Pretend

by Charlene Antrobus

  I honestly had never heard Aiden speak so much in one sentence or speak so much at all and it was nice. It was also the reason that I blurted out the next thing that I did.

  "Gosh you make it so hard not to fall deeper in love with you," I said without thinking. I suddenly felt my cheeks heat up as I tried to look out of the window and brush off what I had said. Sure, I had told Aiden that I loved him but I never quite told him that I was 'in love' with him. I never really thought that there was a difference between the two before Aiden but there really was. I loved Kyle and it was an amazing feeling but this was different. With Aiden things just didn't make sense but it didn't matter. With Aiden I knew that it was different, I loved him in a way that made me accept that he was my best friend, a way that made me want to tell him things about my life that I could just about tell myself, in a way that made me want to put his feelings before mine, in a way that meant that if he hurt then my heart felt broken and in a way that if he was in pain, I wouldn’t hesitate to switch places with him just so that he was ok and I can honestly say that I have never felt that way before.

  "In love?" He asked in a serious tone.

  "Erm...I guess so, yeah," I mumbled.

  "Crazy, right?" I said as I turned to face him.

  "If you were telling someone that didn't feel the exact same way then yes but you're not," he said before pulling up in the parking lot of Janeson high and parking his car.

  "You do?" I asked, quietly.

  "April, do you even have to ask?" He said.

  "It's just that..." I began.

  "I get it. Kyle, right? Look, I know what Kyle did to you and I understand that, it makes you scared to put that level of trust in someone else but I'm not out to hurt you," he said in a gentle voice.

  "That's just it I'm not scared to put my trust in you and that's the bit that scares me. I already trust you in a way that I have never trusted anyone before," I said in a serious tone as I bit my bottom lip.

  "Good because I trust you too and honestly I can't say that I will never hurt you but I can promise you that I will never intentionally hurt you and that I intend to protect you for the rest of my life," he said as he gently squeezed my hand, causing a smile to appear on my face.

  "Good," I replied.

  "Oh and for the record I fell in love with you a long, long time ago it just took me a while to realise it," he said as he opened his car door and slid out.

  I didn't reply, instead I just smiled and watched as he took my hand in his and headed towards the entrance of the school.

  * * *

  I have to admit that the day went pretty quickly, which made me very happy since I was really looking forward to seeing Ed later. I also spent most of the day in a daze, just thinking about mine and Aiden's conversation earlier, he really was the one. How it took me so long to notice I will never know.

  "Earth to April," Jess said as she waved her hand in front of my face.

  "Sorry I was just-"

  "Thinking about Aiden," her, Crystal, Jinnie and Erica all sang as we all burst out laughing.

  I didn't even bother denying it since my face would probably give me away anyway.

  "Anyway, can I catch you guys up later, I wanted to go and talk to Kyle's friends because I didn't see him around today," I said as I stood to my feet.

  "Ok," they all said in unison before carrying on with their conversation and eating their lunch.

  As I went to walk off I was stopped by a gentle tug on my wrist.

  "Will you be ok?" Crystal said before taking her hand off of my wrist. I nodded my head to say yes, which caused her to smile and then I walked off in the direction of Kyle's friends.

  "Hey J," I said as I approached the table that Kyle would usually be sat at.

  I received a few nods and smiles from the rest of Kyle's friends before Jamie stood up and walked over to me.

  "Hey gorgeous, you ok?" He said before throwing his arms around me.

  "I'm great thanks, you?" I asked as I smiled at him.

  "You know me, just up to the same old tricks," he said as he winked at me.

  Jamie was kind of known as the schools 'business man'. If you were ever looking for something to buy then he was your guy. He would sell anything from sweets to drinks to phone cases. If anyone would own their own company by the age of twenty then it would be Jamie. Where he got the stuff that he sold I'd never know but then again I never asked.

  "And how are 'tricks' going for you these days?" I said as I smirked at him.

  "Wonderfully my dear. That reminds me, tell all of your friends that I have some new makeup that I'm selling today at some very reasonable prices," he said as I began to laugh.

  "What? A man has to make a living sweet cheeks," he said as he smirked at me.

  "J, your dad owns a multimillion dollar company, I think that you can chill out," I said as I smiled at him.

  "Yeah but that's his living, I like to make my own," he replied.

  Good point.

  "Anyway I just came over to see if you'd seen Kyle today?" I asked, hopefully.

  "As a matter of fact I have," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  "Where is he?" I asked.

  "Now, that is going to cost you," he said as he winked at me.

  "Do I need to bring Crystal over here?" I said as I raised my eyebrows at him.

  "Well, if she's still hot then yes please," he said as he glanced over at where she was sat with a smile on his face.

  "To kick your butt I mean," I said as he began to laugh.

  "To be honest she is sexier when she's angry-"

  "Jamie!" I said, cutting him off.

  "Ok, ok, he's out on the field, you know by where we used to all hang?" He asked.

  "Yeah, I know. Thanks J," I said before turning to walk away.

  "No problem April and remember about the makeup and Crystal," he said as I turned around and rolled my eyes at him.

  * * *

  Just as Jamie had said, Kyle was sat on the field just staring into space.

  "Do you mind if I join you?" I asked before sitting down in the empty space next to him on the grass.

  He nodded his head to say no he didn't mind and so I took a seat. We sat still for five minutes, just staring until he finally broke the silence.

  "How are you?" He said as he kept his head straight.

  "I'm ok thanks, you?" I asked nervously.

  "Yeah I'm good," he said, quietly as he looked down at the grass before pulling a few strands out of the ground and rolling them between his finger tips.

  "Kyle, I wanted to talk to you about the other night. Look, I'm sorry for running off like that-"

  "It's ok, I understand," he said, interrupting me.

  "It still wasn't fair, I just saw your mom and panicked," I said.

  "I know and I don't blame you," he said.

  "I've had lots of time to think about everything, you know, put it into perspective and you were right."

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "The baby, I'll never forget that but it was out of our control, it wasn't something that we could prevent," he said in a sad voice.

  "I know," I whispered.

  "I am sorry that you had to deal with it alone though, I never would have done that to you if I'd have known. If things were different, if the baby was still, you know then I just want you to know that I would have stood by you even if we weren't together, I would have been there," he said in a serious voice.

  "I know that you would have," I said as I let out a breath that I hadn't even realised I'd been holding.

  "Good. I know that I've screwed up a lot and I know that you've moved on and honestly it makes me happy to see you happy. I just want us to be friends like we were before, I don't want to lose that, ever," he said as he turned to face me.

  "Me neither," I said as a smile filled my face.

  "I really do love you April, as a friend I mean. You mean a lot to me," he said as he smiled at me and squeezed my hand.
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  "I understand," I said as I smiled at him.

  For the first time, I realised that he got it. He knew that we were over and he knew that Aiden was the one but he understood that I needed him in my life as a friend and I was so happy that he finally realised.

  "You're one of my closest friends Kyle and we've been through way too much to just throw it all away. I love you too," I said as I threw my arms around his neck and smiled. That smile was soon wiped off of my face as I heard the footsteps behind me that made me turn around at a speed that nearly caused my neck to fly off my shoulders.

  "Aiden, wait!" I shouted as I watched him walk away.

  He ignored me of course. Why did he have to be so stubborn?

  "Aiden please, it's not-"

  "What it looks like, of course not," he said as he looked at me with an emotionless expression that made me almost choke on my own breath.

  "Aiden please," I pleaded as I stared into his eyes.

  "I thought you meant it but I guess I was just kidding myself. It will always be him," he said before disappearing into the building and leaving me to feel like I had just been stabbed in the heart with a knife.

  "Hey, hey don't cry, I will fix this I promise. I will talk to him after school and explain everything don't worry, ok?" Kyle asked as he pulled me into his arms and held me tight.

  "I won't let you lose him, I promise," he whispered. I nodded my head and hoped that he was right because right now the one thing that I couldn't lose was Aiden. I just couldn't.

  * * *

  What had previously been a fast day seemed to decide that it wanted to go as slow as possible now and as I sat through my chem lesson all that I could do was stare at the clock.

  "My brother is such an ignorant idiot! He never sticks around to listen to a full story. He just storms off like the hot headed idiot that he is!" Crystal moaned after I had told her what had happened.

  "I guess it wasn't exactly the best thing for him to see. I can imagine how it must have looked," I said in a sad voice.

  "Yeah but the point is he should listen. A relationship is built on trust. Oh just wait until I get my hands on him," she said in an angry tone.

  "No, just leave him, Kyle said that he'll fix it and I believe him," I muttered as I stared at the three tubes of chemicals that we were supposed to be experimenting on.

  "So, does this mean that Aiden's like single now?" Hayley asked as a smile filled her face.

  "No, now shut up before I tell your mom how you got drunk and threw up at my party," Crystal said as she scowled at her.

  Hayley turned her head quickly in a bid to avoid Crystal's gaze.

  "Well, I'll leave it to Kyle but if that fails then I'm going to kick his arrogant butt!" Crystal continued.

  "Ok, deal," I said as I smiled at her.

  "Good, now what exactly are we supposed to be doing?" She asked as we both turned to Hayley for the answer since neither of us had been listening.

  * * *

  It was finally the end of the day but instead of feeling happy like I usually would, I felt nervous. I needed to speak to Aiden and clear all of this mess up. I loved that boy but his stubbornness annoyed me more than I can even explain. I wouldn't have felt quite as bad had I not watched Aiden chatting away to a couple of girls that clearly liked him, when we walked into the parking lot.

  "I'm sorry but Kyle's time is up, I'm going to kill him!" Crystal said as she marched over to where Aiden was stood.

  "Crystal, don't," I tried to shout as I chased behind her. She of course didn't listen.

  "Goodbye," Crystal said as she stared at the two girls who were currently flirting with Aiden as though their lives depended on it.

  "Erm...We'll catch you later then," the one that I recognised as Kayley said as she went to walk away.

  "No, I'm giving you guys a lift, remember? Stay there," he said before turning back around with an annoyed expression on his face. He didn't even glance at me and instead just stared at Crystal with an angry expression on his face.

  "What the hell are you doing?" She growled as she faced him.

  "Talking, what does it look like?" He asked sarcastically.

  "Really, just talking? Well can I just remind you that you have a freaking girlfriend!" She screamed.

  "Really? Do I? Because as far as I know she is in love with someone else, oh and speak of the devil," he said as he looked behind us.

  As I turned to see what he was looking at, I spotted Kyle walking towards us with a look of determination on his face.

  "Can I have a word please?" He asked as he approached Aiden.

  "I'm busy," Aiden said as he turned to face the two girls again.

  "Are you really this big of a moron?" Kyle asked which, was clearly the wrong thing to say to Aiden right now.

  "Kyle, just leave it," I whispered as I gently touched his arm.

  "Yeah listen to her Kyle, it's the smartest thing that she's said all day," he said as he sniggered to himself. He was angry.

  "Look, I'm doing this for her not me. For some crazy reason she loves you, so are you going to listen to me or end up being a stupid jerk like me and lose the one thing that you want because of a mistake?" He asked as he held Aiden's gaze. I watched as Aiden's face softened slightly as he glanced my way for a second.

  "Five minutes and then get lost," he said before asking his two 'female friends' to give him a minute. That was also mine and Crystal's cue to walk away as well.

  "Wow, Kyle really stood his ground there, maybe he's not as bad as I thought he was," Crystal said as we began to walk towards where Jess was stood, waiting for her lift from Anthony who was more than likely going to be late.

  I let out a small laugh before turning around to see a silent Aiden listening to the words that Kyle was saying.

  "Hey, what are you guys doing?" Jess asked as she watched me and Crystal walking towards her.

  "Waiting for my stupid brother to stop being a jerk," Crystal answered.

  "Oh dear, men," she said as she looked over at Kyle and Aiden.

  "Running late?" I asked her with a smile on my face.

  "That boy will be late for his own funeral, which could be just around the corner if he continues to keep me waiting like this,” she said as we all began laughing.

  "We laugh but it's true," Crystal said.

  "Yup," I agreed.

  "Ok, don't look now but it looks like their little conversation is over," Jess said as she took a sneaky glance in the direction that Kyle and Aiden were stood.

  That's when I felt my phone vibrate. I saw Aiden's name pop up on my screen and quickly opened it up.

  I'm sorry, I was stupid. I love you. Can we talk? x

  "So he does have an ounce of common sense," Crystal said as she peered over my shoulder.

  "About time you jerk!" She shouted to Aiden as he looked down at his feet in embarrassment.

  "Go get your man, girl," Jess said as she winked at me, causing me to smile.

  "Ok, wish me luck," I said.

  "I'll catch a ride with Jess and Ant and leave you two to be alone again,” Crystal said with a smile on her face.

  "Sorry and thanks," I said as I smiled at her.

  "Oh, don't worry I have I.O.U lists for all of you," she said with a smirk on her face.

  "What, you write them down?" Jess asked in an amused tone.

  "No, I keep a mental note and so far Aiden and April have the longest lists," she said with a smirk on her face.

  Just as I went reply to Crystal I felt my phone vibrate in my hand again.

  "Gosh my brother is stubborn and impatient. He can wait since he made you wait," she said before I looked down at the text that was in my hand.

  As I read the words on my screen my whole body froze and a feeling of sickness came over me as I looked at his name.

  "April what's wrong?" Crystal asked.

  "Oh my gosh!" Jess screamed as I heard the screeching of car wheels behind me.

  As I span around and watched t
he red truck going full speed towards Aiden I felt my whole world come crashing down.

  "Aiden!" I heard Crystal shout before her and Jess ran in his direction, leaving me stood frozen.

  I looked down at the text message that I had just received from Jake and read the words again.

  I told you that this wasn't over.

  As the words sank in for the final time, I felt all of the muscles in my body go weak just before I hit the floor and a cloud of darkness consumed me...

  AIDEN’S POINT OF VIEW

  "Hey," I said as I walked up to where Murphy and Taise were sat in the cafeteria.

  "Hey," Murphy said as he nodded his head at me.

  "What are you girls gossiping about?" I asked as I sat down with a smirk on my face.

  "Dude, please don't make me have to prove to you that I'm a guy in the middle of the school canteen," Murphy said with a mischievous glint in his eye that told me there was a chance that he may actually do what he was saying he would.

  "That won't be necessary," I said as we all began laughing.

  "So, you seem chilled out," Taise said nervously.

  "Why wouldn't I be?"

  "Well haven't you heard?" He asked as though he wished that he had just kept his mouth shut.

  "Heard what?" I asked anxiously.

  "That moron broke up with your sister that's what," Murphy said in an angry tone as he looked over at where Crystal and her friends were sat.

  "Dude, you guys should really steer clear of gossip you know," I said as I raised my eyebrow at him.

  "So he didn't break up with her?" Murphy asked.

  "No," I replied.

  "Oh," Murphy said as though he was slightly disappointed.

  "She broke up with him," I added.

  "What?" They both said with a shocked look on their faces.