She slipped on a pair of black shoes and my eyes skated over her. She looked so pretty and she never had to try. She had a light blue shirt on that looked almost like a dress because it was so long. It didn’t draw much attention to her belly because her chest was on display.
That damn chest.
I looked away quickly and cleared my throat.
“I’m ready,” she said.
“Let’s go.”
She locked the door behind us and we walked side by side to the truck.
“You seem extra happy today. What gives?” She said as she climbed in the passenger side of the truck.
“I have some good news.”
She smiled and turned quickly to face me. “Spill it.”
“I got the job.”
“Oh, Bentley that’s awesome. I knew you would.”
“You did?” I stopped the truck halfway out in the middle of the road. I looked at her so that I could see her expression. It was sincere. She really meant it. She did believe in me. Talk about cloud nine. Hell I was on cloud ten, if there was such a thing. “Thanks,” I said as I pulled away from the curb.
The drive to Lincoln was nice. We talked a lot and she said more than once that she was proud of me. I felt invincible.
“Where are we going to eat?” She asked.
“I want steak. I know a great steakhouse just about a mile up the road here.” I pointed over my steering wheel. “Is that okay?”
“Sounds great.” She said. “My Dad is a big steak eater. Anytime that we went out as a family to eat, he’d always choose a steakhouse. I think Mom secretly hated it, but not me. I always hoped that he’d choose because it was my favorite too.”
“I like your Dad’s style. It would always be my first choice too.” I said. I wanted to keep her talking. This was the first time since the two of us had been hanging out that she actually talked about something from her past. I didn’t want it to end.
“What would have been your mom’s choice?” I asked.
“Her favorite is Italian.” She looked out the window and then back at me. Her nose was scrunched up.
“You don’t like Italian?”
We pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant.
“Normally, but not while I’m pregnant. The smell of spaghetti makes me nauseous.”
“Good to know.”
We walked inside the restaurant and the lady seated us almost immediately. We had a small table near the back of the place near a window. It was nice. It wasn’t very crowded and I knew that Wren would appreciate that.
We ordered drinks and I wondered if I should tell her what I was thinking over dinner. She wouldn’t be able to run, but things were going so well.
I’d wait.
“I like to hear you talk about your family. Tell me more.”
“Like what.” She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I don’t know. You’re an only child right?” I asked.
“Yeah, and I hated it up until I was about nine years old. That’s when I met my best friend, Sawyer. She was just like a sister. We have always been inseparable.”
“I had a best friend like that when I was younger, but he moved away. Since then I’ve just made lots of different friends. Not really best friends. A guy that I work with now, his name is Luke he’s pretty cool. Probably the closest friend I have here. Well, besides you.” I admitted.
She smiled.
“What is your plans after the baby is born? Are you going to school?”
“I’m sure I will.” She said.
The waitress interrupted to take our order. When she left, Wren kept talking.
I secretly loved the way she bit her bottom lip or the way her eyebrows bunched when she was thinking hard about something.
“I think I am changing my major.”
“To what?” I asked.
“Well, I originally wanted to go into nursing, but the schedule is hard and the work would be long hours and I don’t want to be away from the baby that much.” She explained. “So I’ve been thinking and I think I want to change my major to psychology or social work.”
“Really?” I smiled big and leaned forward on the table. “Have you told my Dad?”
“No,” she shook her head. Her cheeks reddened and I wondered why. It was so damn cute. “I plan on telling him, but not yet. That man loves to be right. No offense.”
I threw my hands in the air. I already knew.
“He is the reason that I changed my mind and I don’t want to go giving him an even bigger head. He is amazing at what he does, and I found that I like working more with people one on one. No audience you know. So many people have issues, and they just need someone to talk to. I’m a good listener I think.”
“It sounds wonderful. Dad will love to hear it, when you get ready to tell him.”
She sipped her drink, and the waitress brought out our food.
“I haven’t told my parents yet, but I know they’ll be excited.”
“Of course they will,” I agreed as I took a bite.
The conversation over dinner was light and she didn’t talk anymore about her family. I didn’t push. We laughed and stuffed our faces. The food was great and I loved watching my girl eat. She wasn’t shy about that. When she was hungry, she ate. That’s an attractive feature in a woman.
It wasn’t until the meal was almost over that I actually scanned the room of people. Until then, I felt like we were the only two people there. She had a way of sucking me in and I could block out any and everyone around me. It was those gorgeous eyes and that perfect smile.
I paid the bill and the two of us wobbled out the door. We were so full.
“Thanks for dinner.” She said.
“You’re welcome.”
“I should have been treating you since you were the one with the good news.”
I waved her off. “I love treating you. That’s the way it should be. You need help getting into the truck?” I asked as she opened the door.
She looked at the little lift and then back at me. “That’d be great thanks. There is so much I can’t do with this wide load.” She pointed to her belly.
I took her outstretched hand and helped give her a little boost into the truck trying hard not to touch her too long. When I really wanted to do wrap my arms around her and hold her so close.
I closed her door and walked around to get in on my side.
Pulling out onto the road, I turned the radio down.
I took a deep breath.
“I was wanting to talk to you about a few things. Mainly I have things to tell you, and want to do it now. Here. In the car.” I said.
“Oookay,” she hesitated. “Why does it have to be in the car?” She laughed a little.
“Because you can’t run.” I looked over at her and I saw her freeze. She didn’t move or even glance in my direction.
I waited a minute until I could see her breathing slow before I continued.
“You are probably not going to like what I have to say, but I have to. It’s killing me. I’m in love with you. Have been for a long time. I know that scares the crap out of you, and I wish that I could change that, but I’m sure it won’t ever happen. You probably think that I am crazy and that I just think its love and that’s not what it is. But you’d be wrong. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I care if you’re hurting, I care if you’re sick, and I care if you’re happy. I have and I always will. Care.” I took a deep breath and peeked at her. She was staring out the window so I could barely see her face. “I love hearing what you have to say, or just your voice in general. I crave it. I want to be in your life no matter what. The baby’s too. I know that we’ll never be a couple like I want us to be, but I’m holding on to that tiny string of hope that maybe someday you’ll come around. I can’t lose you, so if it means that I have to go along just being your friend then, I will. I don’t want you to run or feel like you can’t be comfortable around me. I promise not to take things t
oo far. I won’t even bring it up again if that helps. But my chest has been hurting and I had to say it. To scream it if I had to. It’s been eating me alive.” I looked over at her and she still hadn’t moved. Her silence was the worst. I would much rather she yelled at me. It would have been easier. I couldn’t lose her.
Never.
The only sounds in the truck were our breaths. Nothing more.
“Please say something. Anything. You can even hit me if you want.”
She sniffed and I realized then that she was crying.
Talk about feeling like a douchebag.
“What do you want me to say Bentley?”
I sighed.
“I can’t love you back. I can’t.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Is there a difference?” She asked. “I may never be able to. I’m fucking broken Bentley.”
“I know, but you won’t let me close enough to even try and help. I wouldn’t fucking judge you Wren. I don’t care that you are the way you are. I didn’t fall in love with the Wren you were in the past. I fell in love with the Wren you are now.”
That was the first time she had looked at me since I started this damn conversation.
“I’m glad you feel better and that you got it off your chest. I really am. But this can’t go any farther then this conversation. I’m not ready okay. I just want us to be friends. You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want that to change. Not yet.” She said.
“Yet?” I looked towards her then back at the road. Then back at her and back at the road. She said yet. That had to mean something right.
“Just go with it Bentley.” She looked at me. “Yes I said yet, but that could be ten years from now if I’m ever ready.”
“Fine, I’ll take it,” I said quickly.
She shook her head but didn’t say anything more.
“I’m going to text you tomorrow, and I expect you to text me back. No running okay.” I reached for her hand and held it in mine. “Friends,” I said.
“Friends.” She squeezed my hand back.
It wasn’t exactly the outcome that I was hoping for, but I didn’t have my hopes too high. We were friends and we were going to be friends always. No matter what. I loved that girl. I’d always be there for her no matter what.
We said goodbye for the night and I took my time driving home. A part of me worried that she may not answer me when I texted tomorrow. But if that were to happen then I’d keep hounding her until she came around. That was our thing. At least that night when I went to bed, I’d be a happy man. I’d remember what she said.
Yet.
I’D BEEN SLEEPING LIKE A BABY LATELY. It had been weeks since I’d fully rested. I could never get comfortable. After the other night with Bentley, something just sort of changed. Last night was night number three of un-awakened sleep. It felt freaking awesome, and I couldn’t wait to get home that night and do it again.
When he finally admitted his feelings for me things sort of changed. I answered his text when he messaged the next day as if nothing happened. And yesterday when I worked, we went about our regular routine.
Scared that things were going to be different, I walked like I was on eggshells. But he didn’t let that last. He made me laugh, he made jokes, and he complained about everyday things as if nothing had changed.
He admitted on our dinner date that I was probably his closest friend, and truthfully he was one of mine as well. Outside of Sawyer he was my only other true friend.
When I told him “not yet” about loving him, I sort of shocked myself. Almost as if I was confirming that someday there could be a chance that I would. It just sort of came out that way, but it didn’t feel wrong. I knew I had feelings for him. They were there. I couldn’t hide them from myself. I just didn’t know what to do with them.
This week I had to watch the boys two nights in a row. Layla was out of town and I promised her that I’d be there. They took such great care of me, I couldn’t say no to them.
Ever.
I was ready to get home. Two nights working back to back was unusual for me, and my feet were really hurting. I pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, and there were two cop cars there with their lights on.
What the hell was going on?
I parked and grabbed my bag. As I walked up the walkway, I noticed that they were standing outside my place. The alarm was going nuts.
“Ma’am. Do you live here?” One of the officers asked me.
“Yes, I do. What’s going on?”
“It looks like someone tried to break in, but the alarm went off. Must have scared them off.”
Holy crap. My breathing picked up. What if I had been home? I felt myself getting freaked out. I put my hand to my chest.
“Do you know the code for the alarm?” He asked.
I walked through the door and punched in the code.
“Are you the responsible party for the system, because I’m sure they have tried to call and notify you?”
“It’s my Dad.” I felt the sweat bead up on my forehead.
“Here sit down.” The officer led me to the couch and waited as I took a seat.
“I need to call my Dad so that he won’t be worried.”
The officer nodded.
I dialed Dad’s cell number, and waited until he answered, which didn’t take long.
“Wren, are you okay? I’m getting dressed now.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I lied. “Just a false alarm. No need to worry.” I lied again. If he came over here, he’d be packing me up and taking me back home.
“You’re sure.” He countered.
“Yes I’m sure. Go back to bed.”
“Okay baby, goodnight.”
I hung up the phone, and the officer eyed me curiously. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I think so.” I lied again.
“I sent the other officer to get a lock to replace the one that was broken. I didn’t want to leave you here with a broken lock. The landlords don’t get in any hurry to come rescue you in the middle of the night. He should be right back.”
“Thank you. Maybe I’ll call a friend to come stay with me for the night.” I said, and I was thinking Bentley. He would come. I knew that he would.
Instead of texting, I called him.
“Wren,” he answered with a sleepy voice.
“Can you come stay with me?” My voice was a little shaky although I tried hard for it not to be, but I was scared.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“The police are here, someone tried to break into the apartment.”
“What? Are you okay? Are they still there?” He was freaking out.
So was I.
“Yeah, there here. I’m okay. I just don’t want to spend the night here alone.”
“I’m on my way.” He said. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I heard the sound of the phone clicking off. He was coming.
I folded my hands together and pinched them tightly between my legs to keep them from shaking. The officer’s radio that was attached to his side was going off, and he stood there as if he heard nothing. He was making me more nervous because he looked around as if he was a guard dog. Was he expecting this visitor to be returning?
“My friend is on his way,” I said to fill the silencing void. The quiet was making me worse.
“That’s good.”
I heard a noise coming from the hallway and immediately jumped. Everything was going to make me jumpy for a while. I had that feeling.
The cop walked over to the door and opened it wide.
“Officer Bryan is back with a lock.”
I released the deep breath I’d been holding. Reaching for the pillow on my couch, I pulled it close to me as if it would protect me. I’d never been so scared. There was never a threat of someone breaking in when I lived at home, and I never thought that there would be one here. Dad had this placed wired up like Fort Knox. So I thought. Thankfull
y there was an alarm. Otherwise who knew what the guy would have gotten away with?
I just kept thinking the worst. Terrifying myself even more.
I watched the cops quickly change the lock on my door, and wondered if they did that for everyone. They were probably being nice when they saw me waddle through the door by myself. A young pregnant woman living alone must look helpless.
Hell I was helpless.
If I had come home and found this on my own, it would have been way worse. I would have been so scared that it would have probably sent me into early labor.
“Can I help you?” I heard one of the officer’s say.
“I’m looking for Wren,” I heard a voice say. I knew that voice. That deep calming voice.
“Bentley,” I nearly yelled out.
I jumped up from the couch and ran over to the door. He was making his way inside when I nearly tackled him over. I wrapped my arms around him so hard that I heard him grumble.
“I’m here,” he said. He held me so close and protective. His fingers ran lightly down the back of my head.
I didn’t want to cry, but the tears fell anyway. Something about his smell and the simple touch of his skin to mine made me feel safe.
Protected.
I didn’t want to let go.
“It’s okay. You’re safe. That’s all that matters. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever. Okay?” He repeated the words “you’re safe” over and over and I knew that I was. Felt it in my chest.
“The lock is secure ma’am.” Easily I inched back out of Bentley’s grasp and nodded at the officer. “I’ll be on duty until morning. If there is any other trouble, please give us a call. I don’t suspect they’ll be returning though. Not with that security system.”
“Thank you.” I held out my hand and the officer shook it.
“Of course. Have a good night,” he said handing me the keys to the new lock. He dipped his head once and then left, closing the door behind him.
Before I could get there, Bentley had already reached the door and locked both locks.
“Come here.” He called after me and pulled me back into his arms.
“I’m sorry to make you come here,” I mumbled into his chest.
He gripped me tighter. “Don’t be silly. I’m glad you called. I’ll stay with you. Don’t you worry yourself, okay?”
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