by Naomi Miller
The words seemed so certain—yet so impossible. There was already much in their way—things they could not ignore. . . mountains that they would have to move. And all they had right now was feeling. . . attraction. There was no relationship. There was nothing to hold them together, no common ground, no ties, nothing but tenuous and fragile maybes.
But dear Gott, I do care for him! I do! I do not understand. Why did you bring him into my life if I cannot choose him? What do you want me to do? Help me please.
She looked over at Travis again. This time, she laid her hand on his arm. When he glanced her way, she gave him a tentative smile. He said nothing. Gathering her courage, she spoke to him. “Travis, say something. Please.”
“Well. . . what are you thinking?”
“To be honest with you, I am thinking of what Mrs. O'Neal said before she left. I cannot seem to think of anything else.”
“Yeah, me too.” He shook his head. “Look, Katie. She means well, but I know what a sacrifice it would be for you to leave your faith. I would never ask that of you.”
“You would never. . .” She tried to ignore the hurt that his words stirred within her. He spoke of her faith, but not of his feelings. Could she be wrong about how he felt about her? “Well, but what if my faith was not part of it? What if I were not Amish? What if I was Englisch? What difference would that make to you?”
“What difference? What are you talking about? You are Amish! I can't even. . . no, it wouldn't be right.” He shook his head again, quicker, stronger—and Katie wondered if she was imagining that it looked as if he were trying to convince himself, as well as her.
“I know what my family expects. What the church expects. But I keep coming back to what Mrs. O'Neal said. Her words make sense Travis. I cannot. . . I will not ignore them. But none of that matters. . . if you don't care for me the way. . .” She left the words there, worried she had already said too much.
“No, I can't. I just can't do it.”
“You can't do what? What can't you do? You can't think of me that way—the way she was talking about? You've never cared? Never wanted me as a girlfriend?”
With a squeal of the brakes, Travis pulled to the side of the road. Turning the engine off, he shifted and looked at Katie. “What are you thinking, Katie!”
“I am thinking that what she said does not matter because you are not thinking about me the way she—“
“Don't be dense, Katie. You're the only girl I've wanted to be with since I met you.” He leaned away from her, looking out the front window—and his jaw was very tight for a moment before he turned back to her and kept going. “I would give anything to be your boyfriend. Anything. I even thought about joining the Amish church, but I don't think I should join just because I want you. A decision like that can't be made because of a person. It should be all about God. That's why you will join the church.”
“But what if God is not leading me to join the church. What if I choose to leave the Amish? What if you are more important to me than being Amish?”
A moment later, Travis pulled Katie close to him as his lips sought hers. Then he kissed her.
Wow!
Katie's mind was a jumble of confusion. Never had she been kissed on the lips. Never had she been kissed by a buwe!
Correction—a man.
Happy. Excited. Scared. Thrilled.
Never had she felt such emotions rushing through her. Just as she felt as if the kiss was binding them together so tightly, they would never truly be separated again, he ended the kiss.
As he pulled away, her hand came up to touch her lips. Then she touched his lips, before placing her hand on his chest.
Soft. . . she would never have imagined his lips to be so soft. And hard. . . she could feel his heart pounding beneath her hand.
His eyes met hers, then he kissed her again.
* * *
When he felt her trembling, Travis stopped kissing Katie and pulled her against him in a gentle hug. He stayed that way for less time than he would like, but he knew he had to let her go and back away so they could think. . . talk. . . figure this all out.
When he let go and leaned back, she was watching him, her cheeks so rosy, he could see the flush even in the moonlight. “Katie, are you all right?”
“Jah, I am gut. What does this mean, Travis?”
“Uh, I'm pretty sure it means I want you to be my girlfriend.” He smiled at himself, surprised he could be so cool about what had seemed so impossible just a few minutes ago. “Is that all right? Could we do that? Could that even work out for us?”
“Jah. If you want it to, and I want it to, why can't we make it work?”
“Well, yeah, that would be great! I'm just wondering about the Amish-English thing. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure we can find a way to make it work out?”
“Jah, I'm sure. Travis, are you sure?”
“Of course I'm sure. I lo. . . I wa. . . yes. . . Yes, Katie, I'm sure.”
“Gut. This is wunderbaar!”
“Gut. I mean good. I don't know how to court you, but I know I want to. But we should talk about it tomorrow. For now I guess I should take you home. I don't want your parents to worry.” Starting the engine, Travis took Katie's hand and laid it over his on the shift knob, holding her delicate fingers as best he could while driving slowly down the road towards her home.
When he started down the driveway, Katie asked him to stop.
“If it is allrecht Travis, I think it would be better if I go in by myself for now. But I am looking forward to talking to you tomorrow.”
“How about I pick you up in the morning. We can drive in together. I'll go back to pick up Gwen after I drop you off at work.
“You can just bring Gwen with you when you pick me up, silly.”
“Nope. I want a few minutes alone with you, especially without my chatterbox sister. I can't think of a better way to begin the day.”
“Allrecht. I'll be waiting at the road where we usually meet.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Travis leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
She surprised him by turning her head a bit and kissing his cheek before he moved away.
“Gut night.”
Katie's Red Velvet Cake
Ingredients:
2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour (sifted)
1 tsp salt
½ cup shortening
1 ½ cups sugar
2 oz red food coloring
2 large eggs
1 cup buttermilk
2 tbsp cocoa
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp vinegar
Instructions:
1. Cream together shortening, sugar and eggs.
2. Mix food coloring and cocoa.
3. Add to wet mixture.
4. Add salt, flour, buttermilk and vanilla.
5. Gently blend in baking soda and vinegar.
6. Grease and lightly flour three 8” cake pans.
7. Pour batter into cake pans.
8. Bake in pre-heated oven for 30 minutes at 350°.
10. Cakes should be allowed to cool before icing.
11. Spreading cream cheese frosting between layers and, if desired, over top of cake.
Note. Also makes 30 cupcakes. Bake 16-20 minutes.
Note. Recipe for frosting included in this book.
Katie's Cream Cheese Frosting
Ingredients:
8 oz cream cheese
8 tbsp unsalted butter
4 cups confectioners' sugar
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
Instructions:
1. Let cream cheese soften to room temperature.
2. And let butter soften to room temperature.
2. Blend cream cheese and butter until smooth.
3. Add pure vanilla and blend well.
3. Stir in confectioners' sugar.
4. Beat until smooth.
Note. In Katie's opinion, this i
s the best frosting to use for Red Velvet Cakes, Carrot Cakes, and Pumpkin Cakes.
— TEN —
Travis was looking forward to the party later today. This would be the first Valentine's Day he actually had a reason to celebrate. This year, he would be celebrating the holiday with his girlfriend!
Last night, after he left Katie, he had driven around for a while, thinking about his day. Before he had headed for home, he'd driven to the edge of town—to the only store still open so late—to buy Katie a Valentine's Day card, something that he had never expected to be able to give her.
A sweet card for his sweetheart.
Looking around at all of the hearts and flowers, he had gotten into the spirit of the thing, buying a card for his mom and sister—and candy for his brothers. Not that they really needed it. . . but he couldn't help himself. He was just so excited over Katie.
Bobby had already been asleep when he'd gotten home, and while he'd missed getting to talk to his little brother, he was glad to have a chance to hide the gifts he had gotten for everyone.
He decided not to say anything to his family about his and Katie's decision. . . yet. He wanted to make certain Katie wouldn't change her mind. Or more to the point, that her parents or the leaders in her church wouldn't do whatever it took to change her mind.
He'd woken early, said a prayer for everything to be all right and that he and Katie could celebrate the holiday together. Then he had left early so he would have a chance to stop by the only florist in town on his way to Katie's house. Thankfully with the holiday, it was open extra early.
He didn't want to go overboard, but he was still so caught up in the mood. . . in the possibilities. . . he had to talk himself out of several different arrangements before finally settling on something that was special—without being too much—for his new sweetheart. He wanted to do whatever he could to make this day a perfect memory for Katie.
Driving over to pick her up, he thought about how different things were from yesterday. Starting now, his life was heading towards a new direction.
* * *
He was leaning against the car, waiting at the road when he saw Katie walking towards him.
“Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart.” He handed her the card and a single pink rose.
“Danki. Ach, I didn't get anything for you.” She flushed with embarrassment, and he rushed to reassure her.
“It's not as if you had the same chance as I did to stop on my way here. Besides, you being my girlfriend is the only gift I want from you.”
When she took the rose and sniffed it sweetly, he leaned toward her. “May I kiss you, Katie?” He asked, hoping she'd say yes, but still not entirely sure of it.
Last night he hadn't asked if he could kiss her; he had acted entirely on impulse. Today he wanted to show her that he was thinking of her feelings.
“Jah, I guess so.”
“You aren't sure, Katie-girl? I want you to be sure.”
“Nee, I'm sure.”
Rather than lean in more, he reached around her, pulling her gently towards him. Then he bent his head toward her slowly, waiting for her to make the next move.
Almost immediately, she moved nearer until his lips met hers in a gentle kiss.
Their kisses last night had left him feeling out of control, excited. . . hungry for more. This kiss was sweet, soft, tender and still so much more. It was innocent, but still. . . it was the kiss of a woman—to a man, not two silly teenagers.
When the kiss ended, he gave her a hug, not quite ready to let go yet—and then helped her into the car. Before starting the engine, he took possession of her hand again, amazed at how good it felt just holding her hand in his.
When he parked at the bakery, he rushed to get out first, walking around the car to open her door for her, taking her hand and then walking with her to the building. While she unlocked the door, he stood there, watching her until a light blush crept up her cheeks.
Once inside, he looked around to see that all was as it should be and then, because he wanted to kiss her again, he walked over to where she was already starting to line ingredients up on the work table.
“I would like to kiss you again, but it's probably better that I leave and pick up Gwen. When we get back, she can be our chaperone.”
Katie giggled at that. “You are thinking we need a chaperone?”
“Well, maybe. Maybe not.” And he winked at her before adding, “Katie, I've had a couple of girlfriends, but nothing serious. Neither one lasted long. I want this one to last a long time. . . maybe even. . . how does forever sound?” The moment he said it, he wondered if he was rushing things too much.
“Forever sounds wunderbaar.”
“Well, then how about you give me a quick kiss and send me on my way. I'll be back before you can miss me.”
“Nee, I will miss you. But as you say, you'll be back soon. . . with my helper.” She giggled again, then leaned towards him and placed a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. He moved towards the back door reluctantly a moment later—and, with a quick wave goodbye, he left.
* * *
An hour later, Mr. O'Neal dropped off his wife at the bakery. He came in with her, bringing flowers and cards for Katie, Freida and Bella. Mrs. O'Neal explained that she planned to stay an hour or so, then walk across to the cafe since she and Andrew were planning a Valentine's Day Celebration for the employees of The Sweet Shop and the Irish Blessings Cafe. Then she reassured them that she planned to return to the bakery—after decorating the cafe–to help out until closing.
They had been reminding customers all week that the bakery would close at three o-clock, two hours earlier than usual. After that, the employees could walk across the street to the Irish Blessings Cafe, where the party would be.
They all knew it would be non-stop action from the time they opened until they closed.
“It's Valentine's Day!” Mrs. O'Neal was more excited than she'd been in years to celebrate the holiday of love.
* * *
Katie had worked extra hard this morning—to get as much as possible done before Travis returned with his schweschder—so that she could spend a few minutes talking to him.
Fortunately, Gwen had been distracted by her phone when they arrived and had paid no attention to her brother and co-worker, so Katie and Travis had been able to talk about the party this afternoon and about how they would find time to celebrate on their own afterward. Travis had even snuck in several kisses before he'd been forced to leave, and head to the cafe in time to help out with the breakfast rush.
All morning Katie had worked, making certain orders were ready for customers to pick up, baking treats, and putting special touches on last-minute purchases. They always had extra cakes made up for this holiday because they knew customers would kumme in looking for them today.
And they all knew that customers would be lined up on the sidewalk long before the bakery opened. During special holidays, Englischers came from as far away as Indiana, Kentucky and Missouri to buy delicious holiday treats. And while there, they would stock up on breads, jams and butters.
The bakery would no doubt sell out of pretty much all the breads and pastries. Cookies and other special Valentine treats would likely sell out before the end of the day and they would have to improvise something for someone. It always seemed that no matter how much they prepared for this holiday, they always sold out of something that someone needed desperately.
Katie wondered if it pleased Mr. O'Neal that his wife's business was going so well or if he worried it would take time away from them. . . especially since he had his own business to worry over. She thought about it as she made up another batch of the heart-shaped cookies she knew Andrew O'Neal liked.
Ever since she and Travis had made the decision to start dating, she had found herself watching those around her and wondering about their relationships.
She watched Mr. and Mrs. O'Neal until he left to go to the cafe. She listened to Freida go on about her plans with her new husband
—and she watched Bella as both women gushed about their love.
Bella did not look unhappy for either woman, which surprised Katie, since she would be all alone for the holiday—and with a baby on the way.
Katie wanted to ask her about the father, but between being so busy—and feeling like she barely knew the young woman, the right time simply never presented itself, so Katie let it go.
Instead she laughed with everyone about Mrs. O'Neal sharing about how she teased her husband. . . saying that she would have the most customers today for sure.
— ELEVEN —
Laughter rang throughout the bakery. “You should have seen them. Levi and Samuel were running as fast as they could to outrun that bull. When they finally made it back to the house, they were covered in mud and slop. Their mamm was not amused.” Freida was sharing yet another tale about Thomas' younger bruders with a customer.
All morning long, the bell had never stopped ringing as customers came and went. Freida, Bella, and Mrs. O'Neal—before she left to help decorate the cafe—took care of them, while Katie stayed in the kitchen.
They truly had a wunderbaar system. Whenever a customer came in to pick up an order placed ahead of time, Bella would bring a copy of the order to Katie, who pulled it from the walk-in cooler. Then Bella took it out front where Freida would ring up the order and take the payment. Meanwhile, Bella would take the order of the next customer in line. This routine worked well for the girls and customers left fairly quickly.
* * *
“Katie?” Freida rushed through the swinging doors. “We have a customer who insists that she placed an order—a rather large one—but she doesn't have her receipt and I can't find anything on it.”
“Ach, is it someone you know? Did you write down what she said she ordered?”
“Nee, I don't remember seeing her before. Here's what she supposedly ordered. . . three loaves of pumpkin bread, a triple chocolate cake, and three dozen sugar cookies with red icing.”