Cherry Grove (The Cove Series Book 1)

by Leaona Luxx

  I turn to face him knowing all hell is about to break loose, because it’s obvious he’s not leaving, and I can no longer run.

  “I…umm, maybe you should…”

  He stops me there, not allowing me to continue. “Hell no! Hadlea, you’re not doing this to us, to you again. Talk to me. Just tell me what’s going on. Tell me the truth. Stop thinking so damn much and start talking to me!”

  “Funny thing about the truth, everyone wants to know it, but no one wants to hear it,” I remark, my tone flat and bland.

  One stares at me, eyebrow cocked in bewilderment. “Hadlea, I want to hear everything you have to say, and I’m not going anywhere, so let’s get to it.”

  I can’t tell him everything, but he deserves most of it. What am I going to do? I’m tired of running, allowing my past to dictate my life. He thinks he wants it, then I’ll tell him. We’ll see if he sticks around when he learns the truth…I pray he does.

  “So, you want the truth? Good and bad? Happy and sad? Saint and sinner?” Rolling my eyes as I ask.

  He growls in irritation, “Please stop that, I know it’s all a coping mechanism.”

  He’s such an ass. He’s also right. “Fine. Sit down, please. Coffee? Tea?” I offer, giving myself a couple minutes to gather my thoughts and gumption.

  “I’ll get some sweet tea. You sit. Can I get you anything?”

  Valium? Xanax? Straight razor?

  “I’m good, thank you,” I tell him and take a seat at the table.

  After pouring his drink, he joins me at the table. “All right, baby, the floor is yours.”

  I’m scared, terrified, and when I start speaking, my voice trembles. “I need you to promise you won’t say anything until I’m done. Can you do that?” When he warily nods in agreement, I begin my story; the horrible reality of my past. “My life hasn’t been pretty—not by a long shot. I need you to understand something before I continue, my parents had no clue any of this happened. I never wanted them to know, either. It would’ve ended them.”

  Drawing in a deep breath, I press forward. “I was six the first time my brother molested me. I didn’t understand anything that was happening. Deep down, I knew it was wrong, but he convinced me it was my fault. I still blame myself. I should’ve told someone. No matter how scared I was, I should have told someone. The abuse continued for years until I was too old for him or just didn’t interest him anymore. Then he passed me along to a few of his friends. I was so clueless. I thought they liked me, but it turns out he owed them money and I became his means to pay off his debts. He always insisted they liked me and that’s what girls did with guys.

  “At this point, I figured everyone knew about me and this was the best I would ever get in life, so I went with it. Even later, when they told me my brother’s debts were paid, I still did it. Over and over, I believed they liked me. They fucked me, and I let it happen. I can tell you how many partners I’ve had, but still everyone treated me as if I had sex with anyone and everyone as much as I could.”

  “The worst part had nothing to do with being used to settle a drug score. It was my boys. They were always treated badly as if they were worthless. I know who each of their fathers are. I even thought I loved Lath’s father, but I quickly learned that wasn’t love. I’m not sure I know what real love is beyond that of a parent and child.

  “My children, my poor children, were born because of my brother’s drug habit and debt. They don’t know any of this. I love my boys, Malone. They’re my life. It doesn’t matter how they got here.” I wipe the tears from my face and avoid his gaze.

  His hand falls onto mine and he begins rubbing circles on my palm. “Hadlea, it’s okay. None of that matters. I’m proud to say that I know you and your boys. You have to understand, none of this is your fault. You were just a pawn who was used in someone else’s game.”

  My tears continue to fall. “Malone, yes it is. I should’ve told someone. I should’ve stopped it, but somewhere within me, I felt it was what I deserved. The only things I don’t regret about the whole thing are my boys. No matter what’s said about me or what anyone could ever do to me, they are the best things that could’ve happened during such a dark time in my life.

  “Having the boys the way I did nearly destroyed my parents. I never told them the truth; instead, I allowed them to believe I was a whore. I spent my life raising my boys and trying to make up for embarrassing my parents. For disappointing them.”

  One shakes his head. “There is no way your parents believed that about you. They loved you, no matter the circumstances.”

  How is he still here? I just don’t understand why he hasn’t left yet. Is it just curiosity?

  “Don’t you see it? I’m not worthy of love. I don’t deserve it. I never will. There is so much more I can’t bring myself to tell you. I can’t. You’re too good, too noble. I’m nothing, have nothing. I’m used and broken; not even worth salvaging. From the time I allowed my brother to do those things to me, I’m not even worth the air I breathe.”

  He just sits there listening to me, unmoving. Why the fuck won’t he just leave?

  Eventually, the silence gets to him, and he speaks, “Lath’s father, you thought you loved him? He didn’t stand by you?”

  “What? Love? Stand by me? No. Oh, yes. He stood by me, more like on top of me. He beat me daily—again my own fault. I’ve had black eyes, ruptured ear drums, concussions, chipped teeth, bruises, and my nose broken. I’ve had broken bones more times than I care to admit to you. You name it, I’ve had it. I’ve had my teeth repaired and a nose job. The one thing my money has given me is the opportunity to erase some of the physical damage. And I hid it all from my parents. I was such a coward. Still am.”

  I release a pent-up breath and continue, “Why do you think I push you away, Malone? Because you don’t need this, any of it. You’re perfect and clean. Unsoiled. I’ve never trusted anyone before you and Thayer. Hell, when Thayer hears this, she’ll probably be done with me. I’ll lose her friendship.”

  Continuing to listen, he tilts his head to one side. I love it when he does that; it’s adorable. I should push him away. I need to push him away!

  “Malone, please, I don’t deserve you or your love. I’ve never deserved it. I always bring trouble wherever I go, and I don’t want you to get pulled into my mess. You’ll lose your business once people find out I’m nothing more than a whore. Oh my God!” My hand flies to my mouth. “Your mother. I can’t, I just can’t face her again.” The torrent of tears flowing down my face feels like a faucet that’s been left running.

  “Let me get this straight, Hadlea. You think any of what you have shared with me, matters? To me? To my family? To my business? Why? I don’t understand why you think it does?” He stands there waiting for me to explain.

  This is where I have to end this. He can never know the rest or be near me. It can kill me. It will kill him.

  He starts to approach me, but I hold my hands up in defense halting him where he stands. “Please, Malone, don’t. I can’t.” I take a step away, but before I can take another, his hand finds my arm and I’m pulled back into his chest. This will end me.

  “Hadlea, stop. Stop running. You don’t have to tell me any more. Nothing else. But understand this, I’m not going anywhere. I can never leave you. It’s impossible.”

  I buckle with the heaviness in my chest, rivers flowing down my face. Crumpling to the floor, his arms remain encircling me as the gates I’ve kept closed for so long swing wide open.

  I mourn for us. For what we were, what we could’ve been, might have been. I mourn for my boys, the life I brought them into, the mistakes I made. And I mourn for my parents, for letting them down. The embarrassment I’ve caused them and my boys is unbearable.

  Breaking my soul open further, I mourn for the little girl who trusted, believed, and loved; for her lost innocence. I mourn for the woman I wasn’t but should’ve been. I mourn for the love I want, need, and crave. Grieving things’, I will never ha
ve in my life because I don’t believe I’ve ever deserved them.

  And when the tears finally stop, I stay in his arms because I can, even though I still don’t deserve it; especially after what I’m about to do to him. If I don’t, he might die.

  I begin to withdraw, however, he holds firm allowing only enough slack to move within his arms. Twisting around, I hold his face in my hands. “Malone, I love you. I never dreamed that I would find someone like you. God help me, I do even though I shouldn’t, but I have to let you go. We can’t be together. I want you to leave.”

  His eyes narrow and he looks incredulous. “I’m stronger than you give me credit for, which means I’m not going anywhere. Do you understand?” I push back and his embrace tightens. “And you, maddening woman, I love you.”

  As simple as that, this is going to get ugly.

  “No. We can’t. You can’t. No!” I exclaim, doubling my efforts to escape.

  “Hadlea, stop!” he yells, changing his grip on me. “Yes, we can. We will figure it out together.”

  I didn’t think I had any more tears to cry, but they fall.

  Using one hand to brush away some of the drops, he tells me, “We can do this, trust me. We’ll work through it all one step at a time.”

  I begin to protest, but he ignores me. Instead, amidst my attempts to escape, he lifts me and presses his lips to mine. I’m weak to his kisses. Hell, I’m weak to him and as much as I want him to go, I want him by my side too.

  Swinging me up in his arms, he carries me back to the bedroom. Together we settle on the bed and I snuggle close to his side, laying my head on his chest. Reality will eventually creep back in, so I’ll bask while I can.

  “Don’t, Hadlea. We’re going to figure this out. I’m too far gone to not have you as mine. Give us a chance and time. It’s going to be all right. We’re going to work on us slowly, and as soon as you can, you’re going to tell me the parts that scare you. I won’t have you terrified or worried, nor are either of us going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

  It was a statement, a declaration, and I loved it. Settling into his strong arms in contentment, I fall asleep.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  One

  Hadlea lay sleeping in my arms and all I can think about is the look on her face when I arrived this evening. I know she expected me to react and walk out after sharing some of her secrets, but honestly, it’s of no importance to me. My only concern is for her because in my eyes, she’s been through hell. No wonder she is tough as nails and can handle herself. She’s always needed to. But not anymore, she will never be alone again. I won’t allow it. I plan to be by her side forever, and she is going to find out how stubborn I can be.

  I have a sneaky suspicion that she isn’t going to make it easy; not when she believes I’m better off without her. Somehow, though, I’ll make her see things my way.

  Why couldn’t I have met her sooner? I could’ve protected her from all the bad she endured. I can’t lose her, not when I have finally found the love of my life. From here on out, her life will be changed for the better— I will see to it.

  I move just enough to gaze down at her, and again I’m struck by her beauty. While sleeping, Hadlea has the most peaceful look on her face. I stare longer than I should and her eyes begin to flutter so I snuggle closer, wanting to hold her forever. And when she opens her eyes, the sweetest smile brightens her face. I could lay here for eternity staring at her. “Mornin’.”

  “What’s with the big ol’ smile of yours?” she pops one eye open followed by the other.

  “You.”

  Tilting her head back, she rolls her eyes and her expression tells me she doesn’t quite believe me. This woman, this being, with just that look, has the ability to send me over the moon.

  “What about me? The light of day making you reconsider?” She starts to pull away, hurt and uncertainty make her voice tremble.

  “Not on your life, woman. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I don’t plan on ever reconsidering being with you for the rest of my life. Now if you don’t mind, I plan on snuggling until I need food.” I tighten my arms around her.

  “When do you have to leave?” she asks, the wheels in her mind turning.

  “Well, if it’s okay with you, I can stay tonight and leave for work from here.”

  “I could make you a real breakfast.”

  “Can I help?”

  “No. Shower,” she replies grinning before getting up. “Up!” saying as she sashays out the door.

  Chuckling, I think, I could get used to this.

  I hop in the shower and rush through it, anxious to get back to her. My hair is still dripping when I approach the kitchen, carried there by the most amazing smells wafting through the house. If it tastes half as good as it smells, I’m going to gorge myself.

  Turning the corner, I find Hadlea busy setting the table in the sunroom. “Can I bring anything out?” I ask as she meets me at the door. She looks perfect with her hair piled high on her head, small strands falling everywhere, and a smattering of flour on her cheek.

  Her eyes smolder with heat when she takes my hand. “No, I got this. Sit.”

  Following her orders for once, I continue to the table which she’s set with all the breakfast condiments a man could ask for. It’s not long before she enters the room with a tray of food.

  How did she do all this in such a short amount of time? “Did you cook everything in your fridge?” There are plates and bowls all over the table.

  Biting her lip, she frowns. “I forgot to ask what you liked. I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Before she can move away, I wrap my hand around her wrist and drag her onto my lap. “Baby, it’s perfect. I love everything you’ve prepared. How about you sit here, so we can feed each other?”

  “You don’t have to eat everything,” she peeks at me through her lashes and speaks sweetly.

  “I want it all. What do we have? Eggs, biscuits, bacon, sausage, fresh squeezed OJ, and …what’s in the covered bowl?” Lifting the lid, the aroma hits me. “Is that gravy?”

  She nods contently, “Homemade, hope you like it. It’s my mother’s recipe.” Hadlea reaches for another lid. “I also fixed cooked apples. I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten them.”

  I wouldn’t tell her if I didn’t. Anyone that would go to this much trouble must really be trying her damnedest. “Baby, it's perfect.”

  After plating our food, she starts to get up so she can sit on the other side of the table, away from me. “Where you going? Come here,” I pull her back onto my lap and feed her between bites of my own, watching as she timidly takes the food I’m offering, “This is amazing. Damn, woman, you can cook.”

  The smile on her face from such a small complement melts me.

  “I’m glad you like it. Finish what you want, I’m going to clear some of these dishes,” she says.

  “You cooked, I’ll clean,” I fight back, following her into the kitchen.

  “Are you kidding?” Although laughing, she looks puzzled.

  “No, I’m not. You, go shower.” Before she can get away, I drag her ass back. “But next time, baby, we shower together.”

  Now her gorgeous face is covered with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face; a smile that I love so damn much.

  Hadlea consumes me. My every thought is about her. She’s so strong, yet I need to protect her. When she’s sleeping, her hair is everywhere. Tangled in a mess and wrapped around my arm or in her face. I adore it. The feel of her beside me, not just in bed but in the couch or my truck.

  Her smile could cure depression. It comes from within, lighting all the dark paths that hold her captive. I’m scared. So afraid of fucking this up, fucking us up. She’s been hurt enough. My marriage was such a failure. I can’t make the same mistakes with Hadlea.

  I know I won’t, she’s not Monty. She’s so much more. She’s everything. Hadlea took my life by storm and pulls me to her. A swelling tide that washes over
me, pushing me to the surface, to be more for her. Pulling her with me, so we’re not lost in the undertow.

  She makes me a better man and I can’t wait to see us in twenty or thirty years. To love her forever is all I want, it’s all I need.

  I’m just about finished with the dishes as Hadlea joins me again. “So, what are your plans for the day?” she inquires.

  Giving her a good once over, I wag my brows. “I’ve got some ideas, you?”

  Her eyes smolder at my suggestion. “The same thing you want to do.”

  From that point forward we spend the day, either in bed enjoying each other or in the sunroom snuggling in the hammock. Later in the evening, with no lights and only the glow from the television, we watch B-rated movies while lying together on the couch. I never knew the connection between two people could be so strong; never knew a love like this existed.

  Laying here with her in my arms, I can’t imagine a life without her. She pulled me in from minute one. I can’t remember when I fell in love with her, sometimes it feels as though I always have. Her strength alone inspires me to be a better man.

  Content and basking in our own world, we barely hear my phone ringing, and from the ringtone, I know it’s my sister intruding upon our precious time.

  “Hey,” my voice sounds raspy.

  “Still with Lea? Oh, don’t answer that. I just drove past. I was going the other way about six hours ago, so I know the answer. Is she doing okay?”

  I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. Thayer’s too damn nosy. “Yeah, I’m still here. Yes, we’re fine. Anything else?” Hadlea giggles beside me as I tickle her side when she moves closer to eavesdrop.

  “Is that her? Let me talk to her.”

  Hadlea overhears and makes a grab for the phone, but I deny both of them, “Hell no. I have plans that don’t include you. Be careful, love you.” I end the call.

  “So, what are your plans?” She giggles as she straddles me.

  “Well, I can work with this, but first, I need to ask you about something.”

  She sits up and attempts to move away from me. “Yes?”