The Art of Keeping Secrets

by Rachael Johns

  Even if they’d never be lovers again, maybe they could be friends.

  ‘I can’t believe he’s going already,’ Will said as they watched James join the check-in queue at Emirates. He was flying to New York via Dubai.

  Neve had no idea what to say to that, but she tried. ‘You’ve made the connection now. I’m sure you’ll see him again before too long.’

  At this thought fear wrapped itself around her heart like barbed wire—Will was a couple of months off finishing school. Only a few months after that he’d be eighteen and free to do as he pleased. The possibility that he might decide to head to the States and spend some more time getting to know his dad terrified her, and the awful thing was that she completely understood. She’d miss him like crazy, but who wouldn’t want to get to know James better? He was such a wonderful person—the fact that he’d overlooked his own issues with her for the sake of Will proved this. And only made her feel more guilty that she’d kept them apart for so long.

  ‘He’s a great guy, isn’t he?’ Will looked up at her. ‘I can see why you fell for him.’

  She smiled. ‘Yes, he’s a very good guy. You’re a lot like him, you know that?’

  ‘Thanks.’ Pride shone in Will’s face at her words. ‘I wonder what Hannah and Jolie will think of me?’

  ‘They’ll love you,’ Neve said, with absolute conviction. James’s daughters sounded close to him and he’d said they were excited at the prospect of having a little brother. She liked them already; not that she’d probably have much to do with them. They might embrace Will, but that didn’t mean they would want to get all friendly with the woman their dad betrayed their mum with.

  Will went quiet again and Neve snuck a look at James as he shuffled forward in the line towards the check-in desk. For a man of fifty, he looked good. Better than good, and her mouth went dry as she stared at the way his faded denim jeans hugged his butt. It seemed such a long time since they’d been up close and personal, but in reality it was less than two weeks and her body craved more of him like she’d never craved anything in her life.

  ‘Did you love him, Mum?’

  Again Will’s words snapped her out of her fantasy. ‘What, honey?’

  ‘Dad. Did you love him when you guys were together or was it just … you know … sex?’

  She blushed at Will’s words, despite his embarrassed hesitation. Yet this was one question she didn’t need to think about at all. ‘Yes,’ she told him honestly. ‘I loved James more than I’ve ever loved anyone before or since—aside from you of course.’

  Will grinned up at her, his smile so boyish in comparison to his almost fully-grown body. ‘That’s what he said too.’

  Her grip tightened on the wheelchair’s handles. ‘What?’

  ‘He said he loved you more than his wife, even though it was wrong, and that even after you left, he never stopped thinking about you.’

  ‘Really?’ She couldn’t keep the joy from her voice. She wanted to sob loudly and messily but somehow managed to restrain herself. A little voice inside her head told her that perhaps James had said this purely for the sake of their son, but she ignored it and took comfort from Will’s words as if they were a warm blanket wrapped around her.

  If James had loved her once, was there a possibility that he could one day love her again?

  James strode over a few minutes later. ‘Right, I’m all checked in.’ He may have spent the last few years living in America but he still had an Aussie swagger that made her pulse skip. Hell, who was she kidding? Every tiny thing about him made her pulse go crazy. Even during the height of his anger towards her, she’d wanted to jump his bones.

  ‘Excellent.’ She swallowed. ‘Let’s go get a drink.’

  He took the handles of the wheelchair again and they took the elevator up to the next level of the airport. They bypassed the duty-free shop, newsagency and tourist boutique and went straight for the bar.

  James positioned the wheelchair next to a table. ‘Drinks are on me.’

  He’d whipped his wallet out of his pocket and was halfway to the bar before Neve could object. She pulled out a chair and sat down beside Will, her heart squeezing at the glum expression on his face. She wanted to comfort him, to remind him that it wouldn’t be long before they saw each other again, but the fact that it was her fault they’d been apart Will’s whole life kept her mouth shut.

  They sat in silence until James returned a few minutes later.

  He handed her a flute of pink bubbles and she smiled her thanks, amazed he still remembered it was her favourite. Dammit, why couldn’t he have brought her something she didn’t like? He gave Will a can of Coke and then sat and lifted the beer he’d bought for himself to his mouth.

  Neve lifted her glass to her lips and focused on the lovely feel of the bubbles on her tongue, rather than the sexy column of his neck as he drank.

  After another mouthful, James put down his bottle and looked from Will to Neve and back gain. ‘I have some news.’

  Will’s eyes widened in expectation and Neve lifted an eyebrow, her pulse once again pausing in its business.

  ‘As you both know, Mamma Mia! is closing soon and I’ve been on the lookout for a new job. Well, I’ve got one.’ James paused and Neve’s stomach twisted in anticipation. ‘I’m going to be working on The Lion King.’ He grinned from ear to ear at this declaration.

  Will frowned and Neve could see their son didn’t understand what this meant. But she did. As a lover of all things theatre, she kept up to date with the musicals that were coming to Perth and The Lion King was one of them. If her memory served her right, it opened at The Crown Theatre in November. Just a few months away.

  ‘I’m moving to Perth,’ James proclaimed and Will’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

  ‘Serious?’ he asked a few seconds later. ‘The Lion King is in Perth?’

  ‘Serious.’ James nodded, a smug expression on his face at the excited surprise in Will’s voice. ‘I’ll get you and Stacey opening night tickets if you like. Girls dig that kind of stuff.’

  Will beamed, seemingly speechless. Moisture glistened in his eyes and Neve’s stomach flipped. It was one thing James being in Will’s life, their life, while living on the other side of the globe, but how could she cope with him living in the same damn city? She should be happy that Will would no longer have reason to move away, but how was she supposed to protect her heart in this scenario?

  ‘That’s wonderful,’ she managed. ‘I bet your daughters will be happy to have you closer to home again too, especially Hannah, since she’s going to be here too.’

  James shrugged. ‘I don’t know. She might be scared I’ll cramp her style, but she’ll get over it.’ He reached across and ruffled Will’s hair. ‘And I couldn’t pass this opportunity by.’

  If anyone else had ruffled his hair in such a manner, Will would have been furious, but instead he grinned, that same super-wide smile that matched his father’s. ‘Awesome.’

  ‘I’m just going to pop to the ladies,’ Neve said, pushing back her seat and shooting to her feet. She turned and fled before Will or James could say anything, but no doubt they barely noticed her go, too ensconced in their future plans.

  She tottered towards the restrooms on her too-high heels and had almost made it to the door when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder and spun her round. She came face to face with James, in all his beautiful two-day-stubble glory. His steel-blue eyes searched hers as if asking her a question but she had no idea what it was. She blinked twice, hoping to stop the silly rush of tears that threatened.

  ‘I was hoping you’d be happy about my news,’ James said, his voice deep and his expression serious.

  ‘I am,’ she lied. ‘It will be good for Will to have you around.’

  ‘I didn’t just accept the job because of Will.’

  She nodded. ‘I know. Awesome that Hannah will also be living here,’ she said.

  He shook his head. ‘Hannah being here will be another bonus, but I had o
ther reasons for accepting the position. Entirely selfish ones.’

  The way he looked at her sent ripples of awareness all through her body, but it had to be her imagination. She wished he’d stop talking in cryptic sentences. ‘I don’t understand.’

  He leaned towards her and grabbed hold of her hands. ‘As much as I’ve tried to hate you for what you did—for keeping Will a secret—it’s futile. Living with you this past week has only proved one thing; everything we shared eighteen years ago is still as strong and alive as it was then. I want you, Gennie. I want you now as much as I ever wanted you back then and so much more.’

  Neve couldn’t believe her ears. If James hadn’t been holding her hands, she’d have pinched herself to check this wasn’t another torturous dream. She frowned up at him. ‘Is this some kind of joke?’

  ‘No,’ he whispered with the slightest shake of his head. ‘And something tells me that you feel exactly the same way. Fighting the chemistry between us is impossible.’ And with that, he dipped his head, captured her face in the palms of his hands and kissed her.

  As her body relaxed into his, Neve’s mouth opened to welcome him and endorphins danced through her veins. The tears she’d been fighting broke free, salt water sliding down her cheeks and in between their fused lips. James pulled back, his hands still cupping her face. ‘I hope those are happy tears,’ he said, licking them from his own lips.

  All Neve could do was nod.

  She didn’t deserve James’s forgiveness, she didn’t deserve his love or his body, but by God she wanted it. She’d made some terrible mistakes in her life, but turning down his offer of love was not going to be one of them.

  Chapter Fifty-two

  Felicity

  ‘How do I look, Mum?’

  Zoe stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors in her parents’ bedroom and looked to her mum for her approval. Emotion caught in Flick’s throat at the vision of her stunning daughter, sparkling almost as much as the Tiffany earrings she wore and dressed head-to-toe in the classic white gown they’d chosen all those months ago. Months that had gone by far too quickly.

  She summoned a smile and stepped towards Zoe. ‘You look … You are … the prettiest thing on the entire planet and I’m so damn incredibly proud of the woman you’ve grown into.’

  Not usually one for too much sentiment, today Zoe beamed, the love shining brightly from her face. ‘Thanks Mum, I can’t wait for Beau to see me.’

  ‘Me neither. I just know he’ll burst into tears.’

  Zoe laughed, then her expression turned serious. ‘While we’re alone—’ her bridesmaids, brother and father had left the room to let her finish getting dressed ‘—there’s something I’ve been wanting to say.’

  ‘Oh?’

  Zoe nodded. ‘I wanted to thank you for the wonderful example you and Dad have given to me over the years. And to Toby, although he’s probably too stupid to realise it yet. We’re so lucky to have parents who are not only still together, but are still blissfully in love. I only hope that Beau and I will have the kind of marriage you and Dad do.’

  Oh God! It was all Flick could do to stop from gasping as Zoe closed the short distance between them and pulled her into a hug.

  As she held her beautiful daughter close, her heart hammered in her chest.

  Did Seb realise exactly what he wanted to do?

  How would Zoe react if she knew the marriage she wanted to shape her own on was actually a big fat lie? Yes, she and Seb loved each other, but not in the way the world assumed when they looked on and saw the perfect couple. Since Will’s car accident, Flick’s worries about how Toby would react to Seb’s news had never been far from her mind, yet every time she’d tried to raise her misgivings, the words had caught in her throat. But she’d not given enough thought to how his coming out might affect Zoe and Beau as well.

  Luckily years of being married to Seb had made her into a pretty damn good actor, so instead of falling apart in her daughter’s arms, Flick donned her metaphorical big girl panties.

  ‘That’s lovely of you to say; we’ve all been very blessed,’ she said, although the words she spoke didn’t at all match the feelings of turmoil that simmered within her—feelings that had been growing with every day they came closer to Seb’s deadline.

  Truthfully, Flick had hoped that the time she’d made him wait—till after Toby’s graduation and Zoe’s wedding—might have caused him to rethink his situation, to even change his mind, but there’d been no fairy godmother appear to grant her wishes.

  Only last night, he’d showed her the outfit he planned to wear when he first went out in public, and the joy on his face had been indescribable. Seb had kept his part of the bargain, now it was Flick’s turn to keep hers.

  A knock sounded on the door and seconds later it opened. Seb strode into the room, looking illegally handsome in a near-black tuxedo and a magenta-coloured tie that matched Zoe’s bridesmaid dresses. The groomsmen, Beau’s young friends and Toby, had refused to wear pink waistcoats, so Seb had valiantly stepped in and offered to add a little fuchsia flair to his father of the bride outfit. Of course Zoe thought the world of daddy dearest for doing this for her, but secretly Flick knew Seb wore pink as much for himself as he did for his daughter.

  Pink was one of the colours most featured in his secret wardrobe. The knot that had taken up permanent residence in Flick’s belly twisted again.

  ‘There’s my gorgeous girls,’ Seb said now as he smiled from Flick to Zoe and back to Flick again. ‘The photographer has just arrived. Are you ready to be snapped silly?’

  Zoe went over to kiss Seb on the cheek. ‘I’m so ready.’

  Seb offered her his arm and she linked hers through his. Flick followed closely behind as he led their girl through the house and out into the front garden where the photographer and bridesmaids were waiting. Dog rushed over from where he’d been rolling in the grass.

  ‘No!’ Everyone shrieked in unison as he launched himself at Zoe.

  Luckily Toby had quick reflexes. He grabbed hold of Dog’s collar and reined him in, before walking him over to his kennel on the front porch. ‘Sit,’ he said firmly, and Dog flopped his head onto his paws in chastised disappointment. ‘Stay.’

  The mutt put in its place, all eyes turned back to focus on Zoe. Her bridesmaids shrieked oohs and ahhs of approval. Toby and the photographer even wolf-whistled. Zoe positively beamed. Flick tried to focus on the moment—on the absolute joy of her daughter’s big day—and push her anxieties aside. There’d be plenty of time to deal with them later.

  The photographer snapped away—taking photos of Zoe with her bridesmaids, then Zoe with her dad, Zoe with Flick, Zoe with both parents and finally a family shot of the four of them. As Flick smiled at the camera she couldn’t help the heavy feeling in her heart. This would be the last photo like this ever taken of them. From now on Beau would be an official part of their family. And more significantly, from tomorrow Seb would become Sofia.

  Suddenly Flick wondered if they’d been wrong to wait until after the wedding to tell the kids. Would there ever be a right time to drop this bombshell? Maybe she should ask Seb to wait a little longer, until Zoe and Beau were back from their honeymoon and settled properly into married life. Before she could give this any more thought, one of the bridesmaids, Zoe’s best friend, Clare, appeared with a tray full of champagne flutes. Flick couldn’t down hers fast enough.

  ‘Mum, I think you’re supposed to wait for the toast,’ Toby said, smirking.

  ‘Whoops. Sorry.’ She smiled nervously as everyone around her lifted their glasses.

  ‘To my baby girl. To her being the happiest married woman that ever walked the earth.’ Seb smiled warmly at Zoe but his words left Flick cold.

  ‘Besides Mum you mean.’ Zoe grinned and then lifted the flute to her mouth.

  ‘Yes, besides your gorgeous mother,’ Seb said, briefly meeting Flick’s gaze before taking a sip of his champagne.

  Flick could barely remember what i
t felt like to be truly happy and she silently prayed her daughter would never forget. That Beau would never compromise their marriage and Zoe’s sense of self as Seb had hers.

  Before their glasses were all empty, a black London taxi cab pulled up in the driveway.

  ‘The cars are here,’ Zoe squealed, shoving her empty glass at Toby. ‘Oh my God, I’m so excited I could wet myself.’

  ‘Please don’t,’ her brother replied dryly.

  A smartly dressed chauffeur got out the driver’s side and started towards them. ‘I’m really sorry,’ he said and Flick’s heart jumped into her throat, ‘but our second car broke down on the way over.’ He offered a sheepish look of apology.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Zoe asked. ‘Can you fix it? We can’t fit all of us in one car.’ She gestured around her to Flick, Seb, Toby and her three bridesmaids.

  The man shook his head. ‘Not on a Saturday I’m afraid. Parts for these cars aren’t easy to come by. We can call a taxi though, and obviously we’ll cover the costs.’

  ‘A taxi?’ Zoe’s mouth hung open as if the driver had offered them a tandem bicycle. She’d been calm and collected all morning, but the first signs of panic crept into her voice. ‘Are you kidding me? You want me to wear this in a taxi? I don’t want the remnants of some drunk’s vomit all over my beautiful gown.’

  ‘I … We … Of course not. I’d take you and whoever else we could fit in my vehicle,’ the man said, glancing down at his shiny polished black shoes.

  ‘This is a nightmare.’ Zoe lifted her hand to her head as if to run it through her hair, something she did whenever she was nervous or angry, but caught herself just before she ruined her hairstyle.

  Flick let out a quick breath of relief. ‘Calm down, honey,’ she said, snapping back into mum mode. ‘I know this isn’t ideal, but how about you and Dad go in the main car and I’ll bring Toby and the girls in our car. It was only valet cleaned a couple of days ago.’

  ‘But you won’t be able to drink,’ Zoe exclaimed.