by Alice Walker
What you doing here? ast Harpo.
Sofia say, Come to hear Miss Shug. You got a nice place here Harpo. She look around. This and that her eyes admire.
Harpo say, It just a scandless, a woman with five children hanging out in a jukejoint at night.
Sofia eye go cool. She look him up and down.
Since he quit stuffing himself, he gained a bunch of weight, face, head and all, mostly from drinking home brew and eating left-over barbecue. By now he just about her size.
A woman need a little fun, once in a while, she say.
A woman need to be at home, he say.
She say, This is my home. Though I do think it go better as a jukejoint.
Harpo look at the prize fighter. Prizefighter push back his chair a little, pick up his drink.
I don’t fight Sofia battle, he say. My job to love her and take her where she want to go.
Harpo breathe some relief.
Let’s dance, he say.
Sofia laugh, git up. Put both arms round his neck. They slow drag out cross the floor.
Harpo little yellowish girlfriend sulk, hanging over the bar. She a nice girl, friendly and everything, but she like me. She do anything Harpo say.
He give her a little nickname, too, call her Squeak.
Pretty soon Squeak git up her nerve to try to cut in.
Harpo try to turn Sofia so she can’t see. But Squeak keep on tapping and tapping on his shoulder.
Finally he and Sofia stop dancing. They bout two feet from our table.
Shug say, uh-oh, and point with her chin, something bout to blow right there.
Who dis woman, say Squeak, in this little teenouncy voice.
You know who she is, say Harpo.
Squeak turn to Sofia. Say, You better leave him alone.
Sofia say, Fine with me. She turn round to leave.
Harpo grab her by the arm. Say, You don’t have to go no where. Hell, this your house.
Squeak say, What you mean, Dis her house? She walk out on you. Walk away from the house. It over now, she say to Sofia.
Sofia say, Fine with me. Try to pull away from Harpo grip. He hold her tight.
Listen Squeak, say Harpo, Can’t a man dance with his own wife?
Squeak say, Not if he my man he can’t. You hear that, bitch, she say to Sofia.
Sofia gitting a little tired of Squeak, I can tell by her ears. They sort of push back. But she say again, sorta end of argument like, Hey, fine with me.
Squeak slap her up cross the head.
What she do that for. Sofia don’t even deal in little ladyish things such as slaps. She ball up her fist, draw back, and knock two of Squeak’s side teef out. Squeak hit the floor. One toof hanging on her lip, the other one upside my cold drink glass.
Then Squeak start banging on Harpo leg with her shoe.
You git that bitch out a here, she cry, blood and slobber running down her chin.
Harpo and Sofia stand side by side looking down at Squeak, but I don’t think they hear her. Harpo still holding Sofia arm. Maybe half a minute go by. Finally he turn loose her arm, reach down and cradle poor little Squeak in his arms. He coo and coo at her like she a baby.
Sofia come over and git the prizefighter. They go out the door and don’t look back. Then us hear a car motor start.
DEAR GOD,
Harpo mope. Wipe the counter, light a cigarette, look outdoors, walk up and down. Little Squeak run long all up under him trying to git his tension. Baby this, she say, Baby that. Harpo look through her head, blow smoke.
Squeak come over to the corner where me and Mr. _____ at. She got two bright gold teef in the side of her mouth, generally grin all the time. Now she cry. Miss Celie, she say, What the matter with Harpo?
Sofia in jail, I say.
In jail? She look like I say Sofia on the moon.
What she in jail for? she ast.
Sassing the mayor’s wife, I say.
Squeak pull up a chair. Look down my throat.
What your real name? I ast her. She say, Mary Agnes.
Make Harpo call you by your real name, I say. Then maybe he see you even when he trouble.
She look at me puzzle. I let it go. I tell her what one of Sofia sister tell me and Mr. ____.
Sofia and the prizefighter and all the children got in the prizefighter car and went to town. Clam out on the street looking like somebody. Just then the mayor and his wife come by.
All these children, say the mayor’s wife, digging in her pocketbook. Cute as little buttons though, she say. She stop, put her hand on one of the children head. Say, and such strong white teef.
Sofia and the prizefighter don’t say nothing. Wait for her to pass. Mayor wait too, stand back and tap his foot, watch her with a little smile. Now Millie, he say. Always going on over colored. Miss Millie finger the children some more, finally look at Sofia and the prizefighter. She look at the prizefighter car. She eye Sofia wristwatch. She say to Sofia, All your children so clean, she say, would you like to work for me, be my maid?
Sofia say, Hell no.
She say, What you say?
Sofia say, Hell no.
Mayor look at Sofia, push his wife out the way. Stick out his chest. Girl, what you say to Miss Millie?
Sofia say, I say, Hell no.
He slap her.
I stop telling it right there.
Squeak on the edge of her seat. She wait. Look down my throat some more.
No need to say no more, Mr. _____ say. You know what happen if somebody slap Sofia.
Squeak go white as a sheet. Naw, she say.
Naw nothing, I say. Sofia knock the man down.
The polices come, start slinging the children off the mayor, bang they heads together. Sofia really start to fight. They drag her to the ground.
This far as I can go with it, look like. My eyes git full of water and my throat close.
Poor Squeak all scrunch down in her chair, trembling.
They beat Sofia, Mr. _____ say.
Squeak fly up like she sprung, run over hind the counter to Harpo, put her arms round him. They hang together a long time, cry.
What the prizefighter do in all this? I ast Sofia sister, Odessa.
He want to jump in, she say. Sofia say No, take the children home.
Polices have they guns on him anyway. One move, he dead. Six of them, you know.
Mr. _____ go plead with the sheriff to let us see Sofia.
Bub be in so much trouble, look so much like the sheriff, he and Mr. _____ almost on family terms. Just long as Mr. _____ know he colored.
Sheriff say, She a crazy woman, your boy’s wife. You know that?
Mr. _____ say, Yassur, us do know it. Been trying to tell
Harpo she crazy for twelve years. Since way before they marry. Sofia come from crazy peoples, Mr. _____ say, it not all her fault. And then again, the sheriff know how womens is, anyhow.
Sheriff think bout the women he know, say, Yep, you right there.
Mr. _____ say, We gon tell her she crazy too, if us ever do git in to see her.
Sheriff say, Well make sure you do. And tell her she lucky she alive.
When I see Sofia I don’t know why she still alive. They crack her skull, they crack her ribs. They tear her nose loose on one side. They blind her in one eye. She swole from head to foot. Her tongue the size of my arm, it stick out tween her teef like a piece of rubber. She can’t talk. And she just about the color of a eggplant.
Scare me so bad I near bout drop my grip. But I don’t. I put it on the floor of the cell, take out comb and brush, nightgown, witch hazel and alcohol and I start to work on her. The colored tendant bring me water to wash her with, and I start at her two little slits for eyes.
DEAR GOD,
They put Sofia to work in the prison laundry. All day long from five to eight she washing clothes. Dirty convict uniforms, nasty sheets and blankets piled way over her head. Us see her twice a month for half a hour. Her face yellow and sickly, her fingers look like
fatty sausage.
Everything nasty here, she say, even the air. Food bad enough to kill you with it. Roaches here, mice, flies, lice and even a snake or two. If you say anything they strip you, make you sleep on a cement floor without a light.
How you manage? us ast.
Every time they ast me to do something, Miss Celie, I act like I’m you. I jump right up and do just what they say.
She look wild when she say that, and her bad eye wander round the room.
Mr. _____ suck in his breath. Harpo groan. Miss Shug cuss. She come from Memphis special to see Sofia.
I can’t fix my mouth to say how I feel.
I’m a good prisoner, she say. Best convict they ever see. They can’t believe I’m the one sass the mayor’s wife, knock the mayor down. She laugh. It sound like something from a song. The part where everybody done gone home but you.
Twelve years a long time to be good though, she say.
Maybe you git out on good behavior, say Harpo.
Good behavior ain’t good enough for them, say Sofia. Nothing less than sliding on your belly with your tongue on they boots can even git they attention. I dream of murder, she say, I dream of murder sleep or wake.
Us don’t say nothing.
How the children? she ast.
They all fine, say Harpo. Tween Odessa and Squeak, they git by.
Say thank you to Squeak, she say. Tell Odessa I think about her.
DEAR GOD,
Us all sit round the table after supper. Me, Shug, Mr. ____, Squeak, the prizefighter, Odessa and two more of Sofia sisters.
Sofia not gon last, say Mr. ____.
Yeah, say Harpo, she look little crazy to me.
And what she had to say, say Shug. My God.
Us got to do something, say Mr. _____ and be right quick about it.
What can us do? ast Squeak. She look a little haggard with all Sofia and Harpo children sprung on her at once, but she carry on. Hair a little stringy, slip show, but she carry on.
Bust her out, say Harpo. Git some dynamite off the gang that’s building that big bridge down the road, blow the whole prison to kingdom come.
Shut up, Harpo, say Mr. ____, us trying to think.
I got it, say the prizefighter, smuggle in a gun. Well, he rub his chin, maybe smuggle in a file.
Naw, say Odessa. They just come after her if she leave that way.
Me and Squeak don’t say nothing. I don’t know what she think, but I think bout angels, God coming down by chariot, swinging down real low and carrying ole Sofia home. I see ’em all as clear as day. Angels all in white, white hair and white eyes, look like albinos. God all white too, looking like some stout white man work at the bank. Angels strike they cymbals, one of them blow his horn, God blow out a big breath of fire and suddenly Sofia free.
Who the warden’s black kinfolks? say Mr. ____.
Nobody say nothing.
Finally the prizefighter speak. What his name? he ast.
Hodges, say Harpo. Bubber Hodges.
Old man Henry Hodges’ boy, say Mr. ____. Used to live out on the old Hodges’ place.
Got a brother name Jimmy? ast Squeak.
Yeah, say Mr. ____. Brother name Jimmy. Married to that Quitman girl. Daddy own the hardware. You know them?
Squeak duck her head. Mumble something.
Say what? ast Mr. ____.
Squeak cheek turn red. She mumble again.
He your what? Mr. _____ ast.
Cousin, she say.
Mr. _____ look at her.
Daddy, she say. She cut her eye at Harpo. Look at the floor.
He know anything bout it? ast Mr. ____.
Yeah, she say. He got three children by my mama. Two younger than me.
His brother know anything bout it? ast Mr. ____.
One time he come by the house with Mr. Jimmy, he give us all quarters, say we sure do look like Hodges.
Mr. _____ rear back in his chair, give Squeak a good look from head to foot. Squeak push her greasy brown hair back from her face.
Yeah, say Mr. ____. I see the resemblance. He bring his chair down on the floor.
Well, look like you the one to go.
Go where, ast Squeak.
Go see the warden. He your uncle.
DEAR GOD,
Us dress Squeak like she a white woman, only her clothes patch. She got on a starch and iron dress, high heel shoes with scuffs, and a old hat somebody give Shug. Us give her a old pocketbook look like a quilt and a little black bible. Us wash her hair and git all the grease out, then I put it up in two plaits that cross over her head. Us bathe her so clean she smell like a good clean floor.
What I’m gon say? she ast.
Say you living with Sofia husband and her husband say Sofia not being punish enough. Say she laugh at the fool she make of the guards. Say she gitting along just fine where she at. Happy even, long as she don’t have to be no white woman maid.
Gracious God, say Squeak, how I’m gonna tune up my mouth to say all that?
He ast you who you is, make him remember. Tell him how much that quarter he give you meant to you.
That was fifteen years ago, say Squeak, he ain’t gonna remember that.
Make him see the Hodges in you, say Odessa. He’ll remember.
Tell him you just think justice ought to be done, yourself. But make sure he know you living with Sofia husband, say Shug. Make sure you git in the part bout being happy where she at, worse thing could happen to her is to be some white lady maid.
I don’t know, say the prizefighter. This sound mighty much like some ole uncle Tomming to me.
Shug snort, Well, she say, Uncle Tom wasn’t call Uncle for nothing.
DEAR GOD,
Poor little Squeak come home with a limp. Her dress rip. Her hat missing and one of the heels come off her shoe.
What happen? us ast.
He saw the Hodges in me, she say. And he didn’t like it one bit.
Harpo come up the steps from the car. My wife beat up, my woman rape, he say. I ought to go back out there with guns, maybe set fire to the place, burn the crackers up.
Shut up, Harpo, say Squeak. I’m telling it.
And she do.
Say, the minute I walk through the door, he remembered me.
What he say? us ast.
Say, What you want? I say, I come out of the interest I haves in seeing justice is done. What you say you want? he ast again.
I say what yall told me to say. Bout Sofia not being punish enough. Say she happy in prison, strong girl like her. Her main worry is just the thought of ever being some white woman maid. That what start the fight, you know, I say. Mayor’s wife ask Sofia to be her maid. Sofia say she never going to be no white woman’s nothing, let alone maid.
That so? he ast, all the time looking me over real good.
Yessir, I say. Say, prison suit her just fine. Shoot, washing and ironing all day is all she do at home. She got six children, you know.
That a fact? he say.
He come from behind his desk, lean over my chair.
Who your folks? he ast.
I tell him my mama’s name, grandmama’s name. Grandpa’s name.
Who your daddy? he ast. Where you git them eyes?
Ain’t got no daddy, I say.
Come on now, he say. Ain’t I seen you before?
I say, Yessir. And one time bout ten years ago, when I was a little girl, you give me a quarter. I sure did preshate it, I say.
I don’t remember that, he say.
You come by the house with my mama friend, Mr. Jimmy, I say.
Squeak look round at all of us. Then take a deep breath. Mumble.
Say what? ast Odessa.
Yeah, say Shug, if you can’t tell us, who you gon tell, God?
He took my hat off, say Squeak. Told me to undo my dress. She drop her head, put her face in her hands.
My God, say Odessa, and he your uncle.
He say if he was my uncle he wouldn’t do it to me. That be a sin. But
this just little fornication. Everybody guilty of that.
She turn her face up to Harpo. Harpo, she say, do you really love me, or just my color?
Harpo say, I love you, Squeak. He kneel down and try to put his arms round her waist.
She stand up. My name Mary Agnes, she say.
DEAR GOD,
6 months after Mary Agnes went to git Sofia out of prison, she begin to sing. First she sing Shug’s songs, then she begin to make up songs her own self.
She got the kind of voice you never think of trying to sing a song. It little, it high, it sort of meowing. But Mary Agnes don’t care.
Pretty soon, us git used to it. Then us like it a whole lot.
Harpo don’t know what to make of it.
It seem funny to me, he say to me and Mr. ____. So sudden. It put me in the mind of a gramaphone. Sit in the corner a year silent as the grave. Then you put a record on, it come to life.
Wonder if she still mad Sofia knock her teef out? I ast.
Yeah, she mad. But what good being mad gon do? She not evil, she know Sofia life hard to bear right now.
How she git long with the children? ast Mr. ____.
They love her, say Harpo. She let ’em do anything they want.
Oh-oh, I say.
Besides, he say, Odessa and Sofia other sisters always on hand to take up the slack. They bring up children like military.
Squeak sing,
They calls me yellow
like yellow be my name
They calls me yellow
like yellow be my name
But if yellow is a name
Why ain’t black the same
Well, if I say Hey black girl
Lord, she try to ruin my game
DEAR GOD,
Sofia say to me today, I just can’t understand it.
What that? I ast.
Why we ain’t already kill them off.
Three years after she beat she out of the wash house, got her color and her weight back, look like her old self, just all time think bout killing somebody.
Too many to kill off, I say. Us outnumbered from the start. I speck we knock over one or two, though, here and there, through the years, I say.
We sit on a piece of old crate out near the edge of Miss Millie’s yard. Rusty nails stick out long the bottom and when us move they creak gainst the wood.