Causing Heartbreak

by Regina Bartley

  She sat there silent, looking down at her belly. “How do you not think I’m crazy? You barely know me Bentley. You can run. I’m giving you your out right now.”

  “I’m sorry, but I won’t be needing it. I’d move mountains for you. For her.” I pointed to her stomach. “I do know you. I may not know the girl you used to be, but I know this girl, and I love her. I love you and baby B, so please don’t take that away from me.” I choked up.

  Her tears were running fiercely down her face. “I won’t. I love you so much. I’m so sorry Bentley.”

  She tried to keep talking, but I wasn’t having any more of it. I had to touch her. I had to.

  I kneeled down on the floor in front of her on my knees and took her face into my hands. I felt her breathing stop, and I imagined her heart was beating as fast as mine.

  I claimed her lips. They were mine. Finally, mine, and it had been far too long since I had touched them. Tasted them. Felt the warmth of them against my own.

  There was a soft moan of pleasure that escaped her body and it made me growl. I had to have this girl, but I knew that I couldn’t just yet. She was on freaking bed rest. But dammit I wanted her so bad.

  I pulled away from her lips and kissed the corner of her mouth. Then her jaw. Then her neck. She shivered and I couldn’t help that proud chest pounding moment I felt. I was like an animal who wanted to claim his mate. I could shout it from the fucking rooftops.

  “I want you Bentley. Take me to bed.”

  “I don’t know babe. You’ve been on bed rest. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “We don’t have to have sex, but I need you to hold me and kiss me senseless.”

  “I can do that.”

  I reached under her and lifted her from the couch.

  “What are you doing?” She screeched. “I’m as big as a cow.”

  “You’re light as a feather.” I kissed her once more before taking her to bed.

  That night I kissed every single inch of her body that I could without sending her back into labor. I told her how much I wanted her, and that she could never run from me again.

  And just before we drifted off to sleep I heard her whisper the sweetest words to me.

  “I’m sorry if I caused you any kind of heartbreak Bentley. I know how it feels to never know if someone loves you back, and I promise I will make sure that you know how I feel about you every day. I love you and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. No more heartbreak. Only unconditional love.”

  January 24th

  DEAR DANE,

  Today our daughter was born. Bayley Danelle Evans. I kept your last name, because no matter what she is still your daughter. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen Dane. She takes my breath away. No matter how much love I have shown for you or Bentley, it will never compare to the love I feel for her. It’s an unmistakable kind of love that just takes over. I wish you were here to see her. She would be the one person that your heart would let you love. I know it.

  She was born early this morning by c-section, but she was perfect when she entered this world. All eight pounds of her. She has some red in her hair, but it’s a much darker shade than mine. And she has your eyes and that perfect nose of yours. She seems to be a bit fussy, and I am totally blaming her attitude on you.

  I promise that I will continue to write you and tell you all about her as she grows up. I will even bring her to visit your grave soon. She will always know that her real dad was amazing, and just how much she looks and acts like you.

  Don’t ever think that I will forget the love that I have for you because I won’t. Ever. I love you always, and I’ll take good care of our daughter. You’ll never have to worry about her.

  Bentley loves her too. He can’t stop looking at her. I hope that you are okay with him being a part of our lives. I love him so much, and he will make sure that me and Bayley are always taken care of and loved. I know he will. He won’t ever try to replace you, but he wants to be a part of her life, and I will let him.

  I love you and him and her. I am pretty damn lucky if you ask me.

  I say this a lot, but I wish you were here. But my wishes are just that. Wishes.

  I need you to promise me that you will be her angel Dane. Look out for her from wherever you are.

  Know that she will have a special place in her heart for you, just like me.

  I love you Always.

  Love,

  Wren

  When I first thought about there being a second book, I knew what was going to happen. I had it all planned out. Then when I wrote the first couple of chapters I started to freak. I kept thinking that readers were going to hate me for what I did. But my best friend Micalea Smeltzer told me that it was my story and I should go with what my gut said. She told me that if I love it then my readers will too. So that means that I am blaming her fully. (I’m an evil genius that way.) Just kidding. I am so glad that she talked me through it because Bentley was born, and I seriously heart Bentley. I love this book so much. It tugged at my heartstrings, and there were times that I wanted to toss it out the damn window, but in the end it has become one of my favorites.

  I have tons of people to thank as usual. My family, of course, because every time I start a book I don’t ever set a deadline and then halfway through I’m like a crazy lady. Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. They still love me all the same and I wouldn’t be where I am now without their support.

  My Beta readers. I love you girls. Thank you so damn much. Becca and NRJ, your notes were freaking fabulous. I know that you have busy lives and I can’t thank you girls enough for taking the time to help me. It means so much to me.

  My BAFF’s Micalea Smeltzer and Harper James. Thank you for your encouraging words. Thank you for keeping me motivated and agreeing to whip me back into shape when I get out of line. I had a couple of meltdowns, but it was those late night talks with Micalea that kept me on track. Sometimes you just need a friend, and I know I have the best in these two.

  My editor Laura for her constant words of encouragement. She is a real life saver and I have developed a wonderful friendship with her. Thank you for keeping me sane, and telling me like it is. I love that about you!

  To all the bloggers. There are so many of you, and I love each and every one of you guys. I can’t thank you enough for your praises, and for sharing your love for my work. You can’t begin to imagine what it means to me. Thank you so much.

  Thank you to my street team. They are crazy amazing. All of their love and support is humbling. They truly are more than just my readers, they’re my family. Love you guys!

  To all of the readers out there thank you so much for your continuous support. Thank you for writing me and telling me what you love about my book, and what you love to hate. You make me want to keep writing. You make me love every minute of what I do. If you have ever met me then, you know that I am beyond touched by each and every one of you. That it means the world to me that anyone takes the time to read my books. So I want to say thank you to you!

  About The Author

  Regina is a contemporary & NA romance writer from Kentucky. She loves spending time with her family and in her free time she can be found behind her computer or a good book. To learn about her new releases or upcoming events, or just to see what she is chatting about, you can visit www.reginabartley.com

  The following pages are excerpts for the books:

  Rae of Sunshine by Micalea Smeltzer &

  Live for Her by Harper James

  Both books are available on Amazon!

  one

  The thing about starting over is it’s not as easy as people say.

  It’s impossible to become a completely different person.

  You can change your hair.

  Your makeup.

  Even your name.

  But at the end of each and every day you’re still the same person you were yesterday, and the day before that.

  I’d spent the last year trying, and failing, t
o become a different person. The shitty events of my life had certainly changed me and I wasn’t the same carefree girl I used to be, but I was still Rachael—or Rae as I preferred to be called now—because no matter how far we run we can never escape ourselves.

  It might’ve been stupid but I felt like hiding behind the new nickname gave me a bit of anonymity. Not that anyone at Huntley University was going to know who I was or what I’d done.

  My eyes fluttered closed as I felt the breeze tickle the skin of my cheeks and I inhaled the scent of lilac.

  For the first time in a year I felt peaceful and centered. Like maybe I was where I belonged—which was funny, since I hadn’t wanted to even go to college after everything that had happened.

  I opened my eyes and grabbed one of my duffel bags from the car and my camera case.

  My camera had always been like a limb to me—an extension of who I was. Even after everything that happened last year I’d never been able to give up photography. It brought me peace when everything else in my life was chaos. I slammed the door closed and locked my car, since I’d have other stuff to get later and I didn’t want anyone trying to steal something. For now, I just wanted to get to my dorm and check things out.

  I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket with the housing information on it. I already had it memorized, but for some reason I found it necessary to read it again.

  With my head bowed I stepped onto the sidewalk.

  I hadn’t taken more than two steps before I fell.

  Only, I didn’t fall—I was knocked to the ground by the force of a very heavy male body.

  I could smell his sweat—even more potent than the lilacs dotting the campus—and it wasn’t the stinky kind of sweat, oh no, he smelled delicious. Like he’d been rolling around the sheets naked for hours having the hottest sex imaginable.

  “Fuck, I’m so sorry!” The guy exclaimed, rolling off of me. He reached down to pull me up, and when he did I ended up plastered against his chest. It was hard and smooth, not a blemish in sight. He kept a tight hold on me so I couldn’t scramble away. “Are you okay?” His eyes roamed over my body as he surveyed any damage he might’ve caused. His eyes lingered longer than necessary.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him, finally looking at his face and—holy-hotness, it should be illegal to be that good looking. Brown hair hung in his eyes, eyes that were so blue that they could only be categorized as cerulean. Stubble dotted his defined jaw and his lips were kissable. They didn’t make guys like this where I was from. Not. At. All.

  Clearing my throat I took a step back, bowing my head so that my hair hid my suddenly flushed face. I couldn’t believe I was ogling the guy who’d just knocked me down. Or any guy for that matter. I hadn’t allowed myself to look twice at any guy in over a year. Not since…

  I shook my head free of my thoughts and reached down for my camera case. Luckily it was heavy duty and I didn’t need to worry about my camera being damaged.

  Without a second look at the guy that had knocked me over I dusted the dirt off my camera case and walked away. He might’ve been hot, but I wasn’t going down that road.

  He jogged after me. Of course. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he grabbed my arm, “you’re not getting away that fast.”

  I looked at him and then at the spot where we’d fallen. There was a football lying there and I assumed it was the reason he’d run in to me.

  “Uh,” I pointed to the fallen ball, “it looks to me like you have a game to get back to.” My pulse thudded in my throat at the feel of his hand on my arm. I felt a light sweat break out across my skin. I couldn’t understand my body’s reaction to the stranger. For the first time in a year I felt…alive. It made no sense.

  I pulled my arm from his hold, since he still hadn’t let go. Unfortunately it did nothing to alleviate the feelings he produced inside me.

  He saw the ball and looked behind him. That’s when I noticed the other sweaty guys watching us. They were all good looking but they had nothing on the Adonis in front of me.

  “They can wait,” he grinned, looking boyish. “What’s your name?”

  I couldn’t understand why Hottie-McHot-Pants was talking to me. I was nothing special. From the looks of him he had to be a junior or a senior and I was a freshman. Besides, if he was looking for an easy lay he needed to look elsewhere.

  “Why do you want to know?” I countered.

  He chuckled. “I mean, I did lay on top of you, so I figured I should at least know your name.”

  My cheeks heated further and I bit down on my tongue. Something told me he wasn’t going to leave me alone until I told him my name. “Rachael,” I answered, “but I prefer to be called Rae.”

  “Rae,” he repeated, a small smile causing his lips to crook at the corners, “I like it.” He held out his hand. “I’m Cade.”

  I looked at his hand and then at his face before taking a step back. “I didn’t ask for your name.”

  He let his hand fall and smiled like he wasn’t at all upset by my actions. Chuckling he said, “Well, now you know it.”

  Giving him an awkward smile, I turned to leave.

  I only made it three steps before he called, “Rae?”

  I swiveled around to face him and tilted my head to the side. “Yeah?”

  “I’ll see you around.”

  It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. I could tell Cade was the very determined type. Unfortunately for him, I was very determined not to know him or anyone for that matter. I was here to get my education and disappear again. I wasn’t looking for any connections. Connections meant feelings, and feelings meant attachments, and attachments made you do stupid things.

  I’d lost the piece of paper with my dorm information and I almost went back to get it. But since I had it memorized, and going back meant taking the chance of running into Cade again, I decided not to.

  The amount of people bustling around campus made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but it was easier to blend in and appear normal so I’d have to learn to deal with it.

  I jogged up the steps of my dorm building and breezed inside.

  I was nervous, but you wouldn’t know it if you saw me. I was a master at concealing my emotions.

  Muttering my room number under my breath, I stopped outside the door when I found it.

  I took a deep, steadying breath, and wrapped my hand around the knob.

  This was it.

  This was the moment that would forever change my life.

  I knew it.

  And then I walked into an explosion of Pepto-Bismol.

  “What. The. Fuck?” I gasped, looking around at all the pink.

  Pink bedspread. Pink rug. Pink pillows. Pink blanket. Pink chair.

  Pink everything.

  “My eyes!” I cried as I slapped a hand over my face.

  “You must be my roommate!” An overly chipper voice sing-songed.

  I lowered my hand and— “Gah!” I gasped in shock. The pretty strawberry blonde in front of me even wore a pink shirt. Thank God her shorts weren’t pink or I might’ve had a heart attack. Death by Over Exposure to the Color Pink—now that was a headline.

  I couldn’t believe I was going to have to live with this for the next ten or so months of my life. Kill. Me. Now.

  I looked down at my dark hair and black clothes. I didn’t see how I was going to get along with the Barbie Doll in front of me. We were clearly polar opposites.

  “I’m Thea,” she held out a hand. What was up with everyone wanting to shake my hand today?

  Skirting around her, I headed towards the plain side of the small room.

  She followed me, either oblivious to the brush off or ignoring it. “You must be Rachael.”

  “Rae,” I corrected her, dropping my bag on the bed and refusing to turn around. “I prefer to be called Rae.”

  “Oh, okay. Rae is a pretty name. I mean, so is Rachael, but Rae is cooler. I—”

  “Do you ever stop talking? Or breathe?” I wheeled around t
o find her all up in my personal space.

  “Sorry,” she frowned. “I’m nervous.”

  “Obviously,” I muttered. “Look, Thea?” She nodded. “I’m not here to make friends. So, don’t expect any late night talks with me, or nail painting, or whatever else it is you’ve conjured up in your head.”

  “Oh,” her face fell.

  I turned back to my duffle bag and dumped my clothes on the bare bed. I needed to go back out to my car and get everything else. My mom had made sure I had everything I needed, since she knew I’d never do any shopping on my own. I had changed a lot in the last year, and I no longer cared about much of anything.

  I hadn’t always been such a depressed person, but then life dealt me a pretty shitty card and I handled it my own way. Nothing I did could make me forget that day.

  Once all my clothes were put away, I headed towards the door.

  “Where are you going?” Thea spoke up from where she lounged on her bed. I still had to repress my gag reflex from all the pink.

  “To my car,” I answered, glaring at her.

  “Cool, you want some help?” She asked, bouncing up. Before I could answer, she invited herself by saying, “Okay, good.”

  She was like an over eager golden retriever. I didn’t quite know what to do with her peppy personality compared to my doom and gloom one. Something told me this was going to be a long year.

  As we walked through the building, she said, “My brother goes to school here. He’s kind of a big deal.”