budget right now. ‘Um… in case you’ve forgotten, I still have two younger daughters.’

  ‘But you also have school holidays and every second weekend kid-free,’ Flick said, making it sound like free was a good thing.

  As much as Emma loved her friends, they had no idea what it was like having to say goodbye to your babies every second weekend. She missed them. And as for alternate Christmases alone—nothing compared to that kind of misery. She’d never asked to be separated from them—sometimes it felt like she had no control over anything in her life anymore.

  Deciding that humouring her friends would be easier than arguing, Emma smiled. ‘Okay then, where would we go?’

  ‘Now that is a good question.’ Flick’s forehead furrowed a few moments as if she were in deep contemplation. ‘Do we want to go somewhere hot or cold?’

  ‘Hot,’ Emma and Neve said together.

  ‘Okay. Beach or rural?’

  Having grown up in the wheatbelt, Emma could think of nothing worse than being stuck in the outback during the sweltering temperatures. ‘Beach,’ she declared. Neve nodded her agreement.

  ‘Overseas or in Australia?’

  ‘Overseas,’ Neve replied.

  At the same time, Emma said, ‘In WA.’

  They all laughed.

  ‘What about Bali?’ Flick suggested. ‘We can lounge on the beach or by some exquisite resort pool while some buff, tanned guy brings us a never-ending supply of cocktails. And i
t’s practically still in Western Australia!’

  Emma had to admit it did sound rather appealing. And relaxing. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done such a thing. Life was one big rush, trying to work, keep house and spend quality time with the kids. She hadn’t even read a book or had her hair done for…a long time.

  Her fingers drifted to the dry ends of her hair as she imagined how much fun would it be holidaying with her friends.

  Flick leaned forward and rubbed her hands together, more like an excited child than a responsible mother and wife. ‘Now, the big question is, when?’

  The answer was delayed by the buzzing of Emma’s doorbell and the arrival of the pizza.

  Chapter Three

  Genevieve

  Sometime around 1 am, Neve stood on the porch of her two-bedroom townhouse, carrying her sparkly high heels as she waved goodbye to Seb. They’d left Emma asleep on the couch with a crochet rug thrown over the top of her and a glass of water on the coffee table for when she woke up in a few hours with the inevitable hangover.

  Flick had already been snoring against the passenger window by the time Seb reversed out of Emma’s driveway. He would probably have to carry her inside to bed. As she unlocked and then opened her front door, Neve smiled wistfully at that image, fantasising for a moment about what it would be like to have someone like Sebastian Bell in her life. Someone kind and sexy who loved and looked out for her.

  Not that she needed someone—she had a job she adored, which brought her enough money to cover the bills and most things she or Will desired; she could even unblock a toilet and change a tyre on her own—but sometimes she thought it would be nice to have a man around. Emma had admitted to missing sex and the truth was Neve wouldn’t have said no to a heart-stopping orgasm either, but what she craved most was intimacy and companionship. It had been almost two decades since she’d experienced anything close.