The Art of Keeping Secrets

by Rachael Johns

  Neve pressed a hand to her stomach, trying to quell the butterflies—no, make that blackbirds—that were churning there again. The people nearby probably pitied her being a single woman alone at the theatre, but they didn’t know the half of it. Looking like a loner was the least of her worries.

  As the curtain closed on the final act of Mamma Mia! she wished she’d allowed Flick and Emma to come with her again, but after the day they’d had, she hadn’t wanted to admit she’d changed her mind and wanted some moral support after all.

  Flick was emotionally exhausted after her revelation—Neve still couldn’t quite believe it either. That confession in Central Park could so easily have been a dream, or a nightmare. She’d always thought Seb and Flick’s relationship so strong, but this just went to show, you never truly knew what was going on inside the head of another person. No matter how close you thought you were to them. Poor Flick.

  With all the drama between them, it wasn’t surprising that Emma’s headache had returned, and because of this her friends had opted for a quiet night in at the hotel.

  ‘But you must promise to wake us when you return though,’ Emma had said, a cold flannel pressed against her forehead as Neve walked out. ‘We want to know all the details.’

  Wondering what there would be to tell, Neve took a sip of her water and then followed it with some deep breathing, concentrating on inhaling and exhaling, not hyperventilating. The urge to run almost overcame her. Only the thought of Will’s disappointment if she didn’t find him some answers gave her the courage to rise from her seat and head for the foyer. Hopefully the girl from last night would be in the ticket box and she wouldn’t have to explain herself again.

  Halfway out of the theatre she was almost knocked off her feet by a woman who’d had a little too much to drink.

  ‘Sorry,’ the woman slurred, giggling as if she thought the whole world hilarious.

  ‘Really sorry,’ echoed the man with her as he pulled her close to him again.

  ‘It’s fine.’ Neve envied them their carefree attitudes, not to mention their drinks. She’d kept to water only, wanting to be fully compos mentis when she spoke to James, but maybe a little Dutch courage would have been a good idea after all. She continued along in the wave of people, psyching herself up to ask the first theatre-type person she saw for direction to James. In the foyer as the hordes flocked towards the exit, she snuck off to one side, took another deep breath and smoothed down her dress.

  ‘Oh. My. Fucking. God!’

  Her heart stilled as she looked up. She didn’t need to see the face to recognise the voice and every last little organ in her body quivered. Her brown eyes met James’s piercing blue ones and something told her everything was going to be okay. He might be angry to start with, but—sunny-natured and fun-loving—he’d never been able to hold a grudge. He still had the same warm, mischievous smile that had won her over all those years ago.

  Will looked even more like him than she’d imagined.

  ‘Gennie!’ he exclaimed after a few moments in which they stared dumbfounded at each other.

  She blinked as heat radiated through her body. No one else had ever called her Gennie; she suspected if anyone else ever had she’d have put them on a hit list, but James said it in such an intimate voice, making her feel warm, cherished and sexy.

  She couldn’t help but smile. ‘Hi James.’

  If Neve’s voice sounded more husky than she meant it to, he either didn’t care or didn’t notice. He stepped forward and she sucked in a breath as he drew her into a tight hug.

  ‘I’ve been wondering all afternoon who my mystery guest could be, but …’ He pulled back and held her at arm’s length as his gaze raked over her. ‘Wow. Look at you. Still the sexiest woman alive.’

  Although he likely said this to all his ex-flings, her nipples tingled and tightened at the compliment uttered in his delicious voice; a slight American accent only intensifying his appeal. Oh dear God, she was going to have to be very careful not to lose her head. Or anything else.

  ‘Thanks,’ she said as her senses went into overload. ‘You don’t look so bad yourself.’

  Total understatement! Age had done him no harm. Still a tower of hard, lean muscle with a face that made her want to drop to her knees and praise God for this beautiful creation, he looked barely five years older than when they’d last met.

  They stood staring at each other for another few moments—no awkwardness, simply a couple of seconds to catch their breath.

  ‘I’m so glad you found me,’ James said, breaking the silence. ‘Would you like to go get a drink?’

  ‘You’re sure Lydia won’t mind?’

  ‘I don’t think Lydia has cared what I do for quite some time. We’re divorced.’

  The air whooshed from Neve’s lungs and her eyes opened wide. She had no hope of hiding her shock.

  Why hadn’t she ever considered this a possibility? If they’d been happy all those years ago, he’d never have strayed. Then, another awful thought struck her. ‘Was it because …? Did you … have another affair?’ she whispered, feeling sick at the thought of being just one in a long line of someone elses.

  ‘I’m wounded you would think such a thing.’ His warm hands, still on her arms, slid lower and he took her fingers in his and brought them up to his chest. She could feel his heart beating beneath them. ‘The only time I ever broke my wedding vows was with you.’

  His words made her head spin. And she believed him. She nodded, but couldn’t speak.

  He smiled again. ‘Is that a yes to a drink?’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ She couldn’t say no even if she wanted to because they had the most important thing in the world to discuss. That and the fact that she seemed to have lost the ability to form actual words.

  ‘Great. Just let me check everything’s okay backstage and I’ll be right with you. Don’t run away.’

  She whimpered a little as he strode away, the snug fit of his dark jeans making her mouth water. Her heart pounded as she waited for him to return. The woman from last night—closing up the ticket box—eyed her curiously, obviously having witnessed James’s effusive greeting. If Neve didn’t feel so nervous she’d have offered the woman a smug I-told-you-so smile but she tapped her heel against the floor instead, fighting the urge to do exactly what he’d told her not to, and run.

  She dug her phone out of her bag and looked down at the screen backdrop—a recent photo of Will, taken when he was all scrubbed up for the year twelve ball.

  My beautiful boy.

  He was the reason she was here, seeing James again after all these years. She couldn’t stuff this up.

  As promised, James returned quickly and then with another heart-stopping, libido-teasing smile, he offered Neve his arm and led her out into the night. She barely noticed the passers-by or the sounds of New York after dark, so consumed was she with the smell and feel of James again.

  They headed towards a bar he knew. ‘It’s so tiny, it’s easy to miss. But this is a hidden gem frequented by locals,’ he told her as he pushed open a door for her.

  She stepped inside and immediately fell in love with the trendy but cosy establishment. Flickering candles were the only lighting inside and artwork lined the walls, giving it a special charm. In the corner a singer was crooning something sad and romantic.

  ‘This place is gorgeous.’ She spoke loudly so James could hear her above the din of music and chatter.

  ‘I’m glad you like it,’ he said, stepping close and placing his hand on her back as he ushered them towards the bar.

  She closed her eyes briefly, relishing the pleasure that rocketed through her at this simple but oh-so-sexy touch. There was something seductive about a man touching his hand lightly to the small of a woman’s back—something chivalrous and yet vaguely predatory, like a signal to other guys that this girl was taken. James’s touch breathed life back into those old but not forgotten feelings.

  ‘What can I get you to drink?’ he asked as they com
mandeered two stools alongside the bar.

  A voice inside her head said she should buy her own drink to set the tone of the evening but she didn’t want to offend him before they had a chance to talk. ‘I’ll have a white wine, thanks.’

  James ordered her drink and a beer for himself. He chatted to the friendly barman as if they knew each other well. This felt like a small neighbourhood hangout, rather than a hip bar near bustling Broadway. Once their drinks were placed on the bar in front of them, James turned all his attention back to her.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here, sitting right next to me.’ He took a drag on his beer. She admired the thick column of his neck and his stubbled jawline as he lifted the glass to his mouth. ‘What are you doing in New York?’

  This was her chance—the perfect time to tell him she’d come for the sole purpose of catching up with him. To tell him about Will.

  Instead, she took a sip of wine and said, ‘I’ve come with my two best friends, Emma and Flick. They’re both going through some stuff at home and we decided an overseas shopping and cocktail holiday would be the perfect medicine.’

  He chuckled. ‘And is it working?’

  She pursed her lips together, thinking about Emma’s constant headaches and Flick’s startling announcement of this afternoon. ‘I’m not sure yet, but there’s still time. We’re here for another five days.’

  That voice inside her head told her that according to the rules of conversation, it was her turn to ask him a question now. The things she wanted to ask him were a little personal so she went with the safety of work. ‘How long have you been working on Mamma Mia?’

  ‘Three years.’ Of course she already knew this answer. ‘And I’ve loved every minute of it. But we’ve only got a few months to go until we close.’

  ‘Oh, that’s right. I read that in the playbill. What are you planning on doing next?’

  He shrugged those lovely big shoulders and she squeezed her legs together as a shot of pure lust rushed to her core. ‘I’ve put some feelers out. Who knows, I might even head back down under, but there is a certain allure to being on Broadway.’

  ‘I can imagine.’

  ‘What about you? Still working in theatre?’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘These days I’m a freelance hair and make-up artist. I do a lot of work for magazines, indie films, advertising, that sort of thing. Keeps me busy but I do miss the buzz of being backstage.’

  ‘Why leave then?’

  She swallowed. Why leave the theatre, or why did I leave you?

  It was another perfect opportunity to bring Will into the conversation, but something held her back. ‘I moved back to Perth to be nearer Mum and Dad and there weren’t as many in-theatre jobs there. The longer I’ve been out of the industry, the harder it would be to get back in.’

  ‘So you didn’t move back for a man?’ he asked. They were sitting very close—ostensibly so they could hear each other better—but it also meant she could hear the interest in his voice.

  ‘No.’

  ‘What about now? Do you have a boyfriend? Husband?’

  After so many years apart, she shouldn’t find so much joy in this question. But she couldn’t help it. ‘Not at the moment.’

  ‘You’ve been married then?’

  ‘No. The right guy never came along.’ So why did it feel like she was looking into his eyes right this very second?

  He stared intently at her for a few long moments, his gaze so hot her lips felt like they were on fire. For a second she felt positive he was going to kiss her, and then he looked down at his drink and took another gulp instead.

  Neve’s heart sank, but she tried not to show her disappointment. It was ridiculous. She wasn’t here to jump the man’s bones, she was here to tell him about her son. His son. Their son. Nerves once again replaced her desire and she spoke to distract herself. ‘How are your daughters these days? They must be adults by now.’

  His lips stretched into a proud fatherly smile and he spoke with such love and delight, which dammit, only made him more attractive. ‘Just awesome. They’re all back in Melbourne now, so I don’t see them as much as I’d like, but we talk lots. Hannah did two years of teaching but has accepted a place at WAAPA in their musical theatre program for next year. She wants to be a director. I guess she’s a chip off the old block. Jolie is much more like Lydia—she’s just finished her Masters in English Literature and is talking about going on to do a PhD. No weddings or babies yet.’

  Neve didn’t register those last few sentences. ‘WAAPA? As in the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts?’

  ‘That’s the one.’ He winked playfully. ‘Maybe if I visit Hannah, we’ll have to catch up.’

  At the way he said catch up her insides caught fire. ‘Maybe,’ she all but squeaked. Will would have a half-sister in the same city and neither even knew the other existed. Gee whiz, when had her life gotten so convoluted?

  James leant even closer and whispered in her ear. ‘Because I’m really enjoying catching up right now.’

  She shivered, the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck rising as she drank in the intoxicating smell of him—far more dangerous than any wine could ever be. ‘Me too,’ she admitted, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

  And then they were kissing. All logical thoughts and well-meaning plans darted out the window. This wasn’t the kiss of two people who’d only just met but the heated, demanding, salacious kiss of two people who had a scorching sexual history and wanted to repeat it.

  James slid off the stool, his hands capturing her face as he slid his thigh between her legs. Thanks to her flimsy dress, she felt his hard muscle pressing against the lace of her panties, desperate need gathering there.

  He broke the kiss and looked right into her eyes. ‘Want to have the next drink at my place?’

  The voice inside her head was still trying to be heard, but it was getting softer. While her brain told her to pull away and tell him what she needed to tell him, her traitorous body had other ideas. This hadn’t been in her plans, but she didn’t have the good sense to scratch it off his agenda. She wanted to feel his lovely big hands on her bare skin again, she wanted his tongue exploring all her intimate places and most urgently, she wanted his cock pulsing inside of her. It had been so long since she’d had an honest-to-God real-life orgasm. What harm would one more time do before she told him the truth?

  ‘Yes, please,’ she all but panted.

  He downed the last dregs of his beer and then they ran outside to hail a cab.

  ‘Drive fast,’ James commanded their driver, after sliding into the back seat beside her and giving him his address.

  The driver swerved out into the street and shot up his middle finger at the horns that beeped behind them.

  James moved so he was right next to Neve and put his hand on her thigh.

  She had her first orgasm in the taxi, the second in the elevator shooting up to his apartment. By the time he’d unlocked the door and they’d collapsed inside, she could have exploded with unadulterated need. Her hands were on the buckle of his jeans even before the door had slammed shut behind them. She sunk her fingers into his jocks and pressed her palm against his hot, pulsing erection. Her mouth watered at the thought of tasting him again.

  Although he groaned, he didn’t forget her needs, whipping her dress over her head in one swift movement and then sucking in his breath as he gazed down at her near naked body. ‘God, you’re delicious,’ he hissed and then bent his head and took one nipple in his mouth.

  Her knees almost buckled as his tongue swirled around her needy hardness. His other hand ventured between her legs, his fingers sneaking inside the lace of her knickers to find out how hot she was for him. ‘And wet.’

  She hadn’t been this wet for as long as she could remember. The few guys she’d slept with since James had never turned her on the way he had. And judging by the sensations flooding her body, he still had that particular talent.

  ‘I n
eed you. Now.’ She yanked her hand out of his jeans and started tugging them down his legs.

  ‘You don’t have to ask me twice.’ He stepped out of his jeans, then yanked her knickers down her legs, before lifting her up and carrying her over to the kitchen counter. He perched her atop the bench and she squealed as her bare bum landed on the cool surface, but that was nothing to the noise she made when he thrust inside her.

  She bit down hard on his shoulder to stop herself from waking the whole apartment building as he increased his pace. His hands cupped her buttocks and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, both of them giving everything they had as the tension grew inside her until it was unbearable. They came together magnificently at exactly the same moment. Another feat that had never happened with anyone else. And afterwards she planted her hands on the benchtop as she caught her breath and he dropped his head to nuzzle between her breasts.

  It felt oh-so-right … and yet, it was oh-so-wrong.

  As Neve’s heart rate recovered, she thought of Will. What kind of mother was she to put her libido ahead of the needs of her son?

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Felicity

  Flick’s mobile beeped and she shot out her hand to grab it off the bedside table. Neve had only been gone a couple of hours but she was desperate for news of how her night was going. Emma, still headachy and also upset because tomorrow would be the first time she wouldn’t be with the twins for their birthday, had fallen asleep within five minutes of finishing her room service dinner. Flick couldn’t help worrying that something was seriously wrong with her friend and didn’t want to wake her by turning on the television; this left her alone with nothing but her own thoughts and the internet. Neither of which gave her any comfort her at all.

  Google was not your friend when your life was in a shambles.

  She glanced down at the screen, expecting to see a message from Neve, but was shocked to find a Facebook message alert instead. It wasn’t Neve. It wasn’t Seb. Or one of the kids. It was Jeremy.

  She pressed the phone against her racing heart and closed her eyes as she recalled their unexpected encounter last night. Her lips twisted into a smile at the memory of how he’d looked and how he’d made her laugh. Conversation had been easy and she’d been more pleased than she’d let on when he’d requested her friendship earlier in the day, but she’d imagined that would be it. Maybe they’d check out each other’s profiles every now and then, like a few statuses here and there and perhaps even post a wall message on each other’s birthdays, but she hadn’t expected Jeremy to contact her again so soon.