The Air I Breathe

by K. Renee

  “Sager,” she calls when I ignore her as I brush past her.

  It always ends like this with us. Shit starts going good and then I want more. I beg her to give me more, and she refuses. Refuses to leave him.

  “Sager!”

  “What, Cameo?” I stop in the hallway and turn to face her. “What do you want from me?” It always comes back to this fucking question.

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Spare me the bullshit, I’m tired of hearing it.” Her hands reach out to touch me, and the moment she does, it feels like I’m being burned. I just want her, all of her. It isn’t that hard, yet I feel like I’m fighting a war. A war I’ll never win.

  “You are the only thing I want, Cam. I would give you the world if you asked for it. I may not have the kind of money he does, but I’ll love you forever. I’d take care of you, our kids, and any other fucking thing you wanted. I’d give it all to you if you let me.”

  More tears fall down her face, and I ache to pull her into my arms.

  I’ve never had a woman have me this messed up before, and I hate what it’s doing to me. I don’t want anyone other than her. I want to bury myself so far into her skin that she can never get rid of me, but it will never be me.

  “You shouldn’t want those things with me. I’m a liar, a cheater. Nothing can ever be right between us. Once a cheater, always a cheater, right?”

  I can’t help but laugh at her for that. “Cameo, that isn’t you. You cheated on him, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’ll cheat on me. Not if you loved me the way I love you.”

  “Sager, stop saying the L word.”

  “No, Cam. I want you to know how I feel about you. I’m tired of skirting around my feelings for you.”

  “I can’t do this.” She shakes her head and turns to head out the front door.

  I watch her walk away for the hundredth time and even though I know it should piss me off, it just tells me that I don’t have her the way I want her. She’ll come back to me after she cools off and just like the idiot I am, I’ll be sitting here waiting.

  ---

  Six hours later, I’m sitting at the bar with Jenner, Ryker, and G. All of us have had far too much to drink, and Mandy is our lucky sober driver. I promised her that I would give her an extra few nights off to spend with her man and she jumped at the chance.

  Grabbing the beer that was placed in front of me, I scan the room for the eighth time, knowing that she would never be caught dead in a place like this. When I don’t see her again, I turn and find a pretty little brunette standing there staring at me.

  Her eyes travel up and down me before she licks her lips. I groan and look to Jenner who has a smirk on his face. “You really gonna cheat on a woman who isn’t yours?” I punch him in the shoulder and move off my bar stool.

  “Fuck you, Jenner. You don’t know shit about Cam and I.” I sway slightly, and he reaches out to hold me up.

  “I know that you’ll hate yourself in the morning because you are in love with her.”

  “Yeah, I’ve never seen you like this, Sager. She must have that magical pussy,” G says with a grin.

  “She doesn’t have shit. She walked out when I told her I was falling in love with her.”

  Ryker winces, and I roll my eyes. “Fuck it. I’m done letting her play me like a fucking idiot. If she wants me, she needs to fucking kiss that asshole goodbye.”

  As I start to move from my chair toward the brunette, I hear Jenner call out my name. I turn my head just in time to see Cameo walking into the bar.

  “Good fucking thing he didn’t have his tongue down the brunette’s throat yet.” G laughs.

  When Cameo reaches me, she grabs my shirt and pulls me in for a scorching hot kiss that has my drunk brain all sorts of fucked. Her heels have her closer to my height and fuck, I just want to take her into the bathroom to bend her over and fuck her.

  “Cam,” I whisper when she releases her hold on me.

  “I love you too.”

  I close my eyes as the words she just said hit me. My hands grab the back of her head, and I kiss her again. I’ve been dying to fucking hear those words come from her mouth for far too long.

  “Fuck babe, say it again,” I murmur against her mouth.

  “I love you, Sager.” I wrap my arms around her and hold her body against mine.

  “The brunette looks like she wants to scratch Cam’s eyes out now.” Ryker laughs. I ignore his comment, but Cameo looks over at the brunette the guys are watching.

  “Who is she?” Cameo asks me.

  I shrug, and they all start to laugh their asses off.

  “She was going to be his fun for the night until you showed up.” She looks between the guys before she looks at me.

  “What? I told you earlier.”

  She frowns at that but doesn’t say anything.

  I may say that I’m going to fuck other women, but we all know that I won’t. I’m too hung up on Cameo to even get my dick up for anyone else, but I won’t tell her that. I rather have her think that she could lose me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I needed to tell you that I love you. I hate when we fight, and I regret walking out. I should have told you then, but I was scared. If I say it, then it’s real, and my life is already a huge mess.” Grabbing her hand, I drag her out of the bar with me.

  As soon as the cold air hits my skin, I sober up a little.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask when I walk her back into the wall of the bar.

  She just shakes her head in answer.

  “Cam, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Just tell me.”

  Cameo lets out a heavy sigh and finally tells me. “He’s moving us to New York.”

  I feel like I got the wind knocked out of me. He’s moving her away.

  He’s going to take the air I breathe right away from me, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

  Seventeen

  Cameo

  Sager punches the wall next to my head and I yelp.

  I know he would never hit me, but the sound of his fist connecting with the wooden boards cracks through the silent night.

  “Cameo, I need you to end things with him. Don’t go with him. Stay with me.” He all but begs me.

  I want to say yes, that I will stay with him but I can’t. I don’t even know how I’m going to tell him the rest of what is scaring me.

  The thought of never seeing Sager again is killing me. I should have told him first thing this morning when I slipped into his bed, but I was terrified. Then we were fighting, and I knew that it wasn’t the right time either.

  He keeps asking me to leave Alec, but one thing keeps me right where I am, drifting between the two of them.

  “I can’t,” I whisper, part of me breaking inside because deep down I know now that Sager is the man I belong with.

  A tear falls down my cheek, and he wipes it away with his thumb. “Just tell me why you won’t leave him.”

  “I can’t tell you here. Can we go back to your place?” He nods his head and kisses my forehead before he grabs my hand, pulling me into the bar with him.

  “Hey, I’m taking off. I’ll see you assholes later.” The guys all say their goodbyes, and we leave the bar, hand in hand.

  When we get outside, I look around for his car, but don’t see it. “You didn’t drive, did you?”

  “Do you think I’m an idiot?”

  I kiss his cheek and pull him toward my car.

  Once we are inside, the silence envelops me, and I try like heck not to let it get to me. Instead, I just drive to his place, ignoring the fact that he is staring at me the whole way there.

  When I shut off the engine in his driveway. I turn to him, finally getting a really good look at him tonight. His eyes are glossed over and I know he’s still drunk. I don’t want to tell him everything while he’s in this state of mind, so I lean forward and press a k
iss to his lips instead.

  “Come on, I’m tired and want to go to bed.” He frowns but doesn’t disagree. The trudge to his front door is quick, but I have him leaning most of his weight on me.

  When we finally fall into bed, I’m so mentally and physically exhausted that I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.

  ---

  I wake to Sager’s hand squeezing my breast. His other hand is between my thighs, and although I’m horny as all get out, I need to talk to him first. When his lips trail down my neck, I have to stop him.

  “We need to talk.”

  He groans and rolls over to his back. “Every time a woman has ever told me that, it’s been bad news. You already told me he’s moving you to New York and you still won’t leave him, what else? Huh, Cam? I can only take so much more.”

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.

  His tan skin goes pale for a second before he sits up and stares at me. “This is why you won’t leave him.” I bite the side of my lip, not wanting to tell him that he’s right. He’s going to hate me when I tell him. “You don’t know which one of us is the father.”

  I close my eyes, and the tears start to fall. He’s right. I have no clue who is the father, and I hate myself for that.

  “Did you use protection with him?” I nod my head yes but then I know I have to tell him the rest.

  “The other night I told Alec I was pregnant and it was like he knew already. He had this smug look on his face, and when I asked him about it he just said, ‘about time it worked.’ I tried to piece it together, and when I realized it, he was talking about moving to New York and the wedding.”

  “You mean he tried to get you pregnant on purpose?” I nod my head, knowing that it all sounds crazy. But Sager and I have never used protection before. I never even thought about it when I was with him.

  “I don’t know what to do, Sager. Everything is a mess and if he was really trying to get me pregnant, why all of a sudden am I pregnant when we’ve been having sex without protection for months?” More tears fall down my face, and he wraps me in his arms and holds me to his chest.

  “We’ll figure it out, babe. I’m not just letting you go.” I cry harder into his chest because I know he didn’t sign up for this. He didn’t want to be part of whatever this road I’m on entails. “How far along are you?”

  “Six weeks.”

  My heart starts to pound. I can see him doing the math in his head, and then he grins. “He was gone. You were with me for almost a month when he was out of the country.”

  I suck in a breath and I stare at him.

  “This baby could be mine.” His hands grab the back of my head, pulling me to his mouth.

  “I hope it is,” I whisper against his lips. “I just wish things were different. That I would have just left when I fell out of love with Alec.”

  “I’m right here. You say the word, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you with me.”

  I kiss him again. “Thank you, Sager. I love you.”

  “I love you too babe. Now, I want you to ride me since you fell asleep as soon as your head hit my pillow last night.” I roll my eyes at him, but it makes me smile too.

  “I can’t help it. I’m growing a little person inside of me. I’ve been so dang exhausted lately.” He puts his hand on my still flat stomach and presses his mouth to mine.

  “I’m not letting you leave, not now.” A look of unease passes over his features, and I know this isn’t going to be easy on either of us.

  Alec wanted to move next month, and now I don’t know what to do or how to postpone it.

  I don’t want to leave, but more importantly, I don’t want to lose Sager. Closing my eyes, I let Sager kiss me.

  He pulls me on top of him, and before I can even move, he moves me so I’m practically sitting on his face. His fingers slide my panties to the side and his tongue brushes against my heated flesh. “I want you to ride my tongue,” he murmurs against my skin.

  As his tongue swipes along my core, I grip the headboard and try like hell to hold on. Every movement of his tongue feels freaking amazing, and it doesn’t take long before my legs are quivering. I ride his tongue just like he told me and my hips buck and I moan out his name as I come hard. He continues to lick and suck my clit into his mouth as I ride out my orgasm and when the spasms stop, he pulls me down his body and slams the head of his erection into me.

  “Sager!” I call out. Every inch of my body tightens, and I let out a choppy breath.

  “Tell me you love me.” It’s a plea, and I hate that I’m the one who makes him second guess everything between us.

  “I love you, Sager. You’re the air I breathe.” He lifts his shirt up my body and tosses it on the ground somewhere by the bed. His lips trail over my chest, and his hand grabs my shoulders, pulling me down harder on him. Every thrust of his hips has us both crying out in pleasure, and I want like hell for things to be different.

  If only I’d met Sager sooner. If only I never fell in love with Alec.

  Our bodies move in perfect sync and the feel of his hands on me remind me of the truths that sometimes I try to hide.

  The love I have for Sager is something that I will never take for granted again. I’ve done it this whole time and look where it’s gotten me. He thinks that I don’t love him most days because I’m afraid to admit it.

  I’m afraid of falling.

  I roll my hips, and we come together. I collapse on him, and he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly to his body.

  “I love you, Cameo. Please leave him. I can provide for you and the baby. It doesn’t even have to be mine. I’ll still love him or her like they were. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.”

  Tears fall from my eyes, and I don’t say a word. I let him hold me and try to think of what to do.

  ---

  My phone rings a few hours later, and I know it’s Alec before I even move to get it. Sager and I have spent most of the morning in bed after I threw up from morning sickness and he even fed me crackers and ginger ale to help with the nausea.

  “Don’t answer it. He can make his own lunch. You’re mine.” Sager wraps his arms around my middle and cuddles into me.

  “As much as I want to lie in bed with you all day, you have a job to get to, and I have some things to figure out.”

  “Fine, but he’s leaving soon, right?” I nod my head yes and kiss his lips.

  “You’ll have me all to yourself for a week while he’s looking at houses.”

  “Thank fuck. I need way more time with you. I want to wake up to you every morning and watch your belly grow.”

  I bite the inside of my lip to keep my emotions from showing. When he says things like that, I fall even harder for the man.

  “I love you.” He kisses me again before letting me get up.

  I look at the screen of my phone and see Alec’s name there. I click open the text and read it.

  Alec: My flight is delayed. I’ll be here another night.

  “Look.” I show Sager the screen, and he pulls me into his arms.

  “Good. I didn’t want you to leave yet anyway. Now get under the covers and let me take care of you the rest of the day.” He kisses along my neck, and I melt into his embrace. “If you get out of bed for anything other than to puke or use the bathroom, I’ll tie you down to the bed.”

  I push against his chest, and he just grins at me.

  “You can’t keep me in bed all day and night.”

  “Wanna bet?” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he just grins. “Let me take care of you. I’ll keep you hydrated, fed, and fucked thoroughly all day long.”

  “You are insane.”

  “Eh, maybe. But I already told you, I’d do anything for you Cam.”

  “I know,” I whisper. My hand inches to reach out and touch him. Sliding under the covers, I cuddle into his side. He presses his lips to my forehead, and I close my eyes. Sager Stone loves me, and no matter what disaster happens next, I know that
I’ll always have a safe place to run to.

  Now if I could just end things with Alec so I don’t have to lie or cheat anymore. I want to be able to live without all the stress that has been piling up on me over the last seven months.

  Eighteen

  Sager

  It’s been three days since that fucker has been home and I haven’t gotten to see Cameo since.

  When I tried to get her to come to me this morning, she said that she had some things to do and that she’d call me later, but I know that it’s because of him. He’s had her in his bed every night since she left me and I want to kill the bastard for it.

  I already know he’s fucked her and she was thinking about me through it all. As much as I want to call and demand that she comes over here, I don’t. She hates when I get all demanding on her ass, but I think she secretly loves it when I tell her what to do.

  Lying back in my bed, I look at the sonogram picture she left here. The baby doesn’t even look like anything more than a little blip on the screen, but she swears that there is a baby in the photo.

  What I don’t tell her is that my worst fear is starting to come true. Alec might be the father to this kid, and there won’t be a damn thing I can do to change it. If that kid is his, she won’t leave him. She’ll stay right there by his side still being the dutiful fiancée and mother to his child.

  We never used protection, and once he started to poke holes in the protection, she winds up pregnant. But then again it could have happened. My sister tried to get pregnant for years before it finally happened. I just have to keep hope or whatever it is, that this kid is mine.

  I mean it could be a coincidence, but I don’t know for sure.

  The thoughts of him being the father and taking them away to New York are eating away at me. I can’t lose them. Halfway across the country isn’t going to work for me. I need her here with me.

  My phone rings and I see her name on the screen.

  “Hey beautiful,” I greet.

  “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

  I sit up in bed and check the clock on the nightstand. It’s a little after eight in the morning, and it’s not like her to call me until after he goes to work.